


The Sky’s Morning Star

by Folie_a_duex



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Amnesiac Alois, Angst, F/M, Feely smut to come, I forgot to mention that, It’s similar to canon but it’s just in the modern day, Lingerie, M/M, Modern AU, Possessive Sex, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smut, Soldier Claude, Soldier Madam Red, Soldier Mey-Rin, Soldier sebastian, Sorry guys, Stripper Sebastian, TEMPORARY Hiatus, and is still spoiled, ciel still has butlers and stuff, cross dressing, one Hell of a everything Sebastian, slight cheating
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-10-08 16:52:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 93,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17390105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Folie_a_duex/pseuds/Folie_a_duex
Summary: Ciel Phantomhive is the new Earl Phantomhive and he is given the opportunity to complete Vincent Phantomhive’s legacy and beat the Reapers.But of course, a certain stripper / soldier / butler / everything gets in his way and shows him just how much he needs an assistant in the underworld...Will poor Ciel fall under Sebastian’s trap and suffer the consenquences of love?





	1. One Hell Of A Stripper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so I’ve edited the first chappy a bit, because I realized that my baby Ciel is a little virgin and that he shouldn’t be as cocky as he was with Sebastian touching him like that... It’s nothing much, mostly just descriptions of how Ciel’s mind reacts to the touches.

The metal crate is cold against his back and exhaustion is slowly creeping into his body. His feet ache in his boots and the eye under his eyepatch is starting to itch and sweat keeps getting trapped in there. It feels fucking disgusting. The darkness is meekly fought by a few lamps spotting the warehouse, but they do little to no good for his soldiers. No one can see a thing, except for the Reapers. The Reapers are perfectly equipped for the dark, like the hellhounds they are. 

 

Damn Reapers. Always stealing, always fighting, and always lying through their damned teeth. 

 

Earl Phantomhive hisses in frustration as the bullets fly past his cheek and through a few of his men. The Reapers had once again stolen from the Queen, and do you think she appreciates the bastards doing that? No! The Earl doesn’t appreciate it any more than she does, and perhaps he hates them a little more than she does - he is the one who has to deal with all of their shit, anyways. 

 

He turns around and pokes his head and arms above the small crate he’s hiding behind, and he briefly fires some counter fire, but he shrinks back down quickly when another one of the crates explode. It’s a few meters away from him, and he cringes a bit at the light it emits. 

 

The Reapers are a rebellion who are against modern western medicine - for some damn reason - and do everything in their power to attack hospitals and ‘reap’ those who should be dead if western medicine hadn’t saved their lives. The more ‘casual’ acts of rebellion they do is stealing medicine and machines from hospitals and ports - but people still die when they are interfered with. And right now, the Earl is interfering with them. The Reapers only believe in natural medicine and apparently saving lives isn’t the right thing to do when you’re using antibiotics! Anyone who dares go against them is disposed of quickly - unless you’re the Earl Phantomhive, and then you become a giant pain in their ass. He intends to stay a giant pain in their ass, they’ve been a pain in his ass so he might as well return the bloody favor. 

 

The Reapers have been creating a ruckus the past month, and the Earl has had too many late nights and frustrating dead ends on finding out who the actual hell is this ‘Spear’ all Reaper soldiers seem to admire so much. The ‘Spear’ is some sort of leader or religious icon the Reapers seem to worship, and according to the royal sources, they’re the ones controlling the Reapers. If the Spear is taken out, then it’ll become much easier to dismantle the Reaper’s organization. The Queen is usually satisfied with the Earl’s work, but lately she has been… how do you put this lightly… disappointed… in his reports and findings. The Spear is a fucking ghost, and Earl Phantomhive has been doing his damndest to find out who the hell the Spear is - if it’s even a person. But apparently he’s been ‘slacking,’ as Mr. Landers - the Queen’s royal butler - said. 

 

“The Queen sent you out to find the identity of the Spear a long time ago, Ciel,” Mr. Landers had said. “She’s not very happy with your constant setbacks and excuses.”

 

“I am doing all that I can, Ash,” the Earl had hissed. “I will find the Spear and the Queen will no longer have to worry.”

 

“Okay.” Ash shrugs. “But for your own sake, I hope you find them soon. The Midford’s have been showing more success than you, and marrying their heir won’t save your name, Phantomhive. You’ll be replaced if you can’t live up to her majesty’s expectations.”

 

“Just go,” he muttered, rubbing the balls of his hands into his eyes, praying to some deity for help. This has been a goddamn nightmare.

 

Now, while fighting the Reapers themselves and hearing them shout commands from ‘the Spear,’ he is still no closer to finding them. Another crate explodes - what is it with these Reapers and unnecessary violence? - and the Earl is struck with a rather clever idea. The Reapers are not blind in the dark - due to their night vision gear - but in the light they’ll be blinded instantly. The Earl chuckles at the symbolism, playing with the idea of demons in his mind and how the grace of God will banish their impurities. If his men can create a large enough light for just long enough, they can slip away and prepare for the next attack. There has been enough casualties today. 

 

“Red, come in, Red. This is Guard,” he yells into his comm.

 

“I read you, Guard,” comm crackles into his ear, and he smiles in thanks. He’s glad she’s alive.

 

“Reapers can’t see in the light, so I need you to bring the sun in,” he responds, and he can practically hear the gears moving in her mind.

 

“You gotta stop being so dramatic, Guard. This isn’t English class, you know!”

 

He sighs. “Can you do it?”

 

“Affirmative. Give me five.”

 

He nods and fires again. The Reapers are getting closer, so he prays that five minutes will be enough. Who he prays to is another story entirely. 

 

True to her word, Red rigs the lighting system to finally work again and floods the entire warehouse with blinding white. The Earl himself is blinded for a moment, but he can hear the screams from the Reapers. Excellent.

 

“Retreat!” He yells into his comm and to the rest of the warehouse and all the living scamper out of there before the Reapers can regain their footing in this battle. The men make their way out and the Earl punches the door of his Jeep in anger. Once again, he’s had to lose to the Reapers - just barely surviving their attacks. 

 

Damn the Reapers.

 

~~~

 

“Ciel!” Elizabeth Midford - the Midford heir to whom Ciel hopes very much he does  _ not _ have to marry - squeals in delight as she throws herself onto a very tired Ciel Phantomhive. 

 

“Hello, Elizabeth,” Ciel mutters and winces a bit in pain. Yesterday he took the longest bath in the history of his long baths, and he’s still sore from the fight with the Reapers. They’re making his life such a hell to be living.

 

Elizabeth pulls back and pouts at Ciel. “I told you to call me Lizzie! We are friends, after all.”

 

Ciel rolls his eyes a bit. “I will call you what I please, and I don’t think calling you by your actual name will do me much harm.”

 

Elizabeth pouts even more and puts her dainty hands on her hips. “Ciel, why have you been so grumpy, lately! All you do is frown and look bored!”

 

_ I’m not bored _ , Ciel wants to say.  _ I’m just fucking done with this ‘Spear’ asshole. _ “It’s nothing. Work has been stressful, that’s all.” Stressful is understating it. 

 

Elizabeth nods and thinks for a moment. “You need to get rid of some stress, Ciel. Otherwise you’ll just crash and burn. You’re too young for this job.”

 

Ciel hisses a bit at her. “I am  _ not _ too young. I have never failed before and I will continue to do well in my position. I’m not some helpless child.” Not anymore, at least.

 

Elizabeth sighs. “You’re barely seventeen, Ciel. You just a year older than the age of consent, and you’re still not an adult.”

 

“An adult would be inflexible for this position and I have never failed, Elizabeth,” Ciel reminds his dear but annoying friend. While he would never admit it, Ciel does need to relax a bit. His brain has practically been fried and his muscles feel like rock under his hands when he bathes. 

 

“You still need to blow some steam…” Elizabeth mutters, but then her eyes light up in maniacal delight and Ciel knows he’s doomed as soon as he catches her gaze. “I’ve got it!” She shouts.

 

Ciel cringes and collapses onto the nearest couch. “No strippers,” he mutters. “Anything but strippers.”

 

Elizabeth opens her mouth and then closes it like a fish.

 

“You were thinking strippers, weren’t you?” Ciel mutters. “I can’t believe you actually think going to a strip club would help me? I have no interest in women with unnaturally large breasts and asses who flirt only for the money.”

 

Elizabeth regains some of that evil light in her eyes. “Not women.”

 

Ciel eyes her carefully. “Don’t you dare.”

 

Elizabeth jumps up and down and giggles evilly. “Oh, I dare, Phantomhive.”

 

Ciel shoots up as fast as his exhausted body will allow him, and he tries grabbing Elizabeth before she runs off and ruins his life, but he is too late. She escapes his clutches and begins running out of the house. 

 

“We are going to get your gay ass laid, Ciel!” She shouts in glee before slamming the door shut.

 

Ciel just stands there, wondering what on earth possessed him when he told Elizabeth he preferred men. Some demon that wanted to ruin his life possessed him, that’s what. Some cruel, cruel demon. Maybe it was some Reaper drug, they do like playing with mushrooms.

 

The next day is Sunday - a day free from the Reapers, since they’re probably some religious assholes who keep the Sabbath holy or some shit - so Ciel has nothing to do but hide in his office doing paperwork. His butler - a saint of a man named Tanaka - brings him hot tea and chocolate cake every once in a while and also makes sure that his Earl is still alive. Ciel’s gotten fifty texts from Elizabeth since this morning, so by now he’s just shut off his phone. He is completely cut off from the rest of the world - only existing to Tanaka, his paperwork, and blessed chocolate cake. He considers himself lucky. 

 

But of course, Elizabeth is a force to be reckoned with when she sets her mind to something, and she has sadly set her mind to taking Ciel to a gay strip club. Why? Ciel has no fucking clue. Apparently it’s ‘good for him’ or something. He scoffs. Who’d imagine strippers would be good for a stressed out seventeen year old Earl?

 

“Ciel!” Elizabeth shouts as she bangs on the door to his locked office. Only Tanaka has the key, but he must have let her into the house when she came charging here. It is only a matter of time before Tanaka lets her into Ciel’s office to terrorize him some more.

 

“Go away, Elizabeth!” Ciel shouts, shoving another bite of cake into his mouth. The cake is made by Tanaka, so it’s damn near perfect, but it still doesn't taste the same as when his mother made it. She would make the cake with passion and fill it up with love, and Ciel is partially grateful no one can replicate her cake. It would only bring back memories that needed to be shut out of his brain.

 

“Ciel! I will get Tanaka to open this door! You cannot escape me! You will either surrender to me on your own terms or have Tanaka capture you and bring you to me as my prisoner!” 

 

_ Goodness gracious, woman _ , Ciel thought.  _ You’re worse than Red, at times. _

 

“I’m coming, you hellhound,” Ciel mutters as he detaches himself from his chair. He wobbles over to the door and unlocks it slowly. But as soon as the last lock clicks open, Elizabeth is bursting into the room and wrapping her arms around Ciel.

 

“Thank you!” She sings sweetly as she leans back to look at her very tired best friend. “Now, we need to make you look pretty before we get you a man to make sweet love to.”

 

“I’m not going to a strip club,” Ciel whines as she grabs his wrist and drags him to his bedroom. His clothes are usually plain and professional, but his best friend is Elizabeth Midford, so he sadly has ‘party clothes.’ Hideous things, really.

 

“Now, we need to make you look as delicious as possible, and you not leaving until you get a hot piece of ass dancing in your lap.” Elizabeth throws open his wardrobe and starts throwing clothes everywhere like they would do in an anime. 

 

“You’ve become rather vulgar, lately. Anything you want to tell me?” Ciel asks nonchalantly as he sits down on the bed and waits for Elizabeth’s attacks. He couldn’t care less about her cussing - he finds it quite funny with how it contrasts her innocent appearance - but he might as well make idle conversation. That’s what friends do, right?

 

She turns around briefly to answer. “Just because I’m a lady does not mean I am ignorant to the ways of gay men like you, Ciel.” She huffs a little and turns back to the wardrobe, humming softly at all the choices she could make. 

 

Ciel groans. “I’m not gay, Elizabeth. I’m-”

 

“Demibisexual, I know, darling.” She grabs the last bits and pieces from the wardrobe and waddles back over to him. “But just calling you gay is so much easier. Now stand up, I have to make you beautiful.”

 

He stands up and holds his arms out at his sides. “Not cute? That’s what you usually attack me with.”

 

She scoffs. “My goal is to get you laid, so cute might not cut it.”

 

“Strippers don’t sleep with clients, Elizabeth. You can’t touch the dancers, I thought you knew this?” 

 

She unbuttons his shirt with a little more force than necessary and stares him down. “I will make you so damn sexy that not even a master stripper will be able to resist you.” Her face holds an expression of utmost pride and determination, and Ciel laughs fondly at his best friend.

 

“Very well then, transform me. I’m too tired to resist at this point.” Ciel sighs in disappointment and slouches a bit. Already he’s tired.

 

Elizabeth squeals in delight and sets to work; her small but skilled hands fluttering all over Ciel and painting her masterpiece. Elizabeth - as said before - is a mighty force to be reckoned with, and Ciel knows this intimately. He’ll go along with her silly plans, and who knows? Maybe it’ll do him some good to go and judge broke college students dancing for old men.

 

~~~

 

“Bassy!” 

 

No reply. 

 

“Bassyyyyyyy!”

 

Once again, no reply.

 

“Sebastian Michaelis!!!” 

 

“I’m coming, you old man!” Sebastian huffs out as he thuds down the stairs to the dressing room shared with all of the other strippers. 

 

Grell sighs and puts his hands on his hips. “One  _ never _ discusses a woman’s age, Bassy! You know better than this, even if you do dance primarily for men.”

 

Sebastian rolls his eyes. “You’re not a woman and I don’t care.”

 

Grell huffs and stalks over to Sebastian, lipstick branded. “You look horrible, Bassy dear. I need you prettied up in twenty, do you understand? You’re are big show tonight, and I have a reservation set up for you.”

 

Sebastian swats away Grell’s wandering hands and walks over to the mirrors and shelves containing all of the makeup. “How long?” He asks nonchalantly.

 

“One hour.”

 

Sebastian turns to Grell in a bit of shock. “One hour? How rich are these people - or is it just some kid who’s saved money for a decade to get the lap dance of his life?”

 

Grell swats Sebastian’s messy head and starts applying makeup to his rather perfect face. “It’s some business guy, Phantomhive, I think. I haven’t heard from him in a while, and I think he’s married or something.”

 

“So he’s a secret gay who wants to ogle at young men.” Sebastian sighs. “That’s just lovely.”

 

“Don’t talk about your customers that way, Bassy. I’ve heard he’s a powerful but good man, so I don’t think you need to worry about anything happening.” Grell caresses Sebastian’s cheek and rubs on the rest of the foundation. 

 

“I’m not worried,” Sebastian says, sitting down so Grell can have better access to his face. “You know I can handle myself.”

 

Grell chuckles. “In and out of the sheets, honey.”

 

Sebastian scoffs and rolls his eyes as Grell continues to apply the usual makeup. His cheekbones and eyes are usually focussed on, but Grell is also applying some sparkle to his collarbones and torso. Today he’s the big show, so he has to be flawless. Of course, Sebastian is almost nearly flawless anyways, so he’s not too worried about anything. He has good control over himself and his customers, and Grell - while being quite the odd soul - takes care of his employees. 

 

“What was the man’s name, again?” Sebastian murmurs. “The main customer.”

 

“Phantomhive, I think, but I’ll have to check for his first name. It might be the guy my old friend knew, or his son. I’m not sure.” Grell purses his lips and makes a thinking face. “I know he’s pretty, no matter which part of the Phantomhive family he is. They’re all beautiful.”

 

“Even more beautiful than me?” Sebastian winks and Grell has to focus all his willpower on not getting a nosebleed. This man is too damn beautiful.

 

“Of course not, Bassy. I don’t know a soul more gorgeous than you,” Grell mutters and kisses Sebastian chastly on the lips. “All right, I’m done. Go get changed and don’t dawdle, you hear? I need tonight to be perfect.”

 

Sebastian rolls his eyes. “Yes, boss.” He jogs back up to his private room and throws on his outfit. A black suit that’s see through in some areas and black leather gloves. He’ll go on stage looking professional and out of place in a strip club, but the main show will be him dancing and taking off the suit - one piece at a time - until he’s left in nothing but booty shorts and high heeled leather boots. They’re classic stripper boots. 

 

Once he’s done putting on everything but the boots - he’ll put that on later, they’re too painful to wear when he’s not on stage - he pops open his computer and types in a name.

 

_ Phantomhive. _

 

The first result is an article with a picture of a burning mansion.

 

_ What do we have here? _

 

~~~

 

The music is booming when Ciel and Elizabeth arrive at the club. He sees men - and women - dancing up on stage and around lucky guests, and the image is vulgar. He’s dressed in a blue suit - but this isn’t any blue suit. It’s not plain and professional. Little jewels adorn his lapel and the jacket and pants are a little tighter than they should be on certain areas - like his ass and waist. He’s got a black shirt on underneath and his shoes are dark shade of blue with jewels adorning the heel. He looks like he belongs in some futuristic world, but he won't deny the truth Elizabeth has been shoving in his face ever since he put the damn thing on - he looks sexy. And not in the stripper or footballer way - in the professional and aloof way. He looks like he’s not worth anyone’s time and that he’s just some god walking among them. He likes the feeling.

 

“You ready, Ciel?!” Elizabeth laughs as she clutches his left arm. “You’re about to get the best lay of your life!”

 

Ciel groans. “You can’t sleep with strippers, Elizabeth. You know this and I’ve told you this a million times.”

 

She giggles. “But you look too irresistible, so the lucky guy will  _ have  _ to sleep with you.”

 

Ciel rolls his eyes at her fanatics and guides her over to the bar, looking for a light drink that might give him a little buzz. He is underage, but Elizabeth is nineteen, so she can buy them. It’s the only time her age is useful to Ciel, the rest of the time it’s just condescending and embarrassing. He hates feeling like a child. 

 

Elizabeth orders two posh looking drinks and hands one over to Ciel. He mutters a thanks, turning away to take a look at the stage. He brings the glass to his lips and is about to take a little sip at whatever it is Elizabeth bought, but then his entire body freezes. There, on the stage, is the fucking devil himself. 

 

The dancers all giggle a little and part to either side of the stage, and at the very back, steps forward the most beautiful man Ciel has ever seen in his life. He’s wearing a suit - a goddamn  _ suit _ \- and everything the man has on him is red or black. His hair is black as night and brushing over his mischievous eyes, and the suit itself is black. His shirt underneath is scarlet and glittering gently in the stage lights, and the make up on his cheeks reflects the color of rich blood. He saunters onto the stage not the way a normal stripper would, but like he’s above them. Arrogance radiates off him and Ciel is drawn to the power he seems to reek. He walks forward to the front of the stage, grabs hold of the main pole with one gloved hand, and then he dances.

 

At that moment, Ciel nearly drops his drink. No man should have the right to be that flexible and move like sin itself. His hips… dear lord Ciel nearly forgot about his thing for hips. His body doesn’t move to the music, it creates its own music and Ciel is slowly realizing that the song this man is weaving is a siren’s song, luring Ciel in. This man has the elegance of neither man nor woman, and he’s so fucking beautiful Ciel is about to cry.

 

“I knew this would work.” Elizabeth’s words break Ciel out of his trance and he looks back at her in mild confusion.

 

“Grell told me a lot about Sebastian up there, and he sounded and looks like your type of man.” Elizabeth grins. “I booked him for one hour.”

 

Ciel has to remind himself that he is the Earl of a very old and very noble family and that he cannot let his jaw drop like some foolish guppy fish. “What.”

 

Good job, Ciel. So eloquent.

 

“After his fancy little dance, you’re gonna meet him in room five,” she says and hands him a keycard. “The rules are no touching, but Grell said that Sebastian can take care of himself and that as long as there is consent, you guys can do whatever the diddly do you want.”

 

Ciel just stares at the card. 

 

“Well?” Elizabeth waves the card a bit. “Take it!” 

 

Numbly, Ciel takes it from her and stares at the little card in his hands. 

 

“It’s room five and Bard over there -” she points to a beefy blonde bouncer near the back of the room. “- can show you where it is.”

 

Ciel has nothing to say and lets his eyes flick back to stage. The man, this Sebastian, is dancing like the devil taught him, and Ciel is nearly thrown back into the siren song. He shakes his head and inwardly curses. He is the Earl Phantomhive and not some stupid teenage boy ogling men for the first time! He’s had lovers and he knows exactly how flirting and sex works; he’s not ignorant. 

 

“Oh, and Ciel?” Elizabeth taps on his shoulder like a little mouse. “Don’t act like the hopeless virgin you are.”

 

Ciel blushes a bright shade of red and whacks Elizabeth’s arm. “Then stop forcing me into sex with men I don’t even know!”

 

She rolls her eyes. “You don’t have to have sex, you can just talk for all I care, but you need to blow off some steam. You’ve been looking too stressed and in pain, lately.” She smiles kindly. “Just let go a little and have some fun.”

 

Ciel turns away and pouts. Phantomhive Earl’s do not have  _ fun _ , they don’t have time. They’re simply the Queen’s Guard Dogand nothing more. The queen of the chess set. Deadly but disposable. 

 

Sighing, Ciel bids Elizabeth goodbye and walks over to the man she called ‘Bard.’ Bard’s eyes light up when he sees Ciel, and he leads Ciel to room five with a smile on his face.

 

“I gotta warn you, Mr. Phantomhive. Sebastian can be a bit of a handful for his customers,” Bard tells Ciel.

 

Ciel rolls his eyes. “I think I can handle a stripper, no matter how beautiful.” The last it slips out and Ciel’s eyes bulge in regret.  _ Dammit dammit dammit don’t think about that sexy beast who’s about to dance personally for you.  _

 

Bard laughs. “Although, I’ve got a feeling that you’ll like Sebastian very much. You seem like the type of guy he’d go after.”

 

“I’m just a customer,” Ciel mutters. 

 

Bard rolls his eyes and opens the door for Ciel. “Fine. But Sebastian is not just a stripper.”

 

And with that, Ciel is in the room, alone, and he’s about ready to die then and there.

 

~~~

 

“Mr. Phantomhive?” The voice floats in from the door and Ciel nearly dies from a heart attack.

 

“Co-coming,” he stutters out and slaps himself in a weak attempt to regain his control. He walks to the door and swings it open, putting on his best business face. 

 

Standing before him is Sebastian.

 

“You’re really fucking tall,” is the first thing that escapes Ciel’s lips.

 

Sebastian chuckles and eyes Ciel. “I would say you’re rather short and young.”

 

Ciel steps aside and lets Sebastian enter. “Does it matter?” Ciel mutters.

 

Sebastian turns to Ciel, and Ciel notes how professional he looks with the suit on. He doesn’t look like a stripper right now; he looks like a businessman. 

 

“Yes, it does matter. Because I’ll have to ask you to leave if you’re below the age of consent.”

 

Ciel scoffs and plops down on the old couch in the room. “I’m older than the age of consent, so no need to worry about corrupting innocent eyes.”

 

Sebastian chuckles and looms over Ciel. “Age doesn’t dictate innocence, Mr. Phantomhive.”

 

Ciel shivers from the silky voice that emanates from Sebastian’s throat. This man will be the death of him and Ciel will die a happy death. “True. But trust me, my eyes are not innocent.”

 

“Then perhaps your body is?” Sebastian ponders, and he places his gloved hands on either sides of Ciel’s shoulders. “You do look rather nervous.”

 

“Anyone would be nervous with your big ass body looming over them,” Ciel shoots back. The touch sends fire down Ciel’s body, and he shudders a bit. Since when was the last time anyone touched him? Touched him in any matter? 

 

Sebastian smirks and kneels over Ciel’s small body. “It’s not my fault I’ve been blessed with a tall figure.”

 

Ciel scoffs and tries very hard not to focus on Sebastian’s gorgeous collarbone and neck. “Big ass tree,” he mutters, crossing his arms and shrinking into the couch. 

 

Sebastian leans back and tilts Ciel’s chin up with a single slim finger. It kind tickles Ciel’s skin, and he does his best not to cringe away. This touch doesn’t send discomfort down Ciel’s spine, it sends pleasure, and Ciel doesn’t want it to end. “What do you want from me tonight, Mr. Phantomhive? You have one hour to live out your fantasies.”

 

Ciel just stares. “I don’t know,” he admits quietly. “I’ve never… I’ve never been in a situation like this.”

 

Something in Sebastian’s expression softens. “Never had a stripper dance for you, hm?”

 

Ciel shoots Sebastian a glowering look. “I’ve been far too busy to indulge in such vulgar pleasures.”

 

Sebastian chuckles and gets off the couch entirely. “So your innocent little soul has no idea what it wants?”

 

Ciel gives Sebastian a bitch face and is tempted to flip him off. “I’m not innocent.”

 

Sebastian shrugs lightly and Ciel finds himself salivating at the movement of those beautiful shoulders.  _ Get it together, Phantomhive, _ Ciel thinks to himself.  _ He is a stripper and nothing more.  _

 

“Fine, whatever you say,  _ my lord _ .” The word sends shivers down Ciel’s back and he prays this isn’t some other weird ass kink he has. “I’ll simply have to discover what you like.” Sebastian begins undoing the top buttons of his shirt and then slinks onto the pole. 

 

_ Goddamn. _ Ciel thinks.  _ Who the fuck has the right to be this damn beautiful? _

 

Sebastian smirks, seeing Ciel’s positive response, and continues dancing on the pole. Sebastian is lean and slender and strong, so the pole is the perfect dance floor for him. The floats around it like some god, and items of clothing slowly fall off his body and Ciel is just sitting there like a dumb man with a baby boner. Eventually, Sebastian is in nothing but leather booty shorts - a small thing that hug his strong ass beautifully - and knee length hooker boots. Ciel almost laughs when he sees Sebastian’s choice of footwear, and Sebastian catches it.

 

“Are you laughing?” He asks. No one has ever laughed at Sebastian when he’s dancing. Not like this; not like they’ve just heard a good joke.

 

Ciel smirks and stares into Sebastian’s eyes. “Sorry. The boots just kinda did it for me.”

 

Sebastian raises an elegant brow and slinks off the pole and towards Ciel. “You don’t like them?” He asks, mocking a pout.

 

Ciel shakes his head. “Don’t get me wrong, I think you look fucking divine in them, but it’s just humorous.”

 

Sebastian sinks into Ciel’s lap again and rocks a bit into his hips. “How so?”

 

Ciel has to concentrate for a few moments on  _ not popping a boner and how to bloody speak  _ but he then responds, “It’s something hopeless women would wear to lure in old perverted men.” Ciel looks into Sebastian’s eyes and is surprised to find the maroon swirling around his pupils.

 

“And I am not hopeless woman,” Sebastian confirms.

 

“No, you’re not,” Ciel says. “You’re a big ass tree who happens to be sexy enough to pull the look off.” A big ass tree who’s sitting in his lap and if Ciel thought the touches from before were something, now it’s fucking something.  _ Is this what pleasure feels like? _

 

Sebastian pouts a little and rocks again into Ciel’s little boner.  _ Dear lord on high…  _ “I feel like I should be offended,” he whispers into Ciel’s ear, sending more shivers down Ciel’s poor spine.

 

“Take it as you’d like,” Ciel chokes out. “I thought we couldn’t touch each other.”

 

Sebastian kisses Ciel’s jaw softly. Ciel shudders violently a the action, and he does his best to not whine into the touch. “I am the highest ranking dancer here, and I’m more than that. I trust you to not do anything harmful to me, and I wouldn’t risk displeasing a customer. We can touch each other.”

 

“Strippers have ranks?” Ciel gasps out as Sebastian begins kissing down Ciel’s neck.  _ To be touched at all is already frightening, but this? Being touched like this is hellfire.  _ Ciel whines quietly at the feeling and he curses himself for being such a little virgin.  _ It’s just simple skin on skin… it shouldn’t excite me like this…  _

 

“Sort of. We go by experience, but I thought that calling myself a senior dancer would make me sound old,” Sebastian murmurs into Ciel’s skin, air from his mouth caressing the pale flesh and sending fireworks into Ciel’s mind. 

 

Ciel scoffs with as much pride as he can muster at the moment. “How old are you, anyways?”

 

Sebastian kisses a little more forcefully at Ciel’s skin. “Never discuss a lady’s age, little Phantomhive.”

 

“You’re not a lady,” Ciel gasps. “Those booty shorts hide nothing and I’m pretty sure I saw the outline of your manhood.” How can he still manage to talk back when this damn man is touching him like this? No one… no one’s ever done this to him… 

 

Sebastian chuckles, and the action sends vibrations all through Ciel’s small body. “True. But you need to learn some manners.”

 

Ciel gingerly touches Sebastian’s hips and Sebastian leans back to look into Ciel’s eyes. Both of their pupils are blown and Ciel wonders how the hell did he get such a beautiful man into his lap. He’s not even that heavy on Ciel, but he can still feel the warmth pressing into Ciel’s body and the weight of his touch. 

 

“Do you want to kiss me?” Sebastian rasps. “I would let you.”

 

Ciel looks at Sebastian’s lips and blushes profusely. “Yes,” he whispers, his voice barely making a sound. He wants more of Sebastian’s touches… his hands… his hips… and most definitely those lips. 

 

Sebastian grins and presses his forehead to Ciel’s. “Then kiss me.”

 

Ciel looks up to Sebastian in some sort of wonder and then back down to his lips. “I… I’ve never…”

 

Sebastian cradles Ciel’s face and looks into his eyes as if they hold the answers to life. “You’ve never kissed someone?”

 

Ciel blushes even harder and shakes his head. “Not like this.”

 

Sebastian cocks his head a bit. “You’re going to have to be a bit less vague, Ciel.”

 

Ciel looks down and is tempted to just ask for a sexy cuddle and nothing more. Is there such a thing as a sexy cuddle? Surely there must be. “I’ve never kissed someone I’ve wanted to kiss.”

 

Sebastian’s expression softens into something so  _ loving _ that Ciel momentarily forgets that he’s being straddled by a stripper. “Then I won’t take that kiss from you.”

 

Ciel looks at Sebastian with confusion and a bit of wonder. 

 

“However,” Sebastian continues. “I am making you cum in your pants like the teenage boy you are. You look like you could use some release.” He emphasizes his point with another roll of his hips and Ciel has to clamp a hand over his mouth to stop the little moan from escaping.

 

“Don’t hide,” Sebastian murmurs. “You came here for pleasure, so I’m going to give it to you.” 

 

Ciel can only nod and whine a little into Sebastian, and it doesn’t take long for Ciel to gasp and then shudder and then come in his pants like some fucking teenager. Well, he is a teenager… but still.

 

“Fuck,” Ciel pants out, and Sebastian moans a little in agreement. He’s never… he’s never been touched like this. He’s been touched in lewd and awful ways before, but this? This is only pleasure and this is nothing compared to the real deal. Ciel scoffs sadly. To never be touched and to come undone so easily… 

 

Sebastian doesn’t stop rocking into Ciel, however, and so Ciel’s mind stays afloat in the little heaven of this sin, and soon Sebastian is spasming and them coming.

 

“Fuck, indeed,” Sebastian mutters and a Ciel has to laugh a little. 

 

“Is our hour up?” Ciel asks, glancing at his watch. He doesn’t want it to be over… not yet… 

 

Sebastian looks at the little clock on the small table and shakes his head. “We have about ten minutes. I’ll get you some spare pants.” Sebastian and then stands up and walks over to a small cabinet in the corner and pulls out some boxers. “These should fit you.” He hands them to Ciel. “No need to pay, you’ve already paid enough.”

 

Ciel takes the pants and looks at Sebastian suspiciously. “These are exactly my size.”

 

Sebastian shrugs. “Accidents happen a lot to our customers - in the ejaculation sense - and we’re prepared.”

 

Ciel still looks at the boxers oddly. “Sure.”

 

Sebastian rolls his eyes and shoots Ciel a flirty look. “I told you, I’m more than just some stripper.”

 

Ciel grumbles some unintelligible words and goes into the bathroom - do all stripclubs have bathrooms in the private rooms? - and changes quickly. He comes back out with his soiled boxers in the trash bin - he’s rich enough to spare a few boxers - and looks at Sebastian shyly. 

 

_ You literally just came in your pants because of this man and now you’re acting shy?  _

 

Ciel shakes his head and walks over to Sebastian.

 

“Thank you, I guess. For my first experience with a stripper, it wasn’t bad.” Ciel has no idea what he should be saying to a stripper, but he feels like he has to say something. Something to the man who’s… who’s given Ciel such bliss. 

 

Sebastian shrugs. “Sure. I made you come in your pants like a little thirteen year old and I didnt do bad. Sorry I’d didn’t meet your expectations, my lord.”

 

Ciel glares at the man and shoves at him lightly. “Piss off.”

 

Sebastian laughs. “I know what you meant, Ciel, and I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”

 

Ciel blushes and hears the tell tale knock on the door. “Mr Phantomhive? Your hour is up.” 

 

“Coming,” Ciel mutters, and he leaves the room with one last glance at Sebastian. Sebastian waves a tiny bit, and Ciel finds himself waving back. He rushes out of the rooms to find Elizabeth - who’s chatting with the bartender and looking not drunk at all - and he drags her to the car so they go home and rest.

 

The bath is comforting at always, and he feels little more relaxed than usual. Well, his body feels content. But his mind? His mind is racing and going over every single detail about Sebastian and he’s wondering why the hell that man is so beautiful.

 

Ciel falls asleep with the image of Sebastian’s lips behind his eyelids. 


	2. One Hell of a Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel learns that Sebastian is not only a stripper...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha! Chapter two! Thank you to all who have read the first chapter, I hope you enjoy the second one!

It’s been four days.

 

And four hours.

 

And seven minutes.

 

And yet, Ciel Phantomhive has not been able to banish the image of Sebastian from his mind. The only thing that goes through his head daily and hourly and at least once every damn minute is Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian. His hips, his lips, his voice, his manners, his eyes… all of it has ensnared Ciel and Ciel is about to kill someone because of it.

 

He shouldn’t be feeling these things. Sebastian is simply a stripper and nothing more. Hell, Sebastian probably isn’t even his real name. He’s someone who dances and seduces for the money and nothing more. He is a stripper and nothing more. 

 

But even the great Earl Phantomhive has to admit that Sebastian is one hell of a stripper. 

 

However, Ciel’s feeling are irrational. There are no feelings, actually, not really. There is simply a physical lust for the man and nothing more. Ciel doesn’t know anything about Sebastian - not his interests, his family, his history, his lovers, his pets, his social status, his age, nothing at all. Ciel should be able to remember the body and the pleasure but nothing more. A wet dream to get off to. Nothing more. Ciel has to remind himself every minute that Sebastian cannot be anything more but a person he finds attractive. He can’t afford to be anything more. Nothing more.

 

The Reapers have been awfully quiet ever since their situation at the warehouse, and Ciel isn’t sure whether or not to be comforted by this. Silence is not the same as peace, and they may be plotting something larger than Ciel can handle. So he works, studying the past cases of the Reapers and calling in contacts about the Spear and working with anyone who knows anything about the Reapers. Some hippies find that the Reapers have a point about western medicine - but most of the hippies also believe that violence is the wrong response.

 

“The Reapers are a dangerous people who have good motives but bad techniques,” the Undertaker - a hippie/junkie who knows a lot about anyone and anything - told Ciel. “One of them alone is probably as harmless as me, but when rallied under someone like the Spear, they’re deadly.”

 

“So the Spear is vital to their organization. If we take them out we take the Reapers out,” Ciel confirmed, but the Undertaker only chuckled.

 

“You could paint it that way, but finding the Spear will not be easy, my lord,” ‘Taker chuckled. “It’s like finding a needle in a silver haystack.”

 

Ciel had stood up angrily and turned to the door, ready to leave for the next informant. “Then I need to find a magnet.”

 

The only problem is, that Ciel has no idea what the magnet is. Something to force the Spear out, but what? He knows  _ nothing _ about them, so he can’t push them out. They’ve help Reaper’s captive before, but none of them we rescued or useful in any way. They just laughed or stared at the interrogators. 

 

And things just got even better when a personal letter from the Queen arrives. Not a message from Ash, not even an official envelope with the proper royal seal. A personal letter. 

 

_ Dear Earl Phantomhive,  _ a letter from the Queen reads. 

 

_ The Reapers have not stopped in their foolish murders and the Spear is nowhere to be found; and do not worry, I don’t blame you for this. I know Ash likes to rile you up by exaggerating my concerns, but you are the best of the best and you still have not found Spear. No one has. I cannot blame you for not doing the impossible.  _

 

_ So, in order to find the Reaper leader, I suggest finding a personal assistant to aid you in your work. You’re young, my dear Ciel, and these matters would be stressful enough for a grown man, such as your late father, so I want you to find someone who can help you. A personal ‘butler,’ if you will. Tanaka is an excellent man, but he is merely a butler. You need to find someone who is everything. I was lost after Albert’s death, and Ash helped me greatly in bearing the heavy burden of the crown. You need someone to help carry the burden of Earl Phantomhive. _

 

_ Kind regards, _

 

_ Victoria _

 

Fuck. 

 

Ciel nearly crumples up the paper and throws it into the bin.

 

He is the Earl Phantomhive and he has never failed, and yet, here he is, suffering greatly because he can’t find one damn person! 

 

“Tanaka!” Ciel shouts, fuming.

 

A few moments later Tanaka appears at the entrance of the office and bows slightly.

 

“Yes, my lord?” He asks softly, and he has no idea what the words do to Ciel.

 

“The Queen is suggesting that I find an assistant. I want you to scour for someone I can stand and that is actually useful, and have a list brought to be by tomorrow evening.” Ciel sighs a little and falls back into his chair. “And could you bring me some cake?”

 

Tanaka chuckles a bit and bows. “Of course, my lord.” He looks back up at Ciel with a little twinkle in his eyes. “My lord, you look quite frustrated. I’m sure the cake will help somewhat, but might I suggest doing whatever it was lady Elizabeth took you to do the other day? I recall that you were much more relaxed and carefree when you returned.”

 

Ciel freezes in his seat and stares a bit worriedly at Tanaka. Did he know? He is a Phantomhive butler, after all. He would know about his master’s activities. “Did I truly seem more relaxed?” Ciel asks nervously, his thoughts slipping back to Sebastian and those sinful hips. Damn those hips.

 

Tanaka nods. “You had the expression of a happy boy and not of a tried man. It was heartwarming to see, my lord.”

 

Well at that note he’ll never go back to the stripclub. “Someone of my position cannot afford to be some child,” Ciel mutters.

 

Tanaka chuckles. “I think you misunderstand, my lord. True, you cannot be  _ some _ child, but you are a Phantomhive. You carry out your duties much more efficiently when you’re happy. I wish to see you happy again, Ciel.”

 

Ciel slouches in his chair and looks to Tanaka angrily. “Bring me the list and the cake. I’ll relax later.”

 

“As you wish, my lord.” Tanaka exits and closes to door softly, and Ciel groans into his hands. What is he going to do? He has work to do - important work, mind you - but there’s no point in doing work when he can’t even go through one report without screaming in frustration. Relaxing could do him some good, and who knows, Sebastian might be good for Ciel. Sebastian… Sebastian… Sebastian.

 

Damn it.

 

Ciel throws himself into the last few records and reports he has to do today and he finishes them within two hours. He’ll need to reread them later and take proper notes, but he needs to relax. Yes, relax. This is like a business deal, he gives Sebastian profit and Sebastian gives him freedom from the pain. Just a business deal.

 

~~~

 

Sebastian is on stage when Ciel arrives at the club. He’s dancing with a new outfit on - not the suit, sadly - and Ciel is entranced again. He stands somewhere off to the side and watches Sebastian carefully, watching how the audience throws money at him like the foolish people they are, and Sebastian winks at the occasional lucky soul in the crowd. He looks somehow classy when he’s up there; he has some sort of elegance you don’t see in normal people anymore. A regalness that sets him apart, and Ciel can tell that the audience at least subconsciously knows this. Sebastian is different, special. He’s caught everyone’s eyes, and everyone is thrown under that cruel siren song he sings so sweetly. But Sebastian is special, more so than the crowd can ever give him credit for. He’s caught someone else’s eye. 

 

Sebastian has caught a Phantomhive eye. 

 

Ciel has a good instinct with people. He knows when they lie to him, and he can usually work out the basis of someone’s desires - whether it be money or fame or lust or power or love. He can tell what drives their souls by looking into their eyes, the one thing that can never lie. Sebastian’s eyes tell Ciel more than he can ever hope to know. There’s greed in there - there is no denying that - but there’s a gentleness and fondness Ciel usually doesn’t see with greed. A loving type of gaze that can ensnare any lonely soul is in Sebastian’s maroon eyes, and Ciel will never willingly admit that those eyes have ensnared his lonely soul. 

 

He’s not lonely. He’s just tired. 

 

Eventually, Sebastian finds Ciel in the crowd and Ciel nearly faints when Sebastian shoots him a flirty wink. His eyes hold lust when they find Ciel’s, and Ciel is mentally taking back everything about a kind Sebastian in his mind. Sebastian is a cruel, cruel siren who only cares about feasting on it’s weak prey. And unfortunately, Ciel happens to be his current prey.

 

_ Damn that demon to hell,  _ Ciel thinks as angrily as he can. Which admirably, is not that angry. Ciel is drawn to Sebastian, to that fire in his eyes, and he would willingly follow than man into hell if he asked. Not out of love, of course, a Phantomhive isn’t capable of such feelings, but most likely lust. Can you blame, Ciel, though? He’s a young boy of seventeen who happened to catch Sebastian’ Michaelis’s eye. Anyone would follow that man into hell.

 

Sebastian does one last twirl around the pole and then he’s slinking off of the stage and to what Ciel assumes to be the dressing rooms. He throws some last minutes kisses to the whooping crowd, and Ciel blushes madly - again - when one of them is thrown at him.  _ Damn that demon.  _ Although, Ciel frowns a little when Sebastian doesn’t come on for a while - instead, some redhead waltzes onstage and switches up the tempo of the music. The redhead looks like a girl and a boy and honestly far too sultry for Ciel’s taste. He wants someone more aloof and majestic. A few minutes pass and Ciel considers just leaving the club and going back to sulk in his bedroom like some stupid teenager, but then there’s someone tapping on his shoulder and he turns to see Sebastian in tights and a loose see-through shirt. 

 

“Sebastian,” Ciel breathes.

 

He chuckles. “Hello, Mr. Phantomhive.”

 

Ciel blushes profusely - again - and looks up at Sebastian with as much courage as he can. “You came to find me.”

 

Sebastian smiles proudly and leans a bit down to Ciel’s height. “I know that you wouldn't come looking for me, so I had to seek you out. I think you’ve drained most of your courage by just showing up again.”

 

Ciel shoves lightly at Sebastian. “Piss off.”

 

Sebastian catches Ciel’s hand and looks at him with sinful intent. “Maybe later, Phantomhive. But I think we both want something else right now.” And with another cheeky wink, Sebastian leads Ciel to one of the personal rooms and Ciel is about ready to faint.

 

Is this what bliss feels like, being dragged along by a beautiful, tall, dark man with eyes of the devil? Bliss, knowing that soon you’ll have those lips on your skin and those hips within your grasp? Bliss, feeling his touch and his hearing his heavy breaths and feeling this pleasure that keeps on building and building until the body just explodes from it?

 

No.

 

_ This is not bliss _ , Ciel thinks.

 

Bliss is the stormy evenings spent in his mother’s arms, sipping hot cocoa and reading a fairy tale. Bliss is late summer spent on horses and with a father. Bliss is everything innocent that Ciel no longer has.

 

What Ciel is feeling now is desire. A darker, deeper feeling that consumes your very flesh and soul, bringing you to the edge between lust and bliss. The hands now roaming Ciel’s small hips are desire. The half lidded eyes gazing at Ciel with a crueler intent are desire. Sebastian is desire, fleshed out to torture Ciel. 

 

But Ciel lives for this torture. 

 

Sebastian dances more for Ciel tonight, and Ciel finds the courage to talk a little more and take control of the demon splayed before him. Sebastian is no easy sub, though, but Ciel relishes in the honest banter that passes between them. The banter makes everything more exciting and worthwhile - especially when the banter leads to hot heavy hands and uttered curses drawn out from pleasure. 

 

“You’re beautiful, you know?” Ciel murmurs when Sebastian once again pleasures Ciel with those damned hips. 

 

“I know,” Sebastian replies nonchalantly, and he gazes at Ciel with mischievous eyes.

 

Ciel slaps his shoulder. “You’re insufferable.”

 

Sebastian can only shrug. “Whatever gets you through the night. Although, I do believe I am what is getting you through whatever troubles you’ve been put through recently.”

 

Ciel raises a brow up at Sebastian. “What makes you accuse such a thing.”

 

“Please don’t misunderstand; I am accusing you of nothing,” Sebastian says honestly, although his eyes are glowing with a glee far from innocent. “I merely noted how tired you look for someone so young.”

 

Ciel huffs. “I’m not some child; I can take a heavier workload than most men.”

 

“I don’t doubt it,” Sebastian murmurs while threading a hand through Ciel’s mused hair. There’s an honesty in his voice that Ciel believes to be as true as his scars. “You’re stronger than anyone I’ve ever seen in a long time, so I’m merely curious and the tad bit concerned about what could be driving you to the ground.”

 

Ciel doesn’t have an answer for a moment - he considers if he should even provide an answer for Sebastian - but he settles on at least admitting some small things. “My workload has been stressful - I will admit that. My employer has suggested that I find an assistant, but I’m not so sure if I should allow it. An assistant will either slow me down or speed things up - but I hate people in general, so I assume they’ll slow me down or just annoy me too much.”

 

Sebastian hums thoughtfully. “What type of work would a seventeen year old like yourself possibly be doing?”

 

Ciel is about to respond when he freezes up a bit. “How did you know I’m seventeen?” Sebastian has never said either or their ages, and neither one of them have ever admitted them. Ciel narrows his eyes a bit in suspicion.

 

Sebastian answers flawlessly, though. “I’m always told the ages of my clients, it’s included in the purchases.”

 

The excuse is believable enough, however… “Well it doesn’t seem fair that you know my age and I don’t know yours.” Ciel smirks at Sebastian. “So, how old are you?”

 

Sebastian raised a brow but relents. “Twenty four.”

 

Ciel nods. “An average age for a stripper, I assume.”

 

Sebastian scoffs, the sound is arrogant and annoyingly beautiful to Ciel. “You assume. Just how much experience do you have with my kind?”

 

It’s Ciel’s turn to scoff. “You were my first stripper experience, Sebastian. You’re also my second.”

 

Sebastian cocks his head and smiles. “You sound so soft and caring when you say that.”

 

“Shut up!” Ciel exclaims, smacking Sebastian’s shoulder yet again, but Sebastian only chuckles.

 

“You seem to enjoy inflicting pain, Phantomhive. Do you have some kink I should know about?” Sebastian drawls and presses into Ciel’s spent body with a seductive smile.

 

“I will be telling you nothing about any kinks,” Ciel hisses. 

 

“You sure?” Sebastian whispers into Ciel’s ear, sending shivers down his back. “I am an exotic dancer, after all. I should be the one person who knows these things about you.”

 

“You’re a stranger,” Ciel says, and he he realizes the depths of the words. “You know nothing about me, and I know nothing about you. You’re real name probably isn’t even Sebastian.”

 

Sebastian pauses for a moment and then rolls of Ciel’s body to sit next to him instead. Their bodies are still touching and spreading warmth throughout Ciel, but Sebastian’s position seems much more comforting than seductive now. “If it means anything,” Sebastian begins with a low whisper. “It is my real name.”

 

Ciel looks up to Sebastian to meet his gentle gaze. “You’re real name is Sebastian?”

 

Sebastian nods. “Sebastian Michaelis.”

 

Ciel looks down, blushing softly for some reason. “You didn’t have to tell me your full name.”

 

“I didn’t,” Sebastian says cheekily. “My full name is Sebastian Dean Michaelis.”

 

Ciel just blushes harder, feeling like some schoolgirl. It’s not supposed to feel like this, being with a stripper. The only emotion that should be present in the room is desire. Nothing more. Not fondness, or kindness, or peaceful banter. “You’re one strange stripper.”

 

Sebastian chuckles and tilts Ciel’s chin up. “One hell of a stripper, thank you very much.”

 

They both laugh and all too soon Ciel yawns. 

 

“Tired, my lord?” Sebastian asks quietly.

 

“Piss off. I’ve had some late nights.”

 

“I know.”

 

Ciel grudgingly stands up and then turns to Sebastian with a playful look. “How much do I owe you? For the night?”

 

Sebastian widens his eyes in mock worry for Ciel and then answers, “Two thousand.”

 

Ciel simply nods and then pulls the bills out of his wallet. Last time he paid through credit card, but he’s heard strippers not getting the actual money since their boss steals them. Ciel wants to make sure that his stripper - his lovely Sebastian, who isn’t actually his - to have the chance to get his share. He hands the money over to Sebastian and he widens his eyes a bit at the wad of money in Ciel’s hand.

 

“You’re quite the little Richie Rich,” Sebastian notes as he takes the money, briefly counting them out of habit. 

 

Ciel rolls his eyes. “I’m a special seventeen year old,” he says before walking out of the room and shutting the door quietly behind him.

 

Ciel and Sebastian see each other five more times. 

 

Each time, Ciel promises himself that it’s only because he needs to relax and blow some steam, but each time, Ciel ends up hopelessly falling into Sebastian’s arms and finding all the pleasure his little virgin body can. He’s grown addicted to everything Sebastian has to offer Ciel, and he wonders if this is some sort of teenage infatuation he’s dealing with. In his mind, the one thing commanding it is the image of Sebastian. Not necessarily Sebastian’s face or lips or hips or hair, but just Sebastian in general. The way he moves to the music, the way he rocks into Ciel. Sebastian in general.

 

Ciel chuckles to himself. That’s his little problem at the moment, Sebastian in general. The man has been occupying his mind for far too long and Ciel hasn’t cummed this many times in such a short period of time in his life. At night, before retiring to actually sleep, his hands always work their way down to his weeping erection and he always drowns in the image of Sebastian’s eyes. Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian. 

 

He’s grown infatuated, and he finds it harder to deny everyday. 

 

The assistants Tanaka brings are all useless and just not good enough, and he finds himself thinking about Sebastian when they try to make friendly conversation. Sebastian wouldn’t do that, Sebastian wouldn’t do this. Sebastian would look to Ciel with a much more genuine expression and respond to Ciel’s comments beautifully. Sebastian is perfect.

 

So of course, Ciel dismisses every single assistant who comes his way.

 

There’s only one man he wants, even if his idea is a bit foolish. 

 

_ Next time, I’ll ask him,  _ Ciel thinks.  _ Next time I get to touch him and the next time he can touch me. Next time. _

 

~~~

 

There’s a Reaper attack on a hospital the next day.

 

It’s the wing where they keep the vegetable patients and those being kept alive with machines and drugs - basically, the ones who shouldn’t be alive had nature been allowed to take its course. The Reapers came in - not with bombs, but with knives to slit their throats and stab their hearts. It’s all done quite professionally, oddly enough, since the Reapers are such god sent people. 

 

Ciel was notified with a serious of angry texts and calls on his work cell phone, and Tanaka drove him to the hospital as quickly as he legally could. (Tanaka is a stickler for the rules, in case you didn’t know) 

 

“Faster, damn it!” Ciel yells at Tanaka, texting furiously on his phone and trying to get a hold of who the hell was actually at the scene of the crime.

 

“There is a speed limit, my lord,” Tanaka answers calmly, swerving between cars in a proper and legal fashion. Far too legal for Ciel’s current taste.

 

“Well, there are people  _ dying _ , Tanaka! I need you to get me there as soon as possible!” Ciel yells and answers a call on his phone.

 

“Talk to me, Red!” Ciel says into the phone.

 

“They’re here, Guard, and they’re still here. They’re wearing black masks and shit but they’re still not done. We’re attempting to either create a blockade and save the people or at least capture the Reapers. What do we prioritize?” Red’s voice is calm and collected, but she’s alert.

 

“At the moment, the people. But if it seems like a lost cause, do anything and everything to capture them,” Ciel answers, sighing in a bit of relief when the hospital comes into view. “I’ll be there in five.”

 

“Sir, yes, sir,” Red says before hanging up.

 

Ciel rushes out of the car before Tanaka has even parked in front of the hospital, and he rushes in with his gun out. He’s wearing his combat uniform, but his face is uncovered. He mentally reminds himself to tell Lau to erase all evidence from the cameras and send copies to him and his lackeys, or, the Queen’s lackeys. Same difference.

 

As he runs up the stairs, he begins pacing his movements and trying to fall into a comfortable breathing rhythm. The hospital is familiar to Ciel - he’s been here too many times for two patients - and the cruelest part of it is that he knows every tile and scratch and peeling piece of paint in this path. He knows where the floor would dip down a little; where the third light flickered every three to five seconds in the hallway; where he collapsed when he was trying to reach them. He knows every step. 

 

But of course, this only aids him in his current goal, and he shakes off the feeling of painful memories. 

 

_ I am the Earl Phantomhive and I am not some weak child. _

 

He arrives at the entrance to the wings where the Reapers are attacking, and thee stands Red with her gear and gun out.

 

“Guard dog,” she says.

 

“Madam Red,” he replies. “Why the hell are we not in there apprehending the bastards?”

 

She sighs a little and points to the door. “It’s locked, and there’s patient beds stacked against them.”

 

Ciel freezes. “They used the patients against us?”

 

Red nods. “They don’t care if they die - hell, the want it - and they know we try to protect innocents. Kicking the door down isn’t happening, and now blowing the thing off its hinges is another option gone.”

 

“Why aren’t we using the other entrance?” Ciel demands.

 

“Other entrance?” Red asks, looking at Ciel carefully. “I wasn’t aware that there was another entrance.

 

Ciel huffs angrily and stalks off to the window. “Yes. Another entrance.” He unlocks the window and throws it open. He peeks his head out and looks at the ledge on the walls of the building. It’s a forty feet drop, but it’s definitely possible.

 

“You can’t possibly mean scaling the sides of this building,” Red says, walking over to Ciel and pulling him back. “It’s too dangerous and it’ll take to long.”

 

Ciel scoffs. “Nonsense. If a twelve year old can scale the wall in the rain while emotionally unstable, I’m sure a perfectly capable soldier such as yourself can do the same.” He looks to her with a smirk. “The Reaper’s will not play by the rules, so neither will I.”

 

Red sighs and nods. “I have some gear, but not enough for everyone.”

 

Ciel nods. “We don’t need everyone. Two will go in and move the patients and unlock the doors. The rest will go in that way.”

 

“Yes, sir.” Red marches off and grabs the gear while talking into her comm, explaining the situation. Ciel can almost imagine the look of shock spreading through his soldiers, but he knows they’ll follow him. They always follow him. It’s one of the few things in life he can count on. 

 

Red returns with some ropes on her hips and in her hands, and before she can hand some to Ciel, he’s already halfway out the window and trying to find the ledge with his feet.

 

“Ciel!” Red shouts in surprise and rushes forward to grab his hands, and Ciel stares at her with disappointment.

 

“As much as I hate the nickname, I’m Guard dog, so please refrain from using my actual name,” Ciel mutters, prying her hands away. “I don’t need the gear. It’ll only get in my way.”

 

Red sputters angrily, but then sighs in angry disappointment. “Yes, sir.”

 

Ciel smirks and starts moving from the window and along the wall. “Shall we?”

 

Red nods, and peeks out of the window. “If I fall I want a raise.”

 

“Quit dawdling, we have people to save,” Ciel snaps.

 

He makes it across the wall to the next window with ease and places a small bomb on the window when he realizes it’s closed and therefore unable to be opened from the outside. He shuffles back a bit and calls out to Red.

 

“I’ve set a bomb, so once it goes off we have to be quick. Get your weapon ready,” Ciel says.

 

Red nods. 

 

Once Ciel is satisfied with the distance between him and the bomb, he pushed the detonator and winces at the explosion. It’s not big - just big enough to blow the lock - but it makes a good amount of noise. Immediately, Ciel throws himself at the window and clambers inside. He nearly misses the window, so he’s slammed himself into the small gap in the window and his rib cage momentarily hates him. Groaning, he pulls himself inside and points his weapon at anything in the room. It’s a patient’s bedroom, but it’s empty.  _ Thank god,  _ Ciel thinks. Red clambers in a bit after him, but she lands on the floor with an ungrateful thud.

 

“Quiet!” Ciel hisses as he gets onto his feet and begins prowling towards the door. His boots make no sound against the tile floor, and he hears not voices on the other side of the door. Gently, he opens the door and thanks every deity out there when it doesn’t creak. The door of his parent’s room always creaked, so he could never sneak in. This one doesn’t. A small blessing. He immediately slinks out of the room and down the hall to the door. There are three patients in their beds pressed against the door, and all of them are sleeping and look unharmed. 

 

_ Cover me _ , Ciel signs to Red and she nods and turns with her gun pointed down the hall. 

 

As quietly as he possibly can, he wheels the patients into the room he came through and checks their vitals. The patients at the door don’t seem to be relying on too many machines and medicines, although they are very clearly in a bad state. There’s one girl who has cuts all over her arms and legs, along with bruises around her neck in the eerie shape of fingers. Ciel presses a hand against her frail wrist and pities her for a moment. He pities what she’s gone through, but a small smiles spreads across his face when he remembers that she’s still alive and fighting. People can come back from painful things such as these.

 

Once the patients are secured, he throws open the doors and his soldiers flow past him and into the wing. Red silently commands them into the rooms and soon enough, the gunshots sound. Ciel just stands there for a moment, his back to the wing, and relishes in the difference in situations when compared to the last time he was here. He was a small frail boy who couldn’t do anything but cling to dead people, but now? Ciel chuckles. Now he is the Earl Phantomhive and a man of strength. He’s not weak anymore.

 

He pivots and marches into the wing, drawing his small but deadly weapon. The Reapers will pay. 

 

~~~

 

“Michaelis, there’s been another attack.”

 

“Where?”

 

“Saint Mary’s.”

 

“They’re attacking the veggies?”

 

“... please refrain from calling them that, sir.”

 

Sebastian sighs. “But I’m right, aren’t I?”

 

Claude sighs. “Yes, you are. As per usual.”

 

Sebastian chuckles. “I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

 

“Good.”

 

Sebastian clicks the phone off and runs down the stairs elegantly. He throws on his uniform on the way out - a ghastly black thing that he hates a bit - and clambers into his car. It’s a Chevy Impala 1967, and Sebastian thinks it suits him. He loves the way it purrs under his hands and the old fashioned elegance it carries. As he drives, he puts on his comms and reconnects with Claude.

 

“How soon will you be here? The Guard Dogis arriving in five, and you better not be late.”

 

Sebastian chuckles as he pulls into the highway. “Legally? Or no?”

 

“Legally, preferably, but considering the danger the Reapers are, I wouldn’t complain if you speeded a bit.”

 

“You sound so dull, Claude dear,” Sebastian drawls, putting his foot a little heavier on the pedal. The car responds beautifully and he brushes past the dull cars of ‘today’ on his way to the hospital. “And does it really matter if I show up after the guard dog? It’s not like anyone but Red has seen him, or talks to him for that manner.”

 

“She’ll be the one to kill us, Michaelis.”

 

Sebastian shrugs. “Touché.”

 

He arrives at the hospital in four minutes and sprints his way to the wing. Red glares at him for arriving late, but she ignores him when the Guard Dog calls her in. He rushes a little to Claude’s side and grins sheepishly before putting on his helmet. 

 

“You’re nearly late.”

 

“Nearly being the key term, my friend.” Sebastian fastens his wrist bands and makes sure all of his blades are accounted for.

 

“We are not friends.”

 

“Sure sure, Arachne, keep telling yourself that.” Sebastian shoves Claude’s shoulder lightly before asking, “Where has Red stationed us?”

 

“She wants us to find another entrance point,” Claude responds with a sigh. “I don’t understand why we must always try to be creative if we’re never going to get credit for it.”

 

“Only her and the guard dog have any status, Arachne,” Sebastian notes. “We’re merely puppets for them to manipulate.”

 

“We’re more than puppets,” Claude murmurs. 

 

Sebastian offers him a shrug and begins walking to the window. “Another entrance, you say?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Sebastian grins under his helmet visor. “Then follow me, Arachne.”

 

Claude follows silently. Sebastian opens up the window and throws Claude a cheeky grin he can’t actually see before climbing out.

 

“You’re insane.”

 

“You’re the spider, so come on. We better get in before Red comes back with the dog.” Without another word, Sebastian begins scaling the side of the hospital building and making his way to the next window. Claude grudgingly follows him and they slip into the first open window they can find. Sebastian refuses to let Claude blow one of them open, since they kinda need to be stealthy. Sebastian can imagine the little frown under Claude’s mask. His boyfriend was so cute at times.

 

They climb in and roll into the room, spotting a few Reapers with their backs turned to them. Sebastian grins and fills them with stun knives. They move into the next room and do the same. The patients they see are dead - pitifully - but Sebastian and Claude pay them no mind. They’re dead already, they’re no point paying them any attention. The dead shouldn’t receive more attention than the living. 

 

They continue silencing rooms of Reapers without being detected, but soon enough gunshots sound from the end of the wing and Sebastian smirks. They’ve finally opened the door, and Sebastian wonders how they did it. Did they move the patients somehow, or did they simply take their risks with a smaller bomb to blow the lock? Who knows?

 

Since their cover is now gone, Sebastian and Claude now release a frenzy of fight against their victims. The Guard Dog has commanded that every Reaper be kept alive as long as possible, so there’s no killing their prey, but they do not hesitate to severely wound them. They’re so foolish, after all, these Reapers. They think they’re doing god’s work and cleansing this corrupted world, but it’s a hopeless case. The world is beyond saving, and Sebastian thinks there’s a beauty in the corruption and chaos. It proves how human the world is, and how it grows. Difference is a treasured thing, and the Reapers have no right to kill just because they disagree with those who are living. 

 

But then again, there is beauty in their chaos.

 

Sebastian and Claude zip through the air, dancing like some morbid pair of ballerinas, and their knives miss nothing. It’s odd, their choice in weapons, but no one has dared to go against them once they proved themselves on the battlefield. Sebastian and Claude met when they were children, foolish creatures with a knack for throwing blades. They both entered a contest to see if they could be worthy of joining the circus; Sebastian had done it for his ego and Claude had done it because his little ‘brother’ had dared him to. They both were stunningly excellent, and Sebastian could swear that it was lust at first sight. Claude is not an emotional person - never was, probably never will be - but he won’t deny his feelings for Sebastian, as they both know. They are drawn to each other in such a violent and probably dangerous way, but neither of them have yet suffered for it. Dancing among the Reapers and the blood, Sebastian feels his connection to Claude again. This sick sort of competition that usually resulted in hours of sex. They dance with each other in perfect sinc, and they both have a little smile painted on their lips. 

 

When the more blunt soldiers arrive at their sector, all of the Reapers are on the floor, slowly bleeding out or clutching their Achilles’ tendons and such.

 

“Archangel,” Red calls, and Sebastian stands at attention. “I hope you and Arachne didn’t kill anyone in your morbid games.”

 

Sebastian shakes his head, shooting her a smirk she can’t see. “No, ma’am. Most are suffering and probably desire a death over the evil medicine you have planned for them, but none are dead yet.” His voice is crackled by the voice alteration machine they are all forced to wear - to better hide their identities - but he manages to carry his sarcasm through the changes in his lovely voice.

 

Red nods.

 

“Archangel?” A voice asks - a pure one untouched by the cruel grasps of technology - and a boy steps out from behind Red. “Are you the one Red has been blabbing about to me? Something about a promotion?” The boy turns to Red and gives an arrogant smirk Sebastian would recognize anywhere.

 

“Step forward, Archangel,” Ciel says with the beckoning of his gloved hand. He’s in uniform just like the rest of the men, but he looks so young. His eyepatch doesn’t hide his knowing looks and his stance is that of an adults, but he looks like a little boy playing soldier. 

 

Sebastian steps forward like a ghost. Ciel looks beautiful, even without the party clothes. The uniform is so crude on people, but Ciel wears it flawlessly. His blue eye stares Sebastian down and his perfect little lips curl up into a misleading smile. But as Sebastian steps closer, he sees flaws in his beautiful boy. He’s got shadows under his eyes - even more so than the last time Sebastian saw him - and his eyes are laced with exhaustion. His smile wavers ever so slightly at some moments, and his hair looks like a bird’s nest. 

 

Is this what Ciel has been doing outside of his little games with Sebastian? Fighting cruel murderers and leading men?

 

Ciel reaches out his hand. “I’m the Guard Dog, and it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

 

Sebastian numbly takes it. “The pleasure is mine.”

 

His little boy is the Guard Dog? Little, angry Ciel who had this strange fascination with his hips? 

 

Ciel rolls his eyes. “Take off the helmet, Archangel. I need to meet the real you if you want a promotion.”

 

The real Sebastian? Ciel doesn’t know the real Sebastian. Ciel knows the stripper in Viscount's Ball and he’s heard of the Archangel. But the real Sebastian? Does he really want to know that creature lurking in Sebastian’s mind? Even Claude rarely saw it; Claude is something that makes him happy and helps him banish his demons. 

 

But Ciel is like that too. Ciel makes Sebastian happy. Ciel is something Sebastian cannot get out of his mind. Sebastian has only been with Ciel in pleasure only a few times, but Sebastian feels willing to sell his soul for the boy. He’s such a pure creature that’s been tainted by the world and its death, and Sebastian wants to hold that purity close to his chest and allow no one else to see it. He wants to be the one to corrupt Ciel, the only one. He wants to corrupt Ciel’s mind, his body, his soul, his heart, all of it.

 

Sebastian nods and slowly takes off his helmet.

 

~~~

 

The Archangel and Arachne apparently were sent in earlier to take out as many Reapers before Ciel arrived. Red sent them in, and Ciel has no idea why they couldn’t just have opened the doors for them and spared them some time.

 

But no.

 

Red had to keep it a little secret. 

 

Ciel won’t lie, though. Archangel and Arachne are beautiful when they fight. They have such power radiating from them, and they fight only with knives. The Reapers fall like grass around the pair, and Ciel understands why Red has been telling Ciel to promote at least Archangel. They’re amazing.

 

Eventually, when the fight is finished, Ciel calls Archangel up. He smirks a little, deciding to embarrass him in front of everyone. It wouldn’t do any harm to ask him awkward questions and see him stumble over his words. The Archangel may be a flawless fighter, but he had to have some weakness. Curl silently prays that it’s a verbal weakness because he will have so much fun with that one. 

 

“Take off the helmet, Archangel. I need to meet the real you if you want a promotion,” Ciel says. He wonders how he’ll look, how old he is, and if he dares to look Ciel in the eye. There’s something familiar in the way Archangel moves, and Ciel swears he’s seen this body before. His mind flickers back to Sebastian and his sinful hips, and Ciel blushes instantly. No, he will not think about Sebastian here. Not when he’s at work. He will not have himself popping a baby boner in the middle of a friendly chat between soldiers. Not happening.

 

Archangel pulls off his helmet and shakes his head a little, letting black hair fall out and frame his elegant face. Crimson eyes look back up to meet Ciel’s one eye, and Ciel nearly faints. He catches himself audibly gasping in surprise, and he clamps his mouth shut immediately, his teeth slamming together harshly. 

 

“Mr. Phantomhive,” Sebastian murmurs in that silky tone and he bows slightly. He then has the audacity to look up and wink at Ciel.

 

“Sebastian?” Ciel asks, trying to remain as professional as possible and try not to make it obvious that he’s wondering why the hell is his stripper standing before him in combat uniform. 

 

Sebastian nods. “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance again.” 

 

“You know each other?” Red asks.

 

Ciel turns to her and realizes he’s blushing. Why is he blushing? He can’t blush here! Not now!

 

“We met at a leisure center, enjoying the more lively things of life,” Sebastian answers. “We seemed to hit off quite well and saw each other a few more times.”

 

Ciel nods when Red looks to him questionly. 

 

“And neither of you knew that the other was a part of the Set?” Red asks. The Queen has such lovely nicknames for her pawns, she even acknowledged that with her name for the group of soldiers collectively. The Queen's Chess Set.

 

Ciel and Sebastian shake their heads, and Red nods. “Interesting.”

 

Ciel agreed passionately - in his head. On the outside he’s much more composed, minus the blush. “That's understating it.” 

 

Sebastian chuckles, and Ciel has to do everything in his power not to fall into that lustful trap Sebastian’s voice always lays for him. He’s too damn beautiful for his own good. 

 

“So, Ciel, you said something about a promotion?” 

 

Damn Sebastian’s cheeky grin and eyes. Damn him all.

 

Ciel shuts his eyes and tries to regain control over himself. “Yes, I did. Madam Red has been telling me of your abilities and now that I’ve seen you fight first hand, I do believe you deserve at least a raise.”  _ Keep it calm.  _

 

Sebastian raises a brow. “Surely not just myself? Arachne is also quite skilled in his abilities.”

 

Ciel breathes deeply and nods. “Of course.”

 

Arachne steps forward and also removes his helmet, and Ciel has to curse something for making him so gay. The man next to Sebastian is nearly as beautiful as Sebastian himself, but his eyes are gold and a much colder look occupies them. His hair is pushed out of his forehead and he looks rather annoyed at anything and everything.

 

“And you’re name is…?”

 

“Claude,” Arachne answers. “My name is Claude Faustus.”

 

Ciel shakes his hand and noticed how Claude has positioned himself around Sebastian. It’s nothing major, but Ciel can read people quite well. His stance is almost protective, but possessive is the better word for it. He holds no warmth in his eyes for Ciel, but when he turns to glance at Sebastian he softens his gaze and looks kinder and more loving. Ciel wonders if they’re brothers, they look similar enough.

 

“Are the two of you related?” Ciel asks.

 

Sebastian chuckles and Claude answers firmly. “No. He’s more than a brother to me.”

 

Ciel narrows his eyes at the comment. “Oh?”

 

Sebastian gives Claude a warning glance which Claude then completely ignores. “We’re lovers.”

 

Ciel doesn’t register the words at first.

 

Lovers? Sebastian has a lover? 

 

Ciel shrinks away a bit. Sebastian has every right to do whatever he wants in his free time, no, in his  _ life _ , so Ciel shouldn’t be feeling this. He shouldn’t be choking on jealousy. 

 

But some god takes mercy on Ciel and suddenly Finny runs in - Ciel’s current hopeless assistant - and demands to speak with Ciel. Ciel goes with him willingly, and Finny hands him his personal phone with a million texts from Elizabeth.

 

_ Ciel! This is an emergency! Please!  _

 

_ I need help! _

 

_ Help! _

 

_ Ciel! _

 

_ I don’t know what’s going on, please respond!!! _

 

_ Ciel!!!!!!!!! _

 

Ciel curses and blesses Elizabeth. He turns back to Sebastian and… and his lover and smiles apologetically. “I’m afraid I must leave, there’s a personal emergency I must attend to. Madam Red, I trust that you have control over the situation from here?”

 

Red nods and Ciel nods in goodbye before following Finny out to the car. He slams the door shut behind him and curls up into a little ball in his seat.

 

Just right after he thought he had found a friend in Sebastian… no, that’s not the right word. Friends don’t make each other cum like that. Friends don’t kiss at each other’s throats and murmur filthy and delicious words. 

 

Friends don’t consider the other a lover.

 

Ciel scoffs sadly.

 

As if he could ever have a lover. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave kudos and comments and tell me what you thought about it! Authors live for comments and feedback...
> 
> P.S. if you find any mistakes, please let me know because I “proofread” it but I didn’t really proofread it.


	3. One Hell of a Heartbreaker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTAH THREE BITCHES 
> 
> thank you to all who are reading this!!! I know it’s been a while, but now chapter three is out. I did a whole bunch of editing, but there’s still probably a mistake or two in there, so tell me if you see one.
> 
> e n j o y

“Sebastian?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Sebastian.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Come here.”

 

Sebastian sighs and closes his book. He was just getting to the good part, too. Elio was finally going to make a move on Oliver, the little devil. He gets out of his chair and walks over to Claude, who’s currently sitting on his side of the bed with his hands clasped together in his lap. Sebastian kneels in front of Claude and looks expectantly at him.

 

“Well?” Sebastian asks. Claude has been rather grumpy ever since the Reaper raid, and not just grumpy, but more depressed than usual. He usually has this glint of fire in his eyes, but now they look empty.

 

Claude raises his hand and traces Sebastian’s cheek with the tips of his fingers. “You know the Guard Dog,” Claude says, at it feels like he’s accusing Sebastian of it.

 

Sebastian nods, wondering if his Claude is jealous. It would be a bit funny if he was. “I know him, but I didn’t originally know that he was the Guard Dog.”

 

Claude retracts his hand. “You met him at that strip club, didn’t you?”

 

Sebastian sighs. Claude is definitely jealous, and the only good thing that will come out of this is the mind blowing make up sex. “It’s just a job, Claude,” Sebastian says. Claude has never been supportive of his job, and it’s only gotten worse, recently. At first, it was fine, since they were both college students trying to make some money, but now that they were both perfectly financially stable, he’s been trying to get Sebastian to quit. Sebastian enjoys the club, though. He loves the control he has over the crowd and the way his body moves to the music. The owner is also great - even if Grell is a bit too flirty at times. Sebastian feels comfortable there. He knows, however, that if Claude brings up the club he can bring up the hospital. Claude used to volunteer at the asylum, but now he works there almost everyday he isn’t working for the Set. Every Sunday is spent at that place. Claude would come back late almost every night and Sebastian would be one initiating the angry sex. Tonight is one of the rare nights where Claude initiates it. 

 

Claude surprisingly doesn’t go on a wild argument about the club. “He likes you,” Claude states coldly. “I’m not dumb and neither are you, ‘Bas. He really likes you and he was angry when he found out I’m your lover.”

 

Sebastian mentally sighs in relief. He won’t go on about the club. Thank god. “Can you blame him?” Sebastian smirks a little, regaining his cocky attitude. “I am one hell of a stripper, afterall. It’s not my fault that I’m good at my job.”

 

Claude growls softly. “And you like him.” There it is, Sebastian thinks. This is what he’s mad about. If Ciel was a girl, Claude wouldn’t be mad. Girls are easy to deal with and not in Sebastian’s range of attraction. However, Ciel is a young strapping boy who Claude has to admit is beautiful.

 

“I won’t deny that he intrigues me, but it’s nothing more. You know I only have eyes for you…” Sebastian whispers. They never lie to each other, never have and never will. They met in glorious passion and have stayed together in glorious passion. They are the one constant thing in each other’s lives, the only thing they can depend on. It’s pointless to lie to each other. 

 

“Do you love me?” Claude whispers, brushing back Sebastian’s frustrating but sexy bangs. Sebastian is a bit surprised by the display of emotion - a softer emotion that mirrors love - and is taken back a bit.

 

Sebastian presses little kisses to Claude’s wrist comfortingly. “You know I do.” That isn’t a lie. Sebastian loves Claude. Love in their minds is not the silly thing gossip girls whisper furiously about; love is a choice to dedicate yourself to someone. Sebastian has promised himself to Claude, and Claude has done the same. Sebastian loves Claude.

 

Claude brings up Sebastian’s face and kisses him gently at first. Just lips pressing against lips. But Claude doesn’t kiss him any harder and Sebastian grows a bit impatient. He slips his tongue into Claude’s mouth, deepening the kiss and moans in satisfaction when Claude opens his mouth eagerly. Tongues wrap around each other in some strange language, and it leaves both of them gasping against each other’s mouths in open, sloppy kisses. Sometimes Sebastian hates having to need air. Let him drown in Claude’s kisses. 

 

“Then prove it,” Claude whispers after the kiss is broken. “Love me in every sense of the word.” Claude’s words are thrust into Sebastian’s mouth with a desperate kind of passion, and they lunge at each other. The bed creaks under their bodies and frantic hands claw at each other, looking for purchase in the suddenly restraining clothes. The sex is not soft - the pair are like a couple of demons in bed - but it’s the most loved Sebastian and Claude ever feel. In this furious passion and flurry of open mouthed kisses, there’s something real behind it all. The hands digging into flesh and the tongues thrusting into mouths are real. This thunderstorm concocted in their bed is something true and honest. 

 

Claude tops tonight, much to Sebastian’s disappointment - even if he won’t complain. It’s not that Claude’s rough when he tops, it’s the opposite. He’s gentle and he teases Sebastian beyond belief - dragging the pleasure so far out that Sebastian is tempted to call it pain’s twin. Claude opens Sebastian with gentle fingers and wet kisses, and Sebastian relishes in the sting in his entrance. He lets himself wince a little - mostly just to spite Claude and be a drama queen - and Claude immediately shoots back up and covers Sebastian’s mouth with his hold. 

 

“I’ve got you, ‘Bas. I’ve got you,” Claude whispers into Sebastian.

 

Sebastian moans in reply and kisses him feverishly.  

 

“I’ll take care of you, Sebastian. You’re mine, mine, always mine, you understand? Only I can take you like this, only I can make love to you like this.” Claude hovers over Sebastian possessively and begins entering Sebastian. Sebastian groans at the feeling of being stretched, and he kisses Claude again. 

 

“I’m yours,” Sebastian whispers. “So good to me, Claude. So good.”

 

Claude groans back. “Baby… ‘Bas… ah… you feel so good.”

 

Sebastian grins as his boyfriend begins losing control. “Come on, Claude dear. Take me.”

 

Claude growls int Sebastian and begins moving. “Careful what you wish for, ‘Bas.”

 

“Only when you stop being careful and start fucking me,” Sebastian shoots back. “Make me yours.”

 

How can Claude refuse such a delicious demand? He can’t. I don’t think anyone actually can. How can someone, with Sebastian sprawled out under them, refuse to mark him and kiss him and claim him as their own? No one can. Claude’s has had his fair share in challengers trying to take away his Sebastian, but they have all failed. Sebastian is his.

 

“You’re mine,” Claude hisses. “Mine.”

 

Sebastian grins wickedly as Claude begins thrusting harder, abandoning the usual gentleness that laces his lovemaking. “Yes, I’m yours.”

 

The sex finishes three rounds later - they are young strapping men, after all. Don’t expect them to do a little quickie and nothing more - and they now lay in bed, satisfied and feeling the delicious warmth of their muscles. Sebastian topped the last round, since he couldn’t take the gentleness anymore. Claude has passed out - much to Sebastian’s amusement - so Sebastian is left alone to his thoughts. 

 

It’s been a while since Sebastian’s lied to Claude. 

 

The last time he lied and wasn’t caught doing so was when he told Claude he didn’t have a family. 

 

Now, he’s lied about Ciel. 

 

Ciel is nothing special, you see. Ciel is just some kid who Sebastian shouldn’t give two shits about. Some teenager who got addicted to the stripper at the club. Someone Sebastian should be able to ignore and overlook.

 

But he can’t.

 

Ciel isn’t some kid. Ciel is the Queen’s Guard Dog. Ciel is not some teenager. Ciel is practically more mature than half of the adults Sebastian knows put together. Ciel has a fire in his eyes that Sebastian can’t help but grow attached to. Ciel has the Phantomhive pride. Ciel is different.

 

Sebastian scoffs a bit. Ciel is a perfect example of someone being shaped by their childhood trauma. Lost his parents at eight; tried to kill himself at twelve; regained control of the Funtom Toy company at fourteen; and now is the Queen's Guard Dog ever since his sixteenth birthday. He’s cold and angry because of his loss, and he’s probably a social disaster. No, scratch that, Ciel  _ is _ a social disaster. He was dragged to the club by his friend and he can barely look at Sebastian without blushing. That shouldn’t be any different from any other tragic rich kid.

 

But then again, Ciel is the Guard Dog.

 

He’s legendary for reading people and his calculating nature. Everyone fears failing him because he’s merciless. The last time someone failed him, he humiliated them in front of half of the Set. But then again, they then became one of the strongest soldiers in the Set, despite their blunders in simple tasks. Eagle, Sebastian thinks her name is. Known for her skills with guns and for her clumsiness with anything else. She had nearly blown half of her men to smithereens when Ciel found her, and after a fairly painful lecture, he gave her a second chance and she now is one of the top six. 

 

Ciel rose to his father’s position at sixteen years old, and he’s never failed a mission. Never. 

 

Underneath all that pride, though, is the small angry kitten Sebastian can’t get out of his mind. Sebastian has never touched a client before - minus the one time Claude visited him in the club and they banged like catholic rabbits - and he’s definitely never cummed to one before - besides Claude. But Ciel is different for some reason. Sebastian is not sure why, but Ciel is different. Ciel is captivating, and Sebastian wants more. He wants to break Ciel apart and learn every secret he has to offer. He wants to be the only one Ciel can ever bring himself to trust. He wants to destroy Ciel Phantomhive and be the only one able to piece him back together again. 

 

What Sebastian wants is dangerous, and it’s even more dangerous that the boy is already beginning to come between him and Claude. He can’t leave or lose Claude - they rely on each other too much. He can’t have Ciel. 

 

But people can dream after hopeless things such as these. 

 

~~~ 

 

Elizabeth, Ciel’s current angel and devil, was frantically trying to get a hold of Ciel because she lost a stuffed animal.

 

To be fair, it was the Bitter Rabbit Ciel had given her for her tenth birthday and one of her most prized possessions - but if he had not been hyperventilating over Sebastian and his fucking boyfriend, he would have killed her for panicking over such a small thing and dragging him into it. However, Ciel was indeed hyperventilating over Sebastian and his fucking boyfriend, so Ciel forgives Elizabeth. She literally saved his ass.

 

So, they search her giant house for the Bitter Rabbit and Ciel does his best to keep Sebastian out of his head. He is busy right now; he has to find the Bitter Rabbit. This is much more important than a sexy stripper and is sexy boyfriend. This is more important than the agonizing pain he feels in his chest when he thinks about Claude with Sebastian. This is more important. 

 

They find the Bitter Rabbit in one of the alcoves in the library, and Elizabeth practically worships Ciel when he finds it. He quickly tells her that it was no problem and that yes he loves her and that he would always be there for her. 

 

He gets home far too soon, and he works until he passes out. He doesn’t want to think about Sebastian.

 

~~~

 

Finny is a hopeless assistant, but as much as Ciel wants to hate him, he can’t. Finny has these big green eyes and the biggest smile in the whole world, along with a heart of gold to top it all off. Finny has seen shit, but even then he keeps on trying his best and smiling everyday. He stumbles and flails about but does his best to please Ciel. He’s honestly a good kid. 

 

Which is bad for Ciel, because he now feels guilty for wanting to fire him.

 

It’s not that he dislikes Finny, it’s just that Finny isn’t cut out for the job Ciel wants him to do. However, Finny was out on the streets when Tanaka took him in. Finny needs the job. So Ciel keeps him, mostly because he can’t bear to break the kid’s heart and because Finny distracts Ciel and keeps him from thinking about Sebastian.

 

Damn Sebastian.

 

Ciel has a single victory over the Reapers, and he’s placed all of the kidnapped Reapers into the Set’s personal prison for them. He goes there daily and sits in on interrogations, does a few himself, and discusses tactics with his soldiers. And every day, Ciel sees Sebastian. And Claude.

 

Sebastian apparently specializes in interrogations and it takes every ounce of willpower in Ciel to not break down when he sees Sebastian unleashing his abilities on the Reapers. He’s good, like, really good. He smiles affectionately, but you know he has nothing but ice for the person in the chair. He strolls around the interrogation room like it’s the most natural thing, and he picks up on all of the little flinches the Reapers reveal. He breaks them apart slowly and painfully and effectively. Ciel has yet to sit in on one of the physical torture sessions Sebastian does - which he does do, but Ciel just can’t watch that fire light up in Sebastian’s eyes - and also refuses to attent Claude’s sessions. Claude is also amazing at interrogations. Which is great. Just great.

 

Everyday at six o’clock, Ciel wakes up, showers a quick cold shower, dresses himself, eat breakfast, and then is redressed by Tanaka. At seven, Finny drives him to the prison and drops him off. At seven fifteen, Ciel greets the daily staff and whoever it is who’s doing the main interrogations that day. In this meeting, Ciel always has to greet Sebastian and Claude, and everyday he always manages to break whatever strength he had built up the previous night. Sebastian will smile at him professionally, but that fire in his eyes will be gone. That wicked delight that Ciel was ensnared by will be gone, and Ciel will only see it when Sebastian talks to Claude. 

 

And that’s just fucking heartbreaking for Ciel.

 

He’ll be in the prison until five in the afternoon - without a lunch break because Ciel is an arrogant idiot - working nonstop, and at five ten, Finny will come and take him home. He’ll personally say goodbye to every member of staff he has worked with that day, and then he’s enter the car still smiling. As soon as the door is closed, the smile will disappear, only to reappear when Finny talks to him about something innocent and honestly heartwarming. 

 

Ciel will nibble something in the kitchen, walk to his study while still eating it, and throw all of his papers on his desk like some drama queen and begin working. Planning and analyzing any information the Reapers let out; preparing for possible Reaper attacks; going through witness accounts; emailing contacts and calling soldiers; and of course he’ll spend about four minutes gazing at the profile picture of Sebastian on the Set website. Every soldier is recorded there and tracked, and all of the personal information is on there. 

 

**Sebastian Dean Michaelis**

 

**Age: twenty four**

 

**Status: unmarried; in a relationship**

 

**Radio Name: Archangel**

 

**Height: six feet, four inches**

 

**Weight: 150 pounds**

 

The list goes on.

 

His picture is from a few years ago, and it’s a normal professional ID picture, but Sebastian’s eyes look like they hold hellfire in them. They twinkle even in the dull colors of the standard photograph, and Ciel feels a little piece of his soul cringe at the pain. 

 

Four minutes later he’ll click away from the photograph and angrily do some paperwork.

 

He’ll usually pass out from exhaustion at about one in the morning, and Tanaka will carry and undress his frail body before tucking it into bed. Ciel will usually stay asleep for the entirety of this process, otherwise he’ll shoot Tanaka and claim he’s plenty capable of taking care of himself.

 

At night, he’ll dream about Sebastian. The type of dream varies, but it’s always of that damn demon. Wet dreams; fluffy dreams; some weird ass dream about Alice in Wonderland; nightmares about Sebastian dying; some anxiety dreams about Claude with Sebastian; Sebastian hurting Ciel; and some more. But no matter the dream, in every single one, Ciel will always dream about the fire in Sebastian’s eyes. 

 

He wakes up every morning to hell. 

 

It’s funny, he’s gotten used to working until he crashed and burned and then fixing himself at the club with Sebastian, but now he can’t. He just has to crash and burn and fix himself without Sebastian. One time, after a particularly harsh day, Ciel finds himself unconsciously grabbing the clothes he usually wears to the club before dropping them as if they were fire. He breaks down once he realizes what he’s done. 

 

_ Damn you, Sebastian.  _

 

Ciel isn’t supposed to be feeling these things. He’s seen Sebastian at the club only seven times, but he’s gotten so used to it. Sebastian was like a drug that kept Ciel going. He was hellfire personified, dragging Ciel into a demon deal and taking his soul. The worst part about it, though? Ciel wants it. Ciel knew what he was doing. He knew that Sebastian was a devil and a poison, but he still took the chance. He willingly stepped into that pentagram and ran into Sebastian’s arms. 

 

Ciel even knows why he did it.

 

It’s the way Sebastian looked at him.

 

Most people either look down on Ciel for his age or act scared around him. The only people who don’t are Tanaka, Elizabeth, and Finny. But Tanaka is a butler and nothing more; Elizabeth is a childhood friend who’s seen him at his worst and best; and Finny is just some weird ass angel. 

 

But when Sebastian looks at him, it feels like Sebastian is looking right into his soul and judging every bit of it - every sin, every lust, every lie, every scar, every murder. And once he’s done looking at every nook and cranny of Ciel’s soul, he looks to Ciel with desire. With passion. With a cruel fire that wants to consume Ciel. Sebastian looks to Ciel like he wants him in every part. The good, bad and the ugly. 

 

Ciel doesn’t feel loved when Sebastian looks at him - Ciel is not that immature - but he feels honestly wanted. Elizabeth wants  _ happy _ Ciel. Tanaka wants  _ responsible _ Ciel. Finny wants  _ kind _ Ciel. Sebastian just wants  _ Ciel _ . It’s all so fucking immature and Ciel is missing Sebastian far too much for his comfort. He doesn’t know anything about Sebastian. He doesn’t know anything at all. But it just feels like Sebastian knows everything about Ciel and still wants him.

 

So, it’s not surprising when four weeks after his discovery about Archangel, Ciel passes out at work. 

 

It’s nothing dramatic that poets can write a million pages about. Ciel was just walking down the hallway to talk to Red about the Reaper who seems to be giving more information than the others when Ciel starts to feel a bit fuzzy. His sight seems to swim and his legs stop responding, and the next thing he knows he’s falling to the ground.  _ Don’t tell me I’m fainting,  _ Ciel thinks just before he hits the ground.

 

He wakes up to Red clutching him in his arms.

 

“Ciel! Ciel wake up! Ciel!” Red desperately shakes his poor body and thankfully doesn’t scream in his face or slap it like they do in the films. 

 

Ciel grudgingly opens his eyes to see Red’s concerned face. “Did I faint?” He asks before mentally face palming. Of course he fainted. People don’t just drop to the floor like that unless they’re dying. And Ciel is not dying. Hopefully.

 

Red nods seriously. “No offence, Ciel, but you really look like shit.”

 

Ciel scoffs and sits up gingerly. “Tell me about it.”

 

“You should head home,” Red says worriedly.

 

Ciel looks at her frantically and shakes his head violently. Bad idea, because now everything is spinning far too fast. 

 

“I can’t,” he manages to choke out. “I have work to do.”

 

Red sighs. “I’m a doctor, Ciel, and if you don’t go home to rest on your own free will I am calling Tanaka and Elizabeth.” 

 

Ciel stares at her in horror. “You can’t do that! I’m the Guard Dog! I need to be here and do my fucking job!”

 

Red looks at him pointedly. “Language, Ciel.”

 

“Fuck off!” He shouts and clambers to his feet while leaning heavily on the wall. “I’m fine! I can still do my job!”

 

“Ciel Phantomhive, you need to go home this instant!” Red scolds, pulling out her phone. “I’m calling Tanaka to bring a car. He will personally escort you home.”

 

Ciel tries snatching the phone from her, but ends up falling on the floor again - painfully slamming his knees into the concrete floor. “I’m fine!”

 

“What’s going on?” Sebastian’s voice reaches Ciel’s ears, and everything in him stops working momentarily.

 

“It’s nothing,” Ciel spits out, dragging himself back onto his unstable feet. 

 

“Mr. Phantomhive is not feeling well,” Red says, and Ciel can practically hear Sebastian’s eyebrows raising up into his perfect forehead.

 

“Did he faint?” 

 

“No!” Ciel snaps, turning to see Sebastian. He has this concerned look plastered on his face, and he looks at Ciel a bit desperately. 

 

“I’m fine,” Ciel croaks out before turning his head away from Sebastian. He can’t deal with this right now. Everything seems to be crashing and burning right now, and Ciel hates how weak he’s feeling right now. All because he found out his favorite stripper has a boyfriend. What a tragedy. 

 

“Ciel, you need to go home,” Red says softly. “I’ll call Tanaka.”

 

Ciel just slides back down onto the floor and curses himself. Of all the things that has to happen, he has to break down because of a stripper. 

 

“Ciel,” Sebastian’s voice floats into Ciel’s ear and he turns his head quickly, only to suffer from another onslaught of dizziness. Ciel manages to make eye contact with Sebastian, and he is faced with two choices. One: be a coward and look away and have some peace from this nightmare of a man. Two: live up to the Phantomhive name. 

 

Ciel looks Sebastian dead on in the eye and remembers suddenly what he is. 

 

He is the Earl Phantomhive and he is better than some pretty stripper.

 

“I’m fine,” Ciel says with newfound courage. He looks at Sebastian as if he’s challenging him to deny him. To deny the truth Ciel speaks. 

 

Sebastian sighs a bit. “You look like shit.”

 

Ciel scoffs and get up on his feet. “It is none of your concern. I’ll be back up and running in no time.”

 

“You make it sound like you’re some machine,” Sebastian notes, grabbing onto Ciel’s shoulders to steady him. “You have to realize that you’re not.”

 

Ciel curls his hands into fists and digs his nails into his palms. How could he have been so stupid these past few weeks? How could he let some random man make him into some jilted lover? He is not. He is a Phantomhive and Phantomhives are the guard dogs of hell. 

 

Ciel looks back into Sebastian’s eyes and sneers. “I’m a Phantomhive. Not some broken child.”

 

Sebastian’s eyes flicker with some fire that nearly undoes Ciel again. “No. You’re not a child.”

 

Ciel nods victoriously. “Then let me go.”

 

Sebastian drops his arms to his sides and looks at Ciel with some desperation Ciel cannot forgive him for. He shouldn’t be looking at Ciel like this. As if he wants Ciel. As if he doesn’t have a boyfriend. As if he and Ciel were lovers. As if he knew anything about Ciel.

 

“Tanaka’s waiting at the entrance,” Red says. “You should get going.”

 

Ciel nods and walks away from them both, swatting Red’s hand which tries to help him. “I’m fine.” He walks to the car without too many stumbles and Tanaka opens the car door for him and shuts it gently behind him. Tanaka says nothing as he starts the car, and from behind tinted windows, Ciel watches Sebastian gazing at the car. He feels something light up in his soul when he sees Sebastian’s worried expression, but that light is instantly put out when Claude walks out and plants himself next to Sebastian. 

 

_ Sebastian is not mine,  _ Ciel reminds himself.  _ And I cannot have anyone like that. I am a Phantomhive. Earl Phantomhive. _

 

~~~

 

Sebastian doesn’t know what he’s feeling. 

 

He was honestly concerned when he saw Ciel on the ground in Red’s arms, but he can’t really explain the disappointment in him when he saw the depression in Ciel’s eyes. As soon as he crouched down and saw sadness radiating from Ciel’s eyes, he felt disappointed. There’s really no other way to describe it. He suddenly felt bored of Ciel and momentarily scoffed Ciel for being so weak. Why was Ciel like this? Why did he break so suddenly? 

 

But then Ciel seemed to flick a switch within himself and then looked at Sebastian with so much anger and contempt. The look was chilling and completely arrogant, but suddenly everything in Sebastian seemed to light on fire again. Ciel wasn’t broken down. Ciel was on fire and still fighting. Sebastian had suddenly relived the few nights he had with Ciel at the club, and fondness filled his soul. This was his Ciel. His Phantomhive. 

 

But then again, Ciel isn’t his. 

 

Ciel had gotten up and walked away from Sebastian as if he didn’t need him. 

 

Ciel climbed into that car without as much as a second glance at Sebastian.

 

Claude walked next to Sebastian and gently thread his fingers through Sebastian’s. 

 

That’s right. Ciel isn’t Sebastian’s. Ciel is his own person, and Sebastian belongs to Claude. He can’t feel this for Ciel.

 

Claude and Sebastian have extremely intense sex that night, and usually that would excite Sebastian beyond belief, but he keeps seeing Ciel behind his eyelids when Claude was gentler in his movements. He keeps seeing the fire in Ciel. 

 

Claude feels alien under his hands and in his arms, and Sebastian momentarily wonders what’s wrong with him. Claude is the one person who he completely trusts and loves. Claude is his. Ciel isn’t. 

 

They shower together after the sex, and in the shower Claude begins teasing Sebastian again, but Sebastian gently says no. Claude freezes immediately and eyes Sebastian carefully. 

 

“Sebastian?” Claude asks carefully. “What’s going on?”

 

Sebastian shrugs. “I’m just tired. I don’t want to fall to my death in here. It would be quite a pitiful death, no?” Sebastian manages to shoot Claude a flirty look before kissing him softly. “I think we both deserve a more honorable death.”

 

Claude still isn’t satisfied. “You’ve never said no to shower sex.”

 

Sebastian chuckles. “Really? What about that one time in LA?”

 

Claude rolls his eyes. “You passed out halfway through it.”

 

“Exactly. I don’t want the same thing happening twice.”

 

Claude nods. “Fine.” He kisses Sebastian. “But I want cuddles tonight.”

 

“Only if you’ll let me be the big spoon.” Sebastian nips playfully at Claude’s lip.

 

“You’re denying shower sex, I think I have every right to be the big spoon,” Claude whispers.

 

Sebastian scoffs. “I am denying it for our own benefit.”

 

Claude drags him out of the shower and kisses him again. “Keep telling yourself that, Sebastian.”

 

Claude rarely ever calls Sebastian by his full name when they’re alone.

 

~~~

 

Tanaka gently places Ciel’s chocolate cake on his desk, bowing slightly before addressing the Earl. “You are going to crash and burn if you keep this up, young master.”

 

Ciel is tempted to roll his eyes. The phrase has become such a big part of his life, and it’s become a bit humorous in his opinion. “I’ve already crashed and burned now, haven’t I? I can move past that now.” He grabs his cake and nibbles at a little piece of it. Delicious as usual, but not carrying any emotional baggage. Perfect.

 

“You need to slow down or get some help with your work. Someone you can depend on,” Tanaka says, looking at Ciel tenderly. “The Queen has a point.”

 

“And who exactly was it that brought me that bumbling fool, Finny?” Ciel mumbles. It’s not that he dislikes Finny, but he has to poke Tanaka with something.

 

Tanaka sighs slightly. “I am not saying that you should fire Finny. Simply move him to a different position that better suits him. Once he has comfortably changed job in the mansion, then hire another assistant.”

 

“And who the hell would be a good assistant for me?” Ciel snaps. Every single damn fool who has come to ‘help’ him out has been useless in at least one major way.

 

“I have one more person that I would like to try, and I do believe he’ll be good for you, master,” Tanaka notes softly. His expression has become hopeful and there’s a little twinkle in his eyes.

 

“Who is it?” Ciel asks carefully.

 

Tanaka smiles just a bit. “I cannot say. He is yet to accept or decline the position.”

 

“Do you honestly think he’ll be any good?” Ciel asks after eating another bite of cake. 

 

“He’s outstanding in his field, master,” Tanaka promises.

 

“Will I be able to tolerate him?” 

 

“I highly believe so.” Now Tanaka is fully smiling. 

 

Ciel scoffs. “I don’t need an assistant.”

 

Tanaka hums before replying. “Then you need a partner. Madam Red is too much of a mother to work properly with you, and most of your coworkers admire you too much. I believe this man will be much more suitable.”

 

“Admire me too much?” Ciel wrinkles his nose. “Isn’t that a good thing?”

 

“Do you want someone like Ms. MeyRin working with you, master?”

 

Ciel shudders a bit. “Touché.”

 

“Then I’ll call him and ask him if he’ll take the job.” Tanaka smiles at Ciel. 

 

“I still don’t need help.” Ciel does his best to wipe that smile off of Tanaka’s face.

 

Tanaka drops the smile and then eyes him carefully. “Sir, please forgive my bluntness, but you fainted today.”

 

Ciel shrugs. “I’m fine. I fainted, but I think I hit my head on the way down. The hit must have knocked some sense into me. I know what I need to do now.”

 

Tanaka raises a silver brow at this. “About the Reapers, sir?”

 

Ciel opens his mouth and then closes it. “No. But I know that I need to change my mindset to something more appropriate. I’ve been acting like a child, recently.”

 

Tanaka chuckles under his breath and Ciel glares at him for it. If Tanaka wasn’t the man that practically raised Ciel, Ciel would scold him vigorously for laughing at his Earl. However, Ciel forgives him for the chuckle. 

 

“Hire the man if you must, but I’ll be the one to decide whether or not he’s any good. Now leave me be, I have work to do.” Ciel turns back to his computer and the mountain of paperwork. 

 

Tanaka bows slightly and begins walking away. “Yes, my lord.”

 

Ciel shudders angrily and glares at Tanaka. “Don’t say that.”

 

“My lord?”

 

Ciel slams his teeth together. “Don’t call me your ‘lord.’ I’m not. This is the twenty first century. We’re past these things.”

 

“You’ve never had a problem with it before.”

 

Ciel sighs. “Just call me anything but ‘lord.’” Ciel refuses to admit the way that word has been tainted in his mind. Sebastian is the devil from hell, sent to destroy Ciel. Ciel scoffs. He won’t give him the satisfaction. He will beat him in this game of his. Ciel is stronger than this. Ciel is a Phantomhive. The Earl Phantomhive.

 

“Of course,” Tanaka says before walking out quietly. “Young master.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave kudos or comment and tell me what you think of the fic so far!!!


	4. One Hell of a Butler

“What the ever loving fuck are you doing here?!” Ciel hisses.

 

Sebastian bows. “Forgive me, my lord. Tanaka sent me to your office with tea, I did not realize that you were busy. Would you like me to come back later?” He’s dressed in a butler’s attire and his hair is slicked back. 

 

Ciel looks at him incredulously and is lost for words. He was just sitting at his desk, doing the normal work he would normally be doing on a Sunday, before Elizabeth came to torture him and drag him to the outside world. She’s due to arrive in twenty minutes, so Ciel was doing the last minute paperwork so he could peacefully handle Elizabeth without the nagging stress of work looming in the back of his mind. It was a normal day. He finally felt a little stronger ever since the fainting incident and ever since he remembered what exactly it meant to carry the Phantomhive name. He was just a little stronger. 

 

But then, Sebastian is knocking on his office door and offering tea. 

 

In a butler attire.

 

Without any warning.

 

“Why did Tanaka send you?” Ciel asks, glaring carefully at the tray in Sebastian’s hand. 

 

“He said that you usually take your tea at this time of day, so he sent me up to bring it to you,” Sebastian explains with an innocent expression glued on his face.

 

“What are you doing in my house?” Ciel spits. He feels the anger boiling in his blood again and he has to do everything in his power not to insult Sebastian and the entirety of his lineage.

 

“Tanaka hired me, Mr. Phantomhive.”

 

Ciel freezes. Could Tanaka have… no… certainly not… “What do you mean ‘hired?’”

 

Sebastian sighs a little and gives Ciel a condescending look. “He hired me as your new assistant, since your last one was apparently a disaster.” 

 

Tanaka did. He hired Sebastian. That sly old bastard… “Well, you’re fired. I don’t need an assistant.”

 

Sebastian rolls his eyes a little and Ciel begins wondering how many ways can he kill Sebastian from here. “Tanaka said that you would say that.”

 

“Did he now? Good for him. Now get out of my office.” Ciel looks away from Sebastian and back to his work, hoping he’ll be able to finish all of it before Elizabeth arrives. 

 

Apparently, Sebastian does not listen to Ciel, but instead walks over to Ciel’s desk and gently places the tea next to his paperwork. “I’ll be with Tanaka if you need anything,” Sebastian says softly before quietly exiting the room. The door clicks shut timidly and Ciel stares at it.

 

Ciel wants to do a lot of things right now. 

 

One: kill Tanaka.

 

Two: kill Sebastian.

 

Three: burn his paperwork.

 

Four: drink the tea that honestly smells delicious. 

 

Five: curl up in his bed and cry like some weak child.

 

Ciel decides on number four at the moment. He sips at the tea gingerly and moans quietly at its taste. Tanaka is literally a tea god, and Ciel decides that he will not kill Tanaka for the time being. He needs his tea. 

 

What about number two, then? Sebastian was apparently hired by Tanaka, but he accepted the job. Sebastian knew exactly who he was going to work for, and he better not be stupid enough to think that this is some sort of promotion or something that will get him another one. So why take the job? Does he want to mock Ciel like this? Taunt him and cut into his pride and soul with the rusty knife also known as Sebastian’s existence? 

 

Maybe. Sebastian is quite the psychopath; Ciel knows this much from all of the information on Sebastian’s identity page. Maybe this is a game to him, a sick cruel game he thinks he can win. Ciel grins wickedly. If this is a game, then he will win it. He is the Earl Phantomhive, he is never beaten. Never. If Sebastian thinks he can challenge him at this, he will get the entirety of the Phantomhive pride thrown in his face. Ciel is better than him. Ciel is not weak.

 

The doorbell rings softly through the door, signaling Elizabeth’s arrival, and Ciel sighs. Whatever game Sebastian wants to play, it will have to wait. He makes his way downstairs and is surprised to find Elizabeth chatting away with Sebastian in the doorway. Sebastian looks like the pinnacle of butler behavior, with Elizabeth’s coat tucked over his arm and a welcoming smile painted on his face. Elizabeth giggles tremendously at something Sebastian says, and Sebastian smiles kindly in return, chuckling softly. 

 

“Elizabeth,” Ciel calls, feeling suddenly possessive of his best friend. Sebastian has already made his life hell, he will not continue to do so with Elizabeth. She is the one thing he has seperated from work and pain. She represents everything innocent he has lost.

 

“Ciel!” She squeals and throws herself into Ciel’s arms. “I didn’t know you hired Sebastian!” 

 

Ciel grimaces slightly. “Tanaka did, actually. I didn’t ask for more help.” The Queen did, though.

 

She giggles. “And he hired your stripper?”

 

Ciel freezes in her arms and shoots a dirty look at Sebastian. “How do you know that?”

 

“Because they’re the same person, duh!” She whacks Ciel’s head gently. “It’s not like he looks that different with a little bit of makeup on. Besides, last time I saw him he was wearing a suit, like he is now.”

 

Ciel sighs. It’s true, Sebastian didn’t really change his appearance onstage. Not that much makeup. “Tanaka apparently thought that he would also be a good butler.”

 

Elizabeth giggles and begins dragging Ciel to their private living room. “Or, you just wanted to see your sexy stripper again,” she whispers scandalously into Ciel’s ear.

 

“I did no such thing!” Ciel exclaims, mentally hanging himself for even looking forward to Elizabeth’s visit. She’s always a nightmare.

 

“Oh, forgive me, sexy  _ butler _ ,” she whispers.

 

“Stop it,” Ciel hisses with as much venom as he can summon. He wanted to escape Sebastian, not gossip about him!

 

She shrugs. “Fine. I’ll stop talking about his sexiness. But if Tanaka thought he was good, then you should consider asking him out. Going out with him.”

 

“No!” Ciel snaps harshly, and she flinches a bit. “He has a boyfriend already,” Ciel adds softly. “And I don’t have time for relationships. You’re the only person I know for pleasure.”

 

She scoffs. “The boyfriend only means one thing, Ciel: that he swings for boys. So, once the boyfriend is out of the way, you’re in!” 

 

“I can’t do that!” Ciel hisses. “I can’t just plot a way to tear him away from his boyfriend just because I like him too!”

 

“Ah ha!” She shouts victoriously. “So you admit you like him!”

 

Ciel sputters for words and is ironically saved by Sebastian, who enters with some refreshments. 

 

“Lemonade?” He asks innocently.

 

“Yes, please!” Elizabeth says cheerfully. 

 

“Young master?” Sebastian asks. 

 

Ciel shakes his head. “No, thank you.”

 

Sebastian nods and gives Elizabeth a glass of lemonade, which she eagerly takes and sips at. 

 

“We’re fine, now. Leave us,” Ciel orders coldly, and Sebastian bows.

 

“Yes, my lord.” And with that, Sebastian leaves the room like a ghost.

 

_ My lord…  _ Ciel shakes his head at the memory of Sebastian hovering over him at the club. How the music thrummed in the background and how Sebastian’s hips moved to the beat. How Sebastian looked at him.

 

“He really is sexy,” Elizabeth notes quietly, the straw for the lemonade dangling between her lips.

 

“Can we please stop talking about that nightmare of a man?” Ciel hisses. Everything in his damn life has become Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian. It’s fucking awful.

 

Elizabeth glares at Ciel. “There is nothing wrong with having a crush on someone, Ciel. You need to stop being such a loner and let yourself talk about your feelings.”

 

“A loner?” Ciel hisses under his breath. “Just because I work alone and don’t socialize like ‘normal people,’ I’m a loner?”

 

Elizabeth sighs a bit. “You know I didn’t mean it that harshly, Ciel.”

 

“But you meant it,” Ciel says. “I’m a loner. I won’t deny it. I have one friend; my entire family is dead; I live alone in a giant mansion with two servants; and the one time I let myself actually like someone, everything crashes and burns. I’m a loner. So what?”

 

Elizabeth scoffs and sits up with a flourish of her hand. “So we need to fix that. We need to go out and do stuff normal teenagers do and-”

 

“I’m not normal!” Ciel shouts. “I’m not, okay? Normal teenagers don’t have butlers. Normal teenagers aren’t Earls. Normal teenagers have a family. Normal teenagers go to school. Normal teenagers have friends and hang out and worry about little things like crushes and grades. Normal teenagers don’t worry about whether or not they’ll survive the next week or if they’ll disappoint their employer the  _ Queen _ or about the soldiers they have to lead!” The words leave Ciel in a rush of anger, and he doesn’t think about what he’s saying until he’s done saying them. Elizabeth doesn’t know about the Set. She was supposed to stay away from all of these nightmares he has to deal with and be his safe space.

 

“I’m sorry, Ciel,” she says softly, looking at the drink in her hand. “I forgot that you’re…”

 

“That I’m what, Elizabeth?” Ciel spits. “That I’m what?” He doesn’t know what’s come over him, but he’s finding it quite hard to stop now. To stop these words flowing out of his mouth and attacking Elizabeth. She doesn’t know what he’s going through. She doesn’t know the shit he’s seen.

 

“I don’t know, okay?” Elizabeth retaliates. “I don’t know what you are. You used to be my best friend who smiled a lot and ate chocolate cake too much and likes stuffed animals. But now you’re cold, like some monster. I can’t even call it growing up because you’re more serious than any adult I know. I don’t know what happened to you.”

 

“My family burnt to ashes; that’s what happened,” Ciel says. “I lost everything in a matter of days. That’s what happened.”

 

Elizabeth looks away guilty. “I’m sorry.” She stands up and clutches her drinks a little too tightly. “I’ll go, now.” She walks to the door and Ciel doesn’t even try to stop her. “Goodbye, Ciel.”

 

_ Don’t go…  _ The words whisper themselves in Ciel’s mind. Elizabeth is how he’s been coping recently. How he’s been ignoring work for just a little bit. But now, she’s become tainted too. 

 

All because of Sebastian.

 

She shuts the door softly behind her, and Ciel would rather she had slammed it. He can deal with rage. He can’t deal with pity and tears. He laughs bitterly. Just when he thought he was getting a better control over his life, this happens. He loses another person. Again. He scoffs. A Phanomhive’s curse. Everything that a Phantomhive touches burns away to ashes under his hands. Nothing survive’s a Phantomhive’s touch. 

 

Ciel punches the wall in rage and screams in frustration when he hears a little crack coming from his wrist. Great. Just great. He falls to the ground an clutches his wrist. 

 

“Mr. Phantomhive?” Sebastian pokes his head into the room and narrows his eyes when he sees Ciel crouching on the floor while clutching his hand. “Ciel? What happened?”

 

Ciel turns his head away from Sebastian and gets up. “I’m fine.”

 

Sebastian sighs and walks over to Ciel. He crouches down next to Ciel and turns Ciel so they face each other. “You punched the wall, didn’t you?”

 

Ciel just glares at Sebastian.

 

“Let me see,” Sebastian says and holds his hand out. “I won’t have you injuring yourself on my first day here.”

 

Ciel scoffs quietly before giving Sebastian his wrist. “Maybe that was the plan.”

 

Sebastian silently scolds him and gently holds the swelling wrist. “I think you fractured it. We’ll need to put some ice on it to stop the swelling. Come on.” Sebastian tugs on Ciel’s arm and leads him down to the kitchen. The entire way there, Sebastian holds Ciel’s wrist carefully and cradles it the way a mother cradles their child. They arrive in the kitchen and Sebastian wastes no time as he grabs ice out of the refrigerator and placing it in a towel. He grabs Ciel’s wrist again and wraps it in the ice. Ciel hisses at the feeling but doesn’t flinch.

 

“You do realize that we have work tomorrow,” Sebastian mutters.

 

“I know that,” Ciel says. “I’m not stupid.”

 

“You sure?” Sebastian scoffs. “There could be an attack tomorrow and you willingly punch the wall with your good hand, fracturing the wrist? Good job.”

 

“Don’t mock me,” Ciel hisses. “What I do to myself is none of your concern.”

 

Sebastian shrugs. “Maybe once. But now, as your butler / assistant, what you do to yourself is now my concern.”

 

Ciel narrows his eyes at him. “Unless I fire you.”

 

“You can try, but Mr. Tanaka is a force to be reckoned with, I hope you know that.”

 

“Of course I know that!” Ciel snarls. “Tanaka was the one who practically raised me, I know the man.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes,” Ciel answers with full confidence. Tanaka is practically family to him. Family without the emotional baggage.

 

“What’s his favorite tea?” Sebastian asks.

 

“Earl Grey,” Ciel answers without hesitation.

 

“Food?” Sebastian asks. 

 

“Mac and Cheese.” Don’t ask Ciel why he knows this, but Tanaka told Ciel strange things when he was a child. 

 

“Drink?”

 

“Earl Grey or scotch, depending on the day.” Ciel mentally shudders at the memory of Tanaka getting drunk and being super happy and huggy with everyone.

 

“His age?”

 

“Fifty three and a half.” Ciel adds the half just for the sake of it. 

 

“Family?” 

 

“He had two sons, but they both died shortly after childbirth. His wife committed suicide after the death of the second son and he was left alone. He was then employed by my father.” Ciel didn’t know this until after his own parents death, and Tanaka told him about his own family to comfort Ciel.

 

Sebastian nods. “Not bad.”

 

Ciel scoffs. “Not bad? I think I did excellent, thank you very much.”

 

Sebastian smiles. “Alright then. You did excellent, even if Tanaka has been with your family for years.”

 

“Piss off,” Ciel mutters. The words don’t have any venom in them, and Ciel silently curses himself for falling under Sebastian’s spell again. He was ready to kill the man earlier, but now… now he’s fighting the urge to smile.

 

Sebastian smirks. “I can’t really do that now, Mr. Phantomhive. I am your butler, now.”

 

Ciel eyes him. “I thought Tanaka hired you as my assistant.”

 

“At work outside of the home, yes. But, I think Tanaka wants me to prove myself to the Phantomhive household before I gain any real importance here,” Sebastian explains.

 

“So you’re going to be my butler?” Ciel asks.

 

“Your personal butler,” Sebastian says with an angelic smile.

 

Fuck no. “But Tanaka is my personal butler.”

 

“Tanaka is getting old,” Sebastian says softly. “He’ll need someone to replace him soon.”

 

“And he thinks that someone will be you?” Ciel hisses. “What makes you so special?”

 

“I honestly don’t know,” Sebastian answers. “But he seems to trust me.”

 

“Well I don’t,” Ciel spits, reminding himself of his situation with Sebastian. Maybe it’s a bit childish to hate him when he’s done nothing wrong, but Ciel doesn’t want to grow up with this specific situation. Sebastian has ruined his life, the patterns he’s made for himself.

 

“Why not?” Sebastian asks. “I’ve proven myself as a soldier, so surely that must be enough?”

 

“You are about to become my  _ personal  _ butler, Sebastian,” Ciel hisses. “There’s a lot of trust that has to be made between us.”

 

“I trust you,” Sebastian says, looking Ciel dead on in the eye. “As a person and as the Guard Dog.”

 

“I only trust you as the Archangel,” Ciel says. “I trust you as a soldier. But not as a person.”

 

“Why not?” Sebastian holds onto Ciel’s arm a little tighter and draws him closer. “What have I done to warrant your distrust?”

 

“Nothing,” Ciel says. “You’ve done nothing. I don’t know anything about you. You know nothing about me. You’re a fool for trusting me.”

 

Sebastian shrugs. “I see your point. But it doesn’t change my trust in you. I have a good instinct about people, and my gut tells me something good about you. I haven’t been wrong before.”

 

Ciel scoffs. “There’s always a first time for everything.”

 

Sebastian smiles. “I understand where this hatred is coming from, but I also think it’s also think it’s childish. We are in a work environment now, Ciel, so would it be so hard to grow up a bit?”

 

Ciel is stunned by the harsh words. “Grow up?” He says carefully. “There is nothing wrong with a bit of hatred every once in a while, and I think you should be careful who you call childish.” He pushes Sebastian away with his good hand. “I may be seventeen, but I am an Earl. I am the Guard Dog. I have the Phantomhive pride on my side so don’t tell me to ‘grow up.’”

 

Sebastian looks at Ciel surprisingly, and suddenly fondness fills his eyes.  _ Fondness _ . “Of course, forgive me, my lord.”

 

Ciel grits his teeth and walks away with the ice. “I’m fine now. You’re dismissed to do whatever it is Tanaka wants you to do.”

 

“Yes, my lord.”

 

~~~

 

Sebastian finishes his work at seven thirty and Ciel is beyond relieved to see him finished. Tanaka tells him some last minute butler stuff and Sebastian nods at everything and asks the occasional question. It all sounds pointless to Ciel since Sebastian already has a job - two, actually - and doesn’t need a third one. The man must be busy enough. 

 

“Do you need Finny to drive you home?” Tanaka asks.

 

Sebastian shakes his head. “I have a ride coming, it should be here any minute now.”

 

Tanaka nods, satisfied. “Excellent. Now, tomorrow we will be discussing the hours in more detail and how much the young master will let you do. I believe that it will take some time, but eventually you should have almost as much control over the estate as Mr. Phantomhive himself.”

 

Sebastian chuckles at this. “You think he’ll trust me?”

 

Tanaka nods. “I do. It just takes some time to wiggle your way into that boy’s heart.”

 

Ciel scoffs quietly from his position on the stairs. As if he has a heart. 

 

The doorbell rings and Finny opens the door to reveal Claude in casual attire. Ciel freezes at the sight of him but mentally scolds himself for feeling pained. Claude is a soldier, nothing more. It doesn’t matter if he’s dating Sebastian, Ciel doesn’t care about Sebastian. He can’t.

 

“Hello, Claude,” Sebastian says cheerfully. “Thank you, Mr. Tanaka. I will be seeing you soon.”

 

Tanaka bows slightly. “Thank you for accepting the job. I bid you goodnight.”

 

Sebastian smiles and takes Claude’s outstretched hand before walking away. The large door closes with a thud and Ciel exhales a breath he doesn’t realize he’s been holding. 

 

“I’m firing Sebastian,” Ciel says to Tanaka.

 

Tanaka turns to him with the butler’s mask. “Why on earth would you do that?”

 

“I don’t want him, here. He’s already got two jobs and he doesn’t need the money. He’d just be wasting time being away from his boyfriend.”

 

Tanaka chuckles. “He’s not getting paid that much for his duties as a butler, my lord. And I believe that since you recently promoted him, you already have faith in his abilities.”

 

“I do have faith in his abilities, but only as a soldier. I don’t want him as my butler. That’s far too personal.” Ciel cringes at the image of Sebastian being the one to wake him up in the mornings, the one to make him breakfast, the one to dress him and take care of him and just no. No way.

 

Tanaka chuckles. “He’s an interesting man, master. I do believe you should give him a chance. He has done nothing to anger you.”

 

“I don’t want to give him a chance, I want him gone. So fire him already,” Ciel spits. 

 

Tanaka sighs. “I’m afraid I cannot do that.”

 

“Pardon?” Ciel walks over to Tanaka, a deadly expression on his face.

 

“Ciel, I am getting old. Soon, I will not be able to take care of you the way your butler should. I need to find someone to replace me and support you. Sebastian is a strapping young man with immense potential. He will take good care of you. And he is also similar in age, and I think once you two have become friends he’ll become your partner and then another butler will come.” Tanaka sighs. “He won’t be your butler for forever - think of this as a transition period, Ciel. He will be the first thing in this household to change ever since the fire.”

 

“I don’t want him in my life,” Ciel spits. “That man is hellfire personified and I want nothing to do with him.”

 

“That man is going to change your life for the better, Ciel,” Tanaka says softly.

 

“How can you be so sure?” Ciel asks. “You don’t know anything about him.”

 

“You’d be surprised, young master,” Tanaka murmurs. “I know a great deal about him, and I have drawn the conclusion that he is worthy of the Phantomhive household.”

 

Ciel stares at him incredulously. “Why do you want him to be my butler so much?”

 

“Because I know he’ll be good for you.”

 

~~~

 

Reapers attack another hospital the next day and Ciel absolutely refuses to look Sebastian in the eye. He will not admit that Sebastian was right. He will not look and see Sebastian’s ‘I told you so’ face. He will not do it.

 

Ciel’s hand is put into a brace and he’s teamed with Sebastian and Claude for ‘protection’ - courtesy of Madam Red - and he nearly kills himself because of it. His job for this mission is to order people around and do absolutely nothing else. It’s horrible.

 

They got a tip about the Reapers early this morning, and while Sebastian and Claude were one of the first ones to know about it, they still didn’t leave for the hospital until they got to Ciel - due to Madam Red making them Ciel’s boydguards. They leave as soon as they can, and the ride is oddly stressful. Claude keeps checking his phone and Sebastian just glares at him every time he does. Ciel is tempted to ask Sebastian what the hell is going on with Claude, but he decides against it. He can find out later. They have more important things to focus on now.

 

They arrive in a rush and they run into the hospital without a single word. Once they’re close enough to the combat zone, Ciel orders Sebastian and Claude to leave him in a locked room with his computer. When Sebastian asks why they would leave him, Ciel just glares and tells them to go be useful somewhere else with their skills. 

 

“I’m the player and the Set are my pawns. You two are my knights. Now go be useful. I’ll be fine here,” Ciel grumbles. 

 

Sebastian eyes Ciel carefully, but agrees to do so. “Don’t move from this room, understood?”

 

Ciel scoffs. “I’m the one giving orders, not you.”

 

Sebastian laughs. “Sir, yes, sir.”

 

“Just go!” Ciel groans slamming the door shut behind them. He sits down on the floor and begins monitoring the Set’s movement. He gives his orders, smiles when the Reapers fall into his traps, and ignores how well Sebastian and Claude fight together. They clear sector after sector, and Ciel has to admit that Sebastian and Claude are extremely good at their job. Archangel and Arachne. The perfect little duo.

 

The fight finishes without any flourish - it wasn’t a vast amount of Reapers, mostly just a few soldiers holding some patients hostage - but Ciel feels like something is missing. He should be happy about their victory, but this was too easy. They captured every single damn Reaper on site and Ciel knows that they aren’t this stupid. He radios the bomb team to double check the site and orders a second sweep of the hospital. Something isn’t right. 

 

The Reapers targeted the asylum today, but they killed no one. They held hostages and did some nasty threats, but nothing more. Reapers aren’t this clean in their attacks. They’re usually ruthless.

 

“Archangel,” Ciel says into the comm.

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

Ciel pauses before replying. “Talk to some of the patients. Take off your helmet and ask what the Reapers did to them. I’ll be down there in a few.”

 

“Copy. Archangel out.”

 

“Guard Dog out,” Ciel mutters into the comm and rushes down to the wing where they’re keeping most of the affected patients. He radios Red on the way down and tells her the same thing, and he begins running through what the hell the Reapers were doing here. They raided medication and held patients hostage. Ciel guesses that they didn’t kill anyone since none of them are supposed to be dead, but usually the Reapers do something with a bit more flare. Pathetic speeches and propaganda. Graffiti. Kidnappings. Something.

 

“Guard Dog, this is Red, come in,” Red’s voice crackles into his ear. 

 

“I read you, Red,” Ciel replies. “Talk to me.”

 

“Archangel and Arachne found something. Wing B. Hurry. Copy.”

 

“Understood,” Ciel says, rushing towards Wing B.

 

“Red out.”

 

“Guard Dog out.”

 

Ciel runs a little faster and bursts into the room to see Sebastian, Claude, and Red with a handful of patients. They all look about twenty to thirty years old, and all of the patients look all a bit too happy for their current situation. One of the patients is sitting closely with Claude, and from Ciel’s angle it looks like they’re holding hands. What the hell? 

 

“What’s going on?” Ciel asks, taking off his helmet and stopping next to Sebastian. 

 

Red opens her mouth and then closes it. She looks to Sebastian and Claude with a worried expression. 

 

“These are all patients with dementia or memory problems,” Sebastian says. 

 

Ciel nods. “And?”

 

“And we remember everything now,” a voice cuts in. 

 

Ciel looks down to see the young man clinging to Claude. His hair is messy and a striking blonde, and pale blue eyes cut into Ciel’s darker eyes. He doesn’t look as happy as the other patients and the blue in his eyes seems deadly. 

 

“Who are you?” Ciel asks, walking forward and kneeling in front of the man.

 

“Alois,” the man answers. “Alois Trancy.”

 

Ciel nods and offers his hand. “I’m Ciel.”

 

Alois takes the hand and shakes it gently. “I know. Claude told me about you.”

 

Ciel glances up at Claude and narrows his eyes. “Is that so?”

 

Claude sighs a bit. “I work with some of the patients here. Alois is the one I visit most frequently, due to his special situation.”

 

“And what situation is that?” Ciel asks.

 

“Yes, I think we’re all dying to hear about that,” Sebastian drawls and Alois shrinks a bit into Claude’s form. Claude glares at Sebastian and Sebastian simply shrugs. 

 

“Alois was in an accident a few years ago, resulting in his memory being severely damaged,” Claude says, still glaring at Sebastian. “His long term memory is perfectly intact, but his short term memory is another story. He can only remember things that happen before the accident and the events that are within the current two days of his life, approximately. Every 48 hours, however, his mind is wiped clean and he remembers nothing about the previous days,” Claude explains. 

 

Ciel grimaces slightly at the situation. That must be hell, waking up every two days and having to figure out what your world has become. Knowing that everything will only last for nearly two days. Reliving a nightmare every two days. And this has been going on for years, too. It sounds like hell.

 

“So what’s all the fuss about?” Ciel asks. He hopes they haven’t called him down here to listen to sob stories. 

 

“I remember,” Alois says. He clears his throat a bit as everyone’s eyes focus on him now, and he says more clearly, “I remember everything ever since the accident. It’s as if I’ve never forgotten anything.” Alois then cuddles closer to Claude and rests his head on Claude’ shoulder.  _ They look like a couple like this _ , Ciel thinks.

 

Why is everyone upset that Alois remembers, though? Ciel thinks for a moment on why everyone looks so damn worried about this, and then it hits him straight on. He mentally facepalms for not realizing this sooner. “You remembered because of the Reapers.”

 

Alois nods and Ciel sucks in a tight breath. He pinches the bridge of his nose and groans a bit. “And let me guess, every single patient with memory problems has been cured?”

 

“Yes,” Red says softly. “The Reapers cured them.”

 

Ciel balls his hands into fists. “How?” He asks, turning to face Red and Sebastian. “How the ever loving fuck did they do that?!”

 

“Language, Ciel,” Red scolds. 

 

Ciel pivots on his heel and stares at Alois. “Can you tell me what happened when the Reapers came in?”

 

Alois looks to Claude worriedly and then back to Ciel. “It’s a bit fuzzy, but I can try.”

 

“Talk,” Ciel says. 

 

Alois sputters a bit and looks to Claude again. “They just came in with their guns and held us all at gunpoint,” he begins softly, and Claude’s reassuring expression seems to encourage him. “One of the men collected all of our medicine and threw it into a bag. They then threw the bag out of the window and approached us. One of them told us that we have no reason to resist them and that they’re here to help, and then they just walked over to us and did something to us. The next thing I realize is that I’m remembering the accident and the past few years.” Alois pauses and tightens his grip on Claude’s arm. “It’s all so clear in my mind.”

 

Sebastian and Ciel don’t miss the worried expression that flits across Claude’s face or the way his own grip on Alois tightens. 

 

“Do you remember what they did to you?” Ciel asks.  _ Please say yes, please say yes. _

 

“No.”

 

And fuck.

 

Ciel groans and pinches the bridge of his nose again. “Red.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Everyone here needs to be kept in contact and interrogated. Contact family and get them someplace safe,” Ciel orders.

 

“Yes, sir,” Red says before walking away and barking orders at the men. 

 

“Alois,” Ciel turns back to Claude and his very clingy witness. “Do you have family nearby?”

 

Alois shakes his head.

 

“Friends?” Ciel asks.

 

“None that I can stay with,” Alois says softly and Claude looks like he’s about to deny Alois’ words.

 

Ciel gives Claude a moment to decide whether or not he’s going to speak, and finds it interesting that Claude decides not to. Alright then. Speak now or forever hold your peace and all that jazz.

 

“Then you’ll stay with me,” Ciel says and Alois whips his head up and stares at Ciel incredulously. 

 

“What?” Alois and Sebastian say at the same time.

 

“You heard me. I’ve got a big ass house, I think I can take one witness in. You’ll be safe with me and I’ll do my best to make you comfortable.” Ciel tries to soften his gaze into something trustworthy. He has no idea what this guy has been through, and he doesn’t want to screw it up. “Are you okay with that?”

 

Alois pauses but then grins up at Ciel. “I can do that.”

 

Ciel sighs in relief and offers a small smile. “Excellent. I’ll let Madam Red inspect you and then we’ll be off.”

 

Alois nods and cuddles into Claude again. The two look so damn comfortable with each other and Ciel wonders whether or not Claude is a cuddly guy. From what Ciel has seen, he’s not, but here he is, snuggling with a witness. Ciel knows that the two of them know each other because of Claude’s work, but Ciel thinks that there’s more to it than that. Ciel originally offered to take Alois in as a distraction from Sebastian and to have a witness close by, but as Ciel thinks about it more, Alois is more than just a witness to a Reaper attack. Alois is apparently  _ very _ close with Claude, and something in Ciel wants to get his answers through Alois. He’d never go through the process of using Alois to make Claude and Sebastian break up, but Alois can give him answers. Ciel has a good instinct with people, and Alois is a very big piece in this giant puzzle that Ciel likes to call life. Alois seems to hold more secrets than those about the Reapers and Ciel intents to uncover every single one of those secrets. 

 

Tanaka drives Ciel, Alois, Claude and Sebastian back to Ciel’s house (cough cough  _ mansion _ ) and no one really talks the entire way there. Alois clings to Claude the entire time and keeps trying to start a quiet conversation between the two of them, but Claude keeps shutting him down and Ciel hears him say “not here” at one point.  _ Are those two keeping secrets?  _

 

Sebastian seems to take great pleasure staring at Alois with a mocking expression and Ciel wonders momentarily if he’s jealous. Claude is Sebastian’s boyfriend, so he has every right to be jealous of Alois, but Sebastian doesn’t necessarily look jealous. More of… disappointed. If that makes sense. Which it doesn’t, but nothing in Ciel’s life really makes sense anymore. All of this did start because he went to a gay strip club, afterall.

 

What has Ciel’s life become? 

 

~~~

 

“Well, this is home sweet home,” Ciel says as he opens the door to his house - mansion - to Alois, Sebastian, and Claude.

 

Alois visibly gapes and his eyes bulge out of his head. “You live here?” He exclaims and turns to Claude as if to make sure he’s not dreaming.

 

“Obviously,” Ciel mutters.

 

Alois laughs boisterously. “You must be hella rich.”

 

Ciel shrugs. “We’re one of the last noble families in England.” Ciel mentally scolds himself, though. We? Who’s we? There’s no we. There’s only Ciel, now.

 

“Wo-ow,” Alois says, chucking off his shoes and running into the house, doing little twirls with his arms extended. “Where’s the rest of your family?”

 

Ciel chuckles a bit under his breath at this. Of course Alois would expect him to have some sort of family. “It’s just me.”

 

Alois turns and gapes at him. “You live here  _ alone? _ ” 

 

Ciel nods. 

 

“Well, you have to include Tanaka and Finny,” Sebastian mutters to Ciel.

 

“Who’s Finny?” Alois asks, bounding back to Claude’s side.

 

“My other servant. He tends to the gardens,” Ciel answers matter of factly and walks into the house.

 

“‘Other servant?!’” Alois shouts and Ciel begins regretting bringing Alois back home with that. “Claude, can I have servants?”

 

Sebastian chuckles bitterly. “You mean you want another servant besides Claude?”

 

Alois gasps and Ciel hears a thud - he assumes, no, he  _ hopes _ that Alois hits Sebastian for the comment. “Claude is not servant. He’s my friend!”

 

“Who you didn’t remember until today,” Sebastian adds.

 

“How dare -”

 

“Sebastian, please stop antagonizing the witness,” Ciel says loudly without turning around. “I don’t want him to break before I’ve even begun my interrogations.”

 

“Yeah, Sebastian! Be nice!” Alois says and he blows a raspberry. Goodness gracious he’s really immature, isn’t he? What has Ciel done to himself?

 

Ciel leads Alois to his bedroom - something that Alois immediately worships. It’s slightly smaller than Ciel’s room and it’s only a guest room, but Ciel guesses that this is worth royalty in comparison to living in a hospital with crazy people. The walls are a light shade of red and gold leaves and branches swirl around where the ceiling meets the walls. The four poster bed has curtains of gold to match the red sheets and there’s seven pillows on it. Alois buries his face in said pillows with a childish squeal and giggles like a madman. Alois hugs Ciel violently once he’s done admiring the room and Ciel nearly topples over from the massive force Alois crushes him with.

 

“Thank you thank you thank you!” He says and Ciel wonders if this is what it feels like to be in an old fashioned corset. He doesn’t really want to know. 

 

“No problem,” Ciel chokes out.

 

Alois releases his death grip on Ciel and runs back into Claude’s arms. “Can Claude stay with me?” He asks.

 

“Claude has his own home to go back to, Alois,” Sebastian says before adding, “We both do.”

 

Alois sighs but still holds tightly onto Claude. “Okay. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

 

Claude nods and brushes a gloved hand across Alois cheek. “Goodnight, Alois.”

 

Alois shudders from the words and lets go of Claude, and Ciel narrows his eyes suspiciously at the two. 

 

“Goodnight, Claude.”

 

Claude and Sebastian leave without another word to Alois and Ciel, and Ciel just stands there in mild confusion. He wonders briefly whether or not he should ask about the whole ‘goodnight, Alois’ thing but eventually decides against it. He’ll ask later. If Alois remembers anything. Oh shit,  _ if he remembers anything _ . 

 

“Alois, what should I do if you don’t remember anything tomorrow morning?” Ciel asks, suddenly realizing the situation he could face in the morning. That would be extremely awkward and Ciel is already a social disaster as it is. He doesn’t think he can handle a crazy person with memory problems in his house.

 

“Call Claude,” Alois answers without hesitation, not even bothering to look at Ciel. “Regardless of whether or not I remember him, he’ll calm me down. If I panic and he still hasn’t arrived, put him on the phone and let me talk to him.”

 

Ciel is briefly perplexed by Alois’s answer, but Alois answers his unspoken question.

 

“Claude was always the first thing I saw when I woke up in the mornings and the last thing I saw before I fell asleep,” Alois says softly. “The first thing I heard every morning was ‘good morning, Alois’ and the last thing I heard was ‘goodnight, Alois.’” He smiles sadly. “It’s become clockwork for me.”

 

Ciel just stands there, not having a reply for Alois. How do you reply to something like that? Cool? Nice? Sounds comforting? Good for you?

 

“Well then, I guess things are changing now, though, aren’t they?” Alois grins at Ciel and flops down onto the bed. “Well, I don’t care about a shower or anything, I’m just going to sleep now, is that okay?”

 

Ciel nods. Bipolar little fuck. “Of course. You’re had an intense day.”

 

Alois nods in agreement. “Goodnight, Ciel. Thanks for taking me in.”

 

“No problem,” Ciel says softly before leaving Alois in the guest room and shutting the door behind him.

 

What has he gotten himself into?


	5. One Hell of a Tragedy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse into Alois’ life...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my personal favorite chapter... I edited it so much and while doing character “research” I fell in love with the ship.... you guys are probably gonna have a lot of Claude x Alois in the future... sorry.... BUT THE FANDOM NEEDS MORE CONTENT FOR THIS SHIP.

_ The day before the Reaper attack on Alois’ asylum. _

 

“Good morning, Alois.”

 

Alois turns onto his other side and pulls the blankets tighter around him. “Five more minutes,” he mutters sleepily.

 

“Alois. I need to talk to you. It’s important,” the voice says gently.

 

Alois huffs and sits up dramatically. His hair is upturned in a million different directions and he faces the man who sits at the side of his bed. He has thin glasses perched delicately on the bridge of his nose and golden brown eyes peek out from behind them. His hair is also a mess, but some of the dark locks are pushed out of his face and frames elegantly it instead. He’s wearing a simple suit and tie - black and white, how dull - and he’s got violet circles under his eyes. Alois scoffs a bit, how much sleep did the man get last night? 

 

“Well?” Alois demands. “What is it?” He looks around a bit and realizes that it’s a hospital. Why is he in a hospital? “Where’s Luka? Did something happen?”

 

The man sighs a bit sadly and runs a gloved hand through his hair. “Do you know who I am?”

 

Alois huffs and opens his mouth to reply. “Of course I know who you are! You’re-” Alois suddenly silences himself. “You’re…” Alois’ mouth opens and closes like a fish, but nothing comes out. He racks his brain for the name he knows he knows, but nothing comes up. What the hell? He knows this man! He’s… He’s… 

 

The man sighs sadly and says, “It’s okay, Alois. It’s normal.”

 

Alois widens his eyes. “What do you mean it’s normal! It’s not! I know you! I do! I just… I can’t… remember you…” Alois buries his face in his hands. He knows this man, he really does. He’s familiar with the way those stupid locks always fall into his face; the way that mouth smiles gently; the way those hands feel against his cheek… 

 

“Alois. Look at me, please.”

 

Alois lifts his head and is met with molten gold eyes. 

 

“My name is Claude.”

 

Alois smiles after a moment. Yes. That sounds right. Claude. His Claude. “I would introduce myself, but you already know me, don’t you?” Alois says bitterly. 

 

Claude’s lips tug up a bit. “A bit.”

 

Alois looks around again before facing Claude. “Where’s Luka?” Luka is a bit younger than him, so maybe they took him to a different part of the hospital to take care of him properly. He’s still fifteen, they might consider him a ‘child.’

 

Claude cringes a bit. “We need to have a talk about that.”

 

They move to a large, fluffy couch in another room and Claude then explains to Alois his situation. A car accident three years ago. All family dead three years ago. Living in this hospital for the last two years. Knowing Claude for one. It takes Alois an hour or two to take it all in, but he ‘recovers’ quickly enough. 

 

“I’m glad I don’t remember losing him, then,” Alois says. He doesn’t want to remember how painful it must have been, losing Luka. The pain rises into Alois’ chest and he immediately shuts it away. He can’t think about that right now. He can’t be weak. He can’t be a burden. But his thoughts still stray a bit. His brother. Alois was supposed to wake up next to his brother and begin another day of hell in the orphanage. Luka was supposed to wake him with bony hands and call him ‘your highness.’ Luka is supposed to be alive. Luka was supposed to be here. Instead, Alois woke up to a man he can’t remember. 

 

“You don’t have to act tough, Alois,” Claude says softly. “I’ve seen you break down before.”

 

Alois scoffs. “I know. But I don’t want to break down. In my mind I don’t even know you.” Alois grits his teeth and balls his hands into fists. Of course this man has seen Alois at his weak points. He must know just how much of a burden Alois is.

 

Claude simply nods. 

 

“Why are you even here, anyways? You don’t look like a shrink. Most shrinks are really smiley and fake.” Alois shudders at the memory of Ms. Annafellows. She was a genuinely nice person, but Alois always felt helpless under her care. He didn’t want to feel pitied.

 

“I work part time here. I’m a soldier, but I’ve got too much spare time on my hands.”

 

Alois raises a brow at this. “You’re a soldier? Why waste your time here with the crazy people?”

 

Claude shrugs. “I find crazy people comforting.”

 

Alois snorts. “You’d rather hang with crazy people than your girlfriend or something?” 

 

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” Claude states simply.

 

“Boyfriend?” Alois taunts. There’s no way this beautiful person is single, even if he is a bit crazy.

 

Claude sighs. “Is it really that hard to believe that I am willingly spending my time here?”

 

“Yes,” Alois says immediately. “I know I would be anywhere but here right now. I don’t understand why you’d be here willingly.”

 

Claude says nothing and stands up. He extends a single hand to Alois and waits. “Well? Do you want to go somewhere else or not?”

 

Alois stares at him suspiciously. “Why should I trust you? You could be a serial killer. Or a rapist.”

 

“Do you really believe that?” Claude asks. “We’ve known each other for over a year, and almost everyday I take you somewhere away from this bleach infested hell hole. I haven’t killed you yet.”

 

“I don’t remember any of the past two years, and you could just be biding your time,” Alois mutters.

 

“If I truly wanted to kill you, I think I would have done it a long time ago,” Claude sighs.

 

“Am I that much of a burden?” Alois shoots, narrowing his eyes at Claude. 

 

Claude sighs before sitting down next to Alois. His expression looks bored and impatient, but for some reason it doesn’t make feel Alois uncomfortable. It just feels natural. “You’re not a burden, Alois. Not to me. I’m sure you have plenty of questions for me, but would you rather ask them outside of the hospital? It’s shit in here.”

 

Alois looks down at his hands and fiddles with them. He wants to go, he really does. He’d do anything to leave this place, it seems to choke him. So what if Claude is some serial killer? You only live once. 

 

“Let’s go.” 

 

Claude leads him out of the hospital with little flourish. They walk at a brisk pace and no one pays them any mind. The nurses only nod when Claude tells them he’s taking Alois out, and they buzz the door open and mutter a half-hearted goodbye. As they make their way through the indoor parking lot, Alois looks to each of the cars and tries to remember which one is Claude’s. He has to remember something, so maybe he can remember Claude’s car. He’s already familiar with Claude, so why not familiar with his car? However, when his eyes land on a sleek motorcycle with two helmets hanging off of the handles, he knows that Claude is not someone to ride a car to work. He grins and admires the ride. 

 

“The motorcycle,” Alois says quickly. “It’s yours. Right?”

 

Claude looks to Alois with a slightly suprised expression and smiles. “Yes. It’s mine.”

 

Alois grins hugely. “I remembered,” he says proudly, putting his hands on his hips. 

 

“Yes. You did.” Claude offers him a small smile and Alois treats it like a knighthood. He has a feeling that Claude is not someone who smiles a lot.

 

The second helmet fits Alois perfectly and everything feels so natural when he’s seated behind Claude. The speed of the motorcycle scares him a bit at first, but once he’s wrapped his arms tightly around Claude’s waist and buried his face in between his Claude’s shoulder blades, he feels safe. The wind rushing past them and the buildings zipping past his line of sight comforts him, and he feels free. The sunlight warms his cold cheeks and glee and adrenaline slowly fills Alois. There’s a certain excitement building in his body as he rides with Claude, and it frees him. It frees him from the pain and the loss and the claustrophobia of the hospital and his Claude is the key to all of this. Once he’s gained enough confidence and there aren’t many cars around them, Alois slowly retracts his arms from Claude’s waist and throws them out beside his body. He shouts in glee and relishes in the air rushing past him. 

 

“I’m flying!” He shouts to no one in particular. He erupts into giggles and violent laughs and he has to cling onto Claude again to prevent certain death.  _ So this is what bliss feels like. _

 

Claude takes them to a little cafe next to the Thames and Alois orders the biggest and creamiest hot chocolate they have. Claude orders a simple coffee and they take their seats facing the skyline.

 

“It’s so big,” Alois says softly. “The sky.”

 

Claude chuckles. “You usually like wherever I take you, but you always love this a little more.”

 

Alois turns to Claude with narrowed eyes. “How many times have you taken me here?”

 

“One hundred and three, counting today,” Claude answers in a heartbeat.

 

“ _ One hundred and fifty three?! _ ” Alois shouts, and Claude has to glare at him before he calms down enough. “You’ve taken me here  _ fifty seven _ times?”

 

Claude nods. “Yes.”

 

“But… why… don’t you…” Alois splutters and sinks back down into his chair angrily. “Why would you do that?”

 

Claude smiles gently. “Because you like it here,” he answers simply. 

 

“But don’t you get bored?” Alois asks. 

 

“Of what?” Claude turns his face to look at Alois and his expression is calm and, dare Alois say, happy. 

 

“All of this,” Alois answers softly. “Of the coffee here. Of me. Surely we’ve had this conversation a million times before.”

 

Claude hums while taking another sip of his coffee. “I usually order something different every time I come here, and while we’ve talked about this before, you always say something different.”

 

Alois thinks over Claude’s words for a moment. “You aren’t bored of me?” He asks hesitantly.

 

“No,” Claude says.

 

The pair sit in silence for a few minutes, and Alois feels this warmth spreading slowly throughout his body. It’s probably just from the hot chocolate, but there’s something more to it. It’s something in his soul, as well. He’s not sure what it is, but ‘hope’ seems like a good term for it. He hopes that Claude cares for him. He has a feeling that not many people in the world care for him anymore, ever since Luka’s death. He hopes that Claude cares for him, even if it’s just a little bit. He hopes that he means something to the tall, dark and handsome man sipping coffee next to Alois. 

 

“Claude?” He asks gently.

 

“Hm?” 

 

“Why do you keep coming back? To take care of me?” The words leave Alois quietly, and he immediately regrets them. He shouldn’t ask Claude this, he already knows the answer. He’s just a burden to Claude and he’s just doing his job and it’s all pointless. All of his silly hopes are based on foolish dreams.

 

“Because I like you,” Claude answers simply. 

 

Alois stares at him in shock. “Why?” He exclaims. “How could you like someone like me?” Alois is fairly sure he’s a horrible person, especially since he can’t remember most of the last three years.

 

“What do you mean by that?” Claude narrows his eyes playfully at Alois. “What do you mean by ‘someone like you?’”

 

“I’m just a burden, aren’t I? Some crazy person you have to help out.” Alois turns his head away and pouts. It was a stupid thing to do, asking Claude about this.

 

“I literally just said that I do this because I like you, Alois,” Claude says. He grabs Alois’ chin gently and turns his head so he looks at Claude, who’s now  _ very _ close to Alois. “You’re not a burden. To other people, maybe, but not to me. You’re broken, yes, but that hasn’t changed who you are. You keep going. You keep fighting. And you’re bipolar as fuck, so that usually keeps things interesting.” Claude smirks. “And you’re something separate from my work, so that’s a plus.”

 

“How do you know who I am?” Alois asks. “You only know crazy me. Not the real me.”

 

Claude shrugs. “I know you like chocolate. I know you have a strange obsession with booty shorts. You like puppies but hate dogs. Cats are all fine as long as they don’t claw you. Sushi is heaven unless it has avocado in it, and then it just becomes hell itself. Spongebob is your secret favorite TV show. Your favorite color is gold because it reminds you of Luka for some reason. You don’t know who either of your parents are, and you tell Luka that you’re the secret children of some distant royal family. You feel lonely, but you always tell yourself Luka is enough. Luka always called you ‘your highness’ but you always thought Luka was the real king in your little broken family. When you found out that Luka was sick with pneumonia, you slept with men for money.” Claude’s voice has become a whisper by now and Alois finds tears stinging the back of his eyes. In the eyes that Claude is staring so intently into. Claude brushes some of the hair out of Alois’ eyes and continues. “You hate everyone, but the one thing you want in life is to be loved again.” 

 

Alois curses the tears that slip past his eyes and he does his best to hold back the sobs. He tries to say something, anything, but he can’t find the right words. How do you reply to something like that? He can’t remember anything about Claude, nothing solid, anyways, but Claude knows everything about him. Claude has somehow gained his trust in only two days and learned this much. No, scratch that. Claude has known Alois for a year and every two days, Alois forgets him. Claude has taken his time to build Alois’ trust in the million of two days they’ve had, and Alois lets him in. Alois has given Claude his trust. And he can’t even remember anything about Claude and how he’s earned that trust.

 

“Do I trust you?” Alois whispers. “Do I let you take care of me?” It’s been a while since Alois let someone in who isn’t Luka.

 

Claude gathers Alois in his arms and holds him tightly. Alois chokes out a few sobs and buries his face in Claude’s chest. “Yes,” Claude whispers into Alois’ hair. “You let me in.”

 

Alois cries softly. He’s not sure why he’s crying - whether or not it’s from relief, or pain, or joy, or just because he can. Alois has always been dramatic, he wouldn’t be surprised if he started crying just because he wanted to. But, he has a good excuse this time. He’s lost his brother. He’s lost his memories. He’s lost three years of his life and the only thing good in it right now is Claude.

 

“I love you, Claude,” Alois whispers into Claude’s chest. “I know I can’t remember you, but I know I love you. You’re the only person I can love.”

 

Claude kisses Alois’ head softly. “I know.”

 

_ I know. _

 

The words ring through Alois’ head as the pair spends the rest of the day sightseeing. They don’t do anything that would cost money - unless they’re satisfying Alois’ sweet tooth - but they walk along the Thames and through the gardens near Buckingham Palace. Claude and Alois talk about pointless things - such as poodles and whether or not they are demons sent from hell - and halfway through their walk, Alois slips his hand into Claude’s.  _ I know.  _ He waits to be scolded by Claude or told to stop being clingy, but Claude does no such thing. He simply holds onto Alois’ hand and occasionally rubs his thumb against Alois’ hand in a comforting manner.  _ I know.  _ Alois then focuses on nothing but the way Claude’s hand fits with his. Claude’s hand is much bigger than his, but it wraps around Alois’ hand perfectly and their fingers slot together in such a natural way. Alois feels safe next to Claude and believes that nothing but himself can take Claude away from him. 

 

_ I know. _

 

_ I love you, Claude,  _ Alois thinks.  _ I can’t even remember you but for some reason I love you. And you know that. You know this pain that’s etched into my soul and you know my love for you. _

 

_ The real question, however, is whether or not you love me back. _

 

They head back to the hospital all too soon and Alois finds himself desperately clinging to Claude all the way back. 

 

“Will you be back tomorrow?” Alois asks quietly when they enter his blank and boring room.  _ Do you love me back? _

 

Claude squeezes Alois’ hand reassuringly. “Always.”  _ Is that a yes? _

 

Alois throws himself into Claude’s arms and drags him into his bed. “I don’t want you to leave me.”  _ Please tell me you love me. _

 

Claude chuckles and sits closely next to Alois, his arms still around his little boy. “I have to go back home.”  _ Maybe he doesn’t. _

 

“What if you just don’t go home tonight?” Alois asks. “Why can’t you just stay for one night?”

 

“Because once I do, I’ll never go back home,” Claude admits quietly.  _ Maybe he does. _

 

“Is that so horrible?” Alois asks.  _ Is it bad, to love me back?  _ “You said you like spending time with me, so why do you have to leave?”

 

Claude sighs and kisses Alois’ forehead softly. “I can’t join you just yet, Alois,” he says softly. “There are still lose ends to tie up.”  _ You can’t love me back, yet.  _

 

Alois groans and drags Claude down so they lie next to each other. “Can you at least stay until I fall asleep?”  _ Can you pretend you love me until that yet? _

 

“I can do that,” Claude says. 

 

Alois smiles into Claude’s chest and cuddles closer into the warmth he provides - physically and emotionally.  _ I love you and I’ll let you love me. _

 

“Goodnight, Alois.”

 

~~~

 

Alois shoots out of bed the next morning and desperately looks for Claude when he isn’t sitting at his chair with massive bedhead. He runs to a couple nurses in the hall and demands to know where Claude is, but all of them just tell him sweetly that they don’t know. Damn it! He said he’d be back! 

 

_ You said you knew! _

 

Alois runs to the main office he remembers from yesterday and asks the nurses there. These ones seem to know a little bit more about the patients they’re taking care of, because one of them sits Alois down and gets on the phone.

 

“He can’t be here at the moment, but Nurse Luisa is calling him now, okay?” One of the nurses tells him.

 

Alois nods and tries to calm himself down. Everything is going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay. 

 

_ He knows. _

 

“Alois,” Nurse Luisa says. “Claude’s on the phone.” She points to the phone in her hand and hands it to eager Alois.

 

_ I know.  _

 

“Hello?” Alois says frantically.

 

“Good morning, Alois,” Claude says, and Alois feels all of the stress in his body slowly disappear. The words are like magic.

 

“Where are you?” Alois asks meekly. “You said you’d be here.”

 

_ You said you knew. _

 

Claude sighs and Alois hopes that Claude isn’t bored of him. Please no. “Something came up at work.”

 

“Soldier stuff?” Alois chuckles halfheartedly. 

 

_ You know, don’t you? _

 

“Yes,” Clause says softly. “We got a tip about a terrorist group we’re tracking down, and we’re trying to stop them before they can hurt anyone.”

 

“Stay safe,” Alois says softly. “Stay safe and then come back to me.”

 

_ Come back and love me. _

 

“I will,” Claude promises. 

 

_ “Claude,” _ another voice on the phone says.

 

“Who’s that?” Alois asks.

 

Claude sighs and says, “A coworker, give me a moment.”

 

_ “What do you want, Sebastian?”  _ Claude’s voice distances itself from the speaker. 

 

_ “Holmes said he figured out where the Reapers are heading. We need to get to Ciel, and quickly.”  _ The other voice says, and it sounds a bit worried. 

 

_ “Got it. Give a minute, though.” _

 

_ “We don’t have a minute, Claude,”  _ the voice spits. 

 

Claude sighs and then talks to Alois again. “Alois, I have to go. But I’ll be there later today, okay?”

 

“Okay,” Alois whispers. “Be back before I forget you again.”

 

_ Be back before I forget this stupid love. _

 

Claude is silent for a moment, but he then replies, “I will.”

 

The call ends without another word and Alois stares at the phone hopelessly. He gives it back to the nurse and wanders back to his room. This dull, white, boring room. It has nothing in it to make it his, and all he wants is Claude. There’s no pictures and no personal belongings littering the place, but he doesn’t want any of that. He just wants Claude in here with him. He wants Claude to come take him away from this hellhole. He flops down onto the bed and buries his face into the pillow, and a warm scent floods his senses. 

 

_ It smells like Claude,  _ Alois realizes, and he curls into the bed and breathes in the scent. Claude, Claude, Claude. Alois doesn’t even know the man, but he’s grown attached to the very thought of him. Claude was here when he woke up. Claude knows who he is. Claude protects him from this shitty world.  _ Stay safe, my Claude. My Claude. My Claude. _ Alois doesn’t want to lose the man he just started falling in love with again.

 

~~~

 

Alois falls asleep wrapped around his pillows and wrapped in Claude’s scent, but something wakes him up from his peaceful slumber. He’s dreaming about Claude and the delicious hot chocolate when the atmosphere in the dream suddenly changes. The sky turned grey and everything suddenly becomes too small or too large. Anxiety courses through his veins and it feels like he’s wearing the wrong skin. Claude disappears into dust and Alois is left alone in the crumbling world of dream-London. He claws at his arms but the pain doesn’t do anything. 

 

_ Wake up wake up wake up! _ Alois screams into his mind, and he lurches his whole body  _ up _ and then he’s opening his eyes. The nightmare leaves him but the anxiety does not. He glances over at the clock and it reads 13:14. Sitting up slowly, he looks around, hoping to see Claude sitting in his chair, sipping black coffee. But Claude isn’t there. No one is. The room is dreadfully quiet and Alois begins realizing that it’s too quiet for the hospital. There should be the clicking of the nurses’ heels and the occasional burst of laughter from the common room. 

 

What’s going on? 

 

Alois quietly crosses his room to the door and presses his ear against it. He can hear footsteps - heavy ones, nothing like high heels or slippers - and dark murmurings floating through the hall. Confused, Alois cracks the door open and peeks a single eye out. He can’t see anyone through the slit and he mentally curses before opening the door enough to peek the top of his head out. He looks to the right and sees no one, but he hears voices coming from the common room. He gingerly walks out of the room and tiptoes into the hall, and while doing so he realizes that he isn’t wearing any shoes. Oh well, shoes would have only made him louder. 

 

Creeping down the hall, he makes his way to the common room and the sight that greets him is not pleasant. Patients are on their knees and soldiers dressed in black pace back and forth. Some of the patients are held at gunpoint, but none of the soldiers speak at volume. No demands are made, just soft whispers as some of the soldiers collect all of the medication and put it into large plastic bags. 

 

Alois gently moves backward - hoping to make it back to his room and hide there until Claude arrives - but he backs into something large and firm. He whips around and tries not to scream, but there stands before him a large man dressed in black uniform and hiding behind a red mask. Alois’ scream is muffled by the man’s hand and Alois kicks and thrashes in his grasp. He will not be kidnapped by some terrorist! He is Alois Trancy! He fights and fights but the man is relentless and holds Alois’ arms and legs, restraining any movement that could free him. Another soldier comes over and duct tapes his mouth closed and arms and legs together, and they place him in line with the other patients. 

 

The more elderly patients don’t seem too bothered by the soldiers pacing about with guns in hand, and the younger ones are more confused than scared. Alois scoffs as much as he can with the duct tape over his mouth. Of course no one is doing anything much to fight back - they’re all crazy here, for goodness sake. 

 

Nothing happens for a few minutes and the boredom does absolutely nothing to calm Alois’ anxiety, but then one of the soldiers then removes his mask to reveal striking yellow hair and round glasses. Behind those red glasses, are the greenest eyes Alois has ever seen. They hold the same color as fresh grass and they look like what Alois would imagine Mother Nature’s eyes to look like. They look like life. With heavy boots and a cocky gait, the soldier walks up to the center of the room and clears his throat. 

 

“My name is Ronald Knox,” the man says. “I am a member of the organization known as the Grim Reapers. I am not here to kill you.” He pauses and looks at everyone slowly, and when his eyes meet Alois’, Alois sneers at him. Well, he tries to, but the duct tape makes it kinda hard. “The Reapers believe in the balance of life, and the world is helping you in the wrong ways. We are here to heal you the proper way in which Mother Nature intended us to do.”

 

Soldiers all come up to an individual patient, and they gently place their hands on the patients’ necks. Alois flinches when cold gloves touch his neck and he tries to move away, but the soldier grips his shoulder tightly and holds him in place.

 

“Your memories will be restored. You will suffer no more.”

 

The soldier in front of Alois presses against a certain spot behind is head and suddenly everything goes fuzzy. The lights seem to make little crosses in Alois’ eyes and breathing suddenly becomes a struggle.  _ How does one breathe? Do we need to breathe? _ Alois falls to the floor and suddenly gunshots fill the air. The sound rings in Alois’ ears and they keep on ringing and ringing and Alois tries to clutch at his ears but he can’t. His wrists strain against the duct tape and the duct tape over his mouth pulls painfully on his cheeks. 

 

_ Funny. The Ronald guy said we’d suffer no more… and here we are.. waiting for death… _

 

Alois chuckles mournfully. Is this how he will die? On the floor like some dog? Waiting for terrorists to fill him with bullets?

 

Why not. Alois hates living anyways. There’s nothing good in life, not ever since Luka died. The hospitals have been boring and cruel and a way for God to mock his pain. Why should he live while Luka rots? The first hospital was so noisy and busy, and all of the nurses weren’t even falsely happy - they just stared at him with bored expressions and none of them even cared. The second one was better, but everything was so dull and repetitive. He’d wake up to white, and he’d relive his heartbreak over Luka. The second day would just be filled with the dread of forgetting again, and all of his escape plans were pointless. He’d just forget everything the next day. He tried starting a journal to remember everything he’s done, but it just became painful to reread the words he can’t even remember writing down. He went through five journals while trying the same idea, but they eventually stopped. 

 

They stopped because of Claude.

 

One second day, Alois woke up to a dull voice saying ‘good morning,’ and there sat a bored looking man with messy hair. Alois hated him immediately. He was so dull and boring and he looked like he didn’t give two shits about what happened to Alois. But then he was extending his hand and suggesting coffee. He would pepper Alois with questions as they walked down to the parking lot. Did Alois drink coffee? Would he prefer something else? Where would he like to go? He would stop at a sleek motorcycle and Alois would always laugh at the image of Claude standing next to that thing. They seemed to be polar opposites. 

 

Claude took Alois to a little cafe next to the Thames and Big Ben was in view. Alois ordered the biggest hot chocolate they had, and Claude ordered a latte. They sat in silence and Claude began explaining to Alois that he was new here, and that he would be working with Alois for a while.

 

“You gonna try to fix me?” Alois taunted. That’s what shrinks did, right? They tried to fix the people who didn’t fit in society. Broken people.

 

“No.”

 

Alois turned his head in surprise. “They why are you even here? Come to taunt me and get your rocks off to some crazy person?”

 

Claude sighed and looked at Alois with brown eyes that glowed gold in the sunlight. “No. I’m here to try to understand you. To help you.”

 

“Wouldn’t you help me by fixing me?” Alois asked.

 

“I can’t fix you, Alois. I’m no medical genius. I’m just a soldier who takes comfort with the other broken people in this world.”

 

“So you admit I’m broken,” Alois said. 

 

“So what?” Claude narrowed his eyes. “Who cares if you’re broken? You’re still a person.”

 

Alois leaned back into his chair and wrapped his jacket a little tighter around himself. “Society cares that I’m broken.”

 

“Fuck society,” Claude said, and Alois raised his eyebrows at the swear word.

 

“Language, Claude. I’m only seventeen.”

 

Claude looked at Alois with sad eyes. “You turned eighteen a few months ago.”

 

Alois froze and looked at his hands. “Doesn’t mean you can just cuss like that. It’s improper.”

 

Claude shrugged. “So society says. And I say fuck society.”

 

Alois couldn’t hold back the laugh, and Claude looked at Alois with surprise. The look of surprise on his face only made Alois laugh harder and he threw his head back and squealed in delight.

 

“Are you alright, Alois?” Claude asked.

 

“Fuck society,” Alois said simply. “Fuck society.”

 

Claude smiled a bit and looked up to the sky. “Fuck society.”

 

Claude took Alois back to the hospital and Alois didn’t want the night to end.

 

“Will I forget you tomorrow?” Alois murmured when they arrived in his room.

 

“Yes,” Claude bluntly stated. “But I’ll be here when you wake up.”

 

Alois turned to Claude in surprise. “Really?”

 

Claude nods. “I’ll be sticking with you for a while.”

 

“How long is a while?” Alois asked quietly.

 

“I’m not sure.”

 

A while seemed like forever. Claude was there whenever he could be, and if he didn’t show up, Claude would call and talk to him for a while. They often talked about the same things, but Alois, being the bipolar little fuck he is, was never really the same. Claude soon became a pattern Alois couldn’t recognize in his life, and Alois became a pattern in Claude’s. Late nights were spent talking about pointless things or their fears and pains, but they became something else. A different type of tension filled the air, and Alois would dare to kiss Claude gently on the cheek. Nothing more. Not for a while.

 

But those late nights soon became nights of passion, where deep kisses and heavy breathes floated through the air to become a orchestra of secrets. The second night usually sang this song, but every first morning, Alois would forget it. The next second night would always be the same, though, and Alois kept falling in love with Claude. Again he fell, and again, and again, until it was expected. His forgotten dreams were filled with Claude and his warmth, and it’s pitiful how much Alois loves the man he can’t remember. 

 

Pitiful how he can’t remember the feeling of those kisses.

 

Pitiful how he can’t remember the hungry look in Claude’s eyes.

 

Pitiful how he can only remember the ghost of Claude’s touch.

 

_ Alois! _

 

Alois groans softly and remembers the cold tile pressed against his face.

 

_ Alois! _

 

Funny, how he hears Claude’s voice when he’s at death’s doorstep. Perhaps it’s the angels greeting him as he nears heaven. No, it’s the angels mocking him as he descends into hell. 

 

_ Alois, wake up. _

 

Alois groans and turns a little. He doesn’t want to wake up. Waking up means living and Alois isn’t sure if he wants to do that anymore. He’ll take hell. At least he can maybe catch a glimpse of Luka up there in heaven.

 

“Alois. You need to wake up. Please.”

 

His wrists are released from their sticky prison and the duct tape on his mouth is cruelty ripped off.

 

“Ow!” He shouts, his hands flying up to rub the tender skin. “What was that for!” He blinks his eyes open and waits for his eyes to adjust to the cruel hospital lights. Or the cruel fires of hell, he’s not sure which one it is.

 

“Would you rather I peeled it off slowly and painfully, Alois?” 

 

When his eyes adjust, it’s Claude that’s kneeling before him, and his hair is falling into his eyes and he looks like a mess.

 

“Claude?” Alois whispers. 

 

Claude sighs and chuckles softly. “It is I.”

 

Alois throws himself into Claude’s arms and squeals in delight. “You came!”  _ You’re here. _

 

Claude hugs Alois back and buries his face into Alois’ shoulder.  “Of course I came.”  _ Do you remember? _

 

_ Do you remember my love? _

 

The pair sit there in comfortable warmth, but it’s disturbed all too soon by someone coughing very pointedly and annoyingly.

 

Claude detaches himself a bit from Alois and looks up at the man who had coughed so rudely. “Did you secure the room?”

 

The other man sighs and replies. “What do you take me for, Claude? An idiot?”

 

Claude shrugs and Alois narrows his eyes at the other man. “Who are  _ you _ ?” Alois asks.

 

The man raises a brow and chuckles. “I’m the Archangel.” The ‘Archangel’ is tall and thin like Claude, but he seems to be a bit more feminine than Claude. He also has black hair which falls into his eyes, but his eyes are a deep maroon and they remind Alois of a demon’s eyes. Ironic, considering his name.

 

“Archangel, huh? Weird name,” Alois says, and he snuggles a bit more into Claude. “Are you Claude’s brother or something?”

 

The man laughs, but it seems a bit sad. “No. I’m Claude’s boyfriend.”

 

Alois freezes in Claude’s arms and stares at Archangel incredulously. “His  _ boyfriend? _ ” Alois exclaims. He looks back to Claude and silently begs for an explanation. What about those nights they spent together? The heated kisses? Claude’s never mentioned a boyfriend! Never!

 

_ You said you knew.  _

 

“Yes, Alois,” Claude says quietly. “He’s my boyfriend.”

 

_ I guess you always knew… but you just can’t return this feeling. _

 

“How long have you to been together?” Alois demands.

 

“Ooh, ten, eleven years?” Archangel says, a playful expression on his face. “Something like that.”

 

“Ten, eleven years?” Alois says softly, and he grips onto Claude’s jacket with more force. All this time, Claude never told Alois about this guy? About his goddamn boyfriend? The material is rough against Alois’ hands, and he numbly realizes that it’s not his usual suit and jacket. It’s a uniform. A soldier’s combat uniform. 

 

“You’re in uniform,” Alois notes quietly.  _ You know so much more than I do. _

 

Claude nods. “We were sent here to intercept the Reapers before they got here, but turns out we were a little late.”

 

“I wonder why,” Archangel mutters and Claude shoots him a nasty look.

 

“Those were the Reapers?” Alois asks. He remembers Claude talking about them before, something about them being violent hippies. “The violent hippies?” He smiles at the memory, Claude was so emotional that day.

 

Claude chuckles and nods. “Yeah, the violent hippies…” Claude trails off and his eyes suddenly widen. “Alois?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

Claude’s eyes narrow and he presses a hand against Alois’ forehead. “Are you okay? What did they do to you?”

 

Alois pushes Claude’s hand away and groans. “They duct taped me and threw me on the ground, it’s nothing that serious. I’m still alive, aren’t I?” Alois laughs bitterly.

 

_ I’m alive to keep loving you as I wait for your love. But I don’t have your love, do I? _

 

Claude’s expression remains unchanged. “You remembered the ‘violent hippies’ joke.”

 

Now it’s Alois’ turn to narrow his eyes. “Of course I remember that stupid joke. You were feeling like shit that day and that was the  _ only  _ thing you laughed at.”

 

Claude loosens his grip on Alois. “That was a month ago, Alois.”

 

Alois stares at Claude in confusion when it suddenly hits him. 

 

He remembers. 

 

Alois freezes in Claude’s arms and looks blankly at the tiled floor.

 

The coffee.

 

The jokes.

 

The tears.

 

The kisses.

 

The promises.

 

The warmth.

 

The heat.

 

The pain.

 

The accident.

 

His Luka.

 

“Radio the Guard Dog.”

 

“I’m doing it.”

 

“And Red.”

 

“I’m _doing_ _it_ , Claude.”

 

“Alois? Alois can you look at me?”

 

“Alois please.”

 

“Alois.”

 

He remembers.


	6. One Hell of an Emotional Rollercoaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel and Alois talk

“Ciel, why do you seem to hate Sebastian so much?” Alois asks Ciel, and normally Ciel would be fine with questions. But you see, Ciel isn’t prepared for this one. Not because Alois toeing the line of a personal question. It’s more of the fact that Alois is currently laying next to Ciel in Ciel’s own bed. At five in the morning. 

 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Ciel shouts, throwing himself across his very large bed and covering himself with the blankets. He winces, however, when he hits his brace on the way, and it feels like shit.

 

Alois shrugs. “I couldn’t sleep. And I found your room. And it’s morning now, so I thought I could come in.”

 

“It’s still dark out!” Ciel wildly gestures with his good hand to the darkness outside of his window. 

 

“So?” Alois crosses his arms and pouts a bit. “Aren’t soldiers supposed to wake before the sun rises? That’s what Claude told me.”

 

“I’m not a soldier!” Ciel groans, throwing himself back onto the pillows. He suspects that getting rid of Alois is not a likely situation. 

 

Alois cocks his head. “Really? But you were leading the men yesterday…”

 

Ciel rubs his eyes with the base of his palm, wondering why did he take in the bipolar witness. Was it pity? Perhaps. Curiosity? Probably. “I lead the men, but I’m more of businessman. I control all of the pieces in the fight against the Reapers.”

 

“The ones who attacked yesterday, right? The ones who are supposedly lead by the Spear?”

 

Ciel sits up and eyes Alois suspiciously. “How do you know that?”

 

“Claude told me,” Alois says cheerfully, and he begins playing with his feet and rocking back and forth like some bored child.

 

“Of course he did,” Ciel mutters. “Can you go back to sleep? Or at least let me sleep?”

 

“But I’m bored…” Alois whines. 

 

Ciel has to use every ounce of willpower he has at five in the morning to not murder Alois. Boredom is not a worthy excuse to disturb Ciel’s much needed sleep. “And how exactly am I supposed to help with that?”

 

“Gossip,” Alois drawls, but he then breaks his ‘seductive’ expression with a childish giggle. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding.”

 

Ciel narrows his eyes at Alois and tries to find a comfortable sitting position amongst all of his pillows. “What if we start some casual interrogations?” Ciel suggests.

 

“ _ Casual interrogations? _ ” Alois enunciates. “That’s just even more boring!”

 

Ciel mentally curses his lack of social skills and ever-present workaholic mode. “I meant talking about your life at the hospital. What exactly you remember.”

 

Alois wrinkles his nose. “Still sounds boring.”

 

Ciel groans in frustration and glares at Alois. “Fine! Then what do  _ you _ want to talk about?”

 

Alois thinks for a moment and places a single finger on his chin, tapping it thoughtfully. He thinks for a whole four seconds before he shoots up with a wicked smile. “Claude!” 

 

Ciel blinks at him. “Claude?”

 

Alois nods. “I want to talk about him, and I want to know what you know about him.”

 

“Okay?” Ciel says, settling back into the pillows. ‘What do you want to know?”

 

“Is he really dating Sebastian?” Alois whispers as he settles into the pillows very close to Ciel. 

 

“Yes,” Ciel states boredly and coldly. “Next question.”

 

“No need to be so mean,” Alois whines, whacking Ciel’s shoulder lightly. Ciel actually thinks that he has every right to be mean since Alois is waking him up just because he’s  _ bored _ , but Ciel reminds himself that this is a traumatized witness who may be able to aid him in his struggle against Sebastian. 

 

“Fine. I’ll try to be nicer.”

 

Alois grins and jumps a little in the bed, causing it to shake and rock Ciel’s body. This is going to be great.

 

“How long as Claude been with Sebastian?” Alois whispers.

 

“How the hell would I know?” Ciel exclaims. “I barely know either of them, they’re just my soldiers.”

 

“But you and Sebastian seem to know each other pretty well,” Alois notes, playing with a piece of his golden hair.

 

Ciel scoffs. The only thing Sebastian and Ciel know about each other is their bodies. The way Sebastian’s hands feel against Ciel’s skin… the way Sebastian rocks into Ciel’s hips… how deep his voice can get when he acts possessive… nononononononononononoNO. Ciel shakes his violently to clear his head of such vulgar thoughts. This is  _ not  _ happening. The Phantomhive pride will not be spat on like this. He is better than some low stripper! He is stronger than Sebastian’s seductive games!

 

“We don’t,” Ciel says. “We know nothing about each other.”

 

Alois raises a brow at this. “You sure…?” 

 

“Yes.”

 

Alois chuckles. “Sure sure. Whatever gets you through the night.”

 

Ciel eyes him carefully. “What on earth do you mean by that?”

 

“‘What on earth do you mean by that?’” Alois mimics Ciel’s thick London accent and laughs. “I know you’re lying. I’m not that stupid.”

 

“I’m not lying!” Ciel says. “Sebastian and I know absolutely nothing about each other!”

 

Alois eyes Ciel and scoots a bit closer. “You sure about that?”

 

“Yes!” Ciel groans. “He’s my soldier. Nothing more.”

 

Alois shrugs. “And your butler.”

 

“He’s not my butler,” Ciel spits. “How the hell do you know about the butler deal?”

 

Alois grins. “Before I woke you up, I bumped into Mr. Tanaka and he answered some of my questions. I know Sebastian is working part time with you as your butler/assistant for work. And I also know you are extremely against the arrangement for some reason.”

 

“I want nothing to do with that man!” Ciel says. “He acts as if this is some sort of game and he keeps contradicting his words against his actions!”

 

“Really?” Alois leans in. “What exactly has he done?”

 

“He’s acted like we had something special and then-” Ciel cuts himself and stares coldly at Alois. “I’m not telling you anything.”

 

Alois whines and pouts dramatically. “But Ci-el… I won’t tell anyone.”

 

“Just Claude,” Ciel states.

 

Alois opens his mouth to retaliate but then shuts it in defeat. “If I promise not to tell Claude, will you tell me?”

 

“Your promises mean nothing to me, Trancy.”

 

Alois gasps and puts a hand on his heart. “Don’t refer to me by my surname! We are literally gossiping together and here you are, distancing yourself.”

 

“We are not gossiping.”

 

Alois shrugs. “Fine. We’re not. But we’re acting quite personal with each other, so please don’t call me that.”

 

“Fine,” Ciel grits out. “I won’t,  _ Alois _ .”

 

Alois grins. “See? Was that so hard?”

 

_ Yes, it kinda was. _ Ciel doesn’t respond to Alois.

 

“Now, if I pinky promise, will you please please  _ please _ tell me about what happened between Sebastian and you?” Alois bats his eyelashes and Ciel swears he looks so much like a girl like this. 

 

“Why would I trust you?” Ciel asks.

 

“Because I will tell you something about Claude and me. Something  _ very  _ personal,” Alois drawls.

 

“I’m not sure I want to know,” Ciel says, shuddering at the image of any vaguely sexual occurring between the two. Most of it would be sick fantasies dreamed up by Alois, anyways. It’s not like Claude would cheat on Sebastian, he’s far too possessive for that.

 

Alois pouts. “Just tell me!” 

 

Ciel sighs and buries himself with the pillows. But what if Claude did cheat on Sebastian? What if Alois knows something Ciel doesn’t? He decides that he needs this information. He needs to know the truth. About Claude. Sebastian. Alois. The Reapers. Everything. “I don’t really know anything about Sebastian. Not really. I only know his… personality, I guess? I don’t know any facts about his life or history, but I can tell you how he would react to certain things. How his brain works.” But Ciel also knows Sebastian’s body, and he knows it so well. The way he walks, the way he dances, the way he moves against Ciel.

 

Alois nods. “I guess that kinda makes sense? Now, why do you hate Sebastian right now? Did he do something? You said earlier that you guys had something special.”

 

Ciel grits his teeth and crosses his arms awkwardly with his brace.  _ Here come the personal questions. _ “I thought we did. But I was begins stupid and naive. There was nothing.” Nothing but a physical lust.

 

“Really?” Alois cocks his head again. “But you two look at each other with a certain type of longing when you think the other isn’t looking.”

 

Ciel snaps his head up. “No we don’t!”

 

“You do!” Alois says. “You look at Sebastian like he betrayed you, and he looks at you like you’re something untouchable but so desirable.”

 

“I am untouchable,” Ciel mutters, but Alois pokes at his cheek and Ciel nearly rips Alois’ offending finger off.

 

“Touchable~” Alois sings quietly. 

 

Ciel snarls at Alois and Alois raises his hands in surrender and backs off. No one messes with a Phantomhive like that.

 

“How did you two meet?” Alois asks, going back to the painful subject.

 

Ciel laughs shortly at the question. How is he supposed to answer this one? Tell Alois that Sebastian is a part time stripper? That Ciel payed a hell of a lot of money to spend a single hour with Sebastian? That Ciel kept going back? That Ciel broke his Phantomhive heart over a stripper?

 

“Well?” Alois prompts. 

 

Ciel shakes his head and sighs. “I’m only telling you if you keep up your end of the bargain,” he mutters.

 

“Done,” Alois says. “You will know everything you want to know about my Claude.”

 

_ My Claude? _ Ciel narrows his eyes at the comment. Just how close are Claude and Alois? It’s obvious that Alois is attached to Claude, but does Claude return the feeling? Ciel doesn’t imagine Claude as someone to cheat on Sebastian, but Alois seems pretty confident in ‘his Claude.’ The answer to that question is too tantalizing so Ciel sighs in defeat. He’ll tell Alois the basic,  _ basic _ situation between Sebastian and him. 

 

“My friend, Elizabeth, dared me to do something.” Ciel starts slowly. “Sebastian happened to be there when I did it.” 

 

Alois nods and motions with his hands for Ciel to continue.

 

“And because of him, I liked it.” Ciel smiles just a bit, the feeling of pleasure coating the memories Sebastian gave Ciel. “So I went back. And then I went back again. And again. And again. I went back six times.” Ciel chuckles bitterly. “And then I found out he’s one of my most prized soldiers.”

 

“Why would that change things?” Alois asks softly. “You guys were already close.”

 

“Because…” Because of Claude. Because Sebastian suddenly became a real person. Because shame suddenly filled Ciel’s life. Because Ciel fell in love with a stripper who had a boyfriend.  _ Has _ a boyfriend. “I realized that we didn’t actually have anything special,” Ciel admits quietly. “I was a game and ‘a good time’ to Sebastian. Nothing more. The reality of that hurt me.” Ciel is not sure why he’s telling Alois this, but he thinks it has something to do with how little of a threat Alois is. Alois is just a victim of the Reapers. He’s just an ear for Ciel to whisper secrets to. Saying all of this stupid pain aloud… it might clear some things in Ciel’s soul. He might come to terms with it if he hears it from his own lips rather than his mind. 

 

“By ‘a good time’ do you mean a good lay?” Alois says bluntly.

 

Ciel jumps up and stares accusingly at Alois. “No! Of course not!”

 

Alois raises his eyebrows at Ciel. “Is one of you a secret stripper or something?”

 

Ciel stares at Alois in shock. Ciel isn’t expecting Alois to guess like this. Guess and be spot on. Ciel scoffs. There’s a reason he doesn’t talk to people like this, he thinks he’s being discreet but then everything is just painted on his face. Ciel’s walls begin growing again and he sighs. He hates being such a social and emotional disaster. Alois is a bipolar crazy person, but he’s already proving to be more socially intelligent than Ciel. That’s absolutely  _ wonderful _ .

 

Alois must see the shock painted on Ciel’s face, because he then says, “I may be emotionally hopeless, but I’m not that dumb, Ciel. I can put two and two together.”

 

Ciel very much realizes that now.

 

“Not to mention I lived on the streets for half of my life,” Alois continues. “I know what dirty men usually mean by ‘a good time.’” He chuckles sadly to himself. “So, which one of you is the strippper?”

 

Ciel groans and throws his head back into the pillows. Alois only laughs at Ciel’s pain. “I was spot on, wasn’t I?” He laughs harder. “My goodness, one of you is actually a stripper?”

 

Ciel groans and buries his face deeper into the pillows. He doesn’t want to deal with this right now, he just wants to go back to sleep. Damn being emotionally open and figuring out his situation with Sebastian. Just let him sleep.

 

Alois, apparently, is a demon sent from hell to prevent Ciel from sleeping. “Or is one of you a prostitute?” He whispers scandalously. 

 

Ciel whacks Alois with a pillow and sits back up. “Neither of us is a prostitute,” he groans.

 

“So who’s the stripper, then? I think it’s Sebastian; you’re far to prude to be an exotic dancer,” Alois says, holding his feet and rocking back and forth like a bored child.

 

Ciel snorts. “Why should I tell you anything if you’re just going to guess it all?” He doesn’t want to talk about it, anyways.

 

“So I’m right,” Alois confirms. “Sebastian is a secret stripper, your friend dared you to go to a club and get a lap dance, and then you kept going back because you got addicted to him?”

 

Ciel is shocked by the bluntness and accuracy of Alois’ words. Well, technically, Elizabeth was trying to get Ciel laid, but that’s a little detail that Ciel is happy to overlook. It’s not that important. “Basically,” Ciel admits.

 

Alois mouths ‘wow’ and lays his back onto the pillows. “And then you found out Sebastian is one of your soldiers who is also dating Claude.”

 

Ciel nods. What can he say to that, anyways? You don’t need words to damn someone to hell like this.

 

Alois laughs. “That sucks, man.”

 

“Tell me about it.”

 

“So,” Alois turns onto his side and faces Ciel again. “I believe I owe you my dirty little secret concerning Claude.”

 

“Don’t tell me anything sexual,” Ciel says immediately, raising a deadly finger at Alois. While he is grateful Alois is keeping up his end of the ‘bargain’ and leaving the embarrassing topic of Ciel’s stripper situation, Ciel is not listening to first account sexual fantasies. “I will kill you if you tell me any more details than necessary about your sex fantasies or anything of the sort.”

 

Alois pouts but nods. “I will keep the sexy details out of this confession,” he relents.

 

“Good,” Ciel sighs in relief. “Very good.”

 

“Now!” Alois comes  _ even closer  _ to Ciel and cuddles against him. “I will now tell the wondrous tale of Alois the Forgetful and Claude the Brave.”

 

“Sounds awful.”

 

Alois nods thoughtfully. “It really does. I’ll change the title later. But anyways, the story begins….

 

“I met Claude about a year ago, since he was volunteering there because he needed the volunteer hours for a uni he wants to attend. He wanted to work a personal case with someone with memory issues, though, so the doctors presented him to me, the impossible case.” Alois scoffs. 

 

“Most patients with memory problems can get ‘used to’ the way of life at the hospital, even if they don’t remember any of it. Repetition can help processing the shock every morning, and eventually they don’t freak out that much over their ‘new’ lives. I, however, am the hopeless case. Every two days, I wake up to shock and agony, and no one has been able to fix me. No matter what tricks they used on me, no matter what patterns they engraved into my life, I couldn’t adapt to it all at. So they introduced me to Claude, in an attempt to scare him away, I think. He looked really scary and half of the nurses said he ruined the ‘safe environment’ they worked so hard to create.” Alois chuckles at the memory. “They wanted the silly sad soldier to go away.

 

“But, to their surprise, Claude managed to actually get me used to the hospital and life there. Like the doctors did, he created a pattern for me to follow. He would always be the first thing I heard in the morning, regardless of whether or not he was actually present. (They had recordings of his voice and he usually called when he couldn’t physically be there.) Every morning I heard ‘good morning, Alois’ and every night I heard ‘goodnight, Alois.’ It became clockwork for me and I began becoming used to hospital life. To Claude. He would often take me out to coffee or to go sightseeing, and we would always go to the Thames to have coffee on the first day. I think he knew that hospital life would never completely agree with me, so I think he took me away from that hell hole as often as he could. So my brain would begin associating life with something not so… unpleasant. Associating it with all the good things Claude brought with him.

 

“Although my life became only two days of actually knowing Claude, I began to fall in love with him. He was the only person in my life that seemed to actually give a shit about me, and he was the one thing that made it better. He seemed to not care that I had memory problems, and sometimes he would let me see into his own shitty life. I felt like I had a friend. So, with this friend, I grew attached. One time, before the voice recordings, he couldn’t make it to the hospital for first day, and none of the nurses could calm me down. I thrashed and I screamed and I fought and I wanted  _ something  _ but I couldn’t figure out what. They eventually had to sedate me and call Claude to come in and save their asses. He came in later that day and he looked like absolute shit, but as soon as I saw him I knew what I was missing. I woke up to see him sitting next to my bed, and I threw myself into his arms and he wouldn’t let go of me until I fell asleep in pease. I woke up the next morning in his arms.

 

“Later that second day, he took me to his favorite spot in all of London. It’s a little park in the middle of the city, and nearby, there’s a Korean place with really  _ really _ hot rice. We ate Korean and walked in the tiny park and held hands. The night was like a normal date night between two people trying to figure out love.” Alois touches his lips with his fingers and Ciel narrows his eyes at the motion. 

 

_ There’s a kiss scene coming up in this story,  _ Ciel thinks. 

 

“It started raining like it always does in the spring, so we hid under one of the little roofs in the park. You know, like the ones in the movies. Like in  _ The Sound of Music _ , where the girl and boy are dancing and singing about love, while hiding from the rain. Both of us were jus a bit wet, but I was shivering like crazy since the rain reminded me of the accident with Luka - even if I could barely remember it. But Claude took off his jacket and covered me with it to keep me warm. I wanted to accept it, I really did, but I was being pissy so I made him put back on and I stood there shivering like some drama queen.” Alois snorts at the memory, but his expression then softened. “Claude wouldn’t have it, though. So he pulled me into his arms and I was buried in the warmth of his embrace and the jacket. He didn’t let go until I stopped shivering.

 

“He looked at me with this warmth I had never felt before, and I felt that same warmth spreading through me. I felt loved. In my shitty life filled with pain and loss, I felt the ghost of Luka’s love. But this love was different. This love was gentler. Was more careful. So, as I stood there shivering in his arms, he took my face in his hands and kept looking at me with that warmth. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t have to. We both knew what this warmth was. So he cradled my face and he leaned in and then-”

 

“And then you kissed,” Ciel mutters. “Spare me the details, please.”

 

Alois looks at Ciel with an annoyed expression but then continues. “It was chaste, that’s all I’m going to say about that kiss. Nothing else happened that night, but he started staying with me later at night on my second days, and soon those second nights became warmer. Then they became heated.”

 

“Spare me the details,” Ciel reminds Alois, but his own mind is racing. Claude… kissed Alois? He kept going back to Alois and restarting that fire?

 

Alois huffs and smacks Ciel’s arm. “We never had sex but it has come quite close a few times.”

 

“That’s all I need to know,” Ciel says. “Nothing more concerning that.”

 

Alois grins wickedly. “But he’s made me cum in my-”

 

“That’s enough!” Ciel shouts and whacks Alois with a pillow again. His every nerve feels like it’s on fire and he replays Alois’ words in his head. 

 

_ We never had sex but it has come quite close a few times.  _

 

_ …that kiss…  _

 

Claude cheated on Sebastian?

 

“Alois,” Ciel begins quietly. “Are you sure your memories are accurate?”

 

Alois narrows his eyes at Ciel. “I’m pretty damn sure. I couldn’t have dreamed up some of the stuff up here.” He points to his head. 

 

Ciel still isn’t convinced. “Tomorrow, well, later today, I want you to talk to Claude privately and make sure all of your memories are intact and accurate.”

 

Alois nods. “Okay. But why do you look so concerned? I haven’t even talked about the Reapers or anything related to your case, yet.”

 

“Because if what you’re saying is true, then Claude is cheating, or at least  _ was _ cheating on Sebastian,” Ciel mutters. “And that’s a personal issue I do not want to be involved in.”

 

“But if Claude is cheating on Sebastian, then they might break up,” Alois says. “And you said you like Sebas-”

 

“I do  _ not _ like that devil,” Ciel cuts Alois off with a hiss. “And I will not involve myself with silly plots to get the pretty boy. Sebastian’s romantic life is his own, I am no part of it.”

 

“But he likes you too,” Alois says.

 

“No he doesn’t,” Ciel mutters.

 

“But he does!” Alois sits up straight and looks intensely at Ciel. “And even if he doens’t like you like that, after Claude breaks up with him, you can persue him!”

 

“What makes you so sure Claude will break up with him?” Ciel asks, slowly bringing venom into his voice. “What makes you think he’ll leave Sebastian for someone like you?”

 

The words immediately shut Alois up, and Ciel wonders if he should feel remorse for saying the words. For planting hurt in Alois’ eyes. 

 

“I don’t know,” Alois says softly. “I don’t know whether or not Clause will pick me over Sebastian. But if he went through all of the trouble to hide Sebastian from me and hide me from Sebastian, then I’m pretty sure I at least mean  _ something  _ to him.”

 

“Is that something enough?” Ciel asks, cocking his head at Alois. “Is that warmth between you and Claude enough? From what I’ve seen, Sebastian and Claude have fire.”

 

“Fire burns,” Alois says firmly. “Fire burns and hurts people. It might feel good for a bit, but eventually you’ll burn your heart and the dust will clog your soul.”

 

_ So poetic,  _ Ciel thinks. “Some people prefer fire over simple warmth.” People like Ciel. Ciel doesn’t want the meek fire his parents had. He wants a desire that consumes his soul and drags him down into hell with his lover. Which is probably why he’s addicted to Sebastian. Sebastian is hell.

 

“Then I hope Claude chooses warmth,” Alois says with surprising confidence. “Sebastian will burn him away into nothing.”

 

“You can only hope,” Ciel mutters, settling back into the pillows. Now that the conversation has led somewhere a little calmer and less important - who cares about hopes and dreams, anyways? - he hopes that he can get some more sleep now.

 

“I want to make a deal,” Alois suddenly says, plopping down  _ right _ on top of Ciel. Alois’s weight crushes his cast, and he winces slightly at the pain. He’s seriously starting to regret punching the wall. He groans and stares at Alois angrily for crushing him and his injury. Just as he got comfortable!

 

“I don’t want to hear it,” Ciel mutters, turning over to face the other side. This deal of his will probably be improbable and too emotional for Ciel’s taste.

 

“Come on!” Alois whines. “At least hear me out.”

 

“No.”

 

“Pleeeaaasee,” Alois whines, climbing on top of Ciel. “You don’t have to say yes, but at least consider it!”

 

Ciel eyes Alois angrily and considers kicking him out onto the streets. But Ciel then remembers that this is a very important witness who he can’t just kick out. He sighs. Why did he even take Alois in? Because Alois would help him with Sebastian? Stupid reasoning, really. But then again… it is a reasoning that Ciel is very interested in.

 

“I’ll listen to it and no more.”

 

“Yay!” Alois shouts and Ciel groans painfully from the way Alois jumps on him. 

 

“But get off me, first. You’re surprisingly heavy for someone so small and you’re crushing my cast,” Ciel mutters, and Alois thankfully cooperates.

 

“So,” Alois says cheerfully. “I have a proposition / bet.”

 

“Go on,” Ciel groans quietly, refusing to admit how interested he actually is in this ‘proposition.’ 

 

“If all of my memories are intact and accurate, you’ll help me get Claude.”

 

Ciel nods.

 

“And once I get Claude, then I’ll help you get Sebastian.”

 

“What if your memories aren’t accurate or if you don’t get Claude?” Ciel asks. This is reality, afterall. Silly dreams like Alois’ are easily crushed by the world.

 

“Then you get to be as depressing as you want to be for the rest of your miserable life.”

 

“I am not depressing,” Ciel mutters. “I’m realistic.”

 

“Do you like the deal?” Alois asks. 

 

Ciel eyes Alois carefully and contemplates how painfully he can break Alois with his answer. “It’s foolish,” he answers, deciding to have some mercy.

 

“It’s simple,” Alois counters.

 

“Child’s play,” Ciel retaliates.

 

“Do… you… like… it…?” Alois groans. “Just answer me.”

 

“I absolutely despise it,” Ciel states and Alois dramatically gasps at his reply.

 

“But it’s so amazing!”

 

Ciel shakes his head. “It’s horrible. It’s like something you read in books or see in stupid shows.”

 

Alois sighs but still fights on. “But do you want in?”

 

“Do I want in?” Ciel asks incredulously. “Did I not just say it’s absolutely horrible?”

 

“Yeah, but still.”

 

Ciel groans and stares pointedly at the ceiling. Should he say yes to this? No! Why is he even considering such a stupid and naive thing? Sebastian is dating Claude and Claude is dating Sebastian. End of story. They’ve been together for about a decade, for god’s sake! It’d be foolish and extremely suicidal to even try to split them apart! 

 

So why the everliving fuck is Ciel even considering this? 

 

Ciel groans and throws his good arm over his face.

 

He knows why. It’s the way Sebastian looks at him. The fire that he possesses… the way he seems to want Ciel… his entire being… his soul. Alois may want something softer and more comforting like Claude’s warmth, but Ciel wants fire. He wants hellfire to consume him and he wants to live on the edge with Sebastian. He wants a fire that destroys him so he might be worthy of the Phantomhive name. Every Phantomhive must burn away, and for Ciel it’s only a matter of time. He just hopes that the fire that takes him from this world is Sebastian and not the fire that took his parents.

 

“If Claude confirms the truth about you memories, I’ll consider it.”

 

“Yes!” Alois shouts, pumping his fist in victory. 

 

“But!” Ciel raises a finger. “If your memories are out of place and Claude is not interested in you romantically at all, then I’ll forget about the deal.”

 

“Okay,” Alois says happily. “I can work with that!”

 

Ciel groans and throws the covers over him. “Now leave me be! There’s still a few hours until we have to do anything, and I want my sleep!”

 

“Fine…” Alois whines dejectedly and clambers off of the bed. “I’ll see you later, Ciel.”

 

“Later,” Ciel mutters as Alois closes the door.

 

Just what exactly has Ciel done?


	7. One Hell of a Mystery (part one)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you soooooo much to all who are reading this and have left comments! It’s absolutely amazing! I apologize in advance for this chapter... it’s quite choppy in my opinion. BUT I promise the next one will be better... hopefully...

The next morning - really just a few hours later - Ciel is awoken with a gentle knock at the door.

 

“My lord? It’s time to wake up.”

 

Ciel groans into the pillow and ignores Tanaka at the door. He can sleep in for a few more minutes…

 

The door creaks open and Tanaka asks again, “My lord?”

 

“Five more minutes,” Ciel mutters.

 

Tanaka chuckles and walks over to the windows and throws open the curtains. Ciel hisses from the light and burrows further under the covers.

 

“My lord, you really must wake up. Claude and Alois are waiting for you downstairs, and breakfast also awaits.”

 

Ciel grumbles angrily but relents. He throws the covers off of him and stretches in the morning light. Unthinkingly, he lays his legs over the edge of the bed and sits there, waiting for Tanaka to dress him. Tanaka doesn’t move for a moment, but then he’s walking over and unbuttoning Ciel’s sleepwear with nimble hands. Ciel shrugs out of his nightshirt and just sits there in nothing but his underwear, and Tanaka chuckles.

 

“What are you laughing at?” Ciel asks, rubbing his eyes with the base of his palm. “My bed hair is nothing you haven’t seen before.”

 

“On the contrary, my lord. I’ve only seen your sex hair, actually.”

 

Ciel whips his head up and stares at his butler who is currently folding Ciel’s shirt and picking out Ciel’s daywear.

 

“ _Sebastian?!?!”_ Ciel shouts as he launches himself across his bed - but he misjudges the distance of his king sized bed and ends up tumbling off the edge and painfully landing on his cast.

 

Sebastian chuckles again. “My lord, are you alright?”

 

Ciel pops his head up over the edge of the bed and stares accusingly at Sebastian. “What are you doing in my room?”

 

“Waking you up and dressing you for the day, my lord.”

 

Ciel glares at Sebastian. “Where is Tanaka?”

 

“Mr. Tanaka was feeling ill this morning and requested that I stay in his stead. He’ll be back within a few days, my lord,” Sebastian explains while keeping up the appearance of the perfect butler. He’s in an outfit identical to Tanaka’s, so he should look professional and nothing more, but the way the suit frames Sebastian’s body… it sends vulgar thoughts into Ciel’s mind.

 

_I am not going to have a fantasy about Sebastian in a butler’s attire…_

 

Ciel shakes his head violently and doesn’t move from his position. “Put my nightshirt away and I’ll dress myself. Leave.”

 

Sebastian shakes his head slightly. “I’m afraid I cannot do that, my lord.”

 

“Why the everliving fuck not?” Ciel demands, not wanting to play any of Sebastian’s games this early in the morning.

 

“Language, my lord,” Sebastian scolds. “Mr. Tanaka informed me of what happens when you dress yourself… and while I would not bother with your attire on a normal day, you have guests today. It is my duty as your butler to make sure you are properly dressed.”

 

“It’s just clothes, how hard can it be,” Ciel mutters.

 

“I agree with you, my lord, but I’m afraid Mr. Tanaka does not have any faith in you fashion tastes.” Sebastian cringes slightly. “Now, will you please cooperate? Claude and Alois are waiting downstairs.”

 

Ciel sneers as he stands up and pads over to Sebastian with his arms wrapped tightly around his body. “And we don’t want to keep loverboy waiting, now, do we?”

 

Sebastian halts in his movements for a moment but then continues pulling clothes out of Ciel’s wardrobe. “At the moment I am nothing more than your butler. All personal relations are kept away,” Sebastian says softly.

 

Ciel scoffs and Sebastian begins dressing Ciel, who now cooperates grudgingly. “I never asked for you to be my butler,” Ciel says.

 

“Nor did I, my lord,” Sebastian whispers. “But you need a partner in your duties to the Queen, and so I am here to fulfill that role. The only catch is that I also have to act as your butler part time. Mr. Tanaka says it’s a cover.”

 

“It’s shit,” Ciel mutters. “You could just pose as a business partner, there’s no need to give you even more work.”

 

Sebastian doesn’t reply, but he just focuses on dressing Ciel. He’s careful with the brace, and Ciel wants to cringe at the fondness Sebastian treats him with. But the look on Sebastian’s face is… almost sad, in Ciel’s opinion. He wonders if Sebastian is truly upset as his butler, but something tells Ciel that that isn’t it. It’s something else. When Sebastian’s frowny face doesn’t leave, Ciel sighs and asks, “Is something bothering you, Sebastian?”

 

Sebastian looks up to Ciel in surprise. “What makes you say that?”

 

Ciel rolls eyes at Sebastian’s move of avoiding the question. “You look sad. Surely Tanaka isn’t forcing so much butler work on you.”

 

Sebastian chuckles slightly. “No, that’s not it.”

 

“Then what is it?” Ciel asks as Sebastian finishes Ciel’s tie.

 

“A personal issue that I will keep separate from my duties, my lord,” Sebastian says softly.

 

Ciel scoffs. “Stop being so uptight. You’re not actually my butler, so these ‘personal issues’ can mingle a bit.”

 

Sebastian bites at his lip a bit and Ciel sighs. “Tell me, come on.”

 

Sebastian shakes his head. “It’s not proper.”

 

Ciel opens his mouth to retaliate, but Sebastian interrupts him. “Claude and Alois are waiting downstairs with breakfast. I suggest you do not keep them waiting.”

 

Ciel sighs and nods. “Fine. I’m going.” Sebastian can’t be in Ciel’s life so much and expect not to answer Ciel’s questions… Ciel will find out what he wants to know. No one withstands a Phantomhive.

 

They walk out of the room in silence and Ciel thinks about the cause of Sebastian’s anger / grumpiness on the way to the dining room.

 

One, Alois being a clingy fuck with Claude.

 

Two, he really hates being Ciel’s butler.

 

Three, Claude and Sebastian got into a fight.

 

Four, Sebastian’s just being moody.

 

Five, Sebastian is upset at Ciel.

 

Ciel hopes that it’s number one or four and it’s just Sebastian being a possessive boyfriend, but something in his soul prays for number three. He’ll never admit to this, but he wants Sebastian. He wants to keep Sebastian’s fire as his own and spend late nights with Sebastian doing the things they could never do at the club. Sex, yes, but also more. The personal things. Cuddling. Drinking hot chocolate in the winter. Just laying there after they’ve both come down from their high, relishing in the after-waves of pleasure. He wants hellfire and more.

 

Ciel doesn’t want Sebastian as his butler. He want Sebastian as his equal, his partner. Sebastian in his rawest form. Not even stripper Sebastian - even if stripper Sebastian is legendary. Ciel just wants Sebastian.

 

Sebastian walks in front of Ciel, hiding his face away from him, so Ciel ends up staring intensely at the back of Sebastian’s head. This man has done so much and so little to Ciel, and Ciel is already entranced by him. Ciel laughs quietly. Just imagine what Sebastian can do to Ciel once Ciel gets to know him. He’d be able to convince Ciel to kill himself if he wanted to.

 

Ciel wonders if he would even do it now.

 

Sebastian pauses at the door to the dining room and reaches his hand out to open the door, but Ciel jumps forward and latches onto Sebastian’s wrist to stop him.

 

“My lord?” Sebastian asks quietly.

 

Ciel’s not sure what’s gotten into him, so he takes a few moments to organise his thoughts. When he’s ready, he says, “When we go in there, you are not my butler. So don’t act like it. We’re going to be discussing the Reapers and you will be my partner in there,” Ciel whispers. He wants the real Sebastian. He wants to know how he acts around people in life - around Ciel, around Claude, around everyone. (Mostly just Claude at the moment, but no one needs to know that.)

 

“Are you embarrassed that I’m now also your butler?” Sebastian asks while raising a slender brow.

 

“No,” Ciel says. “I just want you to be you in there.”

 

Sebastian nods. “With Claude.”

 

Ciel looks up to Sebastian in shock. _How did he…_

 

“You want to know the true nature of my relationship with Claude. Now that Alois is also in the picture,” Sebastian confirms quietly.

 

Ciel is momentarily lost for words. Is he that easy to read, or is Sebastian just being Sebastian? Or does Sebastian already know Ciel so well? “I’ll admit that’s part of it,” Ciel confesses quietly. Why is he confessing? “But I don’t want you to be my butler. I asked for a business partner in the fight against the Reapers.”

 

Sebastian smiles a bit. “And you’ll have one.”

 

They open the door and walk in to find Alois and Claude talking quietly. They don’t seem to be doing anything scandalous - much to Ciel’s relief - and Alois looks up happily when they enter the room.

 

“Good morning, Ciel!” He greets happily.

 

“Good morning, Alois,” Ciel replies halfheartedly, taking his seat next to Alois as Sebastian takes the one across from him. The seat next to Claude.

 

Breakfast is laid out before them on the table in neat little plates and bowls, and Ciel gestures to the food. “Go ahead and eat, we’ll begin things as we eat.”

 

Alois nods happily and grabs a handful of everything - much to Ciel’s dignified horror. Claude and Sebastian grab their food in a more appropriate manner, but when their hands brush as they reach for toast, electricity seems to explode between them. They both flinch away quickly and Ciel narrows his eyes at them. Alois seems oblivious to the tension in the room now, but Ciel wants the tension gone. They’re busy right now, he’ll have to contemplate about it later.

 

 _To business._ “So,” he says after taking a sip of his tea. “Alois’ memories.”

 

They all look to him and the tension surprisingly does not leave the room. Okay then. Be that way.

 

“Did you and Claude confirm whether or not your memories are accurate?” Ciel asks Alois.

 

Alois nods. “Yup.”

 

Ciel internally groans and cheers. This is good news for his job, but now he has to participate in Alois’ deal. Well, he technically doesn’t have to, but Alois is most likely going to annoy him until he surrenders to Alois’ whims. “And I assume your memory is now functioning properly?”

 

“Yesh,” Alois says through a mouthful of toast, and Ciel shudders at Alois’ table manners. Alois swallows and continues, “I went through some main points of my memories, and everything seems to be accurate.”

 

Ciel guesses that the ‘main points’ actually contain almost every single detail about the scandalous relationship between him and Claude, but he doesn’t say anything about that. It doesn’t matter at the moment.

 

“And do you feel emotionally prepared to talk about the Reapers? I am aware that nothing major happened, but I just want to be safe,” Ciel says.

 

“I’ll be fine,” Alois says. “If Claude is there with me, I’ll be fine.” The words are spoken confidently and Ciel sees Sebastian twitch at the words. A small sneer forms on Sebastian’s lips, and Ciel and Claude both catch it. Ciel momentarily wonders whether or not he should point it out, but Claude makes the move for him.

 

“You alright, Sebastian?” Claude asks.

 

Sebastian instantly wipes the sneer off his face and replaces it with something much more pleasant. “Of course,” he says.

 

Claude narrows his eyes at his boyfriend and Ciel - like Claude - doesn’t believe Sebastian. There’s still an angry fire in Sebastian’s eyes, and Ciel wants to know why it’s there. But that’ll have to be for _later_ . Now, they have much more _important_ things to discuss.

 

 _Stop being such emotional little fucks and let me do my goddamn work,_ Ciel thinks angrily.

 

“Alois, can you take us through what happened when the Reapers came? I know that you told us the basics before and that it’s a bit soon, but the sooner the better. We don’t want you forgetting anything,” Ciel says, switching over into _business_ mode. _Because no one wants to talk about the stupid love triangle going on between Claude, Sebastian and Alois._ Ciel internally shudders. He doesn’t want to be dragged into this drama; he just wants to be the Queen’s Guard Dog and have relaxation time with Sebastian. _No! No Sebastian! Only work!_

 

Alois sighs but nods. “I woke up on the day of the attack like normal, but Claude wasn’t there. I freaked out a bit but they got him and the phone and he calmed me down,” Alois begins. “He explained to me that he was busy with soldier work and that they were trying to intercept an attack from a terrorist group.”

 

“I assume this was the tip about the Reaper attack?” Ciel asks, and Claude nods.

 

“I went back to my room to wait for Claude, and I fell asleep while doing so. When I woke up, everything was so quiet and I felt anxious.”

 

“Anxious?” Ciel asks.

 

Alois nods. “Everything felt wrong. I knew something was up.”

 

Ciel nods. _Interesting_. “Continue, please.”

 

“So I peaked out of my room but couldn’t see anything, so I went into the hallway and started making my way to the common room. When I got there… I saw patients on the floor and on their knees, and the Reapers were pacing throughout the room. I turned to run back to my room, but I ran into a Reaper and they put me in line with the other patients - duct taping my mouth, legs and arms. Then… then one of the Reapers stepped forward and began talking to us. No, first he took off his helmet.”

 

“He took off his helmet?” Ciel asks. “Do you remember what he looks like?”

 

Alois furrows his eyebrows in concentration and thinks. “Not… not really. I can’t really see him in my mind’s eye… but his eyes were green.” Alois looks up suddenly and stares at Ciel intensely. “His eyes were green like fresh grass, as if life was in them.”

 

Ciel jots all of this down onto a notepad as Alois talks.

 

“He also had glasses, I think… and really yellow hair. But like an ugly yellow.” Alois wrinkles his nose. “A really ugly yellow.”

 

Ciel sighs and writes this down, too. _Ugly ass yellow hair._

 

“And all of their masks were red, but you already knew that, right?” Alois chuckles bitterly. “He said something about Mother Nature and healing us properly, and then the soldiers came up to us individually. They put their hands on our necks… but I don’t remember anything else. I then fell to the floor and the next thing that happens is the Set coming in and attacking. Then I was in Claude’s arms and I remembered everything.”

 

“How did you remember everything?” Ciel asks. “In what way did the memories come back? All at once? Slowly?”

 

Alois shakes his head. “I didn’t really register remembering everything. I was just thinking about life and what dying was going to be like, and I was considering everything that had happened to me. It was just as if I had never forgotten anything.”

 

“And what made you realize you remembered everything?” Ciel asks.

 

“I referenced a joke Claude told me, and he realized that I referenced it. He then pointed out to me that I remembered something from a month ago, and then I realized that I remembered everything.”

 

Ciel sighs and continues jotting all of it down. “It was natural and harmless?”

 

Alois nods. “As far as I could tell.”

 

Ciel finishes writing all of his notes down and looks to Sebastian. “What do you think about the green-eyed guy?”

 

Sebastian thinks for a moment and then responds, “I think the eyes are interesting.”

 

Claude narrows his eyes. “And why is that?”

 

“The first thing Alois remembered about the Reaper was his eyes,” Sebastian says. “The eyes aren’t usually something you’d remember, not when you were at least five feet away from the person. The eyes wouldn’t be very easily seen.”

 

“But this guy’s eyes stuck out,” Ciel says.

 

Sebastian nods. “Green eyes that seemed to hold life. Ironic, for someone who calls themself a Reaper.”

 

“But how does that help our case?” Claude asks. “We know the Reaper’s eyes are green, great. Now what?”

 

Sebastian sighs. “Not only does every Reaper we know fit that eye description, but I also know someone with eyes like that. Eyes greener than fresh grass. And the eyes were the first thing I noticed about him.”

 

“Him?” Ciel leans forward. “Does he fit Alois’ description?”

 

Sebastian shakes his head. “He’s not our guy, but he has a giant family. He might be related, or at least know something. I don’t believe it’s a coincidence that all of the Reapers have bright green eyes.”

 

“We originally took it as a form of a brand,” Ciel notes. “But since you know someone else who’s like that, it’s worth looking into.”

 

“Do you know the odds of Sebastian knowing a relative of our Reaper?” Claude asks harshly. “It’s damn near impossible.”

 

Sebastian narrows his eyes at Claude. “Luck usually is on my side, and it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

 

Ciel nods. “I agree. We’ll look into your friend and interrogate him. Even if he isn’t family of the Reapers, he at least might know something.”

 

Sebastian grins. “Then let’s go.”

 

~~~

 

“What the hell are we doing at the strip club?” Ciel demands, staring at the doors to _Facilis Descensus Averno_ , the place where all of this shit with Sebastian started.

 

“My friend owns this place,” Sebastian says with a cheeky wink. “Come on, I know you aren’t too prude to go into these types of places.”

 

Ciel rolls his eyes angrily and follows Sebastian into the club. The place is open at the moment - surprisingly enough, it’s only five at night - and while the atmosphere isn’t the same as when it’s really late at night, the room looks all too familiar to Ciel. The chairs, the stage, the bar - it all brings back dreams and nightmares to Ciel. But as he looks at the room without the haze of Sebastian, it looks so pathetic. People are mulling about drinking alcohol and no one really gives a fuck about life in here. The occasional burst of laughter floods the room and there’s an attractive man singing on stage. Something about love and lust. The place is so… ordinary. This is just a piece of life outside of… life, you could say, and it’s just a room and nothing more. It shouldn’t affect Ciel like this.

 

“So this is _the_ strip club, eh?” Alois whispers into Ciel’s ear.

 

Ciel whacks Alois on the shoulder - he does so very hardly, mind you - and Alois only chuckles in reply.

 

“It’s a strip club and nothing more,” Ciel hisses venomously at Alois.

 

“But it’s so much more than ‘just a strip club,’ though. It’s where it all started, right?” Alois says.

 

Ciel doesn’t reply, but just walks quicker and catches up to Sebastian, ignoring Alois. “Where is this friend of yours?” He asks Sebastian in a very annoyed tone.

 

“He’s backstage, I believe. He’s probably scolding the dancers for using too much makeup.” Sebastian laughs, and Ciel is surprised to see that it’s a fond laugh.

 

“Please tell me that this friend of yours isn’t Grell,” Claude mutters behind Sebastian and Ciel.

 

Sebastian turns to face his boyfriend and gives a cheeky smirk. “And what if it is?”

 

“Then I’ll consider killing you and Grell,” Claude says in a heartbeat.

 

Sebastian clutches his chest and mock staggers. “You wound me, Claude.”

 

Claude just looks away, annoyance painted across his face.

 

“What’s with this Grell?” Ciel asks Sebastian in a hushed tone of voice.

 

“He’s… a different type of man,” Sebastian murmurs back to Ciel, his voice dropping to a tone that should _not_ be sexy right now. “People like him tend to drive Claude up the wall.”

 

Ciel scoffs. Maybe he should get an army of Grells and protect himself from Claude and therefore Alois and maybe Sebastian.

 

They arrive backstage and Sebastian knocks on the door which says, in large red letters, _STAFF ONLY._

 

“In a moment!” A woman answers on the other side, and soon the door swings open to reveal a very strange looking person. Their long messy hair is redder than fresh blood and equally red glasses perch at the tip of their pale nose. A large red overcoat slides off their shoulders in an attempt to look sexy - in Ciel’s opinion it most definitely fails to do so and it just looks sloppy - and a white button up and brown slacks don the person. But the most striking thing? It’s their eyes. Bright green and as vivid as life herself.

 

“Bassy!” The person coos, and they throw themselves onto Sebastian with a brutal hug.

 

Sebastian merely stands there and replies, “Hello, Grell.”

   

Grell leans back and smiles widely at Sebastian, revealing quite sharp canines and very white teeth. “To what do I owe the pleasure, Bassy?”

 

“This is Ciel Phantomhive, and he’d like to ask you a few questions,” Sebastian says, gesturing to Ciel in a fairly professional manner.

 

Ciel extends his hand and opens his mouth to greet this Grell, but Grell prevents him from doing that. He throws himself at Ciel and practically screams into his ears instead of shaking his hand like a civilized person, and Ciel is momentarily deafened.

 

“He’s so cute!” Grell exclaims _very_ loudly. “Your skin is so milky and your eyes! Oh, they’re like the deepest blue of a midnight sky!” Grell pinches Ciel’s cheeks and Ciel catches Sebastian chuckling. _Chuckling!_ _Why that little piece of -_ “Eh, Bassy, did you say Phantomhive?” Grell says while turns to Sebastian with a questioning gaze, interrupting Ciel’s very pissed off thoughts about his new butler.

 

Sebastian nods and looks at Ciel innocently. “This is the current Phantomhive Earl.”

 

“What?!” Grell turns back to Ciel with a slightly panicked expression. “But… you’re so young!”

 

Ciel narrows his eyes at Grell and shoves his hands off. “I am perfectly capable of doing my job, thank you very much!”

 

Grell doesn’t seem offended by Ciel’s statement - as Ciel intended it - but instead looks to Sebastian in confusion. “Is Vincent dead, then?”

 

Ciel looks at Grell in shock. “You know my father?” He asks, authority flooding his voice, and he raises his head a bit higher. _How would the owner of a strip club know my father?_ Ciel rolls his eyes a bit as the next thought comes to his mind. _Then again, Phantomhives know a lot of different types of people. Take Undertaker and Lau, for example._

 

Grell moves his head side to side and answers Ciel’s question. “Well… I’ve met the man but I didn’t really know him. A friend of mine knew him.”

 

“And was this friend of yours close to my father?” Ciel asks.

 

Grell nods sadly. “I’m surprised he didn’t tell me about Vincent’s death… but then again, I’m not surprised at all.” He laughs bitterly. “He’s a very secretive person and he’s not the type of person to publicly mourn.”

 

Ciel continues to stare at Grell, but Sebastian leans down to remind Ciel what they’re doing here in the first place. “Ciel, we’re here about the Reapers. Once we have the information we need, then you can ask about your late father.”

 

Ciel nods and shakes his head to clear it. “Is there some place we can sit down to discuss private manners?”

 

Grell nods and leads them up a flight of stairs to a small but cozy room with three loveseats and a bed. “No one will disturb us up here.”

 

Sebastian laughs quietly, and Ciel silently asks him why.

 

“This is a room where we would take _very_ special customers,” Sebastian explains, and Ciel makes a silent ‘oh’ with his mouth. _Lewd demon…_

 

“Special indeed,” Claude mutters bitterly behind Ciel and Sebastian, and Ciel turns to him in a bit of annoyance.

 

“Are you alright, Claude?” Ciel asks. “Because you’ve done nothing but mope around the entire way here, and I hoped that you would be a little more professional.” But then again, Ciel is secretly happy to be able to scold Sebastian’s lover.

 

Claude bows his head slightly and apologizes. Ciel smirks in victory and quickly turns his head away before Claude can see it. Sebastian catches it, however, and rolls his eyes at Ciel.

 

Ciel’s tempted to his Sebastian like a child. But he is not a child. So he will refrain from doing such immature things.

 

Grell looks between the three and places his hands on his hips. “Wait… this is _the_ Phantomhive, correct?” Grell asks Sebastian, and Sebastian nods. “And this is _the_ Claude, the angry boyfriend, right?”

 

Sebastian nods.

 

Grell thinks for a moment and then exclaims, “Then why the fuck do you have them in the same room?”

 

Everyone stares at Grell in surprise, and Claude tries to cover Alois’ ears but Alois shoves his hands away.

 

“I’m not a kid,” Alois mutters angrily, and Claude only sighs in response.

 

“I’m afraid I don’t understand your question,” Sebastian admits sweetly.

 

“Nuh uh, Sebastian,” Grell steps up to Sebastian with a swivel of his hips and points an accusing finger at his face. “Don’t get all sweet and innocent on me. I know almost _everything_ about your demonic life. You understand my question _perfectly_ so I expect an answer.”

 

Sebastian sighs. “You’ll have it soon enough, but right now we have business to attend to.”

 

Ciel nods, even if he is _very_ curious as to what Grell is talking about. Personal matters will have to wait.

 

“I don’t care. Your personal life is much more important to me than some Reaper business,” Grell snarls.

 

“We never said anything about the Reapers,” Ciel comments, narrowing eyes at Grell. Is he somehow related to their case? Perhaps a secret member? An ex-member?

 

“Not to me, but Sebastian said it to you and I overheard. My senses are legendary, mind you,” Grell snaps, his teeth clicking together loudly.

 

“Except for your eyesight,” Sebastian mutters.

 

“Can we _please_ focus?” Ciel shouts, effectively silencing the room. He’s had enough of this playing around and he wants to actually get to the task at hand. Ciel hates procrastinators. “We are here to question you about the Reapers, Grell. So can we all take a seat and begin?”

 

Everyone nods and follows Ciel’s order - much to his pride’s delight - but Sebastian doesn’t. He merely stares at Ciel with some sort of awe on his face, and Ciel eyes him carefully.

 

“What?” Ciel demands. “Do I have something on my face?” _Don’t look at me like that. Like you did at our nights at the club._

 

Sebastian shakes his head immediately and wipes the expression off of his face. “It’s nothing,” he says before taking a seat on one of the couches.

 

Ciel sighs and moves to sit down, but he then notices the seating in the room. There are three love seats that can each fit two people, but it’s quite snug. Alois and Claude sit together, Grell sits in one, and Sebastian is sitting on the other. The bed is too far away to perch on and still actively join the conversation, and leaning on the armrests just seems a bit too cliche for Ciel’s taste.

 

Sebastian must notice Ciel’s internal panic, because he then smirks and asks, “Aren’t you going to sit down, Ciel? You did say for all of us to take a seat.”

 

Ciel glares at Sebastian. “I’m fine standing.” No, he’s really not, but he’ll manage. He won’t sit next to a stranger or Sebastian. Not like this.

 

“Ciel, stop being a child and just sit down,” Sebastian says, and the words go straight under Ciel’s skin.

 

“I am not a child,” he mutters before plopping down next to Sebastian, internally cringing at how close he is to Sebastian. The entirety of their thighs are pressed up against each other and every cell in Ciel’s body is actively aware of whether or not it’s touching Sebastian. Sebastian - being the git he is - leans a little into Ciel and Ciel nearly dies on the spot. He glares up at Sebastian and the git can only grin in return.

 

 _Grow up, Ciel! This is for business and nothing more!_ Ciel reminds himself. He ignores Sebastian’s flirtatious look and then focuses on the task at hand.

 

He clears his throat and begins. “Alois, do Grell’s eyes stand out to you?”

 

Alois looks more intently at Grell and nods. “He has the same eyes at the Reaper I saw.”

 

“Eh?” Grell looks around at them, confused. “You’re interrogating me because of my eyes?”

 

“Sebastian,” Ciel whispers to Sebastian, _slightly_ grateful to how close they’re sitting. “How trustworthy is Grell?”

 

“I wouldn’t trust him with my baking but I would trust him with my life,” Sebastian murmurs back, leaning into Ciel and dipping his head down slightly. “He’s very secretive about the important things and knows when to grow up.”

 

Ciel nods and leans away from Sebastian - well, as much as he can lean away. Sebastian is quite large and he takes up at least sixty percent of the loveseat. _Why do these chairs have to be so small?_ “We’ve been tracking the Reapers, and we’re looking for their leader,” Ciel explains to Grell. “A trait among all of them is their eye color. It’s always a stunning shade of green.”

 

Grell nods and taps his chin thoughtfully. “And since my eyes match the description, you want to interrogate me to see if I know anything.”

 

Ciel nods. “We originally thought that the eye color was unnatural and done as a ritual, but your eye color is natural, yes?”

 

Grell nods. “I thought the Reapers were against everything unnatural, though?”

 

Ciel shrugs. “We thought they had ‘natural dye’ or something.”

 

Grell laughs shortly. “‘Or something.’ Do you know how hard it is to change eye color like that?”

 

“He would know, since he’s a master in all things appearance,” Sebastian murmurs to Ciel.

 

“The Reapers have a done a lot of surprising things, Grell,” Ciel says. “They’ve healed minds with extreme memory damage, for example; bringing back all memories.” Ciel nods to Alois, who shrinks into Claude a little more.

 

“Memories?” Grell asks softly. “They brought back memories?”

 

Ciel nods. “And we don’t know how. And it’s also thrown a stick into our wheel, because now the Reapers are helping people instead of being ruthless terrorists.” Ciel scoffs. “The case has turned grey for us - we don’t know whether or not they want to kill people or heal them.”

 

“But that’s their goal, isn’t it?” Grell says. “To heal people the proper way in which Mother Nature intended us to do?”

 

Alois stares at Grell confusingly, and whispers something into Claude’s ear. Claude immediately perks up and says, “That’s what the Reaper said.”

 

All eyes turn to Claude, who then continues, “‘To heal people the proper way in which Mother Nature intended us to do,’ it’s quite a lengthy and mouthful of a phrase.” Claude looks to Grell accusingly. “And both Grell and the Reaper said the same exact thing.”

 

Ciel widens his eyes a bit and turns to Grell. “Is that so?” _Fuck yes. Evidence._ Ciel’s mind practically sings in victory. It’s been ages since he’s actually gotten some information like this, much less catch someone in relation to the Reapers.

 

Ciel hopes that Grell will squirm in his seat and be an obvious spy of some sort, but Grell just keeps calm and replies, “They’ve said it before.”

 

“It’s true,” Sebastian says to Ciel. “Whenever they make a statement, they say it.”

 

“And how often do they make a public statement?” Ciel asks Sebastian quietly. “Their speeches have only made it to the telly three times.”

 

“Grell has a splendid memory, I wouldn’t be surprised if he could recite the entirety of their speeches from memory,” Sebastian says.

 

“Doctors suspect it’s photographic,” Grell says loudly, and Ciel turns to him in surprise. “My hearing is also excellent, so don’t think you can whisper secrets without me hearing.”

 

Ciel laughs but inwardly screams. “I’ll keep that in mind.” _Dammit. He’s innocent. Who the hell is this Grell? Someone who has excellent hearing? Memory? Reaper eyes?_

 

“Do you know anything about the Reapers, then?” Claude asks, leaning forward and joining the conversation.

 

Grell shrugs. “Nothing more than you do.”

 

“What about your family?” Ciel asks, wanting to know about the Reaper eyes. Eyes seem to be an interesting trait for all of the Reapers to share. “Do they all have the same eye color as you?”

 

Grell nods. “Yes, but it’s a small family. We come from the middle of nowhere England.”

 

Ciel sighs. This is getting nowhere, and he hasn’t been able to properly figure out a lead to follow. He has little bread crumbs here and there, but none create a trail for Ciel to follow. He needs some time to figure things out properly. He needs a lead to latch onto and follow. _Once again, another dead end…._ He whips out his business card and hands it to Grell as he stands up. “Thank you for your cooperation. Call me or Sebastian if you hear anything.”

 

Grell takes the card and nods. “Will do, Mr. Phantomhive,” he drawls, shooting him a flirty wink. _What is it with people and winking?_

 

Ciel begins walking out and they all move to follow him, but Grell grabs Sebastian’s coat and pulls him back.

 

“Not you, Sebby. Not just yet,” Grell drawls.

 

Ciel turns around and stares annoyingly at Sebastian and Grell. “How long is this going to take?”

 

Grell grins wickedly. “Depends on how cooperative Sebby dear is…”

 

Ciel sighs. “Make it quick, Sebastian,” he says.

 

“No promises,” Sebastian says dully before Grell drags him back into the room and slams the door shut.

 

Ciel merely stares at the door before sighing for the hundredth time that day. _What on earth is Grell doing to Sebastian?_

 

~~~

 

“Sebastian Dean Michaelis,” Grell begins at a dangerously low tone once the door is closed behind the pair. “What on earth have you done?”

 

Sebastian rolls his eyes at Grells dramatics. “You’ll have to be a little more specific, Grell.”

 

Grell huffs. “You know exactly what I’m talking about, _Michaelis._ ”

 

“Stop saying my surname like that. It’s doing nothing to intimidate me.” Sebastian crosses his arms and leans on one leg, giving off the perfect image of sexy nonchalance. He doesn't have time for this; he has to go back to the manor with Ciel and figure out leads for Ciel to follow. Everything is just pointless information at the moment.

 

Grell whips out a small and elegant red knife and tucks it under Sebastian’s chin as he lunges forward. “I suggest you be a little more cooperative, Bassy. You don’t want to keep Ciel or Claude waiting on you.”

 

Sebastian has to resist the urge to roll his eyes at Grell, but he manages to find the strength to respond seriously. “What have I done, Grell?” The knife does nothing to scare him - he knows Grell wont hurt him. One, because of business. Two, because Sebastian is one of his only friends.

 

Grell scoffs at Sebastian’s question. “You and Claude haven’t broken up, yet.”

 

“No. We haven’t. And why would we?” Sebastian asks, even if he knows the answer. _Because of Ciel and Alois._

 

“The Phantomhive boy, of course!” Grell exclaims. _Ah, you missed a point there, Grell. There’s another factor in this game._

 

“Quiet, now,” Sebastian warns with a playful voice. “We don’t want them hearing.”

 

“You and I both know how soundproof that door is. If it can contain you and Claude’s five hour sexcapade, it can contain my wrath.”

 

Sebastian scoffs. The room is quite soundproof, and he smirks a little at the memory of the night he spend here with Claude. Claude had been jealous of all of the men who had touched and ogled Sebastian at the club, so he stormed over and made very angry love to Sebastian. That had been one of his more violent moments; usually he’s just overly sarcastic and bitter about everything.

 

“Why would Ciel cause Claude and I to break up?” Sebastian asks.

 

“You and I both know the answer to that question, stop avoiding my questions!” Grell hisses, snatching back his knife and tucking it away under his layers of red. “You like Ciel. A lot. And yet, you’re here with him on a business trip concerning the fucking _Reapers_. And with Claude! Who, may I point out, has a very cute boy toy in tow!”

 

 _Finally, you acknowledge the other one._ “That’s Alois, he’s a witness,” Sebastian says.

 

“Witness, sure,” Grell says, flopping down onto the red love seat. “A witness who clings to Claude like he’s a lifeline, who looks to Claude like he’s the world. Don’t hate me for saying this, but Claude isn’t a nice person. That _Alois_ has to be very close to Claude for him to be that attached to him.”

 

“Alois is the patient Claude’s been taking care of,” Sebastian explains as he sits down on the seat across from Grell.

 

Grell narrows his eyes. “ _The_ patient, eh?” He laughs. “No wonder you’re so friendly with Ciel.”

 

“It’s business and nothing more, Grell.” Sebastian narrows his eyes at Grell, silently threatening him.

 

“No, it’s really not, Sebby,” Grell snaps. He doesn’t acknowledge the threat in Sebastian’s eyes - probably because Grell knows he’s safe. Sebastian would never physically harm Grell, only majorly annoy him. “You suspect Claude has been cheating on you, so in retaliation you openly flirt with another guy to rile him up. Usually I’d be game for this type of drama, but I know what the Phantomhives are like, Sebastian.” Grell pinches the bridge of his nose and breathes in deeply. “Never, _ever_ , play with a Phantomhive’s feelings.”

 

“I’m not playing with anyone’s feelings, Grell,” Sebastian says bitterly.

 

“Yes, you are,” Grell states. “You’re playing with Claude’s, Ciel’s, and your own. Claude probably like this Alois. Ciel likes you. You like Ciel and Claude. But you stretch out the pain and make them play the guessing game.”

 

“Claude’s the one who’s playing the guessing game,” Sebastian says. “He won’t make a proper move on the boy who - up until yesterday - couldn’t remember him.”

 

“Then confront Claude!” Grell exclaims. “Make sure whether or not he’s loyal to you and then settle things between you and Ciel! He knows there’s a possibly that he can have you, but his emotions are being played with until he gets the final verdict. Break his heart now or mend it! Don’t play with him like he’s food.”

 

“I don’t have to answer to you, Grell,” Sebastian says lowly.

 

Grell scoffs. “Oh, you gonna get all scary on me, Bassy? We both know what happens then.”

 

“Yes. Your boyfriend comes in to save the day,” Sebastian states coldly.

 

“ _Fiancé_ , thank you very much,” Grell huffs while sitting up straighter. “In two months I’ll be a married woman.”

 

“Man,” Sebastian corrects.

 

“Just let me pretend, Bassy.”

 

Sebastian chuckles half heartedly and stares off to the bed. The bed Claude and him nearly broke. He smiles at the memory, but then frowns. The image of Alois’ protective grip on Claude replaces the memory in Sebastian’s mind, and next comes the image of Ciel’s blissful face. Ciel. His life has changed quite a lot in such a short period of time. Originally, he let himself go with Ciel since he’s just a client - but now? Now Ciel is his new business partner. Now Sebastian suspects that Claude is cheating him. Now the Reapers have played a different card and life has just become so much more complicated. Yes, Sebastian is thankful for the distraction from his normally boring life, but the grass is always greener on the other side. The boring days were… boring, but peaceful. He’d work with the Set, take down the occasional psychopath at large, then go home and have creative sex with Claude. He started working at _Facilis Descensus Averno_ because he was bored. Life was a boring pattern he couldn’t break, so he went to Grell and William to try to break that pattern. It worked for a while. Claude got jealous and they had _amazing_ sex, but then that was it. The club just became another facet to the patterns of his life.

 

But then Ciel came along.

 

Such a strange child who didn’t seem like much to the normal eye. He just waltzed clumsily into Sebastian’s life and spat insults left and right. Nothing special. Just another client. A young boy who recently reached the age of consent. Some rich kid who came to spend his money on whores and the like.

 

But to Sebastian’s eye, Ciel is not normal. The look in his eye is not natural. There’s a smoldering fire hiding behind the blue of his eyes, and Sebastian longs for that fire to become wild, to grow into an uncontrollable flame so that Sebastian might bathe in it. Ciel is only seventeen, and yet he’s the Queen’s Guard Dog and the Earl Phantomhive. Barely a man and he’s already seen so much death… including the death of his own parents. He’s a classic example of someone who’s been molded by their childhood trauma, fighting for his broken family name and refusing to be a normal teenager - and yet he’s unpredictable. He has a surprising power over people, commanding them with ease, and Sebastian can tell he was born to lead. The perfect little Earl. A child who plays with demons so easily… Sebastian loves it. He loves the unpredictability Ciel offers, and now, in this dangerous game of the Reapers and Claude and Alois and Ciel, he’s delightedly on edge. The pattern has been broken.

 

“You need to chose, Sebastian,” Grell says softly, effectively snapping Sebastian out of his thoughts. He walks over to Sebastian and softens his expression. “Ciel or Claude.”

 

Sebastian nods. “I will.” As much as Sebastian loves the game he’s barely begun playing, Grell does have a point.

 

Grell sighs in relief and pats Sebastian’s head fondly. “But be careful with Ciel, Bassy,” he says. “The Phantomhives are a proud family that are not easily swayed.”

 

“And how exactly do you know this?” Sebastian asks, turning his mirthful eyes up at Grell.

 

“That’s a story for another day, Bassy dear.” Grell hums thoughtfully. “Another day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you all enjoyed Grell’s arrival! 
> 
> And so I’m thinking about my next fic - which I won’t start until I finish this bitch of a fic - and I’m thinking about doing a short neko!Sebastian fic. Would you guys think that’s a good idea to play around with??? Bc I feel like neko!Ciel is AMAZING but I want a more dominant Ciel and Sebastian is the cat person... so what if... you know... he’s the cat... But anyways, tell me what you guys think and if you want me to write some other stuff for some oneshots. IM OPEN TO ONESHOT IDEAS OF ANYTHING.
> 
> Comment to tell me what you think and please leave kudos if you like the story so far!!!


	8. One Hell of a Mystery (part two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so the plot thickens...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally brought in Undertaker. I hope you like how I painted him!

“Grell Sutcliff isn’t related to any of the Reapers?”

 

“Nope.”

 

A scoff. “Fan-fucking-tastic.”

 

“Language, my lord.”

 

“I do as I please, Sebastian,” Ciel snarls.

 

Sebastian laughs softly but then continues. “Grell isn’t related to any of the Reapers. He isn’t associated with any of the Reapers. He’s completely innocent.”

 

Ciel groans and slams his head onto the desk.

 

“You’re going to hurt yourself if you keep doing that,” Sebastian mutters.

 

“I don’t care,” Ciel mutters into the table. “All of this shit is useless and we are no closer to finding Spear.”

 

“Why do they call him the Spear?” Sebastian asks.

 

“No clue.”

 

Sebastian sighs and Ciel mentally slaps him. “If we start thinking from the point of view of a Reaper, we might get closer to the answer, my lord.”

 

“I know that,” Ciel spits angrily, still keeping his face planted into the desk.

 

“Then do it, Ciel. You’re acting even more like a child right now.”

 

Ciel grinds his teeth together. Sebastian is only saying the child comment because he knows it riles Ciel up. He wants a response out of him. He’s playing with Ciel.

 

“Well I am one, and it’s ass o’clock in the morning. I’m tired.” Ciel won’t play Sebastian’s cruel game. Not now. Now he wants sleep and warm dreams.

 

Sebastian sighs and Ciel can imagine the annoyed expression on his face. “Well, we’ve gotten nowhere with the information we have right now, so we might as well call it a night.”

 

Ciel lifts his head and nods. “I agree. There’s no point in working if we’re both exhausted.” Ciel internally cheers. _Sleeeeeep._

 

They both stand and gather their things, cleaning the table of the mess of papers and wiping at their tired eyes. Neither of them speak, but they move around each other in a seemingly practiced grace, cleaning in a quiet harmony. Ciel scoffs a bit. As much as he hates to admit it, Sebastian and him work well together. The professional respect is there and they compromise for each other in a way Ciel doesn’t do for many people. For anyone, really. But Sebastian and him seem to fit together so perfectly, and Ciel smiles softly.

 

“Tomorrow,” Ciel says. _Focus on work._ “We need more information, something to find the Spear. So, tomorrow we’re going to see the Undertaker.”

 

Sebastian raises a brow. “The Undertaker?”

 

Ciel laughs shortly, realizing that Sebastian has never met the lovely Undertaker before. “He’s a major source from the underground, and he provides me with most of my information.”

 

“And he’s trustworthy?”

 

Ciel scoffs. “He provided information for my father and he’s never told us something false. He won’t tell us anything unless he’s completely sure.”

 

Sebastian nods. “If you trust him, I will.”

 

Ciel bristles at the comment slightly. _If I trust him… Since when does Sebastian trust me like this? Since always? Well, he shouldn’t. Trust shouldn’t be earned so easily._ “I do.”

 

Sebastian only nods. “I’ll be going, then.”

 

“Do you need a ride?” Ciel asks, thinking momentarily that he could drive Sebastian home or something. Or have Tanaka drive them both there… and then…

 

Sebastian shakes his head. “Claude’s still here. We’ll ride home together.”

 

 _Ride home together._ The words strike a blow against Ciel’s chest, and he grits his teeth. That’s right. Claude. He’s painfully reminded of the reality of his situation with Sebastian. He’s nothing to Sebastian. A business associate and nothing more.

 

“He’s still here?” Ciel asks, trying to keep his voice nonchalant.

 

Sebastian laughs bitterly, and Ciel is surprised to see venom lacing Sebastian’s expression. “He’s with Alois.”

 

Oh. That’s right. Alois. How could Ciel forget? “Should I go fetch them?”

 

“No. I know my way around the mansion, I’ll find them easily enough,” Sebastian smirks wickedly.

 

“You make it sound like they’re hiding,” Ciel comments.

 

Sebastian looks up to Ciel with hellfire in his eyes. “Who knows? Maybe they are.”

 

Sebastian exists the room is an eerie silence, and Ciel says a silent prayer for Alois and Claude, knowing that a demon is now on their ass.

 

Ciel finishes putting away the rest of the papers in silence but internal turmoil. He finishes quite quickly and walks out of the room, heading towards Alois’ room so he can maybe catch Sebastian and say goodbye before he leaves. Leaves with Claude…

 

Ciel shakes his head. He can’t do this right now. He can’t be the lovestruck little boy right now. Sebastian is his business partner. Nothing more. Stripper Sebastian has to go somewhere else right now… has to go very far away…

 

Angrily, Ciel turns around and walks to his own bedroom. Sleep is far more important right now.

 

~~~

 

The next day with the Undertaker is… interesting.

 

Sebastian arrives at the mansion at five and at six he wakes up Ciel with a gentle knock. Ciel, of course, is used to Tanaka waking him up, so passively wakes up and lets Sebastian dress him… until Ciel realizes that it’s Sebastian dressing him. Again. Ciel throws Sebastian out of the room and dresses himself - he wears black slacks and a white button up, he thinks that it’s not that much of a fashion tragedy - and Sebastian deems it presentable. Sebastian drives - with Ciel’s guidance on where the hell to go - and they surprisingly arrive at the Undertaker’s little shop without much trouble. Sebastian parks on the curve and they walk into the shop.

 

The door knocks a little bell as it opens, so soft trickles sound through the cramped and dusty store. Sebastian looks around with mild disgust for the place - much to Ciel’s humor - and leans down to quietly ask Ciel if it’s always this dirty.

 

“This is one of it’s better days,” Ciel mutters.

 

The look of horror on Sebastian’s face is almost enough to pay the Undertaker’s fee, in Ciel’s opinion.

 

“Undertaker?” Ciel calls out. “You here?”

 

“Ah! The young Earl…” the Undertaker’s voice floats from somewhere in the sea of dusty boxes. He peeks his head out from behind a stack of mini caskets, and he grins widely. “And he brought a friend!”

 

“Undertaker, this is Sebastian Michaelis. My partner,” Ciel introduces Sebastian, gesturing to the man beside him.

 

Sebastian nods in greeting.

 

“Partner, eh?” Undertaker chuckles and walks out from behind the boxes and waddles closer to them. He crouches slightly and then leans up into Sebastian, and Sebastian leans away, slightly disgusted by the very grey man before him. “What do you mean by partner, young Earl?”

 

“A business partner,” Ciel says, his voice filled with annoyance. “Nothing more.”

 

Undertaker chuckles. “You sure? Because this young man standing before me, he’s quite worthy of a Phantomhive’s affections.” The Undertaker smiles widely.

 

Ciel would normally roll his eyes and ignore him, but now he’s finding that quite difficult. Sebastian, worthy of a Phantomhive’s affections? No one really deserves a Phantomhive’s affections. No one deserves to burn like that. “It doesn’t matter. He’s just my business partner.”

 

Undertaker sighs but submits to Ciel. “If you say so…”

 

“We’ve come here for business,” Sebastian cuts in. “Ciel tells me you can give us information concerning the Reapers and the Spear?”

 

The Undertaker nods. “For a price…”

 

“Money isn’t an issue,” Sebastian says boldly, and Ciel smirks at his cockiness. Just he wait… Once he discovers the Undertaker’s true method of payment, he won’t be so bold.

 

“Money isn’t my currency,” Undertaker drawls, trailing a single, grey finger up Sebastian’s chest.

 

“Then what is?” Sebastian asks hesitantly, cringing away from the Undertaker.

 

The Undertaker grins again and begins walking over to his little desk. “Laughter.”

 

Ciel sees Sebastian do a double take. “Pardon?”

 

Ciel sighs and pushes past Sebastian. “Just leave this to me, Sebastian. Wait for me outside and do _not_ come back in until I say so.”

 

Sebastian looks bewilderedly at Ciel and the Undertaker. “Are you sure…”

 

“Yes, I’m sure,” Ciel snaps. “This is normal for me, so just go outside and wait. And do _not_ come back until I say so! Understood?”

 

Sebastian nods. “Yes, my lord,” he says before leaving, the door clicking shut behind him and sending a swirl of dust into the air.

 

Ciel turns to the Undertaker and breathes in deeply. Here goes nothing.

 

~~~

 

Sebastian nearly has a heart attack when the sudden laughter explodes from inside the shop.

 

Everything was quiet, peaceful, a bit boring, but then the shop behind Sebastian seemed to burst from a nuclear bomb of shrieking laughter. He nearly runs into the shop to see what the hell is going on, but he remembers Ciel’s words and stops.

 

 _Laughter as currency…_ _What type of currency is laughter?_ Sebastian thinks. The Undertaker does not seem like a trustworthy source to Sebastian - everything is too fucking filthy and his smiles are that of a rapist’s - but Ciel seems to have a vast amount of faith in the Undertaker and his information. Sebastian sighs. Ciel has been a successful Guard Dog for this long, so he trusts Ciel’s decisions. His experience. He trusts his Ciel.

 

Ciel opens the door and Sebastian instantly walks back into the shop, and he’s surprised to see Ciel panting like a dog and the Undertaker still pounding his head into the desk from laughter.

 

“Well done, Ciel!” Undertaker exclaims between rounds of boisterous laughter. “I thought for a moment that it was going to fall flat… but then you did it! You really did! Oh wee… That was amazing….” The Undertaker trails off into little giggles and covers his mouth with a hand. Sebastian numbly notices that Undertaker’s nails are long and black… and Sebastian cringes at the length of those nails. They’re at least five centimeters long… and that’s absolutely disgusting.

 

“What did you do?” Sebastian’s asks Ciel quietly.

 

Ciel shakes his head and shudders a bit. “The unspeakable.”

 

Sebastian looks at him curiously but accepts the answer.

 

“Undertaker, you promised, now give us any new information you have,” Ciel says, and the Undertaker muffles the last of his giggles before replying.

 

“I don’t have anything at the moment… but there have been rumors.”

 

“What kind of rumors?” Ciel asks, leaning forward a bit to the Undertaker.

 

Undertaker giggles behind his hands, which now are covered by his long grey sleeves. “The Spear has revealed another motive….” he drawls.

 

“What motive?” Ciel demands. “Answer me, I’ve already given you payment.”

 

The Undertaker shrugs. “True. But is it enough?” He leans forward and puts on a wicked grin. “The Spear has suddenly become quite the hot topic down here…”

 

“Answer me, Undertaker,” Ciel demands. “My father never had problems with payment for you.”

 

The Undertaker’s smile wavers a bit. “Your father gave me quite the large payment in the beginning of our relationship… he never needed to pay me again, because he had already done so much.”

 

Ciel bristles at the comment about his father, and Sebastian can see him regretting bringing up his father in the first place.

 

“Just answer me.”

 

Undertaker sighs, but he answers, “The Spear wants to make a deal with the Guard Dog. About what, I don’t know at the moment. I know it has _something_ to do with the amnesia patients, along with mercy.”

 

“Mercy?” Ciel scoffs. “The Reaper head wants to make a deal about mercy?”

 

Undertaker shrugs. “That’s all I know at the moment.”

 

Sebastian eyes the Undertaker carefully. _At the moment?_ The Undertaker has access to more information, doesn’t he? Sebastian looks to Ciel before asking the question on his lips, but he’s surprised when he finds Ciel already looking at him.

 

“Sebastian?” Ciel asks. “Do you have anything to ask the Undertaker?’

 

Sebastian smiles before turning back to the Undertaker. His Ciel knew him so well already…. “Undertaker, I understand your shortage of information a the moment, but… could you perhaps be persuaded into acquiring more?”

 

The Undertaker's bangs move up a bit, so Sebastian assumes that he’s raising his eyebrows. “Depends… what are you offering?”

 

“Not much. Just more payment if you get this information for us,” Sebastian says nonchalantly.

 

The Undertaker chuckles. “You’ll have to pay in advance, and you _personally_ will have to. Ciel can’t do this for you.”

 

Sebastian nods. “I understand.”

 

The Undertaker grins. “I can do that.”

 

Sebastian sighs and turns to Ciel. “Can you wait in the car for a bit? I’m not sure how long this is going to take.”

 

Ciel eyes him carefully but nods. “Don’t take too long.” He walks out of the shop without another word and the door clicks shut behind him.

 

Sebastian turns to the Undertaker and sighs. “How does payment work?” He asks.

 

Undertaker smiles. “It’s simple and quite lenient. You may do what you please… but the payment is only given if I laugh hard enough…”

 

Sebastian grits his teeth slightly. How can he make this strange and quite disgusting man laugh? Laugh hard enough to pay for what Sebastian wants?

 

“First, I want to settle the terms,” Sebastian says. He needs to take control of this situation and make sure he knows everything that his happening.

 

“Alright then…” Undertaker drawls. “What do you want from me?”

 

“What do you have access to?” Sebastian asks.

 

“Many things… Mr. Michaelis… Many things…”

 

“Can you get me direct information about the Spear?”

 

“What type of information?”

 

Sebastian thinks for a moment. “Direct. I want direct quotes from the Reapers, identities, recordings, plans, anything.”

 

Undertaker grins. “What makes you think the young Earl hasn’t already asked for these things?”

 

“I know he probably already has. But you said that the Spear has suddenly become ‘the hot topic’ in the underworld, so you must have new information. Information you have not given Ciel.”

 

“Very good, very good,” Undertaker sings. “You’re a true Phantomhive lover.”

 

Sebastian narrows his eyes at the comment. “I’m no lover of Ciel’s.” Why must the Undertaker assume that Ciel and him are somehow lovers?

 

Undertaker laughs shortly. “No. Perhaps not. But you are worthy to be one.”

 

Sebastian sneers. Worthy? Of Ciel? Ciel is some young god, set up on the high pedestal of the Phantomhive name. Yes, Sebastian knows he’s damn good at everything he does, but why must the Undertaker force this image of… Ciel’s lover onto Sebastian? They had a few good nights - _very_ good nights, mind you - and yes, Ciel has… wormed his way into Sebastian’s life and soul, but worthy of Ciel? And how does the Undertaker know he’s worthy?

 

“I am nothing but Ciel’s business partner.”

 

Undertaker shrugs. “So you say. But we both know that isn’t true, Mr. Michaelis…”

 

“It’s none of your business,” Sebastian snaps. “And I am here to discuss business, not my personal life or Ciel’s. So, I want information on the Reapers and the Spear. Can you get recordings of conversations between Reapers?”

 

“Maybe,” Undertaker drawls. “For a price…”

 

Sebastian groans. “I will pay your price, but I will not do so until you confirm that my actions will not be in vain!”

 

Undertaker laughs and leans back in his dusty chair. The light filters through the dust and the small windows, and Sebastian sees a glint of green behind those grey bangs. “You don’t seem very able to pay my price, though…”

 

“ _I will do what I need to do,_ ” Sebastian grits out.

 

“Really?” Undertaker leans forward and he smiles as if an idea just struck in his mind. “Because Ciel’s already given me a great laugh… so maybe you can give me a mountain of chuckles instead…”

 

Sebastian eyes him carefully. “How so?”

 

Undertaker grins, and Sebastian cringes at it’s ruthlessness. “Tell me a story.”

 

“Sorry?” Sebastian says. A story? Like a bedtime story?

 

“Tell me the story of how you met Ciel… and I want _details_. Tell me everything.”

 

Sebastian looks at Undertaker incredulously. “And this will be sufficient for you to get the information I requested?”

 

Undertaker nods. “I’ll get your recordings that will give you a lead to track down.”

 

Sebastian knows he can’t refuse the deal, but Ciel’s waiting in the car for him. He can’t do this now, it’ll take too long. And when he gets back he has to discuss things with Tanaka and then organise dinner… Sebastian sighs. So much to do and so little time… sometimes he hates being a butler.

 

“I accept. However, I cannot pay now. If you take the rest of today to begin planning how to acquire the information I desire, then I will return at nine in the evening today to tell you the story,” Sebastian says boldly.

 

Undertaker smiles. “What makes you think that I want to see you that late?”

 

“People like you don’t go to bed early,” Sebastian says.

 

The Undertaker purses his lips and nods thoughtfully. “True… true… very well! I agree to your amendment of the deal. Tonight, be here at nine and tell me the lovely tale…”

 

Sebastian nods. “Very well. Until tonight, then.”

 

“Until tonight,” Undertaker murmurs.

 

Sebastian walks out of the door and just before it closes, he hears Undertaker say, “I look forward to the story!”

 

When he opens the driver’s seat and climbs into the car, he’s surprised to see Ciel passed out in the passenger seat.

 

 _Was it really that long?_ Sebastian wonders. _But then again, the boy hasn’t been getting much sleep…_

 

The bag under Ciel’s eye has always been present, but it went away a little when they started their arrangement at the club. Ciel always came to him tired and stressed, but he’d always look a little happier each time he came. Sebastian assumed he was the boy’s cure to whatever work he was doing for the Funtom company, but he now knows that he was Ciel’s stress reliever for when the Reapers became too frustrating for him. Sebastian smiles and turns the engine on - silently rejoicing for how quiet the car is and how soundproof the windows are - and begins driving home.

 

He curses every single pothole on the road home - there’s honestly not that manny, but Sebastian still sneers cruelty at every bump in the road that might disturb his precious Ciel’s sleep. He scoffs. _His Ciel._ Ciel isn’t his, but it’s getting harder and harder to believe that. Ciel was _his_ client. Ciel was _his_ secret. Ciel is _his_ commander. _His_ master. _His_ desire. The boy broke the damned patterns of Sebastian’s life and he wants Ciel to keep breaking it. Ciel will break down and rage and drop down to the levels of hell, but he will then rise - out of nowhere - into the air with hellfire as his weapon and he strikes down his enemies. One moment, you’ll think that he’s finally cracked and become the little boy he is, but then he’s smirking at you and challenging your very existence. He was so flustered at Grell’s place, but he then regained control and focused on his work. Focused on the task at hand.

 

A true Phantomhive.

 

Sebastian has heard of the Phantomhive pride and name so much, recently, but he has a feeling he’s only scratched the surface of what the name means. He knows that Vincent Phantomhive was the previous Guard Dog and that he was also a very strong and prideful man, but Ciel seems to treat his family name as more than being ‘the Guard Dog.’ To be a Phantomhive or to even be associated with the Phantomhives seems to be such a big deal. Sebastian wonders why.

 

What does it mean to be a Phantomhive?

 

They arrive back at the mansion in peace and Ciel has still not awoken, and Sebastian doesn’t have the heart to wake him. He gently carries Ciel out of the car in his arms, and he silently coos at how precious Ciel looks in his arms.

 

_If only you could be mine…_

 

Sebastian carries him all the way to Ciel’s bedroom and not once does the boy stir.

 

_And if only I could be yours…_

 

He sets Ciel down on his bed gently - supporting his slumbering head of blue - and he treats him like fine china. His eye moves ever so gently behind his eyelid and Sebastian softly marvels at the boy’s skin. So smooth and so untouched by the world, and Sebastian internally curses Ciel for his lack of acne. The boy is seventeen and not a spot of acne taints his angelic skin. His lashes flutter against his pale skin oh so sweetly, and Sebastian is reminded of how they fluttered even more quickly when they moved together. When Sebastian danced a sinful dance that echoed the throes of basic pleasure, and when Ciel rocked back against him, discovering this pleasure for the first time. Ciel’s a virgin - Sebastian has no doubt about that - but Sebastian finds that only more alluring. Sebastian is the only one who has ever touched Ciel like that. Sebastian is the only one who has ever kissed Ciel’s skin. Sebastian is the only one who’s whispered sin into Ciel’s ear. Sebastian is the only one who’s ever made Ciel feel like that.

 

But Ciel is not Sebastian’s. Sebastian hates how Ciel has become something real and tangible - instead of remaining his secret and dirty dream. Ciel doesn’t belong to Sebastian. Not out here. Not in the real world. In their little world of pleasure, he did. But here? As the Archangel and the Guard Dog? Sebastian is tied to Claude - his lifelong lover - and Ciel is tied to the Phantomhive name. Sebastian misses the days of dreamlike pleasure.

 

Unthinkingly, Sebastian traces Ciel’s face with a single hand, and he internally groans at the feeling of Ciel’s skin under his hand. He’s missed this. Ciel. Claude… Claude has become his pattern, and Sebastian is sorry to say that he’s bored of the pattern.

 

He traces Ciel’s eyelashes, his chin, his little button nose that Sebastian wants to nibble in the middle of intense sex, and ever so softly, he traces Ciel’s lips. They’re thin and a bit dry and cracked from Ciel always chewing on them when’s he’s annoyed by people - which is quite often, especially ever since Alois came into his life - but Sebastian has never seen more desirable lips. He wants to kiss these lips… mark them with red, lick them and watch them open to frame a delicious moan… but he can’t. He can’t do these things to Ciel.

 

Sebastian stands up and walks to the door, throwing one last look back at Ciel.

 

He belongs to Claude, right now. And he will do nothing to claim Ciel as if own as long as he belongs to Claude. Sebastian may not have many morals, but he believes in loyalty. He is dating Claude Faustus and he will not betray him until he is betrayed first. _Until_. Sebastian scoffs as he exits Ciel’s room.

 

It’s only a matter of time until Claude betrays him with Alois.

 

~~~

 

_“Sebastian…” Ciel whines, throwing his head back in pleasure._

 

_Sebastian stops momentarily and looks back up at Ciel. “Ciel?”_

 

_Ciel shudders. The way Sebastian says his name… the way he does anything, really, it does something to him. It does everything to him. He becomes pudding under Sebastian’s sinful hands. “Don’t stop,” Ciel whispers, and Sebastian leans back up to kiss him sweetly._

 

_Ciel won’t have it, though, so he grabs a fistful of Sebastian’s hair and tugs him closer to his body. Closer and closer and closer. Is it possible to have absolutely no space between two people? To truly become one creature in pleasure?_

 

_The roll of Sebastian’s hips answers Ciel’s question._

 

_Yes._

 

_It’s possible._

 

_It’s so possible, and Ciel wants it. He wants more. He wants Sebastian… Sebastian… Sebastian._

 

_But the hands of hell on Ciel soon become the hands of heaven._

 

_Blood replaces the sweat and suddenly the bed becomes stone. Ciel looks up to try to see Sebastian’s face, his comforting expression of hell, but instead he sees a black mask. A silent scream rips its way out of Ciel’s throat and he throws himself away from the man touching him. The man’s hands are black and cold and claim to be from heaven, and Ciel hates it._

 

_He can’t escape this grasp however, and Ciel screams again when the hands start touching the secret places of his body. They touch his body and somehow go inside, tainting the soul that his body houses, and he screams again. He screams and he screams and he thrashes away from those hands but it won’t stop._

 

_They touch his hair._

 

_They touch his shoulders._

 

_His stomach._

 

_His eyes._

 

_His skin._

 

_His flesh._

 

_His soul._

 

Ciel wakes up screaming.

 

~~~

 

Sebastian is cleaning his shoes when he hears Ciel’s scream.

 

Instantly, he drops everything on the floor - uncaring of the shoe polish that spills on the wood - and runs. He runs up the stairs, through the halls, and he bursts into Ciel’s room. With knives brandished, he prepares himself to fight whatever it is that could possibly scare Ciel Phantomhive. The windows are closed and the curtains are drawn and everything is just as Sebastian left it, but the boy in the bed is still screaming. Sebastian rushes over to Ciel’s bedside and watches the boy frantically. He’s thrashing about in his bed and Sebastian sees no visibly foe he can kill, so he puts away his knives and grabs Ciel’s shoulders.

 

“Ciel!” Sebastian shouts, shaking Ciel a bit.

 

Ciel doesn’t wake, but his screams turn into whimpers and Sebastian sees tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

 

Sebastian - not knowing what the hell to do - cradles Ciel in his arms and surrounds him in his own warmth, hoping that he can somehow calm Ciel down. Ciel thrashes in Sebastian’s arms, but he then stills. In the midst of Ciel’s screams, his eyepatch has fallen off and Sebastian unthinkingly marvels at the eye he’s never seen before. It’s paler than the rest of his skin - somehow - and it’s so… perfect. There’s no scar that Sebastian can see, and he wonders why Ciel even wears the patch. His hand moves to cradle Ciel’s now sleeping face, a single finger lightly traces the lashes of the uncovered eye. Another one joins to lightly brush across the eye, but that’s apparently the wrong thing to do.

 

Ciel practically explodes in Sebastian’s arms and screams the most terrified and pained scream Sebastian has ever heard from a child. Ciel throws himself away from Sebastian and Sebastian lunges after him.

 

_He has to wake up from whatever nightmare he’s suffering from._

 

“Ciel!” Sebastian shakes Ciel again and drags him back into his arms. “Wake up!”

 

Ciel lets out one last yelp but then his eyes open and he’s panting in Sebastian’s arms. Hair falls in front of his face to cover the wounded eye - if it even is wounded - but his good eye peeks out from behind all the unnatural blue hair and locks onto him.

 

“Sebastian?” Ciel whispers, and Sebastian’s heart nearly breaks at the sound of Ciel’s voice. It’s small, childish, and utterly terrified.

 

“Ciel,” Sebastian breathes out, and he embraces Ciel tightly, burying his face into the boy’s hair. “You’re okay, you’re okay.”

 

Ciel surprisingly doesn’t push Sebastian away or snap some snarky remark at him, but simply burrows into Sebastian’s arms and breathes.

 

They stay there like that for some time, an eternity, a few moments, Sebastian isn’t sure, but all too soon Ciel leans away and puts his hands on Sebastian’s chest.

 

“You came for me,” Ciel whispers quietly, his voice barely reaching Sebastian’s ears.

 

Sebastian nods. “You were screaming; what was I supposed to do? Not come?”

 

Ciel doesn’t look at him. “It was just a nightmare.”

 

“I didn’t know that,” Sebastian murmurs, bringing a hand back up to Ciel’s face, cradling it gently. “I thought someone was hurting you.”

 

Ciel laughs sadly and quietly. “Not anymore.”

 

Sebastian eyes the top of Ciel’s head carefully. “What do you mean by that?” He asks.

 

“It’s nothing,” Ciel says, turning his face away from Sebastian’s hand on his cheek.

 

“It doesn’t sound like nothing,” Sebastian says softly, moving his hand to the spot between Ciel’s shoulder blades.

 

“They’re dead,” Ciel says plainly. “It’s nothing because they’ve become nothing. Ashes and no more.”

 

“Ghosts can still hurt people, you know,” Sebastian murmurs.

 

Ciel scoffs. “Ghosts are only illusions. The only thing of the last that can hurt us is ourselves.”

 

Sebastian isn’t sure how to respond, so he just begins Ciel to his chest again and holds the boy. _The boy._ Sebastian rolls his eyes slightly. Ciel isn’t a boy, not a little one. He’s tall - but Sebastian’s still much taller -, lanky, and lean muscles line his bones and frame his body. His jaw is sharp and while it’s not quite square, it’s no longer soft and round like that of a child’s. This is not a child in Sebastian’s arms, it’s a young man. A young man who can’t escape the demons of his past.

 

“You know that I’m here for you, right?” Sebastian says quietly. “I’m here when you need me.”

 

Ciel freezes in Sebastian’s arms and Sebastian mentally curses himself. _Wrong thing to say to the kid with self esteem issues and nightmares._

 

“I don’t need you,” Ciel whispers, and his grip on Sebastian’s shirt tightens. “I am my own person with my own demons and my own life. I don’t need you.”

 

Sebastian integrally flinches at Ciel’s words. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

 

Ciel scoffs. “I know.” His voice has become annoyed but he doesn’t move from Sebastian’s lap. Sebastian doesn’t mention it and he’s scared to move at all, in case Ciel comes to his senses and pushes him away.

 

“But…” Ciel whispers quietly. “I… I want you.”

 

The words are damning to Sebastian’s resolve.

 

_Ciel isn’t mine Ciel isn’t mine Ciel isn’t mine._

 

Ciel moves a bit in Sebastian’s lap and curls into his chest. “I know that you’ll be here when I want you.”

 

Sebastian wraps his arms around Ciel again and has to resist the urge to kiss the top of Ciel’s head. “I’ll be here.”

 

Ciel falls asleep again in Sebastian’s arms, and when Sebastian realizes this, he lays Ciel back down onto his bed and pulls the covers around him. He brushes the hair out of Ciel’s face and his traitorous thumb brushes across Ciel’s bottom lip.

 

_I want you._

 

Sebastian bites his fist as he leaves the room.

 

_As I want you, my Ciel._

 

~~~

 

Sebastian goes back to the Undertaker at nine, as he promised, and when he opens the door, the light in the room is extremely weak and Sebastian sneezes slightly from the dust.

 

“Gesundheit, Mr, Michaelis,” Undertaker drawls.

 

Sebastian doesn’t greet him in return, but silently takes a seat across from Undertaker at his desk. “It’s fucking filthy in here.”

 

Undertaker laughs shortly and loudly, and Sebastian merely stares at him blankly. He’s here on a mission, and he has mentally prepared for the Undertaker’s tricks. He won’t lie to him, but the story of how he met Ciel is quite personal and emotional. He wants to make sure he remains in full control of himself.

 

“I don’t care enough to clean the place,” Undertaker admits. “It means nothing to me, anyways. Let it rot.”

 

Sebastian nods slightly. _It doesn’t matter how much you hate a place, you should always keep it clean,_ Sebastian thinks, but he puts away that thought. He has business to attend to. “In exchange for the information I requested, you wish for me to tell you the story of how Ciel and I met, correct?”

 

“Of how your relationship began,” Undertaker confirms. “And I want no detail spared. If you can remember the detail, then you will tell me it. No matter how small. I want to know about the little freckle under his left eye; the strand of grey behind his ear; and the way his lips quirked up to the left when he smirked. I want it all.”

 

“He doesn’t have a freckle under his left eye,” Sebastian says lowly.

 

Undertaker sighs. “Ciel doesn’t.” The Undertaker rubs his hands together slightly and he smiles sadly. “But another man, very much like him, did.”

 

Sebastian nods, wondering briefly if the Undertaker is referring to Vincent. He is very much like Ciel, and the Undertaker knew Vincent quite well. But to know little details like that? Sebastian doubts Undertaker would pay attention to such small things, much even less see them from behind his bangs. But then again, the Undertaker is a weird ass person, so to each their own. Sebastian screws his eyes shut and opens them again in an attempt to _stay focused._ “It’s going to take me a while, if you want that many details.”

 

“We have all night,” Undertaker reminds Sebastian. “Like you said, I’m not the type of person to go to bed at a reasonable time.”

 

“Then let us begin,” Sebastian murmurs.

 

“I used to work for a man named Grell Sutcliff, a madman who often refers to himself as a woman. We knew each other when we were younger, and since I was a uni student trying to make more money, I went to him for help. He runs the strip club downtown named _Facilis Descensus Averno,_ so I took some dance and pole classes and began working there as a stripper. I was bored with life, incredulously so, so I took the job to satisfy that boredom and spite Claude - my boyfriend - a bit. The dancing helped break the boring patterns of my life for a while, but soon enough, the club only became another pattern in my horribly dull life.” Sebastian chuckles. “Well, at least until Ciel.

 

“Ciel came in with a girl in tow, something I did not expect to see at a gay strip club. I accepted it however, and just continued with life. They were people beyond my interest and I had a client for an hour after my dance. But Ciel… he ended up being the client that booked me, so then, we had some… interesting times together. He was wearing this god awful blue shirt…”

 

Sebastian talked for a long time that night, and with every word, Undertaker held onto it and studied it. The story of how Ciel Phantomhive and Sebastian Michaelis met became the Undertaker’s to analyze and break apart, and the Undertaker is not merciful when it comes to the lives of the Phantomhives.

 

Why would he, anyways? The Phantomhives were never merciful with him, so he is merely returning the favor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So school has been really busy lately, so I’m probably going to bupdating less frequently now, like once or twice a week. But I won’t abandon the fic, I’m giving myself hell so I can actually FINISH WRITING A STORY FOR ONCE but yeah thanks to everyone who reads an comments and leaves kudos! You guys make my day.


	9. One Hell of a Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeey peeps! The next chapter is here! And some actually plot happens in this chapter! *distant sobbing* I’m sorry about the slow burn, I know it must be frustrating. BUT something is actually going to happen now! Muhahaha
> 
> *now slightly edited bc I found SO MANY mistakes it’s nothing big just a couple spelling errors and shit*

“Why didn’t you tell me about Sebastian?” Alois asks Claude, feigning innocence on his bright face. 

 

The pair are laying in Alois’ bed in Ciel’s mansion, while Sebastian and Ciel are out talking with witnesses about Reaper identities and the like. Claude was originally supposed to go - along with Alois - but Alois had whined and complained and pulled out every single card he could to stay home with Claude. Ciel had relented to Alois’ pleas and so Claude and him had the whole day to themselves. Alone. They spent the first half of it in the gardens, playing cards and just talking, but Alois wanted to go inside for the amazing bed and to hide from the impending rain clouds.

 

Alois’ bed is the fluffiest thing known to mankind and it’s even better when Claude’s laying in it with him.

 

“You’ve already asked me this,” Claude mutters.

 

Alois pouts and throws himself onto Claude’s lap, laying down one his back so he can stare up at the man he loves. “And you didn’t answer me!”

 

“What is there to say, Alois?” Claude asks. “You were my patient and I wanted you separate from Sebastian. You’re in a different part of my life.”

 

“But he’s your boyfriend,” Alois says quietly. Claude has distracted Alois from the topic of Sebastian for days now, and every time he asks about Sebastian he’s refused to give Alois the answer Alois believes he deserves. But Alois will take it no longer. He will have his answers. 

 

Claude sighs. “He is.”

 

“Then what am I?” Alois demands, sitting up and staring intensely at Claude. “What am I to you, Claude? A side whore?”

 

Claude narrows his eyes at Alois. “You know that isn’t true.”

 

“But you’re with Sebastian!” Alois exclaims. “I remember everything now,  _ everything _ , and I’m here, with you, alone, and you still stay with Sebastian! You still go home with him and fuck him every night while I’m here! Alone!”

 

“I don’t fuck Sebastian -” Claude mutters.

 

“Or he fucks you!” Alois shouts. “I don’t care how the sex works, there’s sex. But you still see me. You still come to this house everyday and you act as if you’re mine!”

 

“You didn’t let me finish,” Claude says lowly. 

 

“The finish your damn sentence,” Alois spits, crossing his arms and frowning at Claude. There’s little tears forming in the corners of his mind and Alois wants nothing more but for Claude to notice them and kiss them away.

 

“I don’t fuck Sebastian anymore,” Claude says. “I used to. Yes, I did. But ever since you remembered everything, I haven’t touched him. He doesn’t touch me. We just… exist with each other. Nothing more.”

 

“So why are you still dating him?” Alois mutters. He internally shouts for joy at the little victory, but he doesn’t let it show. He wants his answers first.

 

“It’s complicated,” Claude says, running a hand through his hair. 

 

“I’ve got plenty of time, so start explaining,” Alois snaps.

 

Claude sighs and drags Alois into his lap. Alois protests - a tiny bit - but Claude’s hands are strong and they ensnare Alois quite easily. Once Alois is straddling Claude properly, Claude takes his face into his hands and stares into Alois’ eyes. “Sebastian saved my life about a decade ago. I won’t get into the details of how, but he saved my life in almost every way there is. And I saved him... a bit. We have been each other’s rock for so many years, Alois.” Claude brushes a strand of hair out of Alois’ eye. “We’ve been  _ lovers _ for so many years. It’s not easy to throw something like that away. Even when we do break up, we’ll still be close. We have a history, a rich and dark and corrupting history. And it binds us.”

 

Alois doesn’t respond, but just stares back into Claude’s eyes. Every word engraves itself into Alois’ brain, and he waits for the final verdict. The final choice. 

 

“But you’re outside of that history,” Claude murmurs. “You’re the little bipolar amnesiac who loves me. Who loves me even if you couldn’t remember me.”

 

Claude brings Alios’ face closer to his own and breathes against Alois’ thin lips. “You’re the soul I can’t resist.”

 

Alois smirks slightly at Claude. “Then why haven’t you taken me?”

 

Claude tilts his head in slight confusion.

 

“If I’m so irresistible, then why haven’t you taken me? Made me yours?” Alois trails a finger up Claude’s chest and under his strong chin. “Why haven’t you devoured me?”

 

Now it’s Claude’s turn to smirk. “I haven’t had the chance,” Claude breathes. His voice drops to a dangerously beautiful tone and he puts his lips beside Alois’ right ear. “I don’t want to rush with you, and there’s never been enough time for me to properly take you. There’s always been too many eyes and too little time.”

 

“There’s time now,” Alois quirks, and he bites Claude’s earlobe possessively. “I want to be yours. I want you to be mine. Sebastian and Ciel aren’t here right now, and there’s time now.” Alois rolls his hips into Claude and groans at the pleasure it gives his little boner. “Take me.”

 

The growl that rips from Claude’s throat is heavenly to Alois. He lunges at Alois and shoves him into the mattress and Alois sings victoriously in silence. He kisses Alois violently, and his tongue is demanding and it takes everything from Alois.

 

“Take me,” Alois whines, arching his spine up and into Claude. “Make me yours.”

 

_ Mark me so they know that I am yours. _

 

Claude bites his ear and rumbles, “Are you sure you want that?”

 

Alois nods quickly.

 

_ Mark me so they know you are mine. _

 

“Are you sure you want this now?” Claude snarls, pressing his entire body into Alois’. 

 

“Yes yes yes,” Alois chants. “Take me, just take me.”

 

_ Take me. _

 

Claude assaults Alois’ mouth again before responding. “Ciel and Sebastian could return early.”

 

“I don’t care,” Alis pants out. 

 

_ Just take me and bind us. _

 

“Really?” Claude’s laugh vibrates Alois’ entire body and he shivers. “They could walk in at any moment, and they would open the door unknowingly and they would be greeted with quite a sight.”

 

“I don’t care,” Alois repeats. “I’m yours.”

 

_ Bind me to you. _

 

Claude chuckles darkly. “They’d walk in, chattering away about the case and some witness, and their eyes would fall upon this bed. They’d see me topping you, and they’d see you moaning beneath me and they’d be horrified. Your precious little mewls and cries would reach their ears, and they would hear my name fall from your lips. Because you’re mine. Mine.” 

 

The image paints itself so clearly in Alois’s mind, and he shudders from the dark promise in Claude’s words, at the way the lewd image becomes so real in his heart. He won’t admit the way his stomach clenches at the words, the way fire grips his soul and fear clutches his small and damaged heart, because he knows he needs this. He needs Claude. He needs Claude to take him. He’s been alone for too long, and he never wants Claude to leave him.

 

“I’d let you,” Alois whispers, burying his face in Claude’s neck. He promises himself that this fear is irrational, that Claude would never hurt him. He trusts Claude. “I’m yours. So just  _ take me _ .”

 

_ I need you to want me. _

 

Claude doesn’t move for a moment, but his grip then tightens on Alois and he kisses Alois’ hair gently. “Alois. Look at me.”

 

Alois, for some reason, doesn’t move from his tight embrace around Claude.

 

“Please.” The word is small but it’s spoken so softly, so kindly, so Alois loosens his grip and leans back to look into Claude’s eyes. 

 

Alois expects to see hellfire in his soldier’s eyes, but there isn’t any fire in them. There’s warmth instead.

 

_ Warmth like a small candle. _

 

“You’re mine,” Claude whispers, tracing Alois’ jaw. He suddenly kisses Alois with such gentle love and the fire in Alois’ soul is replaced with the warmth. “And… And I’m yours,” Claude murmurs. He kisses Alois slowly now and instead of taking, he seems to be giving to Alois. Giving what he can. Giving promises of love and safety and comfort. Giving this new and better fire to him. He gives Alois the warmth he craves so much, the warmth of love.

 

_ I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be loved… to be loved this much. To feel this love aching in my bones and marking my soul. And I’ve never been loved like this before; it’s always been Luka, and he was my brother. Claude isn’t my brother. _

 

_ He’s my… my lover. _

 

Claude drags Alois up with him as he kneels on the bed, and he raises Alois onto his hips and kisses him from the new angle. Alois practically melts from the kiss Claude gives him, and he relishes in the sweet turn this took. The look of… of absolute  _ lust _ in Claude’s eyes scared Alois, but he couldn’t let that scare him. He was Claude’s to take and to mark and to destroy. But Alois feels safe now, wrapped in Claude’s arms, and the warmth floods him. 

 

_ That’s right…  _ Alois thinks.  _ I wanted warmth. Ciel wants fire… a cruel and devastating fire. I don’t want to be burnt. I’ve had my taste of hellfire. I don’t want it. I want warmth.  _

 

Claude kisses him deeper, and Alois lets himself open for Claude.

 

_ And Claude knows my desire for this warmth.  _

 

“Alois…” Claude murmurs, dragging his hands down Alois’s back. “Alois…”

 

_ Claude knows of my love. _

 

“I love you, Claude,” Alois whispers. 

 

“I know,” Claude replies. “I know.”

 

Alois whines against Claude’s mouth and kisses him harder. He’s inexperienced but he’s not going to let that stop him. He trusts Claude. Claude will guide him. “Don’t you love me?”

 

_ Don’t you also feel this warmth? Not just this fire that scares me so much?  _

 

Claude groans into Alois’s mouth and kisses him back with the same strength. “I do, I do, trust me I  _ do _ .”

 

“Then day it,” Alois demands between the kisses. “Tell me you love me.”

 

_ Tell me you feel this warmth. Tell me, please. Tell me so the nightmares won’t plague me. _

 

Claude presses him gently into the bed and kisses him gently again. His lips whisper a thousand different secrets that Alois can’t understand yet, but he drinks every single one of them in. 

 

_ Just tell me. _

 

_ Tell me what I need to here. I am human and I need to be loved. _

 

“ _ I love you _ ,” Claude whispers, his voice barely audible. “I love you so much.”

 

Alois stares at Claude in shock.

 

“I love you, Alois,” Claude says, and he laughs slightly, bending down to kiss Alois’ forehead. “I love you so damn much.”

 

_ I love you…  _

 

Alois laughs back. “I love you too.”

 

_ I love you  _

 

_ I love you  _

 

_ I love you. _

 

Claude kisses him again, and the kiss feels like spring. “I love you.”

 

Alois giggles in joy as Claude flips them over so Alois is straddling him and they kiss again. 

 

_ You love me  _

 

_ You love me  _

 

_ You love me.  _

 

“I love you, I love you, I love you.”

 

“Make love to me, Claude,” Alois whispers. 

 

Claude looks up at him with gold eyes. “Okay.”

 

Alois nearly explodes from the butterflies in his little stomach, and he feels little tears forming in the crinkles of his eyes. But these tears are happy tears. Claude loves him. He loves him. Someone, someone like Claude, loves him.

 

_ Someone finally loves me back…  _

 

Claude maneuvers them in the bed so Alois is laying below Claude in a comfortable way, and Claude slowly pulls up Alois’ shirt, revealing pale skin marked and blotched with small scars. He traces every single scar he finds on Alois’ skin, and Alois shivers up against him. He leans back up to kiss Alois, languidly moving his tongue around Alois’, dancing some strange dance that Alois is yet to learn. 

 

They kiss for some time, and Alois can’t complain. He wants to kiss Claude for forever, but something nags him in the back of his mind. Making love isn’t just kissing. Making love is sex with feeling, with emotion, with  _ love _ , but Claude isn’t doing that right now. 

 

_ Does Claude not love me?  _ Alois thinks bitterly.  _ Am I not worthy to be made love to? Why isn’t he making love to me? I can take it! I want it! _

 

So Alois kisses Claude harder, trying to silently convey what he wants. What he wants to give Claude. He wants to give Claude his entire being: mind, body and soul. Claude already knows Alois’ mind. He has his soul. And now he just needs to take Alois’ body.

 

_ Make me yours so I can never leave you. So you can never abandon me. _

 

Claude responds to Alois’ strengthening kisses, and he grips Alois’ hair tightly and Alois wraps his legs around Claude’ hips, pushing up against his Claude. They both momentarily falter, and the sweetest whine escapes Alois’ lips from the feeling of his desire pressed up against Claude.

 

“Is that your dick?” Alois asks bluntly.

 

Claude momentarily sputters for words before kissing Alois on the forehead. “Could you be a little less crude at times?”

 

“You’re the one who was describing Ciel and Sebastian walking in on our fuckfest,” Alois shoots back, and he rocks his hips up into Claude again, earning a quiet moan from the man. 

 

“This isn’t going to be a fuckfest,” Claude murmurs when he gets his bearing back. “You want me to make love to you, no?” He traps Alois in another sweet kiss. “So I’m not going to fuck you. I’m going to give you everything I have and give you love.”

 

Alois nods, not knowing how to reply, and he kisses Claude again. 

 

“I’m going to -”

 

“Claude?”

 

The word cuts through the room like a cold knife, and Claude throws himself away from Alois in one swift motion.

 

There, standing in the doorway, is Sebastian, dressed in proper butler attire and wearing an expression of pure and innocent pain. His hair is a bit damp, and Alois numbly realizes that it’s raining outside. When did it start raining?

 

“Sebastian,” Claude says, his voice tight. “I can explain-”

 

“I don’t need it,” Sebastian snaps, his eyes turning icy and a sneer replacing his shock. “I know exactly what’s going on here.”

 

Alois looks to Claude desperately. “Claude?” He asks quietly, feeling fear retake his heart. 

 

_ Come back. Come back to me. You said you love me you SAID. Don’t you dare leave me Claude, not you Claude. Please, just LOOK AT ME. _

 

Claude turns back to Alois, and his eyes become determined and his jaw sets. He moves back to Alois and Alois throws himself into Claude’s arms.

 

_ Don’t leave me.  _

 

“Can I help you, Sebastian?” Claude asks, and Alois buries his face into Claude’s shoulder again.

 

_ Chose me and never leave me. _

 

~~~

 

“I still think Grell is somehow related to the case,” Ciel mutters angrily while staring out into the rain. 

 

Sebastian is in the driver's seat, his eyes trained on the road, and he sighs for the hundredth time that day. “So do I, my lord, but there’s no evidence for that.”

 

“His eyes?” Ciel points out. “His suspicious boyfriend?” 

 

“His eyes are a phenomenon we can’t yet explain and his boyfriend is just a doctor who comes from a  _ very _ rich family with a lot of protection,” Sebastian says. “And it’s Grell’s  _ fiancé _ , not boyfriend.”

 

Ciel scoffs. “It’s basically the same thing. Nothing changes, they just know that their going to get the law involved in their relationship pretty damn soon.”

 

Sebastian laughs shortly. “It sounds like you don’t agree with the ideas of marriage, my lord.”

 

“Had I been born into Victorian England, I would have to marry Elizabeth,” Ciel mutters. “My parents married because their parents wanted them too, and they weren’t a happy couple.”

 

Sebastian’s eyebrows push together in confusion. “I thought you had a happy family.”

 

“I did,” Ciel says. “Everything was perfect for me, and my parents most definitely did not hate each other, but they weren’t in love.” Ciel looks down at his hands and recalls the summers picnics and late thunderstorms. “They didn’t have that fire.”

 

Sebastian nods. “I see your point of view.”

 

Ciel laughs. “Good. It’s be horrible if you didn’t, because the argument I had with Elizabeth about marriage nearly destroyed the entire mansion.”

 

“I can believe that,” Sebastian says, chuckling. 

 

They arrive at the mansion after a few minutes, and Sebastian opens a large, black umbrella for the two of them. Ciel grudgingly joins Sebastian under it, but he silently revels in how close he is to Sebastian, and the in the warmth Sebastian radiates. They walk briskly into the manor and chuck off their muddy shoes and Ciel breathes in the warm air of his home.

 

“It’s fucking freezing out there,” Ciel says to Sebastian.

 

“It’s England, my lord,” Sebastian says plainly, and Ciel has to give him that.

 

“I’m going to my office for a bit, I need some alone time after so many interviews. Go find Claude and Alois. There’s no more work we need to do today.”

 

“Yes, my lord,” Sebastian murmurs as he bows slightly, and Ciel rolls his eyes as he heads to his room. Sebastian has no need to call Ciel ‘my lord.’ He’s not actually his butler and no one really cares about titles anymore. It’s just Tanaka being a posh prick and Sebastian being a playful jackass. The first time he called Ciel ‘my lord’ was at that goddamn strip club, for god’s sake. 

 

_ He’s just doing it to rile you up, Ciel. _

 

When Ciel arrives in his office, he throws all of his papers and bag onto the desk and plops onto the couch. He groans into the pillow and pleasantly relaxes into the soft piece of furniture. So many interviews today… and none of them led anywhere. Ciel chuckles bitterly. This Reaper case is going nowhere and it’s really starting to kill Ciel. There’s so many little details here and there, scattered about, but Ciel has no idea how to put them together or figure out what they mean. He has no real leads and he’s dying because of it.

 

Sitting back up, he loses his sight for a moment, and when he can finally see again, he makes a very important decision. He is going to take a very long nap that will last until three in the morning. Fuck showering and eating dinner. He’s going to sleep; he’s been getting far too little of that recently. 

 

He moves to his bedroom, but as soon as he lays down onto his lovely bed, he realizes that he should probably bid Sebastian goodbye. And Claude. And Alois. He groans sadly as he realizes that he has to get back up and talk to more people. 

 

_ Fuck people. People are shit. _

 

Ciel drags himself out of his bed and begins the trek to Alois’ room. They’re probably there, since the rain has plagued England again and since Alois is in love with his bed. Ciel sighs. He’s fine with people - some people - and he understands the importance of manners and all that shit, but right now, he’s just so tired. With Sebastian in the car, he was still on alert since it’s… you know,  _ Sebastian -  _ but now that’s he’s spent a few minutes alone and getting mentally prepares for sleep, he has no more energy. No more will-power. The only important in his life right now is sleep.

 

Which is quite funny, actually, since Ciel either adore sleep or hates it. He hates having to require sleep to replenish his energy - which was one appeal of having Sebastian ‘fix’ him every time he hit rock bottom: sleep wasn’t required. However, sleep itself is a blessing and so enjoyable when the nightmares don’t plague him. He likes dreamland, believe it or not, and he likes it because of the control he has in his good dreams. He can make anything happen and get anyone.  _ If only life were like those good dreams…  _

 

He arrives at Alois’ hallway and vaguely notices the silence. He opens the already cracked open door and numbly enters. He’s too tired to truly observe the room, so he just opens his mouth and says, “I’ve come to bid you all good day and goodnight, since I’m going to retire for bed right now. Don’t ask why, I’m just too fucking-.”

 

“Not now, Ciel,” a harsh voice interrupts Ciel, and he nearly flinches from the ice in the words. 

 

He looks up, surprised by the coldness in what he realizes to be Sebastian’s voice. Blinking like an newborn colt, Ciel wills himself to be a little more perceptive of what’s going on in the room, and he’s shocked by what his eyes tell his brain and what his brain makes of the situation. 

 

Claude and Alois lay together in bed, and not in a friendly, platonic manner, but in a quite…  _ intimate _ manner. One of Alois’ legs are thrown across Claude’s lap, and their lips are red from what Ciel presumes to be kisses and Claude’s shirt is half unbuttoned. The sex hair is painfully obvious, and one of Alois’ hands is tangled in Claude’s hair. Claude has his own protective grip around Alois, and Ciel is surprised to see him so…  _ possessive _ if Alois. 

 

“What’s going on here?” Ciel asks, regaining some of his common sense.  _ Don’t just stand and stare like an idiot.  _

 

“That is not your question to ask, Ciel,” Sebastian says lowly.

 

Okay, so maybe Ciel hasn’t quite regained his common sense.  _ This is a personal matter, Ciel. You should leave now. Let them figure it out.  _ He mentally slaps himself and begins to retreat from the room. 

 

“I’ll go now,” Ciel murmurs quietly, but to his surprise, Sebastian stops him.

 

“Not yet,” he says. 

 

Ciel turns back to Sebastian in surprise. “Pardon?”

 

Sebastian looks to Ciel with eyes colder than Ciel’s father’s heart. “Don’t leave. You need to be here for this.”

 

Ciel looks to Sebastian incredulously.  _ Now who’s the one with no common sense? _ Ciel would usually demand to know why he’s being dragged into this situation, but the look in Sebastian’s eyes silences him. Fighting back won’t make this picture any prettier. 

 

“Okay,” he whispers, resuming his spot of standing there awkwardly, and he waits for Sebastian’s move.  _ Do I really want to be a part of this?  _ Ciel wonders.  _ Is this drama really worth my time? I’m tired as fuck right now, and if I have to make any important decisions I might make the wrong ones. That’s not good. At all.  _ But the look in Sebastian’s eye terrifies Ciel - a bit, only a bit - and he doesn’t dare cross Sebastian right now. Not when he’s like this. 

 

Sebastian nods, satisfied, and then turns back to the couple on the bed. By now, they’ve made themselves slightly more presentable, but to Ciel’s surprise - again, because nothing seems to be unsurprising to Ciel at the moment - Alois is still holding onto Claude with a determined expression.

 

_ Come at me,  _ his expression seems to say.  _ Try and take me away from him. _

 

Ciel has to admire him for the courage he has, staring Sebastian down, even if it’s stupid as fuck. 

 

“In what manner?” Sebastian asks quietly.

 

Ciel narrows his eyes at the question. It’s out of the blue and uncoordinated. Just what on earth could Sebastian mean by  _ in what manner _ ?

 

Claude seems to understand Sebastian’s question, however, and he sits up a bit straighter only to slouch back down. “It was playful.” His eyes don’t meet Sebastian’s.

 

Sebastian nods but then says, “ _ Was _ ?”

 

Claude looks up to Sebastian with a challenging expression. “It’s changed.”

 

“Into what, exactly?” Sebastian drawls, and Ciel isn’t expecting this in Sebastian’s expression. It isn’t anger. Or fury. It’s excitement. The looks in Sebastian’s eyes is cold, unbelievably so, but it hold this malice and eagerness that Ciel should be terrified of. 

 

“Emotional,” Claude whispers, gritting his teeth. 

 

“Say it louder, Claude,” Sebastian demands with an oddly playful voice. “Say it for everyone to hear.”

 

Ciel’s enchanted by this ice in Sebastian. 

 

Claude says nothing, and Sebastian laughs.

 

“You can’t even admit your sins,” Sebastian chuckles. “Come on, tell everyone why you fucked the Trancy boy.”

 

Ciel looks surprisingly at Sebastian’s blunt words. 

 

“I didn’t fuck him!” Claude snaps.

 

“Oh really? Then what exactly did you do? What have you been doing with him if you haven’t been fucking like catholic rabbits?” Sebastian sneers at the couple. 

 

“I just told you it was emotional,” Claude sighs, throwing himself back onto the bed in a nonchalant way. The fear that was originally in his eyes has disappeared and boredom now replaces it.

 

_ How has he gone from angry and defensive to careless and… bored?  _ Ciel wonders.

 

“Forgive me, then,” Sebastian says. “Tell everyone why you  _ made love  _ to Trancy.”

 

Alois turns his head away at the words and Claude raises his head and to sneer at Sebastian. “Don’t you dare act like some saint, Michaelis.”

 

“Answer the question,  _ Faustus _ .”

 

Claude sighs and lays back down. “I desire Alois.”

 

_ He admitted it?!  _ Ciel thinks, hoping his shock doesn’t show on his face.  _ He’s admitting to liking Alois like that? I mean, yes, they are in a very obvious situation right now, but to answer Sebastian’s question so honestly is… surprising. You’d expect Claude to be more devious and spider-like. _

 

“We got that,” Sebastian drawls, but his voice is tighter now. 

 

_ That’s the expected reaction from Sebastian. _

 

“I want someone who actually needs me,” Claude says, and there’s a twinkle of cruel humor in his eyes. “You don’t need me, Sebastian. You never have.”

 

“Doesn’t give you the right to fuck someone behind my back,” Sebastian spits, anger finally growing into his tone.

 

_ There it is, _ Ciel thinks.  _ There’s that anger that not even Sebastian can hide. The jealousy. _

 

“You’re not innocent, either,” Claude drawls. “You were playing with Phantomhive far more than I’ve ever done with Alois.”

 

_ Playing with Phantomhive? Is he referring to the strip club? _

 

“It was a part of my  _ job,  _ Claude,” Sebastian reminds him. “I was  _ payed _ to do so.”

 

_ Okay yeah, the strip club. _

 

“Like the whore you are,” Claude mutters.

 

Ciel almost doesn’t see Sebastian move as he lunges forward and grabs Claude’s collar roughly, pulling him up to level with Sebastian’s face. Alois shouts in protest as he’s thrown aside, but Sebastian ignores him.

 

“I am no whore, Claude,” Sebastian says at a deadly octave. “You know very well that I value loyalty the most.”

 

“It’s one of the few morals you actually have,” Claude says, sneering up at Sebastian.

 

Sebastian sneers back cruelly at Claude. “At least I have morals.”

 

Claude raises a brow at this. “As much morals as a psychopath can have.”

 

“I didn’t fuck a crazy person behind my boyfriend’s back,” Sebastian hisses, dragging Claude up closer to his face. “I met Ciel at the club and spent a few nights with him. Nothing more. As soon as I discovered he was my boss, all of those nights stopped and everything became strictly professional. There was no secret relationship, nothing.” 

 

“But you still like him,” Claude points out, and he drags the words out as if he’s tempting Sebastian.

 

_ Fool. Sebastian doesn’t like me. Not like that. He’s always been yours. Yours,  _ Ciel thinks bitterly.  _ Sebastian has never been mine.  _

 

“But I didn’t do anything,” Sebastian drags Claude up a little higher and bares his teeth at him. “I remained loyal to you.”

 

Ciel eyes Sebastian carefully. ‘ _ But I didn’t do anything?’ Why isn’t he denying what Claude is accusing him of? He doesn’t care for me.  _

 

Claude sighs a bit. “Your mistake.”

 

The slap that Sebastian gives Claude rings loudly in the room, and Ciel and Alois stare at the men in shock. 

 

“So I see,” Sebastian whispers before harshly throwing Claude back on to the bed. “Get out of here. Take Alois with you. I’ll collect my things from the apartment in the morning.”

 

And with that, Sebastian turns away. 

 

Ciel stares at Sebastian and tries to find the words - but what words are there to say? He can offer no comfort to Sebastian, and this is none of his business anyways. It’s already strange enough that Sebastian made Ciel stay and watch his fight with Claude, and Ciel won’t intrude any more. 

 

Sebastian pauses at the door, and looks back to Ciel. “Aren’t you coming?”

 

It takes Ciel a few moments to process the words.  _ Oh, that’s right. The fight is over now, so I have to leave now. Retire to bed and sleep. _ Ciel nods quickly and briskly follows Sebastian out, leaving the confused couple in the bed. Sebastian’s pace is relentless, and he’s surprisingly leading the pair to Ciel’s room. 

 

_ What on earth is he doing?  _

 

They arrive at Ciel’s room, and Sebastian takes in a deep breath as he stops before the door. 

 

“Sebastian?” Ciel asks softly. “Are you alright?”

 

Ciel immediately mentally slaps himself.  _ That is not the type of question to ask someone who just caught their lover with another man! It’s too cliche and utterly pointless!  _ But Ciel can’t take back the question - that would be far too awkward - so Ciel just stands there, waiting for a reply.

 

“In what manner?” Sebastian asks, echoing the same question he asked Claude.

 

_ In what manner is he alright?  _ Ciel swallows, praying that answering this question incorrectly will not make Sebastian explode in his face. “Emotionally.” 

 

Sebastian laughs bitterly. “Right now I’m pissed as fuck, but I think I’ll get over it quickly.”

 

“How?” Ciel asks before he can stop himself. “How can you get over a relationship that lasted for over a decade?”

 

Sebastian smiles sadly at Ciel. “I knew it was failing, I've known ever since…” Sebastian laughs airily and halfheartedly. “It doesn’t matter. Not right now. I just knew that Claude and I were bound to fall apart, and I’m just glad that someone is there to catch him as he falls. Alois might be good for him.”

 

“You‘re glad?” Ciel asks.  _ Aren’t people supposed to furious and hate their ex lovers? Especially right after the breakup? _

 

“Believe or not, Ciel, I don’t hate Claude,” Sebastian says, leaning onto the doorway to Ciel’s room. “I’ve known him for most of my life, and I wish no evil upon him.”

 

Ciel is somehow comforted by the words.  _ So Sebastian isn’t a psychopath. Maybe.  _

 

“But we’re too alike,” Sebastian continues. “We were two psychopaths who happens to collide with each other. It was all circumstantial.” Sebastian smiles at some distant memory. “We were just… there for each other.”

 

Ciel simply nods. The words aren’t coming to Ciel’s mind, but while they most definitely aren’t going to come anytime soon, the questions do. One question, specifically, and Ciel is worried that the answer to it will define the rest of his relationship with Sebastian. Define his future nightmares.

 

“Did Claude lie in that room?” Ciel asks quietly, looking down at the floor. “Was everything he said true?”

 

Sebastian looks at Ciel carefully, as if he’s trying to pick apart the thoughts that float to the front of Ciel’s mind. “Yes.”

 

The single word is damning enough for Ciel. “In what manner… In what manner do you… do you like me?” He stutters the words out, and he instantly regrets them.

 

_ And you’ve done it again, Ciel. You asked the stupid question you should not be asking right now. Not when you’re this tired.  _

 

“In every manner.”

 

Ciel looks up at Sebastian, a childish expression filling his face. An expression of innocent confusion and slight hope. 

 

_ In every manner? He likes me… in every manner? _

 

Sebastian walks up to Ciel and cradles the side of his head, and the touch fills Ciel’s head with a million memories and dreams. “But I am going to do this the right way,” Sebastian whispers. “I won’t lose you.”

 

Ciel can only stare up at Sebastian with wide eyes.

 

_ How can you lose me? I’ve… I’ve been yours for so long, as much as I hate to admit it. My soul has belonged to you, because I went willingly to your demon den and signed a contract that I thought benefitted me. _

 

“Goodnight, Ciel,” Sebastian whispers before placing a single, chaste kiss on the top of Ciel’s head. “Sweet dreams.”

 

Sebastian then turns away and walks down the hall, away from Ciel. Ciel stands there for a few moments, reliving the small kiss. He walks numbly into his room, and he flops down onto the bed with the touch of Sebastian’s lips burning into his skin and mind. 

 

_ I am going to do this the right way…  _ Just what on earth could Sebastian mean by that? What is ‘this?’ Has Ciel become something different in Sebastian’s mind? Has he changed because of what he witnessed today? Has Sebastian acknowledged and accepted that Ciel is his… no, could be his? Is Sebastian going to court him now? Ciel shudders at the thought, but it is a small shudder of suppressed desire. 

 

_ Can Sebastian possibly be mine?  _

 

Ciel scoffs and believes that that could never happen. 

 

So instead he dreams, and he does indeed dream sweet things that night… 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos and comments and tell me what you think!


	10. One Hell of a Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehehehehe actual plot - not matter how horrible this is. I apologize about this chapter, it’s definitely not the best. I PROMISE THE NEXT ONE IS BETTER.

Ciel wakes up to a gentle knock on his door.

 

“Go away, Sebastian! I have nothing in the morning and I want to sleep!” Ciel shouts at the door, and he buries himself under the covers.  _ Stupid Sebastian waking me up in ass o’clock in the morning.  _

 

The door opens and Ciel chooses to ignore it.

 

“Go away, Sebastian,” Ciel mutters. “I want my sleep.”

 

A sigh is heard and Ciel scoffs from under the blankets.  _ How dare he have the audacity to  _ **_sigh_ ** _ at me when I have every right to sleep in!  _ “Don’t you dare sigh at me, Sebastian.”

 

“Young master, I hate to disappoint your obvious wrath, but I am not Sebastian.”

 

Ciel throws himself out of the covers and stares at the man standing at the end of his bed. Tanaka has finally returned, and he looks tired but willing. 

 

“Tanaka?” Ciel exclaims.  _ Yes, good job Ciel. Identify the familiar man standing at the edge of your bed as if he hasn’t done this for the entirety of your life.  _

 

“It is I, my lord,” Tanaka says kindly, bowing slightly.

 

“Where’s Sebastian?” The question slips from Ciel’s lips, and he wonders if he should regret asking it. No, he shouldn’t. It’s a legitimate question to wonder where the hell is  _ his _ butler.

 

“He’s attending to some personal business this morning, I’m afraid. But I was informed that he will return by noon,” Tanaka says calmly, but Ciel just scoffs as he gets out of bed and stands up, stretching his growing and lean body. 

 

“What personal business? I wasn't aware of anything that needed to be attended to,” Ciel says, not really directing the question at Tanaka, but merely asking it to himself. Has Ciel forgotten something?

 

“He said it was concerning his apartment, and he’s requested that he stay in the manor until he can find somewhere else to stay,” Tanaka says nonchalantly as he begins dressing Ciel.

 

“His apartment?” Ciel furrows his eyebrows. “Did he get kicked out?”

 

“No, not exactly,” Tanaka says.

 

This just makes Ciel even more confused. “Then why is he moving to the manor for a while?”

 

Tanaka sighs - again - and looks at Ciel as if he’s missed something  _ very  _ obvious. “Mr. Michaelis has just ended his relationship with Mr. Faustus, so he’s moving out and letting Mr. Faustus stay in the apartment with Mr. Trancy - as Sebastian would prefer to see Claude less often around the mansion.”

 

_ Oh.  _

 

_ O h. _

 

**_O h._ **

 

Ciel widens his eyes at Tanaka as the memories suddenly flood his mind. 

 

Walking into Alois’ room to see Alois, Claude, and Sebastian in a very awkward situation. Witnessing Sebastian and Claude break up. Walking away to his bedroom. Sebastian saying he likes Ciel. Sebastian kissing Ciel’s head.

 

_ But I am going to do this the right way _ , Sebastian had whispered.  _ I won’t lose you. _

 

_ I won’t lose you. _

 

Heat floods Ciel’s face and he frowns stubbornly. What does this mean for Sebastian and him? They had something at the strip club, but that something died when Claude came along. Is it now being revived? And what about what Claude said last night? That… that Sebastian liked Ciel and that’s part of the reason why he didn’t feel guilty for pursuing Alois? Didn’t he say something about Sebastian… fucking Ciel behind Claude’s back?

 

Ciel shudders a bit at the lewd images that come to mind. Honestly, he needs to be in better control of himself. 

 

“Has Alois left, then?” Ciel asks softly, trying to lead the subject in a different direction so he can calm his raging blush down.

 

“Yes, he left last night with Mr. Faustus,” Tanaka says. “Sebastian made it sound like quite the scandal, did you hear about it?”

 

Ciel nods numbly, still unsuccessfully calming his blush. “I was there.”

 

“You were there?” Tanaka’s hands freeze momentarily and he looks at Ciel with a surprised expression.

 

“Yes,” Ciel admits quietly. “For a part of it, at least. I walked in a little while after Sebastian found them.”

 

Tanaka raises his brows and gets back to dressing Ciel. “That must have been quite an experience.”

 

Ciel laughs shortly. “It was. It really was something.”

 

The looks of Sebastian’s rage comes to mind, and Ciel shudders from it. He hopes he never has to be on the receiving end of Sebastian’s wrath, he’d rather much stand back and admire the chaos Sebastian creates for other people from a distance. 

 

“I can dress myself now, Tanaka. I’ll be down shortly,” Ciel says, and Tanaka bows.

 

“Yes, my lord.”

 

Tanaka leaves and Ciel finishes dressing himself - successfully, mind you - and he stares at his reflection in the bathroom mirror as he washes his face. Sebastian broke up with Claude. Claude and Alois are together now. Sebastian is moving to the manor. 

 

And is Sebastian going to start… courting Ciel? 

 

Ciel blushes again and groans loudly. He’s been holding himself back from liking the man, but now that there’s the opportunity to have Sebastian… dear god it’s just too tempting. He could actually have Sebastian… 

 

_ No no no, don’t think about that.  _ Ciel shakes his head violently.  _ You are the Earl Phantomhive and you will be better than some stripper! If he thinks he can have you, then he will have to do a hell of a lot of work to get you! _

 

Ciel raises his head and stares his reflection down, but he cringes from the truth he knows inside of his soul:

 

Sebastian won’t have to do much to break Ciel’s resolve.

 

~~~

 

Sebastian knocks on the door to Claude’ apartment - once  _ his  _ apartment - and waits not so patiently at the door. While waiting, he turns his head to the window at the end of the hall, and he smiles numbly at the sun. Last night it had been so rainy and depressing, but now the sun was out and shining, and it’s as if the day is tempting him to be happy about his current situation. He shouldn’t be happy, though. He just broke up with his long time boyfriend by walking in on him and Alois about to have sex. He shudders unpleasantly at the memory. Alois is honestly a  _ horrible _ kisser, and Sebastian wonders how Claude stands it. Does he enjoy bad kissers? Is Sebastian a bad kisser? Sebastian freezes for a moment as he contemplates his kissing skills.

 

_ Surely my kissing abilities are near second to none… I can tie a cherry stem with my tongue, for god’s sake! I am Sebastian Dean Michaelis and I am a perfectly exceptional kisser! _

 

Sebastian's face scrunches up in worry, and he’s momentarily distracted. However, the door to the apartment soon swings open, and there stands Claude in his pajamas. 

 

“Hello, Claude,” Sebastian says pleasantly, a warm but fake smile on his face.

 

Claude narrows his eyes at Sebastian.

 

“I’m here to collect my things,” Sebastian reminds, and he raises a brow at Claude’s obvious after sex state. Just how much of the night did he spend fucking his new boy toy?

 

Claude nods and steps aside to let Sebastian in.

 

“Thank you,” Sebastian sings sweetly, and he walks through the apartment to his - Claude and Alois’ room - without stopping and swings open the bedroom door. “Good morning, Alois. I hope you’re decent!”

 

A muffled shout is heard from under the blankets which is then followed by a very painful groan.

 

“Go away,” Alois’ small voice moans out.

 

Sebastian chuckles and walks into the room, beginning to put his things into the bags he brought with him. 

 

“Let me guess, Claude topped last night?” Sebastian says bluntly, and no response comes from the bed for a while.

 

After a few awkward moments, the voice does indeed respond. “Does it always hurt afterwards?” The voice says quietly, and Sebastian smiles. 

 

“When it’s intense and new,” Sebastian replies, feeling good natured towards the boy - at the moment. 

 

Alois groans a bit and Sebastian chuckles.

 

“Please don’t discuss my sex life,” Claude mutters from the doorway, and he bends down to help Sebastian grab his things.

 

“Your sex life used to be my sex life, Claude. I’m not exactly uncomfortable with it,” Sebastian reminds him, and Claude stares at him disappointedly. 

 

“You’re a nightmare.”

 

“Dressed like a daydream!” Sebastian sings, and he throws Claude a toothy grin.

 

They pack Sebastian’s things for about an hour - which is quite a small period of time, actually - and within that hour, Alois hobbles out of bed, and Sebastian cannot hold back the laughs at Alois’ obvious discomfort in his lower end. 

 

“Were you that rough?” Sebastian asks Claude, and the only reply he gets from his ex-boyfriend is a very blank stare.

 

“Fine,” Sebastian mutters, turning away to pack his clothes. “Suit yourself.”

 

He leaves once he’s done, and he gives Alois a wink before leaving - much to Claude’s annoyance.

 

“You’re a devil, I swear,” Claude mutters as Sebastian closes the door behind him.

 

Sebastian stuffs all of his things into the car, but he doesn't drive back to the manor just yet. He takes a detour to the Undertaker’s shop, and he parks at the side of the pavement.

 

“Undertaker?” Sebastian asks as he opens the door to the dusty shop. “You in here?”

 

“Phantomhive butler!” Undertaker’s voice sings out. “You’ve arrived!”

 

“Do you have what I asked for?” Sebastian asks, walking further into the shop.

 

“Why, it’s only been a day or two.” Undertaker walks out from behind the dusty stacks of god knows what, and he shoots Sebastian his signature grin. “What makes you think I already have the information?”

 

“I gave quite a large payment, Undertaker,” Sebastian reminds him. “I thought you were the best at acquiring information.”

 

“And I am,” Undertaker says coldly, walking to his desk and rummaging through the drawers. “Do not underestimate me,” he murmurs lowly. 

 

Sebastian shakes his head. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

 

Undertaker grins again and walks over to Sebastian, a small black device in his hand. “I have indeed acquired the information, and it’s all on here.”

 

Sebastian studies the small gadget the Undertaker hands him. “A recorder?”

 

Undertaker nods. “It has multiple clips from Reaper comms, so I think you will be able to find a trail to follow in there.”

 

It’s Sebastian’s turn to grin. “Excellent.”

 

“Now take your gift to your Earl and leave me,” Undertaker says. “It’s Monday, the Reapers might attack, especially since it’s been so long since the last one.” The Undertaker grins wickedly. “You wouldn’t want your precious Earl to be caught off guard.”

 

Sebastian nods. “Of course. Thank you, and good day.”

 

Sebastian drives home in a happy frenzy, and he’s tempted to play the recording before showing it to Ciel, but he decides against it. He wants them to find out everything at the same time. He trusts that the Undertaker has actually given him something good besides random useless snippets of information. Hopefully. 

 

~~~

 

The day is hella awkward for Ciel, and hopefully everybody else. 

 

Sebastian arrives at the manor at 12:46, and Ciel has to do his best to try to act normal with Sebastian. He reminds himself that he is  _ not _ some silly schoolgirl in primary school, so he can and will control himself. However, his resolve is heavily threatened when Sebastian returns to the manor.

 

“Ciel!” Sebastian greets him with a wicked smile, and there’s little flakes of sunlight reflecting beautifully in his eyes. 

 

“Good day, Sebastian,” Ciel says in what he hopes to be a nonchalant tone.

 

“I have good news,” Sebastian says, walking up to Ciel and smiling at him with something sweeter now. 

 

Ciel raises a brow at Sebastian. “And?”

 

“And, it has to do with our lovely friends, the Reapers,” Sebastian says, pulling out a small device from his pocket. 

 

“What is that?” Ciel eyes the thing carefully.

 

Sebastian’s eyes twinkle again. “A gift from the Undertaker.”

 

Ciel looks at him surprisingly. “The Undertaker?”

 

Sebastian nods. “I managed to convince him to get this little beauty for me.”

 

“How much do you owe him?” Ciel asks, beginning to move to the dining room: where they usually discuss business.

 

“Nothing,” Sebastian says happily. “I payed him quite a lot in advance, but I believe it’ll be worth it.”

 

Ciel eyes Sebastian incredulously. “How on earth did you pay him?”

 

“With stories,” Sebastian says cheerfully. 

 

“Stories?” Ciel says unbelievably. He narrows his eyes carefully at Sebastian. “Sure.”

 

“It’s true,” Sebastian says. “It was quite a long and personal story, but the Undertaker accepted it as payment.”

 

Ciel nods. “Interesting, but if it got you the information, I don’t really care.” Ciel tries to turn back on the image of perfect nonchalance, but he honestly wonders about Sebastian’s payments. He payed Undertaker with stories? What type of stories would Undertaker possibly be interested in? The way Sebastian tells it, they weren’t funny stories or the like, but instead something more… simple. Could Ciel start paying Undertaker with his own stories then? Ciel thinks not, his stories are far too dark and the Undertaker probably already knows most of them. Ciel’s life isn’t one people take an interest in.

 

Sebastian nods. “However, before we analyze the recording, I think we need Claude, Alois, and Madam Red present for this. Undertaker made it sound like a big deal.”

 

“Even Madam Red?” Ciel asks. “You really think the Undertaker went out and got something that big? That quickly?”

 

“It’s recordings,” Sebastian says, waving the device around. “Of Reaper conversations.”

 

Ciel has to smile at that. The Undertaker might have finally brought him something good. 

 

Madam Red, Alois, and Claude arrive at the mansion within the next hour, and Sebastian sits them down at the dining room table. Sebastian has turned into a psychopathic butler, but Ciel thinks that the more politically correct term is  _ demon _ . He smiles sweetly at Claude and Alois, but they all know that the smile is pure evil. He also goes butler, which Ciel finds a bit strange. He cleans everything and serves tea - heavenly tea - in the perfect manner, and Ciel is slightly concerned by how perfect of a butler Sebastian has become. He’s become slightly -  _ slightly  _ \- better at Tanaka at some of the things, and Ciel wonders how he’s done it. Tanaka is the definition of a perfect butler, and yet Sebastian seems to be doing such a better job at it, even when he’s furious. No,  _ especially  _ when he’s furious.

 

But then again, angry and psychopathic Sebastian is also a very clever Sebastian. Rage is a lovely form of motivation.

 

“Why do they call him the Spear?” Sebastian asks as they sit around the table with notes out and documents strewn across the table. “Is it a reference to the weapon? A symbol?”

 

“A spear symbolizes directness and strength,” Ciel says. “And it’s also a symbol of one’s manhood.”

 

Alois stifles a laugh at that, and Claude and Madam Red stare at him pointedly.

 

“So, can we assume that the Spear is male?” Sebastian asks, and Ciel groans internally. He isn’t getting to the point, and to make things worse, Sebastian sounds so much like a teacher right now, and it’s killing Ciel slowly. He hates teachers; they make him feel like a child. 

 

“Or a woman who wants to be treated like a man,” Madam Red says.

 

“Then again, the Reapers have extremely traditional views,” Claude points out. “A woman leading them? That’s unlikely.”

 

“So we can safely assume that the Spear is a man,” Sebastian says.

 

Ciel sees Madam Red pout a bit at the comment, and he has to find some small pleasure in that. 

 

“Why are we determining gender like this?” Alois asks. “I thought you guys would be looking through crime evidence and stuff to find the Spear.”

 

“They only refer to the Spear when they’re taking orders,” Ciel says boredly. “And we’ve been digging through evidence, and none of it matches up or makes sense. The Spear could just be a symbol and nothing more.”

 

Madam Red nods in agreement.

 

“But then again,” Sebastian says, waving about some teacher’s pointer he founds in god knows where. “They refer to the Spear when they take orders. And not in the manner of ‘for the Spear’ or such. They say things similar to ‘yes, Spear’ or ‘Spear said’ and so forth.”

 

“And that’s the only time they talk about the Spear?” Claude asks.

 

“No, actually,” Sebastian says, grinning wickedly now. “They also refer to him in their everyday conversations.”

 

Everyone narrows their eyes at Sebastian. 

 

“What do you mean, everyday conversations?” Red asks carefully.

 

Sebastian’s grin widens and he tosses the small recorder onto the table. “Hit play.”

 

Ciel, eyeing Sebastian, grabs the recorder and hits the play button.  _ Finally, he gets to the good stuff. _

 

_ “Spear says not to cause too much damage,”  _ A man’s voice says from the recorder, and the voice is a bit scratchy but clear.

 

_ “What exactly is ‘too much damage?’”  _ Another voice replies, sounding a bit bored.

 

_ “No more than three casualties, ten life threatening injuries, thirty permanent injuries, and seven cases of fixable injuries.”  _ The man sounds like he’s listing off a grocery list.

 

A voice laughs.  _ “That’s more like him.” _

 

The entire room freezes and stares at the recorder.

 

“How the fuck did you-” Claude begins, but Alois shushes him quickly.

 

The recorder continues after a small click:

 

_ “Spears!”  _ A frantic woman’s voice calls.

 

_ “He’s not responding!” _

 

_ “Well get the comms back online!!!” _

 

_ “I’m trying, I’m trying!” _

 

An explosion is heard.

 

_ “Dammit! Spears!” _

 

Ciel pauses the recorder and looks to Sebastian carefully.

 

“How long have you had this?” He asks slowly.

 

Sebastian’s eyes twinkle. “Three hours.”

 

Ciel isn’t expecting that answer, and nods in appreciation. So he came straight to them when the Undertaker gave him this information. “So, so far we know that Spear is indeed a person and it’s a man,” Ciel says.

 

“And there’s bound to be more,” Sebastian says, his grin reaching his eyes. “Hit play again.”

 

Ciel does so and they all lean in to listen more.

 

_ “Is he coming back online?”  _ A tentative voice asks when the explosions and screams have stopped.

 

_ “I’m not sure… it’s still radio silent!”  _ Panic fills the other voice.

 

Another explosion.

 

_ “Fuck! Call Jack! We need him!” _

 

_ “Jack isn’t here, asshat! Spears took him with him and you know he doesn't come to the front lines!” _

 

_ “So we’re under the Guard Dog’s attack  _ alone _?!?!?!” _

 

_ “Looks like it buddy.” _

 

There’s screaming next filled with various cuss words which aren’t all in English. 

 

_ “My eyes!” _

 

_ “Dammit!” _

 

_ “Retreat! Retreat!” _

 

The recorder clicks again, cutting off the screams.

 

_ “The Guard Dog’s arrived,”  _ a low voice murmurs, and it sounds like damnation.

 

_ “Fuck. Take them out. Quickly.”  _ This voice sounds more distant.

 

_ “Yes sir.” _

 

There’s some muffled sounds that are awfully like throats being slit, and Alois widens his eyes and grabs Claude’s hand quickly. The fear doesn’t leave his eyes when Claude squeezes his hands, though.

 

_ “It’s a fucking mess.” _

 

_ “Just do your job, Blue.” _

 

_ “I get why we’re doing this, but I still don’t understand how people like Jack can like this.” _

 

_ “Jack’s a psychopath. We already established this.” _

 

_ “He’s also second in command, so stop talking shit about him,”  _ a third voice says, sounding thick with an American accent.

 

_ “Ma’am, yes, ma’am.” _

 

Click.

 

_ “Twenty of ours have been captured.” _

 

Some muffled talking.

 

_ “Spears’ not going to like this.” _

 

_ “The Guard Dog had his two lackies. Again.” _

 

_ “The Battle Angels, right?” _

 

_ “That’s what Jack calls them, anyways.” _

 

_ “They’re pretty damn ruthless to be called angels.” _

 

_ “Jack didn’t like calling them devils, and you know he names everything.” _

 

_ “Jack hasn’t even joined us in a fight.” _

 

_ “He works with Spears. You know this.” _

 

_ “He’s fucking elusive, Spears. What’s wrong with meeting the number two?” _

 

_ “Identity is a big thing for the Reapers, Blue.” _

 

Click.

 

_ “The patients are lined up, Spear.” _

 

A pause.

 

_ “He says to begin.” _

 

_ “Got it.” _

 

There’s some muffled sounds like a cloth being drawn over the mic and it then continues.

 

_ “My name is Ronald Knox. I am a member of the organization known as the Grim Reapers. I am not here to kill you. The Reapers believe in the balance of life, and the world is helping you in the wrong ways. We are here to heal you the proper way in which Mother Nature intended us to do.”  _ The words are quieter than the rest, as if the mic is further away.

 

_ “Load,”  _ another voice murmurs.

 

_ “Aim.” _

 

A pause.

 

_ “Your memories will be restored. You will suffer no more,”  _ the more distant voice continues, and it kind of sounds like a preacher speaking. 

 

_ “Fire.” _

 

Silence. 

 

Then gunshots followed by screaming.

 

_ “How did they find us?!”  _

 

_ “They must have been tipped!” _

 

_ “Dammit!” _

 

_ “Yellow! We gotta go!” _

 

_ “I know that, you shits!” _

 

More gunshots and then heavy panting.

 

_ “Guard Dog better like our little gift,”  _ a voice says angrily, and he sounds much more clear now.

 

_ “He’s probably going to hate us for it,”  _ voice number two sighs, and Ciel can imagine him facepalming. 

 

_ “But he might actually try a peaceful approach, now. We’re not murderers.”  _ Voice one sounds optimistic. 

 

_ “In his eyes, we kinda are.” _

 

_ “But now his eyes might be opened. Spears wants him to, for the deal.” _

 

Voice two scoffs. _ “Well Spears placed a heavy bet on the Guard Dog. He’s ruthless.” _

 

_ “I thought he died a while back, though?” _

 

_ “That was the previous one. A new one’s rose to power, and he’s much more cunning. The last one was just fucking brutal. Did you hear what happened to Grimm?” _

 

_ “Spears’ tutor?” _

 

_ “Yeah. The fucking legendary Reaper. The old Guard Dog found him and rumor is that he tortured him till he died.” _

 

_ “Damn. Is that why we were quiet until Spears took control?” _

 

_ “Yeah.” _

 

Click. 

 

_ “Now I hoped you liked that, Mr. Michaelis!”  _ It’s a new voice now, and Ciel realizes that it’s the Undertaker’s voice.  _ “It took me forever to get these few clips, although I think it’s quite worth it considering your payment.”  _ He chuckles.  _ “I’m still laughing to myself, and it’s been twenty eight hours. He he he, good job, Michaelis. I’m glad for you. I’ve needed a good laugh… How sad it would be, should laughter disappear? Well, I’m gonna go now, you’re probably done hearing this crazy man’s old voice, anyways. Toodledoo!”  _

 

Click.

 

All eyes turn to Sebastian. 

 

Ciel is the first to speak. “Well done, Sebastian.” A grin stretches across both of their faces.

 

“It took me so much to pay the Undertaker enough,” Sebastian says. “In the end I had to throw in a couple threats to get this.”

 

“The Undertaker actually took to the threats?” Ciel asks, surprised.

 

Sebastian smiles a bit. “I have my ways.”

 

Ciel scoffs. “We have a fucking lead.”

 

Sebastian nods in agreement, delight painted in his eyes. “We do.”

 

Madam Red eyes the two of them. “What’s the lead?”

 

“Leads,” Claude murmurs. 

 

“Names,” Ciel says plainly. “The Spear isn’t a symbol, it’s a fucking code name. And it’s not even Spear, it’s Spear _ s _ . With an ‘s.’ And we know the name or code name of his second in command. And we know the name of a legendary Reaper.”

 

“And we know that everyone else has colors has code names,” Sebastian adds.

 

“And we also have a name,” Ciel says, jumping up from his chair. “Ronald Knox. Ronald Knox is one of our Reapers.”

 

“He’s the one who came to the hospital,” Alois says softly. “That was his speech.”

 

Sebastian grins even wider. “Let’s find Ronald Knox, shall we?”

 

Ciel laughs, throwing his head back. “We shall!”

 

The pair leave the room in glee, leaving Madam Red, Claude and Alois is mild confusion. 

 

“Ciel looks like he just won the lottery,” Alois notes. 

 

“Because he basically did,” Madam Red says. “The Reapers have been giving him hell for so long, but know he’s got something on them. Hell, he has a name.”

 

“Ronald Knox,” Claude murmurs. “Why on earth would a Reaper openly say their name?”

 

“Pride,” Red mutters. “Pride and the fact that they thought they were safe. There were only amnesiatic patients around, and I’m pretty sure that they had severed all cameras and recorders.”

 

“So how did Sebastian get this?” Alois asks. 

 

Madam Red sighs. “The Undertaker.”

 

Claude and Alois looks at Madam Red, confused. “Who?”

 

“The Phantomhive family’s main informant. He knows everything about most people, and he can usually get his hands on any information. He’s excellent at his job,” Madam Red explains.

 

“Is he a hacker of some sort?” Claude asks, beginning to put away all of the documents strewn across the table.

 

Red shakes her head. “I don’t believe so. I think he just has connections with everyone, and that the Phantomhives are slightly more important to him than everyone else. I know Vincent was very close with him.”

 

“Ciel’s father, correct?” Claude asks. “The previous Guard Dog?”

 

Madam Red nods. 

 

“The recordings mentioned Ciel’s father killing a Reaper,” Alois says quietly. “I thought the Reapers were something new?”

 

Claude narrows his eyes. “So did I.” He turns to Madam Red with a questioning expression.

 

“I know that Ciel’s parents are suspected to have been killed by  _ a  _ Reaper,” Madam Red says slowly. “But I don’t know anything more than that. You’ll have to ask Ciel about that.”

 

Alois nods. “I’ll talk to him.”

 

Claude raises a brow at Alois. “Why you?”

 

“Because he hates you, obviously,” Alois huffs out and Claude gives him one of the most offended expressions. “I’m just telling the truth!”

 

Madam Red sighs while rolling her eyes. “Ciel does not hate Claude.”

 

Alois shrugs. “Sure. He doesn’t. He doesn’t hate the guy who uses to date Sebastian.”

 

Claude sighs and stares at Alois pointedly. 

 

“Oi!” Ciel’s voice sounds from the other side of the door. “We’re going out to talk to Undertaker and some other witnesses! Don’t break anything while we’re gone!”

 

Madam Red chuckles. “We’ll be fine, Ciel!” She shouts back.

 

“Good!” Ciel yells, and then silence fills the room. 

 

Madam Red smiles knowingly and pulls out her phone. “Ciel finally has a lead.”

 

~~~

 

Sebastian and Ciel drive to the Reaper prison as quickly as they can, and Ciel is bristling with excitement on the way. 

 

Finally, he has a lead. He has a name, first and last name, and he also has several code names. He can use them against his prisoners and get closer to Spear. No, Spears. All of the Reapers have their fingerprints removed and none of them have been able to be identified - oddly enough. There’s no records, and Ciel worries that they won’t find anything on this Ronald Knox of theirs. However, he has a good feeling about this. He knows he’s gotten something, and now he won’t let go until he finds that something. 

 

They run into the building and get in contact with Abberline, their MI6 associate, and tell him the name. 

 

“Roland Knox?” Abberline asks over the phone. 

 

“Yes,” Ciel says. “We’re not sure how it’s spelled, so just go through every spelling you can find.”

 

“Sir, yes, sir,” Abberline says. “Would you like me to search it up now?”

 

“As quickly as possibly, please,” Sebastian says sweetly. 

 

Ciel glares at him for talking for him, but he lets it slide. They do need the information as quickly as possible.

 

“Of course,” Abberline says. There’s the sound of a keyboard clicking away, and the mouse clicks as well every few moments. Ciel heads him mutter to himself as he goes through the pages, and he chuckles quietly at the image of Abberline humming to himself while looking through murder paperwork. Such a strangely positive man for someone in this line of work. 

 

Sebastian eyes Ciel carefully when he catches his chuckle, but Ciel just silently waves him away. Sebastian only raises a brow at this, and Ciel turns away in annoyance. 

 

“Don’t question me,” Ciel mutters to Sebastian. 

 

“Forgive me, my lord,” Sebastian whispers back, and he leans down against Ciel and places his lips right up against Ciel’s earlobe. “I was just curious.”

 

Ciel shivers violently at the air that brushes against his neck, and he tries pushing Sebastian away, but Sebastian doesn’t budge. 

 

“Are you not comfortable with this position?” Sebastian asks lowly, pressing up against Ciel even more now. “I thought it would be beneficial for the two of us, as I assume you do not want Abberline to hear us at the moment?”

 

Ciel huffs and looks Sebastian directly in the eye. “You don’t need to be so damn close!”

 

Sebastian chuckles softly and leans away. “Alright. If that’s what you want.”

 

_ It is what I want, _ Ciel thinks angrily. 

 

“Mr. Phantomhive!” Abberline’s voice sounds through the speakers, and Ciel sighs in relief. 

 

“Talk to me, Abberline,” he says.

 

“I’ve found a few results for a Ronald Knox, however when I’ve narrowed it down to three, concerning Reaper relations.”

 

“Which one of them has green eyes?” Sebastian asks.

 

“The first two.”

 

“Ignore the third one, then,” Ciel says. They know this Ronald has green eyes; Alois saw them himself. 

 

“Yes sir.”

 

“Abberline? Could you send the information to us through email, please?” Sebastian asks. “We’ll take a look at the information and tell you if we need anything else.”

 

“Of course!” Abberline says. The keyboard clicks some more and then stops. “I’ve got the documents copied onto a file and I’m sending it to you and Mr. Phantomhive as I speck.”

 

Sebastian nods, looking pleased. “Thank you, Abberline. That will be all.”

 

The phone hangs up.

 

Ciel looks at Sebastian incredulously. “How dare you!” He says.

 

Sebastian looks at Ciel as if he’s surprised by Ciel’s very much so justified rage. “Pardon?”

 

Ciel smacks Sebastian’s cheek. “You do  _ not _ speak for me unless I tell you to!” He shouts.

 

Sebastian freezes after the strike, and he looks at Ciel with a bit dazed expression. He opens and closes his mouth like a fish before respond slowly, “Of course, my lord. Forgive me.”

 

Ciel huffs. “Don’t do it again.”

 

Sebastian nods as he rubs his cheek. “Of course.”

 

Ciel sighs and turns away, walking to his office in the building. “Come on. Let’s get to my computer so we can view the documents.”

 

“Yes, my lord,” Sebastian says softly. 

 

They walk briskly to his office and by the time they get there and sign into the computer, the email is there waiting for Ciel in his inbox. Ciel grins and clicks open the documents.

 

“Is there pictures?” Sebastian asks quietly.

 

Ciel nods. “They’re right here.” He turns the computer screen to Sebastian and Sebastian leans down over Ciel’s body to look at the computer, and Ciel can feel the heat radiating between the two of them. 

 

“We need to show these to Alois,” Sebastian murmurs, his eyes trained on the computer screen.

 

“Obviously,” Ciel mutters, crossing his arms and leaning into his chair like a petulant child. 

 

Sebastian smiles sweetly at his reaction and continues looking at the email. “The recordings,” Sebastian begins. “They talked about Spears wanting to make a deal with you.”

 

Ciel nods slowly. 

 

“You didn’t mention anything about it so far,” Sebastian notes, but it sounds like a question.

 

“I didn’t need to,” Ciel says. “If he wants a deal with me, he’ll be coming to me. I just need to get as much information as I can before he finds me.”

 

Sebastian nods. “Then let’s get back to the manor.”

 

Ciel nods and stands up, but Sebastian doesn’t move away like he thought he would, so he ends up running straight into Sebastian’s firm chest. He stumbles over his own feet and somewhere along the way falls into Sebastian’s arms. He lands against Sebastian with a little ‘oof’ and the next thing his brain comprehends is the sudden warmth surrounding him.

 

“Careful, my lord,” Sebastian murmurs gleefully. “You could have hurt yourself if I wasn’t here to catch you.”

 

Ciel’s whole face lights up in a massive blush and he pushes furiously away from Sebastian, wrapping his arms around himself. “You were in my way,” Ciel mutters before walking past Sebastian out the door.

 

Sebastian chuckles. “Of course.”

 

~~~

 

“That one,” Alois says confidently, pointing at one of the candidates for Ronald Knox. “That’s the Reaper at the hospital.”

 

Ciel grins wickedly. “Sebastian, get Abberline to scrap up everything he can about this guy, and I want you to do the same.”

 

“Yes, my lord,” Sebastian says cheerfully, and he takes the documents from Ciel and rushes out of the room to get it done.

 

Alois looks to Ciel. “Are you gonna catch him?”

 

Ciel sighs. “Hopefully.” He chuckles bitterly. “Hopefully.”

 

“Ciel. Madam Red beckons him over to her side of the room with a single finger. 

 

Ciel rolls his eyes a bit and walks over to her. “Yes?”

 

She bites at her lip a bit before speaking. “This Spears…” 

 

“What about him?” Ciel asks. “Why do you look worried.”

 

She laughs bitterly and looks behind his shoulder and out the window. “He wants to make a deal with you. According to the recording.”

 

Ciel nods. “Didn’t it say that he want me for my eyes to be opened or some shit?”

 

Madam Red raises a judging brow at Ciel. “Language, Ciel.”

 

Ciel huffs. “You’re not my mother.”

 

Ciel knows he’s crossed the line with those words, though, because her face turns cold and she looks at him sternly. 

 

“No. I’m not. I’m not your mother. Your mother was burnt to death and my sister was murdered,” she states. 

 

Ciel cringes at her words. He hates when she gets emotional like this. 

 

“You and I both know why you are so keen on finding Spears,” Madam Red says. 

 

Ciel nods. “Obviously,” he mutters, trying and failing to be passive.

 

Red narrows her eyes at Ciel. “You think the Reapers killed them and took you.”

 

“Why are you telling me everything I already know?” Ciel asks, wanting to walk away.

 

“Because I’m afraid that it’s escaped your mind,” Red says. “You aren’t doing this for your pride, Ciel. You’re doing this because you’re human and you want revenge. But recently, this has become a game for you and I’m concerned that you will be treating the Reapers like a game.”

 

“I know they aren’t a game,” Ciel snaps.

 

Red grabs his chin and forces him to look at her. “Then act like it. You’ve been distracted by Michaelis and I’m worried that when the time comes, you’ll freeze.”

 

“I won’t freeze,” he says as best as he can with his face in her unrelenting grip. “They’ll get what’s coming for them.”

 

“And you also need to remember,” Red says. “Who you’re looking for. Spears may not be our guy. Your father caught a Reaper and it took more brutality than a normal human can handle to break that Reaper.”

 

“I know!” Ciel shouts, pushing Red way and escaping her clutches. “I know what I’m doing and why I’m doing it!” 

 

Claude and Alois turn their heads to Ciel, but he doesn’t care. 

 

“The Reapers are cold hearted murderers and I have not forgotten that!” He says loudly, glaring at Red. 

 

“Good,” Red says. “You better not forget what Grimm did to your father.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha I hope you enjoyed that! Please leave kudos and comments and tell me what you think about the fic/chapter!


	11. One Hell of a Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adrian Crevan and Vincent Phantomhive... And so I give you the story of the Grimm Reaper.

_“Adrian!”_

 

_“Careful, Vincent,” the grey haired man grins wickedly, and his green eyes flash in the sunlight. “You don’t want to break something.”_

 

_The dark haired man on the ground glares up at his best friend, to which he receives a cheeky grin in return._

 

_“I wouldn’t have fell if you had just helped me!” Vincent groans, gingerly standing up to face his friend._

 

_“Now where’s the fun in that?” Adrian asks. “You have to learn to fend for yourself. I won’t always be here to help you, you know.”_

 

_Vincent sighs and punches his friend in the shoulder lightly. “You’re seriously a horrible friend.”_

 

_Adrian grins. “But you still love me.”_

 

_Pink dusts Vincent’s pale cheeks. “Maybe.”_

 

_The pair walk from the fields and back to the manor - the manor owned by Vincent’s family - and they talk about nonsense as they enter through the gardens and into the tea room in the greenhouse. The two bicker about pointless things, but neither of them really care about how pointless all of their talk is. They live for the smiles and reactions the other can offer, and Adrian delights in the blush that comes to Vincent’s cheek when he comes just a bit closer to the man._

 

_They make their way upstairs, planning to go to Vincent’s personal balcony to enjoy the rare sunny day in England._

 

_“You really have a beautiful home,” Adrian murmurs to Vincent._

 

_Vincent smiles proudly. “The Phantomhives are a proud family, and the manor is no exception.”_

 

_Adrian chuckles. “You and your Phantomhive pride. It’s truly remarkable.”_

 

_Vincent faux gasps. “Do you mock my honor?”_

 

_Adrian grins at him. “Maybe I do.”_

 

_Vincent puffs his chest out and stares Adrian down with a single brow raised. “Thou hast offended me, thou villain!”_

 

_Vincent lunges at Adrian with a mock sword and Adrian falls backwards, clutching at his invisible wound._

 

_“Mercy! Mercy!” Adrian falls out, falling to the floor._

 

_“I know not the word!” Vincent declares. “A Phantomhive knows no mercy!”_

 

_Adrian falls to his ‘death’ but as Vincent’s stands over him, victorious, he grabs Vincent’s ankle and pulls him down with him. Vincent falls to the carpeted floor just inside the room and Adrian shouts in glee as he lunges on top of Vincent._

 

_“I caught you,” Adrian drawls, leaning down and breathing the same air as Vincent._

 

_Vincent looks up at Adrian with slightly dilated pupils. “So you did.”_

 

_They stay like that for a few moments, looking at each other with heavy eyes and fast heartbeats, and Vincent wonders what the man above him really is. This beauty… surely it cannot be human._

 

_“Vincent,” Adrian whispers, leaning down even further. “I need to tell you something.”_

 

_Vincent’s heart forgets how to beat for a moment and his mind runs through at least twelve scenarios, most of them ending in passionate sex._

 

_“I drank like three bottles of wine yesterday and now you always look really pink,” Adrian whispers and Vincent stares up at him in shock._

 

_“What on earth are you talking about?” Vincent whispers back with a confused but slightly amused expression._

 

_Adrian laughs and flops down onto Vincent’s chest._

 

_“Oof, my god, Adrian, you’re heavy as hell,” Vincent groans out._

 

_Adrian only laughs harder. “Sorry for being so muscular.”_

 

_Vincent rolls his eyes and lets Adrian lay on him, secretly reveling in the feeling of having Adrian’s body pressed up against his own. Adrian radiates so much warmth and his grey hair falls over his shoulder and next to their heads, and he can feel Adrian’s heartbeat pressing up against his own._

 

_A sharp knock on the door breaks the little heaven Adrian has created in his head, and the moment shatters as Adrian pushes himself off and onto his feet._

 

_“Master Vincent,” Tanaka opens the door slowly and bows as he enters the room. “Lady Rachel is here.”_

 

Rachel is here… _Vincent puts on his best excited face. “Excellent. I’ll be down in a moment!”_

 

_Tanaka bows again. “Of course. I’ll keep her company until you arrive.”_

 

_Tanaka leaves and Adrian watches the reluctance grow in Vincent’s eyes. “Vincent? You alright?”_

 

_“Of course!” Vincent chirps, but the smile on his lips doesn’t reach his eyes._

 

_Adrian scoffs. “Sure.”_

 

_Vincent eyes Adrian. “It’s Rachel. She’s amazing.”_

 

_Adrian shrugs and saunters over to Vincent. “She’s in love with you,” he points out._

 

_“And there’s nothing wrong with that!” Vincent says, pushing at Adrian’s shoulder. “I’m an amazing person.”_

 

_“But you don’t love her back,” Adrian whispers, and Vincent angrily turns his head away at the truth of the words._

 

_“It doesn’t matter,” he mumbles._

 

_“Sure,” Adrian says. “It doesn’t matter. You’re only going to break her if you keep this up.”_

 

_“Keep what up?” Vincent demands. “What exactly am I keeping up?”_

 

_“The charade of being interested in her!” Adrian says._

 

_The atmosphere in the room turn sour so quickly, and anger strikes Vincent’s heart as Adrian accuses him of the truth._

 

_Vincent grits his teeth. “She’s one of my closest friends. And I need to marry to produce heirs. I’d rather it be her than the other whores that throw themselves at me.” He sneers coldly._

 

_Adrian turns his head away with a bitter chuckle. “You’re lying to yourself like this.”_

 

_“It doesn’t matter,” Vincent mutters, brushing past Adrian and towards the ajar door. “I’m going to marry her one day, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”_

 

_The door closes behind Vincent and Adrian stares angrily at it._

 

_“You’re going to kill yourself like this,” Adrian murmurs to the ghost of Vincent’s presence in the room._

 

_~~~_

 

_There’s the party celebrating the first ten years of the Funtom company, and of course Rachel is invited as Vincent’s date. She comes in a beautiful blue dress, and Adrian sees Vincent’s jaw go slack at the sight of her. They both know that she looks angelic tonight, with that fluffy blue dress and a matching pair of eyes._

 

_“You look beautiful,” Vincent murmurs as he kisses her hand._

 

_She giggles behind her free hand like the little lady she is. “You’re awfully old fashioned, Vin.”_

 

_Vincent smiles angelically at her. “I speak only the truth.”_

 

_Rachel blushes and looks down. “Thank you. You look very handsome tonight.”_

 

_Adrian watches them from across the ballroom, and he smiles to himself. Vincent has put up the most angelic facade for his sweet Rachel, and no one doubts the honesty of his words towards the lady. They dance across the ballroom like the Earls and Ladies of the Victorian Era, and Vincent enchants everyone who looks at him. He knows how to manipulate the masses and he knows how to get people to like him, trapping them with his perfect smile and elegant movements._

 

_The Devil is the most beautiful of God’s creations, after all._

 

_Rachel moves to talk with some of her lady friends after a mountain of dances, and Vincent makes his way over to Adrian with a cheeky grin on his face._

 

_“Why do you look so smug?” Adrian asks when Vincent reaches him._

 

_Vincent quirks his eyebrows at Adrian and pulls something out of his pocket. “Rachel’s gonna be mine,” he says as he shows the object in his hand to Adrian. It’s a little black box, and Adrian can accurately guess what it contains._

 

_“You gonna pop the question tonight?” Adrian asks, suddenly cold and acting nonchalant._

 

_Vincent’s expression drops a bit as he eyes his best friend. “Just before the party ends,” he says quietly._

 

_Adrian nods and walks away. “Good for you.”_

 

_Vincent chases him to the balcony, and Adrian pulls out a single cigarette to smoke while leaning on the balcony edge._

 

_“You’re going to kill your lungs,” Vincent says_

 

_Adrian scoffs with a sad smile on his face. “You want one?”_

 

_“Why not?” Vincent takes the cigarette Adrian offers him, and they lean against the balcony edge and stare out into the night._

 

_“You should get back to Rachel,” Adrian says softly._

 

_Vincent scoffs. “She’s talking with Angelina.”_

 

_Silence fills the air again._

 

_“Why do you have to marry?” Adrian asks, throwing a glance at his best friend._

 

_Vincent laughs bitterly and hangs his head, breathing out smoke. “I need someone to leave my legacy to.”_

 

_“You and I both know that there isn’t much of a legacy,” Adrian mutters, taking a drag of his cigarette again._

 

_“I have a name to pass down,” Vincent says. “The Phantomhive name must go on.”_

 

_“Does it?” Adrian asks, acid leaking into his voice. “The Phantomhive name is a curse and you want someone else to suffer it?”_

 

_Vincent glares at Adrian. “I am the Queen’s Guard Dog and I need someone to replace me when I’m gone.”_

 

_“So this is about pride, then,” Adrian declares._

 

_Vincent clicks his tongue and puts out his cigarette. “Why do you even care, Adrian? You usually aren’t this serious._

 

_“I haven’t had my daily bottle of wine.” Adrian moves closer to Vincent and stares at him intensely. “And this is a serious matter; I know when to be serious and when not to be.”_

 

_“And my marital status is a matter of solemnity?” Vincent asks, turning incredulously to his friend. “I thought that this would be the one thing you’d tease me forever for.”_

 

_Adrian shakes his head. “You are going to break Rachel’s heart.”_

 

_“And why does that bother you so much?” Vincent asks. “You love breaking hearts and watching people burn.”_

 

_Adrian grits his teeth. “But this time you’re involved. You are putting yourself in this situation and risking your own self.”_

 

_“Bullshit,” Vincent drawls. “You don’t really believe that. Stop lying and tell me what’s going on.”_

 

_Adrian grabs Vincent’s chin and pulls him flush up against his own body. Vincent has to tilt his face up to meet Adrian’s eyes, and the lose strands of Adrian’s grey hair fall down against his cheeks, caressing it._

 

_“Why would I tell you outright?” Adrian whispers, leaning down to Vincent, breathing against his lips. “Why would I make it that easy for you?”_

 

_Vincent’s heart rate picks up and his pupils dilate as he keeps his eyes on Adrian’s._

 

_“Shall we play a game, then?” Vincent whispers back._

 

_Adrian smirks at his words. “Why not?”_

 

_Vincent smirks proudly and presses closer to the taller man. “How shall we play?”_

 

_Adrian leans down and whispers into Vincent’s ear, “Go propose to Rachel. Then come find me.” Adrian pulls away and watches Vincent expectantly._

 

_“Alright then,” Vincent says with a smile on his face. “If that’s the way you want to do it.” Vincent walks away with a last glance back at Adrian, but soon enough he disappears into the sea of people and Adrian faintly hears him call out for Rachel._

 

_~~~_

 

_Rachel says yes._

 

_Vincent honestly couldn’t care less, though, because at the moment the only thing on his mind is Adrian. Adrian… waiting somewhere for him. Waiting in the manor and waiting to play this game that has Vincent shivering in hot delight._

 

_Rachel has to leave shortly after Vincent proposes - thank god - and so he bids her goodnight with a chaste kiss and then runs off to the balcony again. He arrives to see Adrian gone, and his mind races as he wonders where he could be._

 

Where would Adrian hide?

 

_He does a sweep of the ballroom and restrooms, but no matter how many times grey hair or a laugh will catch his attention, none of them are Adrian._

 

Where would Adrian wait for me?

 

_Vincent groans at the answer that presents itself in his mind. Adrian would wait for him in his own damn bedroom._

 

_He runs there as calmly as he can, but every moment seems to drag on and on and Vincent can’t calm his heartbeat. Adrian’s games are always so different and Adrian is rarely ever serious. Why would he be so concerned about Vincent marrying Rachel? Does Adrian know something Vincent doesn’t?_

 

_He almost slams into his bedroom door, but he manages to open it calmly enough and his eyes scan the room for the tall figure clad in black with grey hair and green eyes. Vincent’s eyes find nothing._

 

_He stomps the ground a bit in frustration, and he turns back to the door to leave and search the gardens - the next possible place for Adrian to hide. He might be off somewhere wanking in the flowerbeds, finally becoming the little weirdo he is._

 

_But as he turns to the door, a single pale hand pushes it shut and suddenly he’s pressed up against it, his chest shoved painfully against the heavy wood._

 

_“Took you long enough,” Adrian rasps into Vincent’s ear._

 

_“Adrian?” Vincent exclaims, but his voice sounds a bit breathy and he sounds horny. Vincent internally screams in embassesment._

 

_“Hello, my Earl,” Adrian whispers, pressing his chest and hips against Vincent’s back._

 

_“Let go of me,” Vincent says, pushing back against Adrian, but he isn’t released._

 

_“I thought we agreed to play a game,” Adrian murmurs, pressing Vincent even harder against the wood._

 

_Vincent would complain about the slight pain in his back and wrists in this position, but his pride makes him silent._

 

_Adrian laughs softly st Vincent’s lack of response and loosens his grip on him. “So obedient.”_

 

_Vincent quickly twists out of his grasp and slams Adrian against the door. “I am not your pet,” Vincent says, his voice playful._

 

_Adrian looks down at his Earl with fondness. “No, you’re not.”_

 

_Vincent grins and releases Adrian, who drops his hands to his sides and watches Vincent expectantly._

 

_“You came,” Adrian drawls, grinning wickedly._

 

_Vincent scoffs. “Of course I came. And it didn’t take me that long to find you.”_

 

_Adrian shrugs and purses his lips. “Sure.” He sighs and leans back against the wood. “So, did she say yes?”_

 

_A part of Vincent wants to brag about his victory, but something holds him back. He doesn’t feel proud, not now. The both of them know that Vincent has carefully crafted a plan to ensnare Rachel, and they both know that Vincent never fails. Rachel has been his for longer than she even realizes_

 

_“What do you think?” Vincent says softly._

 

_Adrian cocks his head to one side, watching his Earl carefully. “You’ve damned her.”_

 

_Vincent looks shockingly at Adrian. “Pardon?”_

 

_Adrian leans away from the door and walks over to the balcony door. “You’ve damned her,” Adrian repeats with his back to Vincent._

 

_“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean,” Vincent says slowly, walking over to Adrian’s side. “I haven’t damned her-”_

 

_“Yes you have,” Adrian cackles. He turns to Vincent and smiles a sad smile. “Everything that a Phantomhive touches burns away to ashes under his hands. Nothing survive’s a Phantomhive’s touch.”_

 

_Vincent’s haze softens as he tries to figure out Adrian’s words. “You haven’t burnt away,” he says softly._

 

_Adrian laughs quietly. “I’m used to the fire, but don’t worry, I’ll burn away soon enough.”_

 

_Vincent furrows his brows. “I don’t want you to burn.”_

 

_“But I want the fire,” Adrian says. “I’ve known what you are ever since I’ve met you - and I still want you. I want your fire.”_

 

_Vincent looks to Adrian in slight awe. “Why?”_

 

_Adrian chuckles and moves closer to Vincent, looking over him with his green eyes leering down at him. “Because I want to burn with you.”_

 

_Understanding fills Vincent and he does his best not to smirk. “You don’t want anyone else to burn with me,” he begins slowly, “because you want to be the only one to do so.”_

 

_Adrian shakes his head and uses a single finger to raises Vincent’s chin up, meeting Adrian’s playful gaze. “I do want to be the only one to burn with you, but it’s not just that; I want to be the only one to know your fire. The others don’t deserve it.”_

 

_“And you do?” Vincent whispers, licking his bottom lip with barely just the tip of his tongue._

 

_Adrian’s eyes watch Vincent’s pink tongue flicker out ever so slightly, and he flicks his eyes back to Vincent’s when that tongue disappears back into its dark caverns. “Does it matter? No one really deserves anything but pain, so does it matter if I deserve to be the only one to have you?”_

 

_Vincent shrugs slightly. “Maybe not.”_

 

 _Adrian leans further down and their lips brush against each other. “But I assure you this: I want to be the_ only _one to know you and have you. Only I can have your fire. I want to be your master and your servant, and I want to be the beast that you control and use for your games against the Underworld. Let me be your Guard Dog.”_

 

_Vincent shudders at the feeling of Adrian’s slightly chapped lips touching his own. “No,” he whispers while moving his lips against Adrian’s, and he sees pain flare in Adrian’s eyes. “You will be my Grimm Reaper.”_

 

_Adrian tilts his head in confusion._

 

_Vincent smirks up at him. “I will play the role of God, judging those who sin, but you will be the one to carry their souls to Hell. My Reaper…” Vincent smiles and uses a hand to cradle Adrian’s face. “Only mine.”_

 

_Adrian shudders deeply and pulls Vincent flush against him, still not pressing his lips anymore against Vincent’s. “And you will only be mine.”_

 

_“My body must be shared,” Vincent whispers, snaking an arm around Adrian’s waist. “But my soul is yours.”_

 

_“Your fire,” Adrian confirms. “Your fire will be mine.”_

 

_Vincent nods. “Only ever yours.”_

 

 _They finally kiss, and it is no chaste thing. Vincent is a man of experience and power, but he’s a man who’s known very little about physical contact. His parents died when he was twelve and they never were cuddly with him. He’s never had many lovers, and all of them were merely for business. Vincent has never touched someone simply because he wanted to. Because he wanted them_ . _Rachel is business. Prostitutes are an awkward pleasure. Adrian… Adrian is fire._

 

_Adrian clutches at his dark hair, curling his long fingers into the locks and scraping his nails against the scalp. Vincent’s own hands grab at Adrian’s lower back and his long, ridiculous hair, and when he tugs on it slightly, Adrian release a breathy moan into Vincent’s agape mouth._

 

_From there, they know that there’s no going back._

 

_They scramble to find purchase on each other’s skin, and fabric falls the the floor as the stumble across the room and to the bed. They fall clumsily into the mattress and Vincent wonders if pleasure is always this uncoordinated. Perhaps it is, or perhaps pleasure like this is the best. There is a desperate atmosphere to this that lights aflame their skin and nerves, and these kisses are deep and almost painful. There is no mercy now, only fire._

 

_Adrian’s hands brand Vincent’s skin as his property, and Vincent let’s him. He lets this man touch him and claim him  and mark him, and he lets himself go in the pleasure. To be touched like this… to be touched in any manner… Vincent internally chuckles at how starved he has been. Every touch seems to send fireworks ablaze in his mind, and he wonders if it always feels like this. Surely not, surely it is this intense only because he’s never been touched like this and because he’s never really been touched in general. Surely Adrian is a scorching drug because Vincent has been craving the feeling of another human pressed up against him._

 

_“Let me burn with you.”_

 

_~~~_

 

_The wedding is in spring, and Rachel is beautiful in white._

 

_Diedrich is the best man - much to Adrian’s disappointment, but he understands. Most people don’t know his relation to Vincent Phantomhive, and he’s just a nobody from the lower levels of society. He’s not worthy to be the best man of the Earl Phantomhive, no matter how much he is worth to the man._

 

_Adrian watches the wedding as a polite member of the audience, and no one understands his sad smiles given to the bride and her groom. Vincent pretends to not know him at the wedding, in accordance with their agreement._

 

_Adrian is a stranger in this land, this land of white flowers and new life. Adrian is used to the suffering of the slums and the sounds of a busy city. Not this beautiful land of fields and forests and life._

 

_Adrian is a man of death._

 

_“Hello there!” An elderly lady shakes his hand. “Who just might you be? Do you know the bride or groom?”_

 

_Adrian smiles at her softly, and he watches her carefully from behind his bangs. “Not well. I’ve met Mr. Phantomhive a few times for business, but nothing more.”_

 

_The lady nods her head. “And what is your name?”_

 

_“They call me the Undertaker,” Adrian says with a cold smile on. “I deal with all matters of the dead.”_

 

_The lady seems shocked by this, but she does her best to hide it. “Well, I won’t lie, but I wasn’t expecting that answer.”_

 

_Adrian chuckles. “This is an odd place for me to be in; I’m not used to life like this.”_

 

_The lady nods. “Definitely.”_

 

_Vincent walks over with Rachel in his arm, and he greets the woman and Undertaker._

 

_“Hello, Lady Midford!” Vincent gives her his winning smile. “It’s lovely to see you here.”_

 

_They talk for a few moments and then she’s leaving._

 

_“Hello, Undertaker.”_

 

_Undertaker bows. “Mr. and Mrs. Phantomhive. The wedding is beautiful. It reminds me of Heaven.”_

 

_Rachel laughs with a voice of bells. “Why thank you, Undertaker.” She doesn’t recognize him as her new husband’s friend; Undertaker’s eyes are hidden now and his usually grey button ups have been replaced with black and white robes over his suit._

 

_“It really does feel like a mini Heaven here, no?” Vincent says, casting a quick glance around the tents adorned with white roses._

 

_Undertaker nods. “Heaven indeed.” Little does Rachel know that Undertaker hates Heaven - it’s all lies and high expectations up there. He prefers Purgatory, where the dead are waiting to be judged and can have some last moments of beauty in death._

 

_Rachel is called away by her mother, and so Vincent is left standing there with Undertaker._

 

_“She looks happy,” Undertaker notes._

 

_Vincent smiles. “She really does.”_

 

_Undertaker watches her laughing figure across the room and he finds something painful twisting in his chest. “I should be on my way.”_

 

_“What? Why?” Vincent asks._

 

_Undertaker smirks sadly. “I have business to attend to and this is no place for a mortician.”_

 

_Vincent tries to speak but he ends up closing his mouth and accepting Undertaker’s words. “Okay. But I’ll see you in a few days.”_

 

_“Of course,” Undertaker grins at him. “The Queen's Guard Dog needs his Reaper, after all.”_

 

_~~~_

 

_“Ah! Fuck… that’s… oh my god… oh god…”_

 

_“That’s it, baby, come on…”_

 

_“Fuck!”_

 

_Groans fill the room and high pitched moans join them as well._

 

_“Why did I... have to… bottom?” Vincent groans out, throwing his head back against the pillows as Adrian slowly enters him even more with his fingers._

 

_Adrian chuckles darkly, and the noise sends lovely shivers all through Vincent’s body. “Because you’re obviously the perfect little sub,” Adrian drawls, smirking at the man below him._

 

_“How dare you!” Vincent gasps out. “I am a perfectly capable dom and-”_

 

_Adrian cuts him off. “Maybe with Rachel. But not with me.” Adrian leans down and kisses and nibbles along Vincent’s neck at his fingers slide in even more. “With me you submit.” His fingers curl and Vincent bucks up into Adrian’s body with a sweet whine._

 

_“Adrian!” He gasps out, clutching to the beautiful man above him._

 

 _Adrian’s bright green eyes meet Vincent’s darker ones, and they seem to glow in the faint moonlight. A predatory look fills them and Vincent wonders what type of man hovers over his vulnerable body. Adrian’s fingers curl in the most delightful way again and Vincent decides on an answer to that question. This man giving him strange pleasure is_ his _. Adrian is his. Only his._

 

_Adrian kisses along Vincent’s pale neck and wraps a long hand around Vincent’s length, pumping a few times and Vincent nearly dies right there and then. He is no virgin, he can assure you that, but this is so different from the nights he’s spent with Rachel. Rachel was… more gentle. More caring and cautious. Adrian is a cruel man who has captured Vincent, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. Let Adrian destroy him. Let Adrian break him with this pleasure and desire._

 

_“Vincent,” Adrian murmurs into Vincent’s skin. “You’re so beautiful.”_

 

_Vincent arches up into Adrian and tries to find his lips. Adrian senses his desire and meets him halfway in a loving kiss, which turns from chaste to lustful in mere moments. They tangle their hands in each other’s hair and they lick into each other’s mouths, loving the taste of wine on their lips and the feeling of warmth._

 

_Adrian eases his length into Vincent, and the process is a bit painful and Vincent gasps at the feeling of being so full. It’s much less painful than the first time, but the shock that fills Vincent is still the same. Adrian fills him to the brim and when he’s fully seated inside of his Earl, Vincent grinds his head into the pillows and moans quietly. To have someone inside of you… Vincent is always overwhelmed by the feeling. Does Rachel feel like this during their pitiful sex? So full and so different and so… intimate with him?_

 

_“Vincent, are you good?” Adrian rasps into Vincent’s ear._

 

_He nods and pulls Adrian flush against him. “I feel so full.”_

 

_Adrian nods and buries his face into Vincent’s shoulder. “I’ll let you fill me up the next time we do this,” he says as he pulls out slightly only to rock back into Vincent, eliciting a sinful gasp._

 

Next time?

 

_“That’s what you said last time,” Vincent pants out._

 

_“Who was it that seduced who, tonight, hm?” Adrian whispers darkly. “Those panties were just begging to be ripped and that ass…” Adrian grabs at said ass and groans delightedly into Vincent’s opened mouth. “It was begging to be fucked.”_

 

_Adrian begins rocking in and out of Vincent, moving at a gentle pace for him, but Vincent grips his hair hardly and kisses him roughly. He kisses him with all of the fire he can give and he tries to drown Adrian with his soul._

 

Will there be a next time?

 

_“Fuck me like you mean it,” Vincent rasps into Adrian’s mouth._

 

_Adrian whines in response and snaps his hips into Vincent. “Be careful what you wish for, my Earl.”_

 

There’s always going to be a next time.

 

_Vincent manages to flip them over so Adrian lies beneath him and he straddles him with a dick up his not so virgin arse. “Then I’ll fuck myself with you.”_

 

_Adrian’s eyes widen and he throws his head back as Vincent begins moving up and down his member, trying to find that good spot before the pain overtakes the pleasure._

 

_“Fuck!” He shouts when he finds the spot._

 

_Adrian moans in delight and slams himself back into Vincent, hitting the bundle of nerves straight on. “Ride me like you mean it,” Adrian drawls, and Vincent does not disappoint._

 

_“Be careful what you wish for,” Vincent whispers back before riding Adrian like a desperate man._

 

_The sex the first time was awkward and messy, but no less beautiful than the rest of their nights together._

 

_This time, it’s a lot more controlled and planned, but the frantic desire is still drowning the room. Vincent is trying to find the most pleasure he can in this, and he lives for the pleased faces Adrian gives through the intercourse. The feeling of Adrian inside him… he’ll never be able to get over it. He feels claimed by Adrian and he feels covered by his love and rage. Adrian is his monster who will never hurt him._

 

_They both cum with a loud shout, and Vincent stays firmly seated on Adrian as he cums, even if Vincent knows that he’ll later regret not using a condom or pulling out before Adrian fills him. But he just wants this to happen, for Adrian to paint him his body on the inside and outside._

 

_They lay there in bed, slowly drifting down from their highs, and Adrian brings Vincent closer to his body and spoons him protectively. They’re both covered in cum and sweat, but neither of them can be bothered to care. There, lying in the warmth of their embrace, they can imagine life with each other. Waking up to each other in the morning. Giving chaste and cliche morning kisses. Holding each other on the more rainy days. Being a normal couple._

 

_“We should probably shower,” Vincent murmurs. “Rachel is coming back in an hour.”_

 

_Adrian hums in reply but only holds Vincent closer to his chest. “We can lay here for a little while longer.”_

 

_Vincent scoffs. “Okay.”_

 

_~~~_

 

_“Grimm!” Someone shouts, and the lights blind everyone momentarily._

 

_Bombs go off, and Grimm covers his eyes quickly._

 

“Grimm, can you hear me?” _A small voice crackles through his headpiece._

 

_“I’m here,” Adrian chokes out._

 

“I’m coming for you, just stay alive,” _Vincent says hurriedly, and Adrian can hear his boots colliding with the floor through the headgear._

 

_“No promises,” Adrian chuckles out, but the smoke then fills his lungs and he starts coughing violently._

 

“You should be used to the smoke, dammit!” _Vincent says._

 

_Grimm laughs, but it’s cut off when he sees the silhouette of a new soldier in the warehouse. White uniform stained with blood, and no helmet to mask the insane grin the person dons._

 

_“I know you’re here, Grimm!” The Angel shouts._

 

_Grimm groans. She found him._

 

_“Come out, now!” Angelica hollers._

 

“Grimm, don’t tell me that’s who I think it is,” _Vincent demands through the headset._

 

_“Grimm!” She shouts._

 

_Grimm stands up slowly and faces the Angel. “Hello, you bitch.”_

 

_She cackles in delight. “The Grimm Reaper! Oh I am just so delighted to finally meet you!”_

 

_“Grimm get the hell out of there,” Vincent whispers frantically._

 

_“I assume you want to fight?” Grimm says, spreading his arms._

 

“Grimm don’t be an idiot!”

 

_Angelica nods. “You know I do.” She pulls out a long and slim sword, threaded with electrodes and Grimm does his best not to cringe at the thought of being struck by that thing._

 

_Grimm extends his own weapon - a long and traditional Reaper Scythe - and he steadies himself for the upcoming fight._

 

_She attacks first, lunging at him with a large arc of her sword, and Grimm neatly dodges the blow before returning the favor. They fight like beautiful monsters surrounded by the smell of burning flesh and the warmth of the bombs, and all the time Grimm can hear Vincent shouting into his ear, begging for him to retreat._

 

_Eventually, though, Grimm begins to tire. He took a heavy blow to the ribs earlier, and now he pays the consequences of being human. His parries become sluggish and her blade nips at his arms and fingers, sending brief flashes of pain down his nerves. He tries to deliver a killing blow - damn capturing her as Vincent instructed - but she’s faster than him. She hits the scythe out of his hands and strikes up his body, carving into his legs, chest, and then face. Fire paints his nerves, and he’s not sure if the screams are his own. The world becomes pain and darkness, and he faintly hears Angelica laughing._

 

_He falls to the floor and lays there, as good as dead._

 

“Adrian!” _A desperate voice shouts._ “Dammit, Adrian!” _The voice breaks slightly and suddenly Grimm is being cradled in someone's arms._ “Get help! Now! Red, tend to his wounds. Sparrow, get help. Bull, secure the premises.”

 

“But sir, the Angel, she’s escaped.”

 

“I know that! Just do as you’re told!”

 

_Something wet falls onto Adrian’s eyes, and he slowly realizes that it’s a tear._

 

“Don’t you dare be dead.”

 

_~~~_

 

_Adrian recovers quickly enough, but he’s scarred. White threads across his face, down his neck, across his chest, and then across his right thigh. Angelica got away. Vincent failed to kidnap the Angel or at least kill her. Adrian failed Vincent._

 

_When Adrian is discharged from the hospital, Vincent takes him to his home and puts him in Vincent’s old bedroom. He now sleeps in his parent’s old room with Rachel. Little Ciel sleeps in the nursery next to their room._

 

_Rachel and Ciel are off in France for a month, so Vincent has the chance to stay with Adrian throughout the night. He falls asleep while cradling his Reaper, and Adrian is always wrapped in Vincent’s warmth._

 

_“Do I look repulsive?” Adrian asks one night._

 

_Vincent props himself on one elbow and looks at Adrian with a confused expression. “Because of the scars?”_

 

_Adrian nods nonchalantly._

 

_Vincent scoffs. “Angelica didn’t really damage anything visually important, so you just look badass instead of disfigured.”_

 

_Adrian rolls his eyes. “Looks like I’ll have to thank Angelica for the scars, then.”_

 

_Vincent swats his lover gently and cuddles into his chest again. “I think she can live without the praise.”_

 

_“Maybe.”_

 

_They make love that night, and Vincent lets Adrian top - again. They don’t do anything to strenuous because of Adrian’s healing body, so the pace is slow and overflowing with adoration. It’s different from their usual intense fuck fest, and Vincent can in full confidence call it ‘making love.’ Adrian holds him with gentle hands that are calloused and worn, and Vincent feels safe in them. The fire has subdued into a candle’s light, no longer roaring but still bright._

 

_“Adrian,” Vincent breathes as they begin the race for their climax._

 

_“Yeah?” Adrian  replies breathily._

 

_Vincent gasps into Adrian’s mouth and kisses him as best as he can while Adrian rapidly moving in and out of him. “I want to burn with you. I want to be yours. Only yours.”_

 

_Adrian kisses Vincent with a cruel passion. “Then burn with me.”_

 

_~~~_

 

_They do indeed burn together, but not in the way they desired. The fire that consumes their souls isn’t passion and love, but instead it’s tragedy and isolation._

 

_Ciel grows ever so steadily, and Vincent stays more and more with Rachel to try to be a good father for his son. Adrian comes over less and less, and instead establishes his position in the underworld. He becomes Grimm, and he usually only sees Vincent for Guard Dog business._

 

_The nights in which they do spend together are rare, and they usually are filled with more agony than pleasure. They grasp at each other with the longing to hold the other, and tears stemmed from loneliness stain the back of their eyes. To be held… held in an embrace that only the other can understand… they’ve missed it._

 

_And the fire that does come is cruel._

 

_Angelica comes in the dead of night, and she sets ablaze the Phantomhive manor._

 

_~~~_

 

_Grimm is tortured for days in end after Vincent’s death. They say that a ghost has chained him to the wall and elicited the most pained cries from him. Fellow Reapers come to comfort their fallen friend, but none can._

 

_Grimm goes to visit his grave often, standing there and staring blankly at the stone that marks the resting place of his Earl, a tomb which doesn’t even hold a body. His ashes were released over the ocean._

 

HERE LIES

 

VINCENT PHANTOMHIVE

 

LOVING FRIEND, HUSBAND AND  FATHER

 

_The grave next to his is also marked._

 

HERE LIES

 

RACHEL PHANTOMHIVE

 

LOVING FRIEND, WIFE AND MOTHER

 

_Ciel has gone missing, and no one knows whether or not the body has just been undiscovered or he’s survived._

 

_“I’ll find him,” Grimm whispers to the empty grave. “I’ll find your son.”_

 

_~~~_

 

_Ciel was stolen by Angelica._

 

_Her men tainted the innocent flesh and blood of Vincent Phantomhive’s son._

 

_Grimm only sees red when he destroys the entire building and sets it aflame, carrying out a passed out Ciel._

 

_He fakes his own death once Ciel is returned to Tanaka._

 

_~~~_

 

_“Grimm is dead,” William whispers, not facing his lover._

 

_Grell says nothing, but merely wraps Will in a loving embrace._

 

_“He’s gone.”_

 

_Grell kisses the tip of his head and holds Will tightly._

 

_“Phantomhive killed him.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the ending is a bit shoddy, but I didn’t really know how else to end it? Bc I want to keep some stuff still a secret but still reveal stuff even if everyone probably already knows everything but oh well. 
> 
> And btw, I’m probably going to updating a lot slower than I usually do, because I got dragged back into the Attack on Titan fandom and now I’m writing another fic for that. I’m not abandoning this fic, though! I plan on actually finishing a piece of extended writing so you guys are stuck with me until this shit storm is over and Sebastian and Ciel finally get their shit together and kiss and shit.
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments and tell me what you think!


	12. One Hell of a Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uuuugggghhhhh this chapter to me is really cringey but listen once I get to the climax it should be better. I have a lot of time this weekend to actually write my shit, so hopefully I’ll work on this fic and make sure the climax is worth all of this pain. But anyways, enjoy, I guess?

“Ciel.”

 

Nothing

 

“Ciel.”

 

Nothing again.

 

“Mr. Phantomhive.”

 

More silence followed by a sigh.

 

Sebastian looks at his sleeping master with a raised eyebrow and sighs yet again. This boy is hopeless at times, and Sebastian is surprised by his ability to fall asleep in random places. Sebastian had been off collecting information about Ronald Knox, and when he came back, Ciel was fast asleep at his desk. Madam Red is entertaining Claude and Alois downstairs with stories of Ciel’s childhood, and Sebastian had to use quite a lot of his willpower to not stay there and listen to the stories of his young and hopeful master. However, he had shakes his head and reminded himself that he has a job to do and a purpose to prove. Ciel could still kick him out if he made one wrong move, and he has no times to chat idly about stories when there are Reapers to catch.

 

Sebastian leans down, letting the silky bangs of his hair brush Ciel’s cheek, and he whispers deeply, “My Ciel, it is time for you to wake up.”

 

The response is almost instant. Ciel’s eye snaps open and Sebastian is met with a very naked gaze. There is nothing guarded in Ciel’s eye, and Sebastian’s mouth falls open slightly at the innocence and pure curiosity he sees. Ciel’s pupil dilates in and out as he focuses on the face before him, and it settles at quite a blown state.

 

“Sebastian?” He asks sleepily.

 

Sebastian smiles sweetly. “Good evening, my lord. I do believe it is time for you to wake up.”

 

Ciel’s pupil narrows and he sits up quickly before clutching at his head and groaning. “How long was I asleep?”

 

Sebastian chuckles softly. “I’m not sure. I left for an hour or two to collect the information you desired, and when I came back, you were here sleeping.”

 

Ciel rubs his eye and moans quietly. “Sorry. I didn’t know what came over me.”

 

“Exhaustion, probably,” Sebastian notes nonchalantly. “You’ve been very sleepy recently.”

 

Ciel glares at him while standing up and stretching his lithe body. Sebastian cannot stop himself from eyeing Ciel’s chest, hips, and pert little bottom while Ciel stretches, and thankfully Ciel doesn’t notice.

 

“I wasn't tired today,’ Ciel mutters.

 

“Only because I related important information to you,” Sebastian says.

 

Ciel scoffs. “Did you find more information about Ronald Knox?”

 

Sebastian nods and whips out a slender red notebook and flicks it open. “Ronald Henry Knox. Son of Adriana Phillips and Gregory Knox. Twenty eight years old. Single child. Current occupation: a psychologist at London Bridge Hospital. He specializes in patients who suffer from chronological depression and anxiety. He’s currently living in a flat in downtown London, and he has no flat mates.”

 

Ciel eyes Sebastian’s notebook. “I assume you have an address?”

 

Sebastian smirks. “Of course, my lord. What type of assistant would I be if I couldn’t find but one man in England?”

 

“There’s sixty six million people in the UK, Sebastian,” Ciel mutters, but he looks pleased at Sebastian’s work. “What other important information is there?”

 

Sebastian’s eyes twinkle. “He hasn’t been heard from for about a week, ever since the day of the attack on Alois’ hospital. He also isn’t very close with a lot of people, and the people he associates himself with are just as strange as him.”

 

“Do you have a list of names?” Ciel asks.

 

Sebastian shakes his head. “I have the beginning of a list, but Abberline is finishing up the list and double checking the facts. I wanted to check up on you.”

 

Ciel nods. “Fair enough. What time is it?”

 

Sebastian glances at his watch and answers, “Five forty three, my lord.”

 

“Excellent. I’ll have dinner when we get back, tell Tanaka to begin preparing supper or at least save it until I get home, and I’ll get Finny to fetch the car.”

 

“We’re going out, my lord?”

 

Ciel rolls his eyes and looks at Sebastian obviously. “You don’t say, Sebastian. You have an address, so let’s go check it out. Time is of the essence.”

 

Sebastian narrows his eyes. “My lord, do you really think that it would be wise to rush into this and-”

 

‘Don’t question me!” Ciel snarls, pointing an accusatory finger at his butler. “I know what I’m doing - I’ve been doing it for longer than you have. We’re going to investigate the man’s flat, nothing drastic. Paperwork takes too much time and it’s best to do it while Abberline is busy.”

 

Sebastian shut his mouth into a thin line before replying, “Yes, my lord.”

 

“Good. Now go tell Tanaka that I will return within an hour or two.”

 

Sebastian walks out in the perfect butler manner, and Ciel watches him as he goes. A perfect soldier and a perfect butler. It’s humorous, really. The perfect creature, and he’s just within Ciel’s grasp. Ciel shakes his head and balls his hands into small fists. No, he can’t think about that. He can’t let his joy in getting one step closer to both Spears and Sebastian overtake him. He has to remain flawless like Sebastian. Ciel breathes deeply and unclenches his hands. _Perfect, like Sebastian._

 

Ciel walks out of his study with his gun in its holster and tells Finny to prepare the car for Sebastian to drive, and Sebastian arrives in the driveway within a few minutes.

 

“Let’s go,” Cil says. “Take me to our Reaper.”

 

They drive in tense silence, and it’s not tense because of any sexual desires or the like - but instead Ciel is filled with the excitement to finally catch a Reaper of importance. A Reaper which is not prepared for him, a Reaper which has a name and an identity. All of Ciel’s prisoners are pointless and all seem like mindless slaves to Ciel. They stay silence and repeat their mission in monotone voices, not even screaming when the nails on their fingerprintless hands are ripped off. Ciel finally has a chance to catch Spears.

 

The excitement isn’t only because of his chance to prove his ultimate worth to the Queen, but he finally feels his father’s death coming closer to vengeance. Grimm died, years ago, but now Ciel has a chance to kill off his successor.

 

The Phantomhive heir against the Reaper heir.

 

Ciel scoffs. _How fitting,_ he thinks to himself.

 

“My lord?” Sebastian asks when he sees Ciel scoff.

 

“It’s nothing,” Ciel mutters, staring out of the window. “I was just thinking to myself.”

 

“If you say so,” Sebastian murmurs.

 

Ciel whips his head back round to Sebastian. “I do say so, thank you very much,” Ciel snaps.

 

Sebastian doesn’t seem hurt or even slightly threatened by Ciel’s comment. Instead, he laughs quietly and just keeps on driving peacefully. _How dare he,_ Ciel thinks while scrunching up his nose and turning back to the window to stare angrily out.

 

They arrive within the next twenty minutes or so, and Sebastian quietly parks on the pavement in a small ally nearby the flat. They exit in silence and walk in silence, and Ciel is slightly disturbed by the silence that fills the street. London is a busy place with crowded streets filled with at least three languages at a time, and it’s rare to find a street - no matter how small - as quiet as this. Ciel can’t even hear anyone laughing or talking from inside the buildings that line the ally.

 

“Sebastian,” Ciel begins quietly. “Where is Knox’s flat?”

 

“Just down here,” Sebastian murmurs, leading Ciel down a few doors and then up a rusty flight of stairs. They arrive at the door peacefully enough, and they then stand there, unsure of what to do.

 

“Do you want me to knock?” Sebastian whispers, a smirk marking his lips.

 

Ciel glares at him and knocks twice on the door, saying nothing.

 

There is no reply.

 

Ciel knocks again.

 

Nothing but silence greets their ears.

 

“Look’s like no one is home,” Sebastian murmurs.

 

Ciel has to fight the urge to snap at Sebastian’s sass, but he manages to control himself and he instead knocks one more time.

 

“Hello?” He calls out. “Is anyone home?”

 

Sebastian looks blankly at Ciel, as if to say, _Really?_

 

“What?” Ciel mouths, and Sebastian just shrugs and rolls his eyes.

 

Ciel sighs and pounds on the door. “Hello?!”

 

“There’s no one home, my lord,” Sebastian says again. “We best leave until Abberline can get us a permit.”

 

Ciel scoffs. “I work outside of the law, in case you’ve forgotten, Sebastian.” Ciel steps away from the door and turns expectantly to Sebastian. “Kick the door down.”

 

Sebastian gapes at Ciel. “Sorry?”

 

“You heard me!” Ciel snaps. “Kick it down. Or pick the lock. Just get this door open within the next three minutes.”

 

“You’ve even given me a time limit,” Sebastian mutters before using Ciel back slightly.

 

“Just open the door,” Ciel mutters.

 

“Yes, my lord,” Sebastian mutters, and then his foot collides with the door and suddenly it’s falling to the ground with a loud groan.

 

Ciel stares at the fallen door with wide and appreciative eyes. “Well done,” he says, grinning up at Sebastian. “Now let’s uncover what we can about Knox.”

 

They enter the flat with caution, but Ciel is bristling with excitement. For the first time in forever he is on an actual interesting case with missing people and doors to have kicked down. Last time he did something like this, he was alone and nearly had his liver eaten - don’t ask - but now he knows he has Sebastian to watch his back. He’ll never admit his feelings for the man, but he what he will admit is his trust in Sebastian. Sebastian is a soldier, and a damn good one. Sebastian will protect him.

 

“Stay with me and let’s search the place,” Ciel whispers to Sebastian, who nods in reply.

 

They go from room to room in further silence, peeking around corners and then bursting into rooms with guns raised. They move through the surprisingly large flat in silence, communicating with small gestures and head movements, and Ciel is pleased in how well they communicate with each other. There is compromise and the intentions seem to flow gently between the two of them - something Ciel highly appreciates.

 

What Ciel is not pleased by, however, is the lack of a certain Ronald Knox in the apartment.

 

“He’s not here,” Ciel mutters, gritting his teeth.

 

Sebastian shakes his head. “There’s not a lot of things in here, either.”

 

Ciel nods in agreement. “It’s a large flat, but there’s no furniture, and it’s all worn down and old. You saw the bed, that thing was a piece of shit.”

 

Sebastian purses his lips at his earl. “It’s doable.”

 

“But still shit,” Ciel mutters.

 

Sebastian has no argument to that so he remains silent on that topic. “The flat had two beds. In the third room, there’s a section of the room that has a significantly less amount of dust on it - and it’s the shape of a bed. The flat itself is also rather large, so I suspect that Ronald did not live here alone.”

 

Ciel eyes his carefully. “You said he had no flat mates.”

 

Sebastian shakes his head. “He didn’t, but he’s lived here for quite long and this apartment is a bit big for only one person. He’d have someone with him.”

 

Ciel nods. “So, Reapers like to stick together?”

 

“They’re always in pairs,” Sebastian reminds Ciel, and Ciel nods.

 

“We have an even amount of prisoners, and in all of the recording clips you brought us, it’s always two or more people talking.”

 

“Reapers are never alone,” Sebastian confirms.

 

“Let’s search the place again,” Ciel says. “There has to be something here. You go one room and I’ll go another, the danger is gone.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Ciel moves to the main bedroom that has a bed and shit, and he stares sadly at how old and dull it is. Grey walls, dull green curtains, dull brown dresser and nightstand, and dull green sheets. No fashion at all, although Ciel isn’t one to judge. Tanaka is the one who figures out all of the color stuff in Ciel’s life anyways, however Ciel knows that Tanaka would have disapproved of this room.

 

He opens the dresser drawers and is shocked by the emptiness. A couple old shirts, some coins, and a couple unwrapped condoms are all he finds, along with the piles of dust.

 

“Did anyone even live here?” Ciel asks the silence, and he’s grateful that the silence does not reply. That would be creepy.

 

He looks beside and under the bed, finding dust and the like, and he goes to the closet to check before leaving the boring as fuck room. Being over dramatic, he throws open the closet doors and frowns at the grey and dust he expects. However, there is a ball of wires and metal attached to the wall, and there are strings attached to the doors. A ticking fills Ciel’s ear, and he jumps back in panic as the ticking quickens.

 

“Sebastian!” He shouts just before the bomb explodes.

 

~~~

 

“Sebastian!”

 

The explosion fills the air and Sebastian just barely picks up the scream that comes from Ciel.

 

He rushes to the room, cursing every god in existence for killing Ciel and yet praying to all of them for Ciel’s safety. He runs into the smoking and slowly burning room, and he spots Ciel’s frail body against the wall, lying limp.

 

“Ciel!” He breathes out, clambering to Ciel and gathering him in his arms. His fingers search for a pulse as he rushes Ciel out of the room and out of the apartment, and he nearly shouts in relief when his fingers detect the faint pulsing of Ciel’s heartbeat. “Thank heavens,” Sebastian murmurs, pressing his forehead to Ciel’s.

 

He brings the boy to the car - not wanting to be seen at the crime scene, even if he’d like to go gather information. Gingerly laying Ciel down on the backseat, he grabs the emergency med kit in the boot and tends to his Ciel.

 

Little burn marks trace Ciel’s hands and forehead, but most of him seems to be unscathed - thanks to the thick winter clothes on must always wear in the shitty weather if England. He feels a bump in the back of Ciel’s head - probably from the force that threw him against the the wall - and he guesses that the boy will be spotting several bruises across his body. He feels no broken ribs and as he peels away Ciel’s outer clothing, he can spot no serious internal bleeding.

 

“Thank you,” Sebastian sighs to no one in particular, resting his face in his hands. Ciel is okay.

 

He stays there for a few moments, but then he sees something red move quickly in the corner of his eye. He stands up immediately and tucks Ciel safely into the car, locking the doors and pocketing the keys. He keeps his eyes trained on the corner he saw the red vanish behind, and he begins slowly walking towards it. His boots gently thud against the pavement and his hand rests on his knives as he nears the corner. Just before he passes it, he pauses and takes a deep but quiet breath.

 

_Here goes nothing._

 

He lunges around the corner without drawing his weapons drawn and is met with nothing. Is there nothing here, then? Sebastian’s instinct tells him otherwise. There is something watching him, and he needs to get rid of it before he drives away with Ciel, lest they follow him. He knows Ciel is safe in the car - that thing could survive even one of Finny’s tantrums - so he focuses on locating the person stalking him.

 

“I know you’re there,” Sebastian says with a conversational tone, a cheeky but stressed grin on his lips. “I suggest you come out. I won’t bite.”

 

Footsteps sound behind him and he whips around to face them.

 

Two soldiers with red masks face Sebastian, and they both have their weapons drawn - staffs that Sebastian is sure are lined with electric currents that flow to their will. They stand like statues, waiting for Sebastian to make the first move and strike, but he does no such thing.

 

“You look hideous with the masks,” Sebastian says nonchalantly, his fingers grazing over his knives. “I suggest you take them off, I’m sure you’d both look much prettier without them.”

 

“Battle Angel,” A warbled voice behind Sebastian says, to which he turns halfway to greet.

 

Sebastian narrows his eyes at the third person in the ally, who dons not a red mast but instead a yellow one. “Is that what you Reapers call me?”

 

“You and your partner,” Yellow Face responds, pulling out a rather impressive pistol.

 

“Partner?” Sebastian drawls. “Do you mean Arachne?”

 

“Claude Faustus,” Yellow Face says, and Sebastian stares at him in shock.

 

Yellow Face makes a sound that is awfully similar to choking, but Sebastian assumes that he’s laughing. “Don’t look so surprised, Sebastian Michaelis. The Reapers are an ancient and wise race, not much gets past us.”

 

_Ancient race?_

 

“Why are you here?” Sebastian demands.

 

“To take you to Spears. He’s not a happy man, right now. Not ever since the Guard Dog took another soul under his wing to destroy,” Yellow Face drawls.

 

_A soul to destroy? What on earth is this man talking about?_

 

“I’m afraid I do not know what you mean,” Sebastian says carefully. “But go ahead, take me to Spears. That’ll be fun to see.”

 

Yellow Face cracks his neck and knuckles. “Let us begin.”

 

Sebastian throws four knives to get rid of the first two Reapers, and he lunges for Yellow Face who also attacks in kind. Sebastian dodges a bullet as he throws his own weaponry, hoping to land a serious blow, but Yellow Face dodges them. Cursing in his head, he brings himself to closer contact with Yellow Face and throws some punches and kicks - which are all dodged or blocked.

 

Sebastian attacks ruthlessly for a while, and Yellow Face responds in kind, hitting Sebastian on the side. The fight seems fairly evenly weighted, but Sebastian has the Phantomhive pride to protect. He cannot go back to Ciel in defeat; he must beat this Reaper and return to his Ciel in victory.

 

So he doubles his attacks with the image of Ciel’s twinkling eye in his mind, focusing on why he is fighting. He begins winning, too, and he grins just as he’s about to deal a particularly nasty blow to Yellow Face’s neck, but then a gunshot goes off and the world seems to freeze.

 

Why was there a gunshot?

 

Both Yellow Face and Sebastian seem perplexed by the noise, but Yellow Face recovers more quickly from it. He punches Sebastian in the face and runs off, and Sebastian blindly follows him.

 

_He’s going towards Ciel…_

 

Sebastian’s nerves go aflame when he realizes a potential explanation for the gunshot.

 

_Ciel._

 

Sebastian doubles his efforts and chases after Yellow Face, and as he turns the corner he sees Ciel standing outside of the car with a gun in hand, and there’s a Reaper on the ground who Yellow Face is running towards.

 

_Of course. Reapers always come in pairs._

 

Sebastian tries to catch up to Yellow Face and protect Ciel, but the pair instead run off, leaving Sebastian with a very shocked looking Ciel.

 

“Ciel?” He asks uncertainty, grasping at Ciel’s shoulders and looking into his eye. “What happened?”

 

Ciel looks back at him with some sort of confusion and panic when Sebastian touches him, but then it softens into something comforted and content.

 

“Ciel?”

 

Ciel does not respond, but instead faints into Sebastian’s arms.

 

~~~

 

Ciel wakes up surrounded by warmth, and it’s pleasant until the pain fills his body. His head throbs violently and it feels like he’s been run over by a truck. He moans softly, and suddenly worried hands are flitting all over him.

 

“Ciel? How are you feeling?” Sebastian asks frantically, and Ciel lifts his head slightly to meet Sebastian’s maroon eyes. He’s in Sebastian’s arms and sitting sideways on his lap, but Ciel feels like he doesn’t have the strength to push himself away from Sebastian. It’s not like he wants to, anyways. He feels safe in Sebastian’s embrace, for some reason.

 

“Was it a bomb?” Ciel asks, stretching his neck and wincing as it pops.

 

Sebastian nods. “You threw open the door and activated the bomb. It was very reckless of you, my lord.”

 

Ciel scoffs. “I opened a door. Nothing that threatening.”

 

Sebastian can offer no reply, but instead cradles Ciel closer to his body. “I’m glad you’re okay,” he whispers into Ciel’s hair, and Ciel shivers as Sebastian’s breath meets his skin.

 

Ciel stays there for a moment, but then realizes his situation. A bomb went off, and then a Reaper opened the car and tried to kidnap him, and he’s currently relaxing in Sebastian’s admittedly comfortable arms.

 

“Let go of me,” Ciel mutters, pushing gently on Sebastian’s chest.

 

Sebastian relents, and Ciel clambers off his chest onto the seat beside Sebastian, realizing that they’re sitting in the backseat of the car, parked in a different place as before. Ciel numbly recognizes it as a place near the London Eye.

 

“You didn’t drive back to the manor? Or to a hospital?” Ciel exclaims, looking around quickly but then groaning as his head throbs again with pain.

 

Sebastian is immediately holding Ciel again, and he responds, “I needed to make sure you were alright.”

 

Ciel scoffs. “And you didn’t think to drive me to a _hospital_ to do so or at least to Madam Red?”

 

“I have two reasons why I didn’t, Ciel,” Sebastian says lowly. “One, you would have reacted more negatively if you woke up to a doctor or Madam Red fussing over you. Two, it’s not my first instinct to drive someone to a hospital when they get hurt.”

 

Ciel scoffs quietly. “Then what is your first instinct?” He asks, his voice muffled my Sebastian’s jumper.

 

“To take care of them myself. I didn’t grow up with easy access to a hospital, so I just always treated myself and the few friends I had. If the injuries were serious, I would call a trusted adult or steal medicine,” Sebastian explains, soothingly moving his hand up and down Ciel’s back.

 

Ciel is unsure of how to respond to Sebastian’s words. Sebastian grew up alone? That’s certainly what it sounds like to Ciel, and what type of life did he live if he didn’t seem to trust hospitals?

 

“Well, I’m okay now. So take me back home,” Ciel says. “We’ll discuss what happened on the way or when we get back.”

 

“Yes, my lord.”

 

 _When did the relationship between us become master and butler?_ Ciel wonders on the way home, staring at the back of Sebastian’s head. _We started as client and… well you know, stripper. Then we became Guard Dog and Archangel. Then partners in this Reaper situation. Now? Now he has become my servant, and I have taken the place of his master._

 

_Why did it even come to this? Because he’s playing the part of my butler and because he’s just following Tanaka’s example? The entire notion in itself is horribly old fashioned and archaic, though. This is the twenty first century and yet he calls me his ‘lord.’ I am not his lord. I’m his boss, yes, but that’s not the same as lord._

 

_This isn’t even the first time he’s called me that. Not even the day he became my butler was the first time I heard those words passing through his sinful lips. It was at the fucking strip club, for god’s sake. He was trying to get a kink out of me or something, and now he says it in normal everyday situations as if it’s the most natural thing to do. As if the roles we play are meant to be._

 

 _But I am not his master,_ Ciel thinks bitterly. _I have never been and I never will be._

 

“Sebastian,” Ciel says.

 

“My lord?”

 

Ciel rolls his eyes slightly at Sebastian’s choice of words. “We need to find Spears.”

 

He sees Sebastian’s brows furrow in the mirror. “Well, of course. That is our main goal.”

 

Ciel nods. “Obviously, but time is running out. We need to get contact with him. This game - a rather shitty one, may I say - has been dragged out for too long. People are getting hurt unnecessarily. We need to draw him out. Knox obviously fled, but there are people who have been watching us. We just need to make the right move.”

 

Sebastian nods. “I agree. We’ll see what we can do once we get back to the manor.”

 

~~~

 

“CIEL PHANTOMHIVE!” Madam Red shouts when a very sheepish Sebastian and frustrated Ciel arrive home. “WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?”

 

“I went to go collect evidence and I was attacked, Red,” Ciel mutters, not meeting her eye. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

 

Red scoffs and sits Ciel down on the couch and begins surgically touching Ciel and feeling for wounds. “Concussion, multiple bruises, cuts everywhere, small burns, and stupidity!” Red declares. “Not that big of a deal.”

 

Ciel has to fight the urge to roll his eyes. “I haven’t been stabbed, exploded, raped or shot. This is nothing.”

 

“Ha!” Red shouts. “ _This_ had the potential to be very damaging to your already fragile health!” She points to the general area also known as Ciel’s body. “You need to be more careful.”

 

Ciel does indeed roll his eyes, although Red can only see the one peeking out from behind blue hair. “I am the fu-”

 

“Do _not_ cuss at your aunt, Ciel,” Red snarls. “You’re mouth is filthy and I will wash it out with soap. I’ve been too lenient with you.”

 

Ciel glares at her. “I am the Guard Dog, not some child. I take risks and I play the game. You have to get over that, _Aunt Angelina_.”

 

“You are a child, Ciel,” Red says, crossing her arms and looking sadly at Ciel. “That’s the problem with this. You are a child and yet you hold your father’s mantel. Even he didn’t immediately take up the position of Guard Dog after his father died; he waited until he was eighteen and a legal adult. You’re barely seventeen.”

 

“I can take care of myself,” Ciel snaps, standing up and beginning to walk to his room.

 

Madam Red sighs. “You need butlers to survive and you can barely dress yourself,” she points out.

 

“But I can command a small army and win every battle the Queen gives me!” Ciel shouts over his shoulder, walking up the stairs in a stubborn manner.

 

“You can’t even tie your boot laces!” Red counters.

 

“Yes I can!” Ciel mutters.

 

Red sighs and looks sadly to Sebastian. “He’s hopeless, your little lord.”

 

Sebastian shrugs. “That is your opinion. I can only serve him and aid him in the fight against the Reapers.”

 

Red nods, but then narrows her eyes at Sebastian with a clever and mildly frightening glint in her eye. “Sebastian?”

 

“Yes?” Sebastian answers, unsure of what Madam Red is plotting now.

 

“You’re one of our best soldiers, correct?”

 

“I am proud to say that this is what Ciel believes,” Sebastian murmurs.

 

Red grins. “And Ciel’s most trusted soldier besides myself?”

 

Sebastian narrows his eyes suspiciously at Red but answers, “I would hope so.”

 

Her grin grows even wider. “Then I have a job for you.”

 

“A job?”

 

“Yes,” she says, her grin finally calming down into a smile. “I want you to become Ciel’s bodyguard,” she declares happily.

 

“What?” Ciel shouts from the top of the staircase.

 

Red turns to shoot Ciel a victorious smirk. “You heard me! Sebastian will become the Earl Phantomhive’s bodyguard, and you are to _not_ let Ciel out of your sight.”

 

Ciel sputters as he launches himself down the stair and clambers towards Red, and he grabs at her arm and stares her down. “No.”

 

“Yes,” she laughs. “You were attacked today, and I don’t see a problem with having someone dedicated to protecting you.”

 

“She does have a point,” Sebastian says slowly, looking to Ciel. “I left you alone and the fourth Reaper got to you.”

 

Red widens her eyes at Sebastian. “You left him alone? Is that why he’s covered in blood?!”

 

“That was from the bomb!” Ciel exclaims.

 

“Which was when I left you alone the first time,” Sebastian points out.

 

“Why are you siding with her?” Ciel snarls at Sebastian, balling his hands into little fists.

 

Madam Red chuckles. “Because I’m right, Ciel.”

 

“I don’t need a bodyguard! I am perfectly capable of protecting myself!” Ciel shouts.

 

Sebastian purses his lips and then says, “Well…”

 

“Don’t you dare side with her, Sebastian!” Ciel growls. “You are supposed to be _mine_.”

 

Sebastian raises a brow at Ciel and opens his mouth to say something, but thankfully Madam Red interrupts him.

 

“Yes, Ciel. He is yours.  _Your_ bodyguard,” Madam Red says with a flourish of her hand.

 

Ciel groans and buries his face in his hands. “This isn’t going to happen.”

 

“It is happening, Ciel dear,” Red drawls.

 

Ciel glares at her from behind his fingers. “Fuck you.”

 

“Language, my lord,” Sebastian murmurs and Ciel shoots him a dirty look.

 

 _Bastard,_ Ciel thinks.

 

“See?” Red says. “Already he’s siding with me.”

 

Ciel has no reply. No verbal reply, at least. Mentally, he’s killing her slowly and calling her the worst names he shouldn’t be even mentally calling his aunt.

 

“So, Sebastian.” Red turns to Sebastian and claps her hands. “Your job is simple. I want Ciel to be safer than a newborn babe in their mother’s arms, and it is your job to do that. Since you’ve mentioned that Ciel has gotten hurt when you’ve left him, then you are not allowed to leave him.” She grins wickedly at the pair. “And I would suggest sleeping in the same room until this Reaper business is over.”

 

Ciel doesn't even have the strength to properly deny her. “Why?”

 

“Because I want you _safe_ , Ciel,” Red says plainly.

 

Ciel scoffs. “There are easier ways of doing that.”

 

Red shrugs. “Sure. But this is the most realistic way. I can’t lock you in the mansion, you’ll just escape. I can’t tell you to stay out of fights, because you’ll then just ignore me. And I definitely can’t tell you to quit, because being the Guard Dog has now consumed your entire life. With Sebastian as your bodyguard, you can do as you please but still stay safe.”

 

“You have that much faith in Sebastian?” Ciel asks.

 

Red shakes her head slightly. “Not really. But you do. I’ve seen the way you look at him in the battlefield and in your jobs. You trust Sebastian, and I will trust your judgement on this.”

 

Ciel feels a bit honored, but he doesn’t let it get to him. “Fine. But he’s not staying with me for twenty four seven.”

 

Madam Red purses her lips but says nothing.

 

“Shall we properly tend to your wounds, then?” Sebastian asks.

 

Ciel sighs and nods. “Red, patch me up.”

 

Red nods. “Of course, Ciel.”


	13. One Hell of a Bodyguard (and more)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this chapter is hella choppy and that there isn’t much plot, but I needed Sebastian and Ciel to just... clear the air, per say. I’ll probably edit it a lot later, but I’m publishing the less edited version now because I do what I want. 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy, I guess.
> 
> (Now edited Bc I realized I forgot Madam Red. I know sue me)

“CIEL!”

 

Ciel is groaning the moment Elizabeth’s voice rings through the mansion, and he prepares his already weak body to handle Elizabeth’s coming embrace. She throws herself onto Ciel, and he manages to not collapse onto the floor.

 

“Ms. Midford, I would refrain from being so forceful with Ciel,” Sebastian says kindly.

 

Ciel rolls his eyes and Elizabeth looks to Sebastian with a confused expression. “Eh? What happened?” She looks to Ciel and then widens her eyes in shock.

 

“OhmygodCielI’msosososososorryIdidn’tmeantodothatIdidn’tknowyouwerehurtpleasedon’tkillme,” she blurts out, and Ciel is proud of himself for understanding the string of panic coming out of Elizabeth’s mouth.

 

Sebastian obviously has not understood her, if the expression Ciel sees on his face out of the corner of his eye is accurate, and Ciel smirks slightly. It’s the little things in life that get Ciel through the day.

 

“It’s fine, Elizabeth. I’m not that injured,” Ciel murmurs, and Elizabeth sighs in relief.

 

“What happened?” She asks, and when eyeing Sebastian, she says, “This doesn’t look like the aftermath of a sex marathon.”

 

“E l i z a b e t h ,” Ciel groans out, slapping a gloved hand over her mouth. “For the hundredth time I am not doing anything sexual with Sebastian! Remember last time you were here?”

 

Elizabeth’s expression turns horrified and she’s instantly in Ciel’s arms, begging for forgiveness. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I forgot and I told myself I wouldn’t do anything stupid again but then I went and did it I’m sorry please don’t hate me-”

 

“Lizzy.”

 

That shuts Elizabeth up, and she looks up to Ciel with large green eyes.

 

“It’s okay,” Ciel says kindly. “You stepped out of line, but I was in a bad mood that day. We both exploded.” He smiles softly and does his best to appear loving. “You’re my oldest friend, and I’m not going to hate you that easily.”

 

Tears well up in Elizabeth’s eyes and she’s throwing herself onto Ciel - again - and sobbing tears of joy. “Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!”

 

Ciel cringes just a bit when he feels her tears start to stain his shirt. “It’s fine,” he says, patting her back reassuringly. Dear god, he’s really hopeless when it comes to crying girls throwing themselves at him. Not that it happens often - thankfully - but you’d think Ciel would learn by know how to deal with Elizabeth and her tears.

 

Ciel catches Sebastian’s eye, and Sebastian looks like he’s trying not to laugh. _The little piece of shit,_ Ciel thinks. He throws Sebastian the most venomous looks he can manage, and Sebastian sticks his tongue out at Ciel.

 

_I’m sorry, what?_

 

Ciel blinks a few times at Sebastian in confusion, but then Elizabeth is retracting herself from Ciel so he puts back on his comfort face.

 

“Thanks for not hating me,” she mutters.

 

Ciel has to chuckle at that. “Like I said, you’d have to murder Tanaka or something to make me hate you.”

 

Elizabeth laughs softly.

 

“So,” Sebastian begins. “Can I ask why you are here?”

 

Elizabeth turns to Sebastian and answers, “Aunt Angelina called and told me that I should spend the day with Ciel, so I came.”

 

Ciel makes a mental note to kill Red later.

 

“She didn’t say why?” Sebastian asks.

 

Elizabeth shakes her head.

 

Ciel sighs. Red probably had something to do with this, but Ciel will forgive her in a moment. Let him burn in anger for a few seconds.

 

Elizabeth socializes with Ciel for the rest of the day - and Red is nowhere to be seen and Sebastian can’t leave him to go find her because Sebastian has or become some _dog_ who keeps following him around. Ciel suspects that Red is using Elizabeth to distract him and this is one of the few times he hopes he's wrong.

 

The day eventually ends, and Elizabeth goes home and Ciel wants nothing more but to simply _sleep_. Sebastian slept with him last night - as in the whole ‘Sebastian stayed in the same room as Ciel and nothing more’ way - and so Ciel knows that Sebastian won’t leave Ciel be this time. Red’s still missing, which is honestly starting to get suspicious, so Ciel forces himself to stay up a little more.

 

Sebastian and him stay downstairs and discuss a few methods of drawing Spears our - all which probably won’t work but hey they’re working on it - and eventually Red comes back with heavy breathes and a wicked grin.

 

“Madam Red?” Ciel asks. “Where were you?”

 

Red laughs airily and puts her hands on her hips. “I was interrogating the Undertaker and wrangling information out of him! I usually can give him payment quite easily, but it feels like his standards of risen! He kept mentioning Sebastian as well, so I’m definitely interrogating you later, sweets.”

 

“Did she just call me ‘sweets?’” Sebastian murmurs into Ciel’s ear.

 

“She’s a crazy woman on a normal day, don’t even try to apply logic when she’s spent all of it with Undertaker,” Ciel mutters with his arms crossed and a pout on his lips.

 

Sebastian’s eyes linger gently on said lips, and Ciel feels his gaze on him.

 

“What are you looking at?” Ciel demands softly.

 

Sebastian snaps his eyes back up to Ciel’s, and he shakes his head. “Nothing, my lord.”

 

Ciel rolls his eyes and chooses to ignore it for the moment. He’ll have plenty of opportunities to ask Sebastian about it later.

 

“Did you manage to get anything out of Undertaker?” Ciel asks as Red finally takes off her boots and coat and other lady fashion… things. Don’t ask Ciel how that shit works.

 

She nods. “After hours of pain and suffering, I got a way to get in contact with Spears.”

 

Ciel raises a brow. Maybe he’ll consider forgiving her for all of the drama she’s thrust into his life if she gives him something good. “And?”

 

This is where Madam Red pouts a bit. “And he won’t tell me how he’s going to do it. But he says that tomorrow night, the Reapers will be attacking the manor.”

 

“What?” Ciel shouts. “Why the fuck would they come here?”

 

“For you,” Sebastian says quietly.

 

Ciel scowls at him. “I figured that, but why _here?_ ”

 

Red cocks her head a bit but Sebastian seems to understand Ciel’s confusing English. “They’d make a direct attack on you if they’re feeling cocky or it they’d be willing to sacrifice a lot,” Sebastian says. “They probably got a new inspiration or something.”

 

Ciel sighs and nods. “So we need to be ready to give them the proper Phantomhive hospitality.”

 

Red shakes her head quickly. “No, actually. Undertaker wants you to leave the manor with Sebastian for at least the night of the attack.”

 

“Why?” Ciel asks, feeling really tired of all these vague ideas and plans. “Why the fuck do I have to leave my territory and hide like some coward?”

 

Red shrugs. “Undertaker said that he’d use tomorrow night to make a deal with Spears and therefore arrange a civilized meeting between the two of you.”

 

Ciel scoffs. “A civilized meeting with a psychopath. Arranged by a psychopath. That’ll be great.”

 

Red sighs and looks disappointedly at Ciel. “Can you try to cooperate and not hate every idea that isn’t yours?”

 

Ciel glares at her. “I’ll do it, but it doesn’t mean that I’ll like it.”

 

Red nods. “I can live with that.”

 

“Now, can I go to bed now? I’ve been waiting for you all day and Elizabeth wasn’t that good of a distraction for your absence.”

 

She smiles cheekily. “It worked for a bit, though.”

 

“Eh, not really.”

 

Sebastian chuckles softly from behind Ciel and he has to try not to glow in pride. Ciel is like stupid school girl at times and he’s not entirely enjoying the feeling.

 

“Sebastian, book a hotel for tomorrow night,” Ciel mutters.

 

“Already done,” Red says cheerfully. “I’ll give you the address and details tomorrow. Go to sleep first.”

 

Ciel decides to agree with her and retires for the night.

 

Ciel and Sebastian take turns showering and changing in the bathroom, and while Ciel is tempted to take the longest shower known to mankind, he decides to have mercy on Sebastian and take a shower of a reasonable length and then change quickly.

 

Sebastian showers in a reasonable amount of time as well, but Ciel hates it when he finally steps out of the bathroom. He has a loose shirt and sweatpants on, his hair’s a disaster and there’s the aura of… casual perfection hanging about him. It doesn’t help that Sebastian’s shirt is a bit damp and clinging onto his chest.

 

Ciel groans and shoves his face into the pillow. He’s such a hopeless gay for this man. This is night two with Sebastian and already Ciel is beginning to lose his mind. He wants nothing more than to get out of bed and touch Sebastian and hold him and kiss him and feel things and Ciel just _wants._ He wants Sebastian.

 

_I wonder how long my resolve will last._

 

Ciel sleeps on his very large and fluffy bed that could definitely fit the two of them, and Sebastian sleeps on the also very fluffy couch in Ciel’s room. Ciel at first told Sebastian that he could sleep on the couch while Sebastian took the bed, but Sebastian of course of the image of perfection and said no.

 

Sebastian took the couch and Ciel took the bed, and even though they had a good ten feet between them, Ciel felt the electricity sparking between them. The desire. He knows he wants Sebastian, and he’s pretty sure that Sebastian feels the same way.

 

_“I am going to do this the right way. I won’t lose you.”_

 

Sebastian won’t lose Ciel. Ciel may run and run from this feeling in his chest but Sebastian will chase him. Sebastian will stay with him forever and banish the feelings of fear in his heart.

 

~~~

 

Red books them a nice hotel in the middle of London -  a busier part of the city, Ciel dully notices - and shoos them off to the hotel as quickly as possible. Sebastian drives them, and the silence is deafening. Ciel wanted to stay at the mansion, as a base, a safeguard, for familiar territory, but Red had to talk to undertaker and make them go out.

 

_“The Reapers know where you live and are coming for you. We are not taking any unnecessary risks. Undertaker will take care of the situation here and you’ll be protected by Sebastian. The hotel is run by Grell’s cousin, so you’ll be safe.”_

 

Ciel scoffs. _Safe_ . _I thought Red believed I would be safe as long as I had Sebastian with me. But no, she had to take extra precautions._

 

They arrive at the hotel, eventually, and Ciel insists on carrying his own luggage. He hates feeling helpless, and Sebastian being the perfect butler isn’t helping. Sebastian lets him, thankfully, and Ciel praises about five different gods for allowing his suitcase to have wheels. It’s already heavy as fuck, because _someone_ had to pack far too many ‘emergency situation back-ups.’

 

The lady at the front desk is all smiles when Sebastian checks in, and Ciel rolls his eyes at the girl’s blush. She gives Sebastian all these innocent but suggestive looks, and Ciel is tempted to make gagging sounds. They get the key after a million different _hint-hint I like you’s_ and the elevator ride is also silent. Sebastian presses the button for the highest level, and Ciel smiles at the idea of a penthouse room. That would be nice.

 

Sebastian opens the door to their room - Ciel assumes that Red would never let Sebastian sleep in a different room if she’s ‘trying to protect her precious nephew’ - and Ciel drags his suitcase in, leaving it in the ‘hall’ of the room before going to check out the room.

 

There’s a large, fluffy, usual hotel bed in the middle of the main room, a small kitchenette, and another door. Ciel opens the door to find the bathroom - it has a _really_ big bath and Ciel mentally prepares excuses to hide in the bathroom for a hella long bath - and then turns to the rest of the room.

 

Where’s the second room? Or at least second _bed_.

 

Ciel looks around in the surprisingly small room, and the only thing he finds is the balcony and some closets. He checks the couch to see if there’s a folding bed hidden somewhere, but they’re all fluffy and useless to Ciel. They aren’t even big enough for any human being to properly sleep on.

 

“Where's the second bed, Sebastian?” Ciel says slowly.

 

Sebastian is silent for a moment, and when Ciel turns to him for answers, he sees Sebastian’s eyebrows furrowed in concentration but a small smirk growing on his lips.

 

Oh hell no.

 

No. Just no.

 

“Sebastian, answer me,” Ciel says lowly.

 

“It doesn’t look like there is another bed,” Sebastian says carefully.

 

Ciel puffs out a half-hearted laugh. “Go down to reception, or call reception, and tell them to change our room.”

 

When Sebastian makes no motion to do so, Ciel spits out, “ _Now_ , Sebastian.”

 

Sebastian springs to life and walks briskly over to the phone next to the bed, pressing a couple buttons before holding the phone up to his ear. He has a murmured conversation with who Ciel hopes to be reception, and then gently ends the call with a small, ‘thank you very much.’

 

“Well?” Ciel says.

 

Sebastian turns to Ciel with a tired expression and says, “They’re afraid that this is the only room available at the moment.”

 

It takes Ciel a few moments to register the words. “The only room?”

 

Sebastian nods.

 

‘The only room in this entire hotel? In this giant ass hotel?!” Ciel shout.

 

Sebastian rolls his eyes but answers, “Yes.”

 

Ciel laughs. Loudly. The laughter echoes through the room and it sounds psychopathic. He doubles over and clutches at his stomach and laughs until his lungs give out.

 

“One bed,” he whispers. “Of course. One bed, the only available room, Madam Red booking the place.” He sighs and looks up to the ceiling. “Of course the universe has to do this to me.”

 

He looks at the bed and then to Sebastian. “I’m sleeping in the bathtub.”

 

Sebastian facepalms and looks to Ciel from behind his hands. “Ciel, it’s not that big of a deal. The bed is more than large enough for the two of us.”

 

“Touché, but it’s not going to happen,” Ciel says. “There is no way in hell that I am sleeping in the same bed as you.”

 

Sebastian looks at Ciel with a tired expression and sighs. “Ciel, if our feet touch it won’t lead to sex, so can you please be a little more mature about this?”

 

Ciel laughs shortly. “Well, according to everyone, I’m still a child, so no, I won’t be more mature about this.”

 

“We have been together in a far more intimate matter before, and now a king sized bed is your limit?” Sebastian points out.

 

Ciel’s face explodes in red at Sebastian’s comment. “We don’t talk about that.”

 

Sebastian raises a brow at that. “Why not? It’s not like you didn’t want to come see me there.”

 

Ciel glares at Sebastian. “That was before all of this!”

 

“Oh?” Sebastian begins walking over to Ciel and looks down at him with amused eyes. “Before all of what?”

 

Ciel looks away from Sebastian and tries to walk backwards to gain some persona space. “Claude. Alois. The Reapers. Archangel. Butler stuff.”

 

“So eloquent, my lord,” Sebastian murmurs, stepping closer to Ciel again.

 

“Fuck off,” Ciel snaps.

 

“It’s just a bed, Ciel. I won’t touch you,” Sebastian promises, and Ciel refuses to meet his gaze. He slowly backs away, but Sebastian suddenly latches onto Ciel’s wrist and stops him from escaping any further.

 

“You’re touching me,” Ciel mutters, still not looking at Sebastian.

 

Sebastian chuckles. “No, actually, I’m not. Our skin isn’t touching.”

 

Ciel shoots Sebastian a dirty look. “Look who’s being childish now.”

 

Sebastian smiles at Ciel, and he feels the blood rushing to his face again.

 

_Damn Sebastian. Damn him for being so annoying and childish and selfish and painfully logical and tall and beautiful and seductive and all of it._

 

“Let’s just sleep here for tonight, and then if we have to stay away from the mansion any longer, we’ll change hotels,” Sebastian says. “Sound reasonable?”

 

Ciel refuses to answer or look at Sebastian.

 

His suggestion is perfectly reasonable, and Ciel believes every word that comes out Sebastian's mouth. Sebastian won’t touch Ciel, but what Ciel is worried about is that Sebastian won’t have to. Sebastian - this idiot who came barging into Ciel’s life wearing stripper boots and a stupid smirk - has something that Ciel cannot ignore. He’s not just sexy and pretty and smart and a clean freak, but he has the look in his eyes that Ciel cannot ignore. A look of adoration, but not the kind of adoration Elizabeth gives him. This look is coated in hellfire. Ciel scoffs quietly. Sebastian looks to him as if he wants every part of Ciel, and Ciel is finding it harder and harder to hate that. Why should he hate that? Why can’t he let himself go with Sebastian? It used to be Claude stopping him, but that obstacle is gone now. Claude is off banging Alois. Sebastian is here with Ciel.

 

Ciel is scared by how much control he’s willing to throw away if it means being able to have Sebastian.

 

“Fine,” he grits out. He can survive one night. “But only for this night.”

 

Sebastian nods and smiles at Ciel. “One night.”

 

They change separately in the bathroom, and then comes the moment they’ve been waiting for. Ciel stares at Sebastian from one side of the bed, and Sebastian does not hesitate to crawl into bed, tugging out the blankets that were so carefully tucked under the mattress. Ciel doesn’t move, but just stares at Sebastian.

 

 _Grow up, Ciel!_ He thinks angrily. _It’s just sleeping and nothing more. The bed is big enough for the both of you and surely you can be mature enough to not attack Sebastian or have wet dreams tonight._

 

He gingerly slides under the covers and he lays on the far left side of the bed. As far away from Sebastian as possible.

 

They lay there in silence for a while, and the silence is deafening. Neither of them move much, and Ciel is scared to even breathe. Sebastian’s warmth seems to radiate off of him and Ciel is hyperly aware of exactly how far away Sebastian is and how easy it is to simply turn over, reach out and then touch him. Too close and yet too far away.

 

Ciel hates feeling like some cheesy and stupid schoolgirl, as he’s sure he’s mentioned to himself a million times, but he can’t stop it. He likes Sebastian. A lot. And nothing he does seems to stop his feelings and Sebastian doesn’t seem to try to stop him either.

 

“Ciel, I can hear you thinking from over here,” Sebastian murmurs, and Ciel turns in bed frantically and stares at Sebastian.

 

“What?”

 

Sebastian rolls his eyes and turns his head to Ciel. His hands are folded over his stomach and he looks like the marble carvings they make for the dead. “Is the bed honestly troubling you this much?”

 

Ciel knows he’s blushing at Sebastian’s comment. “It’s nothing, Sebastian. Can’t I just think a bit before bed?”

 

Sebastian scoffs. “You seem a little stressed out about whatever it is you’re thinking about, my lord.”

 

“Why do you keep calling me that?” Ciel blurts out, instantly regretting it. _Don’t be an idiot and ask stupid questions. It’s what Tanaka calls you, so surely Sebastian, your new butler, can call you the same thing!_

 

Sebastian shrugs. “Is it wrong to call you that?”

 

“It’s the twenty first century, Sebastian,” Ciel points out. “No one calls anyone their ‘lord’ anymore, people don’t even have butlers anymore.”

 

“And yet here I am,” Sebastian sighs. “And I don’t mind calling you my lord. It seems fitting and almost… natural.”

 

“That’s the only reason why you call me that?”

 

Sebastian purses his lips. “Well, Mr Tanaka calls you that, and so I just followed suit. There is also another reason, but I think I’ll spare you the embarrassment.”

 

Ciel scoffs even if he knows _exactly_ what Sebastian is referring to. “I think I can handle it,” he says softly. Ciel mentally slaps himself but it’s too late now.

 

Sebastian turns fully towards Ciel, his movements making the bed bounce a little. “Are you certain, my lord?” He drawls.

 

Ciel knows that this is a death sentence but his pride gets in the way of him. “Yes.”

 

Sebastian grins and scoots a little closer to Ciel. “I never took you for one to have a thing for power play.”

 

The blood rushes to Ciel’s face and he knows where this is going but he doesn’t stop. “Who says I do?”

 

Sebastian sits up and places a hand next to Ciel’s head, looming over him. While he doesn’t touch Ciel, but the air between their skin is electric. “You like being in control, but I suspect that you also like losing some of it. Letting yourself go and simply…” Sebastian leans down and lets his breath waft over Ciel. “... submitting, for once.”

 

 _Holy fuck that’s hot,_ is the first thing that goes through Ciel’s mind and he nearly screams because of it. Why is Sebastian being like this? Oh, maybe because Ciel thought he could handle whatever lewd things Sebastian would suggest but apparently not. “And yet you call me your master,” Ciel whispers.

 

Sebastian chuckles. “It’s because it’s fitting. You have become the puppet master of my soul, Ciel. I broke up with Claude because of you. I quit my job at the club for you. I’m happy because of you.”

 

Ciel’s brain can’t properly comprehend the words that are coming out of Sebastian’s mouth.

 

“And for the first time in such a long time, Ciel, I’ve felt the fire I thought I’d never feel again,” Sebastian whispers, and Ciel’s eyes widen at that. _Fire. Does Sebastian feel the same fire I’m feeling?_

 

“Why?” Ciel murmurs. “Why me?”

 

Sebastian smiles fondly. “Because you are beautiful and loyal and strong and different. You aren’t some simple little bratty child with too much money; you’re a soldier who won’t stop even if you’ve broken. I admire that in you. I admire that will and that strength. And there’s something about you that sends me aflame, and I’m not sure what it is. But does it matter? I just know that the way you look at me is beautiful.”

 

So… plainly put. There was no hesitation or beating around the bush. The simple truth of Sebastian’s desire and nothing more.

 

“And I want to belong to you,” Sebastian murmurs. “You keep me alive and burning at the same time.”

 

 _You keep me alive and burning as well,_ Ciel thinks softly. _You burn me in the most beautiful way and I want you._

 

“What do you want from me?” Ciel murmurs. People always want something from him, so what is it that Sebastian wants? Power? Sex?

 

“Everything,” Sebastian murmurs. “I want every bit of your soul and I want it so much. I won’t shy around the truth, Ciel. I want you.”

 

_I want you, too._

 

“Do you want me?” Sebastian whispers.

 

Why is Sebastian being so bold? He used to do nothing but be professional with Ciel, but now it seems like he’s abandoned every ounce of control her once had. Okay, maybe not _every_ ounce of control but at least a great deal of it. Never would Ciel imagine Sebastian confessing like this to him. So open and shamelessly. So perfectly.

 

Ciel wants to say yes. He wants throw himself at Sebastian and claim that fire as his own but he’s not sure if he should. Giving everything to someone is dangerous, an Ciel isn’t sure if he wants to do that. Would a relationship between the two of them even work? Would they be a good couple and do everything a couple would usually do? Go out and watch movies? Date nights? Intense sex?

 

Ciel shudders slightly at the images that come to mind and Sebastian notices the moment.

 

“Do you have an answer?” Sebastian asks.

 

Ciel opens and closes his mouth like a fish, and he’s not sure how to reply. He wants Sebastian but he shouldn’t. He shouldn’t give into this lust. This simple and base desire that is consuming Ciel’s soul. Ciel shouldn’t want this.

 

“I want you,” Ciel admits softly. “But I can’t want you.”

 

Sebastian answers without hesitation. “Why? Why can’t you want me?”

 

Ciel sputters at that. “You’re my butler!”

 

“And bodyguard,” Sebastian points out. “And soldier. And assistant. And stripper.”

 

Ciel blushes intensely at the images of Sebastian on a pole.

 

“But why should any of that stop you?”

 

“It’s not proper,” Ciel mutters.

 

Sebastian raises a brow. “Not proper? Ciel, nothing is proper nowadays. Men have sex with men, women have sex with women, men have sex with women, and everyone is judged for what they do. Why should you, the Phantomhive Earl, care? You’re above them.”

 

Ciel turns his head away and refuses to meet Sebastian’s eyes. “I can’t want you. I’m supposed to be alone in life. That is the Phantomhive’s curse. To carry the weight of the world and to bear it alone.” Ciel’s eyes soften and the image of his father comes to mind. “And we burn for it.”

 

Sebastian looks at him intently and Cole can feel his gaze burning into the side of his head.

 

“Then break free.”

 

Ciel turns his head back to Sebastian. “What?”

 

“Break free of the curse,” Sebastian says. “Don’t carry it alone. Let someone burn with you.”

 

Ciel has nothing to say in reply.

 

“Let _me_ burn with you.”

 

“What?” Ciel chokes out.

 

Sebastian’s gaze smolders into something deeper and less lustful and he brushes a strand of Ciel’s hair away from his face. “Let me burn with you.”

 

Ciel shakes his head. “I can’t.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“I can’t lose you,” Ciel whispers, clutching his hands into fists. “I won’t let you burn for me.”

 

“No,” Sebastian says. “With you, not for you. With you. You will burn, and I don’t think anyone can stop the fire that is coming for you. But let me suffer with you and bind myself to you. Let me become yours.”

 

Ciel’s single blue eye carves a hole into Sebastian’s soul. “Mine?”

 

Sebastian nods and presses his forehead to Ciel’s. “Yours. Only yours.”

 

Ciel scoffs. “I can’t have you.”

 

“Yes you can,” Sebastian mutters. “I am already yours so just take me. Mark me and bind me to you. Claim me. Make this hellish creature inside me yours.”

 

Ciel looks up to Sebastian’s deep ruby eyes. He wants to say yes so badly. This is so stupid and probably just because he’s a hopeless little gay virgin but he wants Sebastian. He wants him. “Then become mine,” he whispers, his voice barely audible. “Become my demon.”

 

Sebastian chuckles at Ciel’s choice of words. “Am I a demon to you?”

 

Ciel shakes his head. “Not to me. But to the world I’m pretty sure you’re ruthless. To the Reapers you are a demon. But you’re mine.” Ciel feels confidence growing in him and he smiles. “You’re mine.”

 

Sebastian smiles in relief and leans even closer to Ciel, his arms supporting his weight as he hovers over Ciel. “And you’re mine.”

 

Their eyes lock on each other’s lips and Ciel can’t stop thinking about what it would feel like to kiss Sebastian. To give everything he has to him.

 

“Can I kiss you?” Ciel asks softly.

 

Sebastian looks at Ciel with something close enough to love. “Are you sure?”

 

Ciel nods and touches Sebastian’s face gently. “I want this. I want you.”

 

Sebastian nods and slowly leans in, and Ciel’s breath is gone even when their lips haven’t touched yet. Sebastian’s hands cradle Ciel’s head and the atmosphere quickly turns sweet. Their eyes meet for a second - a sweet, electric second - and then Sebastian kisses him.

 

It doesn’t feel that special at first. Lips pressed against lips, and neither of them move. Sebastian leans back a bit and then presses his lips against Ciel’s with more force, lips moving the slightly, as if they wanted to become acquainted with Ciel’s. Sebastian’s hands trace and frame Ciel’s face and Ciel is hyperly aware of every part of him that touches Sebastian and every bit of warmth that embraces them. Their noses are pressed on either side of each other; Sebastian’s hands are on Ciel’s cheeks; Ciel’s own hands are on Sebastian’s waist (when did they move there?); and their lips are pressed firmly against each other.

 

It should feel awkward, but it doesn’t. Nothing about this moment is wrong and Ciel loves everything about it. He loves this warmth.

 

Sebastian drags Ciel into a sitting position so he’s basically straddling Sebastian, and then their hands are threading into each other’s hair. Ciel moves his lips experimentally - not opening his mouth but not just pressing his lips against Sebastian - and Sebastian responds in kind. He pulls Ciel flush against his chest and kisses him sweetly, oh so sweetly, and Ciel melts in Sebastian’s arms.

 

This is what a first kiss should feel like. This is what Ciel should have had.

 

The kiss soon turns deeper - yes there was tongue and Ciel nearly fainted when Sebastian started opening his mouth to Ciel - and Ciel can’t get enough. Their hands start to move, to wander across their bodies in curiosity, and Sebastian seems hellbent on figuring out every aspect of Ciel’s body. Where the muscles rise and fall; where the ribs bump up and down; where Ciel’s spine dips into his tailbone; where his hair meets his nape; where his lips become his mouth; all of it is discovered by Sebastian and marked by him. And Ciel lets Sebastian mark him. He is being drowned in this man’s touches and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He knows what it feels like to be touched by the cold, dead hands of a monster, and Sebastian isn’t that. Sebastian is safe. Sebastian is fire.

 

The kisses turn into nothing more than kisses and curious touches - despite Ciel’s complaints and very suggestive moans - and soon enough they’re lying back in bed and letting the dreams come to them.

 

“Will you always be mine?” Ciel asks before sleep takes them.

 

Sebastian’s arms tighten around Ciel. “Always.”

 

~~~

 

Madam Red calls them the next morning with good news.

 

 _“Undertaker has arranged a meeting!”_ She shouts into the phone and Ciel holds the phone away from his delicate ears. Sebastian is currently wrapped around Ciel like some overgrown puppy - not that Ciel is complaining about it - and eyeing the phone suspiciously, but when he realizes that it’s Red he chuckles.

 

“With Spears?” Ciel grumbles into the phone once Red’s squealing has ceased.

 

_“Yes! You guys can come back to the manor, apparently Spears is still here. Or is coming back later. I’m not sure, Undertaker won’t tell me anything.”_

 

“We’ll be there around noon,” Ciel says, and Red chuckles.

 

_“So soon? Surely you two could appreciate the king sized bed and privacy for a little longer?”_

 

Ciel growls into the phone. “You _planned_ this, didn’t you?!”

 

Red laughs. _“I hoped you guys used protect-”_

 

“We didn’t fuck!” Ciel snaps and Sebastian chuckles around him. “We slept in the same bed but that was _it._ ”

 

_“Did you guys at least kiss?”_

 

“Red!” Ciel shouts, a blush crawling over his face. “You do not need to know this things!”

 

_“Give the phone to Sebastian.”_

 

Ciel is tempted to deny her, but he repents and hands the phone to Sebastian.

 

“Don’t tell her _anything_ ,” Ciel hisses and Sebastian kisses his forehead in reply.

 

_You cheesy overgrown jackass._

 

Ciel heard some distant questions over the phone, and Sebastian only replies ‘yes’ or ‘no’ or ‘maybe.’ Ciel has no idea what any of the questions were and he’s not actually sure if he wants to know. The phone call eventually ends, and Sebastian hands the phone back to him once he hung up.

 

“What did she say?” Ciel asks.

 

Sebastian shrugs. “The usual questions you’d expect from an invasive aunt.”

 

Ciel groans and throws himself into the pillows. Madam Red is a blessing and a curse to his life.

 

Sebastian chuckles. “Don’t be so dramatic, it’s not that bad. She didn’t ask about sex, so that’s good.”

 

Ciel only groans louder into the pillows.

 

He feels Sebastian’s weight drop next to him on the bed and soon an arm is snaking around his waist. “She did ask about what our relationship is now, though.”

 

Ciel tenses at this.

 

“And I think that’s something we need to talk about.”

 

Fuck Ciel and his life. “Do we need to put a label on it?”

 

Sebastian chuckles. “Maybe not. But we need an answer for Red.”

 

“Why~”

 

“Because,” Sebastian whispers into Ciel’s ear. “She won’t rest until she has an answer and it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

 

Ciel hates to agree with that, but he does. “So what are we?”

 

He feels Sebastian shrug. “I’m you butler, soldier, assistant, business partner, stripper, and I’ve kissed you. So I’m not sure what the overlying definition is.”

 

Ciel sits up and looks at Sebastian. “What do you want this to be?” He asks softly.

 

Sebastian touches Ciel’s eyepatch gingerly. “Everything.”

 

Ciel snorts. “That’s pretty vague and impractical, Sebastian.”

 

Sebastian chuckles and nods. “You have a point.”

 

Ciel touches the side of Sebastian’s face and smiles. “But I agree. I want this to be everything.”

 

Sebastian smirks that trademark smirk that is stealing Ciel’s gay ass soul. “Then let’s be everything.”

 

After a good ten minutes of intense kisses and dark promises that Ciel will _never ever_ ** _ever_** speak of ever again (outside of the bedroom), their bags are packed and they’re checking out of the hotel. It’s a guy instead of the flirtatious slut from last time, but even he falls under Sebastian aura of perfection. They still manage to check out without any massive love confessions - even if Sebastian presses a loving kiss to the top of Ciel’s head at one point and effectively shuts up the guy at the desk - and then they’re on their way back to the mansion.

 

The mansion seems to be in one piece when they arrive, and it’s quiet when Sebastian unlocks the front door. Eerily so.

 

“Is anyone here?” Ciel asks quietly.

 

Sebastian eyes the place suspiciously as they slowly walk in. He offers his hand to Ciel - who sputters and blushes and nearly screams at this - and Ciel takes it. Sebastian leads them into the well lit mansion and Ciel does his best to try to seem like he’s not the one being protected right now. He’s just holding his live interest’s hand while checking that his home isn’t filled with assassins. Normal stuff.

 

“My sweet Bassy!!!!” A voice shrieks from above and Ciel is very confused and surprised to see Grell running down the stairs and towards them.

 

“Grell?” Ciel explains before Sebastian and him get an armful of red.

 

Grell leans back and smiles widely at the pair. “I assume that you two finally got your gay heads out of your gay asses and confessed your undying love to each other?”

 

Ciel makes a sound similar to a dying fish while Sebastian rolls his eyes.

 

“Grell!” Another voice shouts, and this one is colder.

 

A tall man stands at the top of the staircase and he looks straighter than a ruler. Dark brown hair is nearly swept to one side and a matching brown suit dons him. Rectangular glasses perch on the bridge if this straight nose and piercing green eyes glare out from behind. He has a walking stick in his hand, but to Ciel it looks similar to a potential weapon.

 

Grell sticks his tongue out the man. “I do what I want, grumpy.”

 

‘Grumpy’ rolls his eyes and begins walking down the stairs. “Please forgive him, I don’t even know why I keep him around.”

 

Grell gasps loudly and puts a hand against his chest. “You know _exactly_ why you keep me around!”

 

The man does nothing to respond to Grell and merely looks blankly at the trio once he reaches the bottom of the stairs.

 

“Who are you?” Ciel asks.

 

The man raises a brow at Ciel and looks at him with a cold and calculating stare. “My name is William T. Spears. I am the current leader of the group you people like to call ‘the Reapers.’”

 

Ciel is shocked by the simplicity and bluntness of the man’s statement, but he smiles slightly. The Undertaker really did it. A meeting with the Spear. Kinda makes sense why they call him ‘the Spear,’ now. His name is literally Spears. Ciel extends his hand to Spears. “I am Ciel Phantomhive, the Earl of house Phantomhive.”

 

“Yes, yes, I know who you are,” William dully remarks, staring at Ciel’s hand and not even considering to shake it. “Every Reaper does.”

 

Grell sighs from Sebastian’s side. “You’re such a killjoy.”

 

William scoffs and gives Grell the bitch face. “No need to point out the obvious, Grell,” he mutters under his breath as he pushes up his glasses.

 

“Why are you here?” Ciel asks. Why show your face now?

 

William looks to Ciel with a judging sneer. “An old friend gave me a call, and I answered.”

 

“Vague,” Sebastian murmurs to Ciel, and he agrees. Far too vague for his liking.

 

“Young Earl!” Yet _another_ voice calls from the top of the stairs. The Undertaker stands there and waves like some little kid, and the only thing visible on his face is the psychopathic grin.

 

Spears looks to Undertaker and something in his gaze softens.

 

“I see that you’ve met my apprentice,” Undertaker says cheerily as he hops down the stairs. “He’s been awfully dramatic and I do hope you forgive him…”

 

“Apprentice?” Ciel points out. “This man is your _apprentice?_ ”

 

Undertaker shrugs with a cackle. “I was like a father to him.”

 

Spears bristles and glares at Undertaker. “Can we please discuss this in a more… proper manner? Let’s not be hasty with what we reveal.”

 

Grell nods and Undertaker sighs.

 

“Fine, be that way,” Undertaker drawls sadly. “Mr. Michaelis, do be so kind to lead us to a more fashionable part of the mansion.”

 

Sebastian nods and puts a discrete arm around Ciel’s waste. The pressure of his hand on Ciel’s lower back makes Ciel tense, but then Sebastian is guiding him to the living room. “This way, please.”

 

Madam Red shows up on the top of the stairs - another person in this lovely get together - and doesn't say much. They all settle somewhat comfortably into the Phantomhive couches, and Ciel half expects for Grell to sit next to Sebastian, but he doesn’t. Instead, he firmly sits next to Spears and then curls up against him. What the hell? Is Grell just flirtatious with everyone or are he and Spears… in a relationship?

 

“So,” Undertaker says cheerfully. “Where shall we begin?”

 

“Let’s start with this,” Ciel says with a raised hand. “Why the fuck were your men trying to kill me?”


	14. One Hell of a Legacy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLOT AND THE DRAMATIC REVEAL, BITCHES. okay it’s not that much of a dramatic reveal ya’ll knew it was coming to this but we all want clarification anyways. Even if my writing probably doesn’t properly clarify what the diddly do is going on.
> 
> Warnings: ciel’s backstory is hella dark, but if you’ve seen the show you’re probably cool with it. But, I’m still warning you guys, just in case. Bc I’m a nice person.
> 
> ANYWAYS, enjoy my lovely readers ya’ll seriously make my day when you comment and read and stuuuuff.

Okay so maybe yelling out at William T. Spears ‘Why the fuck were your men trying to kill me’ wasn’t the best idea.

 

Undertaker laughs - as he always does -; Spears freezes on the spot and eyes Ciel very carefully; Grell tenses around Spears and nearly hisses - yes as in what cats do he  _ hisses _ \- at Ciel; Madam Red frowns in disapproval of Ciel’s language; and Sebastian goes into ‘protect the pretty bluenette’ mode.

 

Once Spears has lowered his eyebrow and calmed his judging glare, he pushes up his glasses and rests his forearms on his knees. 

 

“Mr. Phantomhive, while it pains me to say this, there was a mistake,” he says lowly.

 

Grell looks kindly at Spears and rests his head on his shoulder, cuddling with Spears. That’s an odd image right there.

 

“Mistake doesn’t cover half of what you did,” Undertaker sings, and Spears shoots him a glare.

 

“I was under the impression that your father killed my tutor, and that you were striving to continue Vincent’s work,” Spears says carefully to Ciel while still staring at Undertaker. 

 

_ Did he say tutor? As in… mentor? Is Undertaker his tutor? It seems like something he would do, fake his death for shits and giggles. But, it’s still unlikely. Undertaker is the underworld god, everyone knows about him. Surely Spears isn’t that stupid.  _ “I was striving to continue my father’s work,” Ciel says, leaning back in his seat and noticing that he’s now resting on Sebastian’s arm, which was apparently draped behind Ciel. He ignores it and continues, “And that work was to continue carrying out the will of the Queen.”

 

Sebastian and Red nod in agreement.

 

Undertaker chuckles and rests his chin on his hands like some silly girl, leaning in as if this was the best soap opera he’s ever seen.

 

“I was under the impression that your father was trying to do something different from simply following the Queen’s orders,” Spears murmurs. 

 

When Spears doesn’t elaborate any further, Ciel asks, “And what exactly might that be...?”

 

“To kill off the Reapers,” Grell says after Spears remains silent for a few more moments. “We thought that Vincent had something against us.”

 

“We?” Sebastian murmurs into Ciel’s ear. “I didn’t know Grell was involved with them.”

 

Ciel nods. “I know,” he murmurs back. Sebastian would tell him if he knew that Grell was somehow involved in this. Sebastian is loyal to him. “Care to explain a little more?” He says to Grell and Spears.

 

Undertaker laughs loudly. “Yes, please do continue, my little spear.”

 

Spears glares at Undertaker - so they definitely know each other or Spears is just an arsehole - and takes a breath. “Vincent Phantomhive was a close friend of my tutor, Adrian Crevan. They often carried out missions together and Adrian was his main informant. However, one day Adrian stopped visiting Vincent. Grell and I thought that they just got into some sort of domestic argument.”

 

Grell nods next to Spears and holds his hand tightly. “Then Adrian started hiding away in the underground more often, and he came back smelling like sex and drugs and blood,” Grell murmurs.

 

So this guy knew Ciel’s father? He seems to fit Undertaker’s profile, but that’d be one hell of a plot twist. Undertaker was never anything important to Ciel’s father.

 

Spears gives Grell a warning look but Grell ignores it and continues. 

 

“Adrian looked broken, and he looked even more so broken every time he saw Adrian. It was all the symptoms of heartbreak - I began to suspect that it was due to Vincent marrying and Adrian being left behind - but something felt off at the same time. Adrian coming back home with cuts everywhere and this dead look in his eyes wasn’t right.”

 

_ So… my father fucked a guy and that guy got a little too cozy?  _

 

“Then the mansion burnt down,” Spears murmurs.

 

Sebastian’s hand snakes onto Ciel’s shoulder and gives it a reassuring squeeze, and Madam Red looks at him with concern. Oh my lord, Ciel is not some baby! He’s seventeen and he’s gotten over his father’s death! 

 

For the most part.

 

“Adrian didn’t make it back from the fire,” Grell says in an almost accusatory tone. “And we found his charred bones in the prison.”

 

“You guys have a prison?” Sebastian whispers into Ciel’s ear.

 

“Duh,” Ciel whispers back.

 

Sebastian makes an appreciative face and turns back to Spears and Grell.

 

“So why go on a giant rampage against me?” Ciel asks. “The mansion burnt down and Adrian was in it. So what?”

 

“He was in  _ your _ mansion, Ciel,” Sebastian gently reminds him.

 

“I know that,” Ciel snaps and hits Sebastian’s shoulder. “Even if my father might have done something against your mentor, it gives you no right to come after me and innocent people like this.”

 

“That was the emotional aspect of it,” Undertaker drawls. “The flame that would set alight the evidence they found.”

 

Ciel scoffs. This is exactly why Sebastian stresses him out so much. Emotion can get you killed in a position like this. 

 

“What evidence?” Madam Red asks, tilting her chin up and silently judging Grell and Spears. 

 

“Adrian had been supplying Vincent with some very important information,” Spears says. “And when Adrian told us he got a big hit, the next night he was ashes, along with Vincent.”

 

“Still doesn’t give me solid evidence,” Ciel groans, throwing his head back. “I know I’m being childish but you guys are just telling me that your father figure died and my father was somehow connected. They could have been allies who died together, they probably were, for fucks sake.”

 

Sebastian chuckles and rubs his thumb up and down Ciel’s shoulder while Red glares at him for his language.

 

“So, explain. Why the hell would any of this warrant my murder?” Ciel snaps.

 

Ciel sees Madam Red mouth ‘language’ and he gets a bit pissed at that because they’re literally in the middle of discussing the Reapers and his late father.

 

Spears and Grell both sit up a little straighter and look at each other with an understanding look.

 

“Start from the beginning!” Undertaker suggests cheerfully. “That usually does it for the normies.”

 

Grell and Spears give Undertaker synchronized bitch faces. 

 

Undertaker ignores them and continues, “Like with the Reaper origins and all that crap. Reaper origins, then Adrian, then Vincent, then Angela, and then Ciel.”

 

Ciel narrows his eyes. Is he somehow involved in their stories? Well, he is the one they’re trying to murder so he’s obviously somehow connected. Ignore that thought.

 

Madam Red seems to tense at the mention of Angela, however, and she grips her dress a bit. Who’s Angela?

 

“The Reapers are an old race of people who are said to have descended from the Grimm Reaper himself, who fell in love with a human and then had five children,” Spears says slowly. “These five children were stuck in the place between life and death, and they were gifted to see the price of life and the gift of death and the evil touch of man. Their skin was as pale as death and their eyes were as green as life.”

 

“Hence the freaky green eyes,” Ciel notes.

 

Sebastian chuckles beside him and Grell gives him the bitch face.

 

Ciel is tempted to flip Grell off.

 

Spears coughs a little and then moves on. “These children were tasked with the responsibility of keeping life pure, and making sure that no evil was used to hide humans from Death, their father. Their children and their grandchildren after them were tasked with the same thing. This is the origins of our beliefs that human intervention to stop death, when death is the obviously natural course, is evil.”

 

“So you’re telling me that any medicine is evil?” Ciel says.

 

“Obviously not,” Grell snaps. “When life is simply surviving, we believe that death is the proper route. The sacred route.”

 

“People are terrified of death,” Madam Red says. “And your beliefs don’t give you the right to go around killing people.”

 

“There’s a difference between killing and letting go,” Spears murmurs. 

 

Ciel scoffs. “Yeah, but you aren’t Death. You don’t control who lives and who dies.”

 

“Well, Reapers believe that they do,” Undertaker says nonchalantly, picking at his nails. “It was our duty when we were born, and it will be our duty until we die.”

 

Ciel narrows his eyes at the use of ‘our’ and ‘we,’ but he lets it slide for the moment. He’ll let them finish their explanation first.

 

“And that’s the explanation as to why we’re called a ‘terrorist group,’” Spears says, and he even uses actual air quotes. Ciel is tempted to laugh - he really is - but he manages to hold it in. He’ll try to be mature. For now. 

 

“And we wanted to capture you because we wanted to discover the truth about Adrian’s death,” Grell says. “We were never trying to kill you.”

 

Sebastian scoffs.

 

“You got something to say,  _ daemonium? _ ” Spears snaps at Sebastian.

 

Hohoho someone does  _ not  _ like Sebastian. 

 

Sebastian smirks at Spears. “You nearly murdered my precious Guard Dog yesterday, so I’d like to call you out for being a big fat liar.”

 

Spears stares at Sebastian coldly. “Mr. Phantomhive had become too much of a hassle for us, and it was suggested that we get rid of said hassle.”

 

Madam Red looks ready to murder, Sebastian actually  _ snarls _ softly and Ciel shivers at the vibrations his gay ass can feel.  _ Not now, gay thoughts,  _ Ciel groans to himself.  _ Save the fantasies for later. Please. We’re in the middle of an important meeting with the fucking head of the Reapers. _

 

“The Reapers were once a very strong group which aided Vincent Phantomhive with whatever he required of us, but when Vincent killed off Adrian, that ended,” Spears says. “That’s the summary of it. We never wanted to kill Ciel, but he grew a little too annoying for us.”

 

_ My father didn’t kill Adrian you idiot. _

 

“I’d be careful if I were you,” Sebastian says lowly, his grip on Ciel tightening. “I am Ciel’s newly appointed bodyguard, afterall.”

 

Spears doesn’t seem to emotionally respond, but he says, “I’m not scared of some stripper.”

 

“William!” Grell snaps, smacking Spears on the shoulder. “Do  _ not _ insult my best dancer.”

 

“Who quit once Phantomhive got into his pants,” Spears mutters.

 

 _Excuse_ _me? I have never, and my virgin ass means_ never _, gotten into Sebastian’s pants._

 

Spears rolls his eyes. “We wanted to get rid of Ciel since he was a pain in our ass and because he was the son of the man who murdered Adrian.”

 

“Vincent never killed Adrian!” Madam Red snaps. “Not even if Adrian had committed the worst betrayal against Vincent, he’s never harm him.”

 

Ciel looks at Madam Red carefully. How much does she know? 

 

“Why were you so convinced that my father killed Adrian?” Ciel asks. “I see no evidence so far, and I would like some.”

 

Spears says nothing and Grell sighs.

 

“There were letters -  _ private  _ letters - between Adrian and Vincent, and the majority of them were love letters,” Grell says.

 

Ciel narrows his eyes. News flash, his father was apparently gay. Or bi. Or pan. Or demipansexual, you never know.  

 

“And in those letters, Adrian wrote to Vincent something along the lines of ‘you’re going to kill me.’ Not in the joking context. In the literal, while discussing different attacks with the Reapers, sense,” Grell says. “And Vincent wrote back, ‘it’s a risk we have to take.’” Grell scoffs. “The letters were dated after Adrian became depressed, so I wouldn’t be surprised if Vincent meant those words.”

 

“So we wanted to kidnap you to somehow discover the truth about Adrian’s death,” Spears mutters. “Get access to the Phantomhive side of things.”

 

“And then?” Ciel says slowly. “What changed?”

 

Spears opens his mouth to answer, but someone interrupts him first.

 

“Adrian didn’t die!” Undertaker cackles from his seat. “Adrian has been alive and hiding away for quite some time, and when little Willie here nearly did something very stupid, he decided to show his ugly mug again.”

 

Ciel looks at Undertaker and Spears. “So this is all a big misunderstanding?”

 

No one says anything. 

 

“You’re telling me, that one guy got depressed, faked his death, and then his apprentice tried to kill me out of annoyance and not so plausible revenge?” Ciel shouts. “What the everliving fu-”

 

“Language, Ciel,” Madam Red snaps from across the room.

 

Ciel grits his teeth. This is all so fucking stupid and he still doesn't even know why Reapers run around killing people. His dad was gay for this Adrian, his dad died, Adrian went and faked his death, and now this Spears idiot is coming after him for it. What the  _ fuuck _ . Why are people so emotional about these things? 

 

“So, why do you run around killing people?” Ciel asks, throwing his head back and groaning. “You still haven’t answered that question.”

 

Spears seems a little shocked by the question. “Some people aren’t living, they’re barely surviving, so we bless them with the natural alternative.”

 

“And what classifies as ‘not living?’” Ciel asks in a bored tone. He probably should be a little more sensitive to these people, but he honestly doesn’t care. He blames it on ‘being a teenager.’ Let him be bored and dull. Just look at what being emotional got Spears into. 

 

“Anyone who people could kill off through euthanasia,” Grell notes.

 

Ciel sighs. “You’re all fucking psychopaths.”

 

Undertaker chuckles. “That is true.”

 

Ciel lifts his head and looks at Undertaker. “Wait, seriously?”

 

Undertaker nods. “Almost the entire Reaper civilization is consisted of psychopaths.”

 

Ciel makes a little ‘wow’ sound. 

 

“How do you keep them under control?” Sebastian asks.

 

“We all share the same beliefs,” Spears says. “And besides, you don’t need to control psychopaths. They’re quite calm people, just with a few homicidal hobbies.”

 

Ciel laughs shortly. “This is officially the weirdest day of my life.”

 

Spears raises a brow at Ciel. 

 

Ciel gives him a tired smile. Yes, he knows he's being really immature, but he’s in a room full of psychopaths so let him do what he pleases. They literally almost killed him because of a family drama misunderstanding, okay? 

 

“So where’s Adrian now? And who’s Angela?” Sebastian asks.

 

Undertaker smiles wickedly and stands up. “To give you the simple dramatic reveal,” he pushes his hands under his bangs and begins pushing them up his forehead. “Adrian is… me!” 

 

Piercing green eyes flash across the room and a beautiful yet marred face is revealed. A nasty scar runs across his face diagonally, cutting the bridge of his nose and chipping a bit of on of his eyebrows. His face looks kind and maturely seductive - hey, Ciel is gay, he knows a hottie when he sees one - and he is not what Ciel was expecting his pedo-vibes informant to look like. Something less attractive and… older.  The grey hair should make him in his early fifties, at the earliest, but no. This guy looks thirty five, at the  _ most. _

 

The room is silent as Undertaker - forgive me, Mr. Adrian _ ‘once fucked Vincent Phantomhive’s ass’  _ Crevan _ \-  _ looks around the room with a smug look on his face.

 

After a few moments appropriate for a dramatic pause, Ciel groans,  _ “Are you fucking kidding me?!” _

 

Everyone stares at Ciel and Madam Red doesn't even mention the cuss word.

 

“You, the Undertaker and the main supplier of my information and the king of the underworld, are the guy that an entire psychopathic race couldn’t find?” Ciel groans and throws his head back - again - and rests against Sebastian’s arm. “Good job, guys. Real good job.”

 

“Piss off, Ciel,” Grell snaps. 

 

Ciel flips him off and Sebastian is gently pushing Ciel’s offensive hand down, probably due to Madam Red’s glare. 

 

“We are going to have a  _ very _ long conversation about that later,  _ Mr. Crevan, _ ” Ciel says threateningly. “I want details on these letters, your relationship with my father, and why the fuck you faked your death.”

 

“Do you want that information now?” Undertaker drawls.

 

Ciel shakes his head. “I want the letters - either copies or the actual things - and we need to talk about that in more detail later. I want the summary of all this shit first. So, tell me who Angela is. Then I’ll kill your cowardly ass.”

 

Undertaker grins. “Angela Hallows is the real villain in all of this,” he drawls. “And the real murderer amongst mankind.”

 

Sounds dramatic but it tells Ciel nothing. Well, not nothing, but not enough. “Did she kill my father?” Ciel asks quietly. 

 

Adrian’s smile falters and he nods. “She’s the one that burnt down the Phantomhive mansion.”

 

Ciel clenches his hands into small fists before breathing in and out, calming himself.  _ Stay calm stay calm stay calm.  _ “And you knew this all along?”

 

Undertaker says nothing. 

 

Ciel laughs bitterly. “You knew. You knew! You knew all along who killed my parents and you kept quiet? What the fuck would you even-”

 

“Ciel,” Madam Red says lowly. “Stop.”

 

Ciel looks to his aunt. “What do you mean,  _ stop _ ?”

 

She shakes her head and says nothing.

 

“Adrian wasn’t the only one who knew,” Spears says. “Most of Vincent’s old team knew.”

 

Ciel looks between Madam Red and Spears. “What?”

 

Sebastian discretely moves closer to Ciel and presses against his side in a comforting manner.

 

“You knew?” Ciel asks Madam Red, his voice innocent and unbelieving. The voice of a broken and betrayed child.

 

She nods slowly. “I knew.”

 

Ciel shoots right up and stares at her in disbelief. “And you told me  _ nothing.” _

 

It isn’t a question that escapes Ciel’s lips. It’s an accusation. He was left in the dark. Again. Because even though he is the Queen’s Guard Dog, he seems to know the least about everything. His father. The Undertaker. Grell’s loyalties. Sebastian. The Reapers. His own parents’ deaths. 

 

“The Reapers were my father’s allies,” Ciel says softly. “Adrian Crevan, the Undertaker, was my father’s  _ lover _ . This… this Angela is the real murderer of my parents.” He scoffs. “What else is there?”

 

“I thought the Reapers killed them,” he admits. “That was why I was hellbent on catching them and putting all of them in fucking prison. You were going to let me kill people for a crime they never committed. Sure, the committed other crimes, but not the one I wanted to kill them for. The one I couldn’t forgive them for.” 

 

No one says anything. 

 

“I am supposed to lead,” Ciel murmurs. “I am the Guard Dog, not anyone else. Me. I carry my father’s mantel. Not Madam Red, not Undertaker, not even Tanaka, not old uncle Diedrich, no one else. Me.” He balls his hands into fists and looks to Undertaker and Madam Red. “I am not some  _ child _ . I am capable of leading my soldiers and I am capable of handling the truth. The damned truth.”

 

Sebastian touches Ciel’s wrist softly, and the touch grounds Ciel. 

 

“You’ve all betrayed me,” Ciel spits. There it is, simply put. They deceived him and let him go on a wild goose chase all for nothing. “Leave. We’ll finish this tomorrow, I need some time to think.”

 

No one moves.

 

“I said  _ leave _ ,” he spits. “Tomorrow at 12:30 we will be meeting in this damned living room and we will discuss Angela and her motives and plans and we will organize an alliance between my men and the Reapers.” His words are cold and calculated, even if rage and betrayal are laced through every word that escapes his lips. “Leave me.”

 

Grell and Spears and the first to stand, and they nod to Ciel in a silent goodbye before they walk out. 

 

Madam Red shakily gets up and walks towards Ciel, so slowly as if she was approaching a wounded and rabid animal. She looks guilty, and she says nothing as she walks past him and out the door.  _ Good,  _ Ciel thinks.  _ Be guilty of your betrayal.  _

 

Undertaker doesn’t grin or smirk as he walks out. He walks up to Ciel and looks at him with his bangs falling back in front of his eyes. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Adrian murmurs, and the Undertaker walks out of the room. 

 

Sebastian is standing behind Ciel, his fingers still brushing against Ciel’s wrist, but even he begins moving away. 

 

“I’ll leave you be,” Sebastian murmurs, but Ciel stops him.

 

“Don’t,” Ciel murmurs, grasping onto the sleeve of Sebastian’s jacket. “Don’t leave me.”

 

Sebastian stills and looks at Ciel with caution. “I thought you wanted some time to think.”

 

“I wanted the traitors to leave me,” Ciel spits. “You haven’t betrayed me.” He adds the last part quietly.

 

Sebastian eyes Ciel carefully. “I didn’t tell you about Claude.”

 

Ciel shakes his head. “You didn’t need to. We weren’t anything special, and our private lives were separated from each other. My parents’ deaths were a part of my personal life. I deserved to know who killed them.”

 

Sebastian sits back down on the couch and Ciel slowly sits next to him. 

 

“People do strange things when they try to protect the ones they love,” Sebastian says.

 

Ciel scoffs. “I know. Trust me. But this… this is different.”

 

Sebastian gently traces patterns into the skin of Ciel’s wrist. “Why?”

 

“I looked everywhere for the murderers,” Ciel whispers. “Once I was out of the hospital, I looked everyone for the murderer. When I found the Reapers, I thought they killed them. I thought that I finally found the bastards who destroyed my life.” He laughs bitterly. “And I was ready to kill every single last one of them, for a crime they never committed. Even if they have committed quite a few crimes.”

 

Sebastian’s eyes move to Ciel’s hidden eye, and Ciel can feel his gaze burning into it. 

 

“What happened to you?” Sebastian murmurs. 

 

Ciel looks up to Sebastian’s eyes. 

 

“Everything I’m now terrified of.”

 

Sebastian holds Ciel’s hands in his own, and they both notice that Ciel is trembling. 

 

“You don’t need to tell me,” Sebastian says. “I’m here for you no matter what.” 

 

Ciel laughs quietly. “You’re a romantic, aren’t you?”

 

Sebastian doesn’t deny it. “It’s true.”

 

Ciel suddenly pushes himself up and kisses Sebastian softly. His lips are a bit chapped, but Sebastian still marvels at how soft Ciel’s lips are. How perfect they are against his own lips. 

 

Ciel pulls back slightly and looks Sebastian in the eye. “I trust you,” he murmurs. “It’s probably a stupid decision, but I trust you. I want to trust you. I want you.”

 

Sebastian presses his forehead against Ciel’s. “And I you.”

 

Ciel kisses him again. “You’d never hurt me.”

 

“Never.”

 

Ciel climbs into Sebastian’s lap and kisses him harder, deeper, and his hands and tangled into the man’s hair and he loves everything about it. “You are mine.”

 

Sebastian wraps his arms around Ciel and kisses him back. “Always.”

 

Ciel pulls back and laughs airily, but his eye is sad. 

 

“I’m here,” Sebastian murmurs, and the words mean everything to Ciel. Sebastian is here. Sebastian won’t leave him. 

 

“I barely know you and yet I trust you so much,” Ciel whispers. “But it scares me.”

 

Sebastian furrows his brows. “Why?”

 

Ciel laughs bitterly. “I’m scared. I’m broken. I’m  _ fucked up _ , Sebastian. I’m one of those stupid fucks with a tragic backstory, and it has defined almost everything about me.”

 

“You’re still beautiful,” Sebastian says bluntly. 

 

Ciel scoffs. “I wasn’t talking about my physical history, Sebastian. Not entirely, anyways.”

 

“Neither was I,” Sebastian says. “Your soul is beautiful, Ciel. I don’t know how to describe it. Not properly, at least. Your soul is blue, a lighter shade of blue, but that’s just the surface of it. When you dig deeper, the blue becomes richer and richer and it drowns you. It reminds me of when you can’t tell the difference between the sky and the ocean, and you’re not sure if you’re drowning or flying. Perhaps both.” Sebastian kisses Ciel’s forehead. “But your soul is framed in red, the red of this world, the red of the blood that has tainted your life. Red and black, mixing together to form an awful concoction of this world’s blood. People think it’s stained you.” Sebastian moves his lips to Ciel’s ear and his breath tickles his skin. “But when you dig deep, so much deeper into that soul do yours, you come to realize that your soul is white. So white and bright and pure and precious, outshining all of the filth that has hurt you.”

 

Ciel is frozen in Sebastian’s embrace. 

 

“And it’s beautiful.”

 

Ciel leans away in Sebastian’s embrace. “You don’t even know me.”

 

Sebastian purses his lips and doesn’t deny Ciel’s words. “Not the way I’d be expected to know you. I don’t know your history. I don’t know your scars and your fears and the names of the people who have hurt you.”

 

Ciel feels pained by the words. They’re true, sadly. Sebastian doesn’t know him. Not well enough, anyways. Not well enough to properly judge him for his sins. 

 

“But I know how you act when you get mad,” Sebastian murmurs. “When you’re annoyed. When you’re hungry. When Elizabeth just left, or when she’s about to arrive. When Tanaka has made your favorite chocolate cake. When you’re happy but scared to show it. When you’re proud and happy to show it. When you’re scared and forced to not show it.”

 

Ciel leans in as Sebastian does, and their foreheads touch again. 

 

“I’d like to think that I  know your soul.”

 

Ciel hugs him, and burrows into Sebastian’s shoulder. 

 

This is stupid and cheesy and dramatic and all that insane high school drama shit, but is it wrong for Ciel to want that? To want someone to crush over, to run to when he’s scared, to cry against when everything else has broken? 

 

_ I want to trust you, and I do. I probably shouldn’t, but I do. Everything in me - minus my brain - is telling me to let you in. To show you the scars they left on me - the scars that apparently Angela left on me - and have you judge me for it. But will you leave me once you see how pathetic I am?  _

 

_ I don’t want you to leave me.  _

 

“Sebastian,” Ciel mumbles against Sebastian’s shoulder. “I need to show you something.”

 

They lean away from each other just enough so their eyes meet. 

 

“My eye,” Ciel murmurs. “I need to show you it and explain my… my past before we discuss Angela and my parents tomorrow.”  _ Before I grow too attached to you.  _

 

Sebastian nods. 

 

Ciel’s hands shake as they move behind his head and fumble with the ties of his eyepatch. When he can’t untie the simple knot, he curses quietly, but then Sebastian’s hands are covering his own.

 

“Can I?” He asks gently. 

 

Ciel nods.

 

Long fingers undo the plain knot and the silken patch falls down Ciel’s cheek and onto their laps. 

 

A pale, marred eyelid flutters open, and what it reveals is gastly. 

 

“They wanted to have the eye removed,” Ciel murmurs as Sebastian stares at the remains of Ciel’s eye. “But for some reason I refused.”

 

Burns fleck across Ciel’s so carefully hidden eye, warping the skin. The iris is a pale shade of blue, a ghost of the color it once was, but the angry pinkish purple of his scar forms a disturbing shape. It looks as if someone took a laser and carved a pentagram into Ciel’s right eye, and little symbols are carved within the shape itself. 

 

The Devil’s mark rests upon Ciel’s eye, marking him as a creature of hell. 

 

“And this is the easiest scar to deal with,” Ciel mutters. 

 

Sebastian is speechless, and a curious hand reaches up to lightly trace the skin below Ciel’s marked eye. 

 

“Death is a gift compared to what I want to do to whoever did this to you,” Sebastian growls out. 

 

Ciel sees the rage in his butler’s eyes, but it doesn’t scare him. This is Sebastian. He won’t hurt Ciel. Sebastian will protect him. 

 

“I’ll let you have your way with them,” Ciel murmurs as he cups the side of Sebastian’s face. 

 

Sebastian pulls Ciel flush against his chest and kisses the spot beneath his jaw. “Good.”

 

“They violated me,” Ciel whispers. “They took me from my burnt mansion and they destroyed every sense of security I had.” 

 

Sebastian grips Ciel tightly. 

 

“They took a child from their burning home and they marked that child and they tortured that child and they burnt the soul and love out of that child,” Ciel grits out, clutching to Sebastian. “And I never knew why.” Ciel laughs bitterly. “You’d think I’d act like I was a little more traumatized by that experience.”

 

“You’re strong,” Sebastian murmurs. “Stronger than the bastards who hurt you.”

 

Ciel shakes his head. “I wasn’t. I cried and I screamed and I don’t let people touch me because it scares me. I hate romantic shit, I hate kisses, I hate people touching me, I hate everything that people like to call love. I have nightmares about their touches, the cold and ice they burnt me with, and I don’t let anyone in because I don’t want them to see how fucked up I am on the inside.”

 

Sebastian seems to want to deny everything that Ciel says, but he keeps his mouth shut. Ciel isn’t finished yet. 

 

“But I want all of it,” Ciel admits. “I want to let someone in. I want to know this feeling people call love. Because the only thing I can call love in my life, is what my parents gave me when they were still alive. But they’re dead now. Call me pathetic, but I’m… I’m lonely.”

 

“You aren’t pathetic,” Sebastian whispers. “You could never be pathetic.”

 

Ciel cuddles into Sebastian’s chest, trying to memorize this feeling of warmth surrounding him. “I don’t want anyone in my life to know my shitty soul.” Ciel presses his cheek against Sebastian’s chest and listens to the steady heartbeat. “No one but you.”

 

“I’m here for you, Ciel,” Sebastian murmurs. “If you want me, I’m here.”

 

“I want you.” Ciel leans back and kisses Sebastian lightly on the lips. “Don’t ask me why, but I trust you and you make me feel safe.”

 

~~~

 

_ “Oh he’s a precious one, isn’t he?”  _

 

_ “Such lovely skin.” _

 

_ “Now now, he’s begin auctioned later. You all can admire him later, we need to put him with the others first.”” _

 

_ “Aw, you’re no fun!” _

 

_ “The fun begins later, milady.” _

 

_ Giggles flow from the two women. “You have a point, Michael.” _

 

_ The pale child is manhandled and thrown into a rusty and cold cage, his skin scraping against the metal. He shouts weakly, but his captors only laugh.  _

 

_ “He’ll look good on the marble, won’t he?” _

 

_ The men leave him, and cloth is thrown over his cage, hiding him from the rest of this horrible world. _

 

_ “Hello?” He calls out weakly.  _

 

_ The three other children in the cage say nothing and don’t look at him. _

 

_ “Why am I here?” _

 

_ They don’t respond.  _

 

_ Ciel begins to whisper softly and he curls up into a little ball, hugging is knees to his chest. Everything is cold and sharp and too quick and everything is just wrong. He pinches himself roughly on his arm, trying to wake up from this horrible nightmare, but nothing happens. The cage doesn't go away and the blood doesn’t stop trickling from his head and the cold doesn’t leave.  _

 

_ Why is he here? What did he do to deserve this? What has he done wrong? He’s done nothing, nothing! He woke up happily this morning, ran down the stairs and gave his mum a hug and then gave his dad a hug. He gave Sebastian a hug, laughing happily when the dog licked him on the face in affection. Tanaka had prepared a birthday breakfast, and it was pancakes. Pancakes were great. Mum and dad were happy together, and he was happy.  _

 

_ Then Tanaka told him to run out of the house as fast as he could, taking Sebastian with him. _

 

_ It was so hot and bright in the night, and Tanaka wouldn’t let him go to his parents. Sebastian has tried pulling him out of the house, but Ciel is stubborn when he wants to be. He ran back into the mansion and stood in the middle of the cast entrance, screaming the names of his parents as fire dropped all around him.  _

 

_ Soldiers dressed in white are spotted around the room, and they walked towards him.  _

 

_ “Get away! Away!” He screamed. _

 

_ He heard their laughter and the anxiety in his blood ran high.  _

 

_ “Away!” _

 

_ He heard Sebastian bark and Tanaka shout his name, but true soldiers in white were quicker. Cold hands grabbed him, juxtaposing that awful heat, and they carried him away, laughing loudly.  _

 

_ Now he rocks back and forth in a cage, whimpering for his mother and father and butler and Guard Dog. Sebastian would always comfort him when his parents couldn’t, and he misses him. He misses his stoic body and the comfort he would give the little boy. He misses Sebastian. _

 

_ One by one, children are pulled from their cages and their screams terrify Ciel beyond anything.  _

 

_ A cold hand grabs him and now it’s his turn to scream. _

 

_ They kiss him mockingly, laughing at his pain, and when he bites their hands and mouths, they hit him and shove him to the floor. They laugh at him and say they’re doing God’s work. That he is the child of sin and that he needs to be cleansed. When their ice doesn’t burn the hell out of his soul, they laugh and say, “Now we must mark you as one of sin. One of hell. Burn your master’s symbol into your prideful eye. _

 

_ They wrench his eye open and a whizzing machine carved into it, and he screams and he screams and he screams.  _

 

_ Pain becomes his life and cold becomes his companion. Cold, such cold. An icy spell that crawls into Ciel’s heart and stomach and bones and mind. It wraps around Ciel in a cruel embrace, and he hates it. He hates it and he hates it and he’s so angry but terrified. Their touches are so cold, and they seem to have no shame as they pry his flesh apart and touch the most intimate parts of his body. Part’s he rarely ever touches himself. Parts that no one should be allowed to touch, because of they scars they could carve into Ciel’s little broken body. _

 

I want it to stop _ , he thinks to himself as he lays there on the marble for the final time.  _ Please let it stop. 

 

Let Death come for me.

 

_ Instead of a knife in his heart, he feels fire again.  _

 

_ Flames rise around the room, and for once it isn’t children screaming. It’s the people in white, and fallen angels.  _

 

_ A man with white hair and green eyes walks through the flames like a god of death, and he walks towards Ciel. Terror grasps at Ciel’s heart for a moment, but he then meets the man’s eyes and then suddenly he’s calm.  _

 

_ “Ciel,” the man whispers.  _

 

_ Ciel says nothing.  _

 

_ “I’ll take you home.” _

 

_ ~~~ _

 

_ White light wakes him, and he’s sitting up in a hospital.  _

 

_ “Ciel, you need to lay down. You need to rest,” a kind looking woman says.  _

 

_ “Where are my mum and dad?” Ciel whispers, and the woman says nothing. _

 

_ “Where are they?” He demands. _

 

_ “I can’t tell you that right now, sweetie. Mr Tanaka is just outside, though, and-” _

 

_ “ _ Where are my mum and dad?!”  _ He shouts, shoving against her hands. “Let me go!” _

 

_ A bark is heard outside, and then Sebastian is running into the room.  _

 

_ “Sebastian!” He shouts, clambering off his cot and tugging against the tubes attached to him.  _

 

_ The dog runs into his arms and Ciel clutches at him tightly, shuddering at the warmth.  _

 

_ “Sebastian Sebastian Sebastian,” he whispers.  _

 

_ ~~~ _

 

_ “They’re gone, Ciel.” _

 

_ Ciel stares out the window and holds tightly onto Sebastian.  _

 

_ “Someone killed them,” he whispers. _

 

_ “It was a fire-” _

 

_ “Someone burnt my home to the ground,” Ciel snarls. “Someone kidnapped me and tortured me and they killed mum and dad they killed them they-” he breaks off in a tight sob, and he buried his face into Sebastian’s short fur.  _

 

_ “I’m going to kill them.” _

 

_ “Ciel?”  _

 

_ Ciel looks up and smiles something wicked and broken. “I’m going to kill them.” _

 

_ ~~~ _

 

_ Sebastian dies in the middle of the night, and it’s of old age. He hated Vincent, but somehow loved Ciel, and it broke everything in Ciel to see his precious Guard Dog dead on his bedroom floor. Tanaka couldn’t comfort him, and the boy stopped smiling after they buried the dog.  _

 

_ Ciel never spoke of Sebastian again, sometimes even forgetting that he once had a precious guard to keep him company in the night.  _

 

~~~

 

“So you’re telling me that I have the same name as your dog.”

 

Ciel groans and shoves his face into the pillows. Sebastian and him have now moved to his bedroom, and they’re both sprawled across his fabulous bed. 

 

“You are supposed to be dramatically reacting and comforting me, right now, Sebastian,” he mumbles into the pillows. 

 

“I know that, and trust me, I will get all possessive and romantic with you about your tragic backstory, but I need to lighten the mood. Temporarily.”

 

Ciel kicks Sebastian from under the blankets, and Sebastian mutters ‘ow.’ Serves him right. 

 

“So do you see me like your old pet?”

 

“He was more than a pet,” Ciel snaps, dragging himself into a sitting position, crossing his legs and glaring at Sebastian. “And no, I do not see you as my pet dog. I’m not a furry.”

 

Sebastian chuckles in relief and flops down onto Ciel’s lap, looking up at Ciel who now doesn’t wear his eyepatch. His hand reaches up to brush lightly against the bottom eyelid, and Ciel freezes at the touch.

 

“I hope you realize that I will kill them,” Sebastian darkly promises. 

 

Ciel leans into Sebastian’s touch. “I know.”

 

Sebastian rolls away and then sits up, quickly making his way back to Ciel. “Do you trust me to protect you?”

 

Ciel smiles and pokes Sebastian’s nose. “You are my Guard Dog, after all.”

 

Sebastian rolls his eyes and leans in closer to Ciel, flicking his eyes down to Ciel’s lips.

 

“Don’t compare me to a dog,” Sebastian murmurs. “Let me be your guard cat.”

 

Ciel laughs loudly and Sebastian is glad to see some of the tension leave Ciel. “It doesn’t have the same ring, you big puppy.”

 

Sebastian narrows his eyes. “I’m not a puppy.”

 

Ciel scoffs. “Sure. You totally don’t give me puppy eyes.”

 

Sebastian puts a hand against his chest and gasps. “Ciel, how dare you accuse me of such a thing.”

 

“You really do!” Ciel laughs. “It’s like looking into the eyes of a lovestruck puppy when you look at me.”

 

Sebastian rolls his eyes. “I’m pretty sure I’ve been looking at you with different eyes, Ciel.” 

 

Ciel snorts. “You’re right. Bedroom eyes.”

 

Sebastian kisses Ciel chastely. “I am one hell of a stripper, after all.”

 

Ciel groans and puts his head on Sebastian’s shoulder. “Let’s not talk about  _ Facilis Descensus Averno. _ Please.”

 

Sebastian laughs and kisses the top of Ciel’s head. “But we had such a good time there.”  

 

“I was such a stupid horny teenager, it was  _ awful.” _

 

Sebastian wraps his arms around Ciel and the touches send sparks flying. His hands are placed at Ciel’s lower back, applying the right amount of pressure to press Ciel against Sebastian, but not enough to make him feel trapped. Sebastian is perfect with his touches, and none of them scare Ciel away. He wants these touches, and he wants more. 

 

They kiss again, and the kisses ground Ciel. This is safe, and he loves everything about Sebastian. He’s hated but craved touches for so long, and he’s finally found someone whose touches feel right. Sebastian is of this world, he’s a damned stripper from hell, but he’s Ciel’s salvation. Sebastian has made Ciel human again, for better or for worse. 

 

“You’re my Morning Star.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos and comments and tell me what you think! I’m a slut for comments, you guys all know this very well.


	15. The Sky’s Morning Star

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiiiiiiii I know it’s been like more than a week and I said my updates were gonna be weekly but listen I’ve been busy as fuck and I hope this chapter was worth the wait... 
> 
> Not gonna, this is basically the chapter that every fic has in which our beloved ship does the do and the slow burn reaches its climax. Enjoy, my fellow sinners.

“You’re my Morning Star,” Ciel murmurs against Sebastian’s lips.

 

Sebastian pulls back slightly and looks at Ciel with a confused expression. “Sorry?”

 

Ciel kisses Sebastian again, and Sebastian complies.

 

“You’re my Morning Star,” he whispers in between kisses. 

 

Sebastian chuckles against Ciel’s lips. “Care to explain?”

 

Ciel kisses him harder before leaning away enough to speak properly. “You are my salvation and my damnation. You are the lie and my truth.”

 

Sebastian raises a brow at Ciel’s sudden spurt of random poetry. “Poetic, but you're still leaving me confused.”

 

Ciel huffs and sits back, glaringly playfully at Sebastian. “I couldn’t touch anyone after my parents died. I couldn’t let anyone in. I hated almost everything in the world and the only thing I could do was work as the Guard Dog.” He reaches out and takes Sebastian’s hand. “You are the first person I’ve ever wanted like this.”

 

Sebastian swells in pride at this. “Really?”

 

Ciel half heartedly flips Sebastian off. “Don’t get too big headed.”

 

Sebastian smirks. “Me? Never.”

 

“Sure,” Ciel says, rolling his eyes. “Now let me continue, for mercy’s sake.”

 

“Okay,” Sebastian whispers, stealing a kiss from Ciel. “Tell me.”

 

Ciel groans and nearly leans in for more kisses. It’s been less than twenty four hours and yet he’s already addicted to Sebastian’s kisses. “You know I don’t trust people easily. Everyone is out for power and everyone is an enemy to an extent.”

 

Sebastian says nothing, neither agreeing nor denying Ciel’s point. 

 

“So I never let anyone in, and I didn’t want to let anyone in.” Ciel smiles wryly. “I barely let Elizabeth in. But anyways, I didn’t trust anyone and I most certainly did not want to be in a relationship. Sure, I knew I was gay and Elizabeth was constantly trying to hook me up with people, but it was nothing more than a barely there physical attraction. I didn’t want anything serious. I just knew that I liked guys.”

 

“And then Elizabeth took you to  _ Facilis Descensus Averno,”  _ Sebastian says.

 

Ciel swats at his shoulder. “Yes,” he admits. “But even then it felt like… lust and nothing more.”

 

“So you admit that you feel sexually attracted towards me,” Sebastian taunts, leaning forward with a gleeful expression on his face. 

 

Ciel blushes -  _ hard  _ \- and shoves Sebastian away. “Obviously, jackass.”

 

Sebastian laughs softly and steals a kiss from Ciel. “I’m glad.”

 

Ciel groans and shoves Sebastian harder. “Shut up and lemme continue ~”

 

Sebastian pouts and pulls away. “Fine.”

 

Ciel rolls his eyes. “You were just some… distraction from the chaos of the Reapers, but for some reason you became something more. You looked at me like I was someone worth something, and you didn’t have to believe that. You didn’t know me. You didn’t have to look at me like that. But you did. And call me cheesy, but that made my heart fucking leap out of my chest.”

 

Sebastian laughs. “I’m glad.”

 

Ciel pokes Sebastian’s nose. “And then you ended up being Archangel.”

 

“And I was dating Claude,” Sebastian murmurs.

 

Ciel nods. “I felt lost. I didn’t know how to deal with this, because I realized that I had a fucking  _ crush  _ on you. And I was jealous. And everything just felt wrong when you left me.”

 

Sebastian scoots closer to Ciel.

 

“Everything felt right with you, like some stupid god up in the heaven that may or may not exist decided that you were meant to be with me and I was meant to be with you.”

 

Sebastian smiles. “I love the cheesy side of you.”

 

“Shut uuupp,” Ciel groans. “This is the only time I’m being like this, by the way.”

 

Sebastian shrugs. “This is being burnt into my memory, so it doesn’t matter.”

 

Ciel gives Sebastian a bitch face before continuing. “You shouldn’t be the guy I sell my soul to. You shouldn’t be the one to make me feel safe. But you are. You are my salvation, but you are my damnation. I'm never ever going to be the respectable Guard Dog ever again, but I won’t be lonely. I won’t be scared of you touching me. I’ll be safe from my nightmares, because you’ll be there to scare them away.” 

 

Ciel quietly admits to himself how much better he’s slept ever since Sebastian started staying with him. 

 

“The Morning Star is used to describe both the Devil and Christ,” Ciel says. “You’re both to me. The people who did this to me,” he points to his marred eye, “claimed to be doing God’s work. So if that is what angels are, I want the devils on my side. You have saved me, but you aren’t from heaven. You’re human and you belong to the shitty earth of sinners.”

 

Sebastian smiles softly. 

 

“And it feels like we were meant to be…” Ciel trails off and then buries his face in his hands. “Ignore that ignore that ignore that.”

 

Sebastian chuckles and pulls Ciel closer to him. “Why would I do that?”

 

“It’s so embarrassing!” Ciel mutters into his hands, not pushing away Sebastian. 

 

Sebastian kisses the top of Ciel’s head. “It’s really not.”

 

Ciel groans but cuddles closer to Sebastian. “Yes it is now shut up.”

 

“So rude,” Sebastian murmurs into Ciel’s hair.

 

Ciel looks up at Sebastian and glares at him. “I am confessing my love to you so can you try to be serious.”

 

Sebastian raises his eyebrows. “Oh? Your love?” He leans down and brushes his lips against Ciel’s. “You love me?”

 

Ciel is having a massive nosebleed right now and his face is the color of Madam Red’s hair. 

 

“No,” Ciel whispers. 

 

Sebastian looks mildly offended. “What happened to confessing you love?”

 

Ciel sputters for words and mentally curses himself. “That… you… it’s just… fuck.”

 

Sebastian chuckles and presses and chaste kiss against Ciel’s lips. “Lord, I’m addicted to you.”

 

“Do not speak of that man in my bed,” Ciel mutters. “I literally just ranted how about I don’t want heaven or hell.”

 

Sebastian shrugs. “Fine. But you should know Ciel, you are my heaven. My sweet sweet heaven I never want to let go of.”

 

And Ciel is blushing again. 

 

“But I can only have you if you let me,” Sebastian murmurs. “I know what we have is rushed and a bit chaotic, but I’ll wait. I’ll wait for this to grow. I’ll wait for your trust and for your scars to heal. I’ll wait for you.”

 

Ciel numbly focuses on Sebastian’s hands mindlessly running up and down his back. 

 

“I will do anything and everything for you.”

 

Ciel burrows against Sebastian again, and he breathes in the warmth and smell of Sebastian. 

 

Sebastian would wait for him. Sebastian would wait for this crazy desire to grow into something more stable, and he would wait for time to heal Ciel’s wounds. He would wait for Ciel to no longer be terrified of another’s touch. He would wait. 

 

But Ciel doesn’t want to wait. He wants to run headfirst into this desire, and he wants fall and rise with Sebastian until all he can feel is bliss. Sebastian’s touches have become bliss. Ciel has shut out the fear and pain for so long, but it was never forgotten. Now, it’s forgotten. Sebastian’s touches rewrite the scars on Ciel’s skin and they heal him better than a thousand years of peace could. 

 

Ciel doesn’t want to wait to be fixed. He wants to break out of his fears, and he wants to do it now. 

 

_ Humans were born to touch,  _ Ciel thinks,  _ and to feel and to come together as one, because in the end, we are either risen demons or fallen angels all craving the same burning touch of this human thing called love; the fire that echoes holy judgement but is something better, because we carve out our own story and our own choices with these touches, and we judge ourselves, not God, not the Devil.  _

 

_ We want the fire of Earth, suspended in between heaven and hell, because it's human nature to be scared of commitment, and this way we can get a taste of both sides without any consequences. We all crave a warmth that echoes hellfire, because we all flirt with death but do not want its touch. With this warmth, we dance with the Devil and we cast glances back at heaven.  _

 

_ There is nothing wrong with another human’s touch, but there is everything wrong with it. It was designed by God but people say it’s the work of the Devil. A murderer is the seducer of Death, but a saint is the bride of God. _

 

_ Desire is the thread connecting heaven and hell, and every risen demon and fallen angel craves it. To be touched is to be marked by humans and not the devils and the angels.  _

 

_ We are of this world and not theirs.  _

 

_ I am not marked by heaven.  _ Ciel grits his teeth and buried his head into Sebastian’s shoulder.  _ I am not marked by Hell. I am my own person. I am my own soul. I am a human and I will give myself to another human because I do not belong to heaven or hell.  _

 

_ I belong to this earth of humanly desire and pain.  _

 

“I don’t want to wait,” Ciel whispers. “I don’t need to wait. I want you and one day, I could love you. I don’t want to wait and be all proper and shit. I want this. I want you.” He looks up and Sebastian and his eyes are met with deep maroon eyes. “And I want your touches to rewrite the scars they carved into my skin.”

 

Sebastian looks softly shocked, but there is bliss in his expression. He looks honored. 

 

_ Pft. Prideful git.  _

 

“As I want you, my Ciel,” Sebastian whispers lowly, leaning in and pressing kisses against Ciel’s own lips and skin. These kisses are hot and they brand into his skin like a catharsis, burning away the cold touches of the false angels. 

 

“I want to go all the way,” Ciel gasps into Sebastian’s mouth. “I want you to touch every part of me and make me forget that those bastards ever laid their dead hands on me.”

 

Sebastian threads his hands through Ciel’s hair and drags him closer. “Are you sure?”

 

Ciel nods. “Yes. God, yes.”

 

Something low rumbles in the depths of Sebastian’s throat and he moves his mouth down to Ciel’s throat, nibbling lightly at the pale skin there and sucking faint purple flowers onto Ciel. 

 

“You want everything?” Sebastian whispers against Ciel’s throat. “Everything I can physically offer you?”

 

Ciel nods frantically, feeling the fire rise in his body. “Everything,” he gasps. “Everything you can give me.”

 

Sebastian’s hands find their way to Ciel’s hips and they pull Ciel’s waist against his own, brushing their growing erections together. “You’re going to forget those bastards and the only thing you will know is the fire of my touch.”

 

_ Holy fuck yes.  _

 

Ciel grinds his hips against Sebastian and he’s vividly reminded of all those nights at the club. When this was all base desire and nothing more. It probably still is, but they have an excuse to feel this lust now. They can tell the world that they have a trust and a bond and a loyalty to each other, but all Ciel can currently register is the animalistic need to touch Sebastian and to be touched by him. 

 

“Make me forget,” he whispers. “Make me know only your touch.”

 

Sebastian picks Ciel up briefly only to lay him down on the bed, and then he leans away from Ciel and begins undoing the buttons of his shirt. Slender hands undo those damn buttons, and bit by bit, skin is revealed. Skin that Ciel was once so used to seeing and feeling under his hands, and Ciel shivers as he remembers how much he’s missed touching Sebastian. 

 

Sebastian kisses Ciel sweetly, and it’s a pale fire compared to the one burning the room and their souls. Their fingers thread into each other’s hair and tug each other closer, closer and closer until there’s barely any room to breathe, but Ciel is fine with that. Let him drown in Sebastian’s kisses. 

 

Hands move slowly to explore each other’s bodies, and while Sebastian is touching Ciel like a man on a mission - that mission being to fuck the pretty Phantomhive boy - Ciel’s hands are curious and almost innocent. These hands have never touched anyone else besides their own body and their own lust, but now they can feel the desire of another man. Sebastian’s body rises and falls under Ciel’s gentle hands, and they learn where the muscle dips and curves, like an ocean. They map out Sebastian, creating an image that Ciel can only feel in his heart (and dick) and they learn him like Sebastian learned Ciel at the hotel. 

 

_ This is Sebastian,  _ Ciel thinks.  _ This creature under my hands, kissing me as if I was his salvation, is my Morning Star and he will never leave me.  _

 

The clothes are shoved aside at some point amongst the kisses, and Sebastian peppers kisses all along Ciel’s skin, down his neck and collar bone and chest. Sebastian has fucked many men and women and those in between, but most were just one night stands to release some pressure and satisfy an animalistic hunger. Claude was the most emotional one out of all of those before Ciel, and Sebastian remembers when he first touched Claude. How young and foolish he was, exploring the body of another boy for the first time. Sebastian had been rough - perhaps a bit too rough - with Claude, bruising his skin with kisses and death grips in the throes of passion, but he was young. He didn’t know what it felt like to touch another human being like that. 

 

Ciel obviously has never touched anyone else besides Sebastian, and it makes Sebastian swell with a possessiveness he probably should be ashamed of, but he’s too happy to give a shit. He has Ciel in his arms, and he’s kissing Ciel, and he finally has his little heaven in his arms. How long has he longed for this body? For this pale skin to flush red under his hands and for those thin lips to form little gasps and moans as he breaks Ciel apart in the most sensual way? For too long and too little. 

 

This strange creature with a single blue eye is finally his, and he won’t deny his lust. He won’t deny the raging boner in his too tight pants and the heavy breaths escaping his lungs. He knows his animalistic side. But there’s a pride to having Ciel in his arms.  _ Sebastian _ is the one Ciel trusts.  _ Sebastian _ is the one Ciel wants.  _ Sebastian _ is the one who gets to break Ciel into a thousand pieces of pleasure and then pick him up with gentle kisses. Sebastian has become the one worthy of the Phantomhive love. Just like Adrian. 

 

Sebastian chuckles into Ciel’s mouth - breaking the moment but not ruining it - and Ciel leans back to glare at him. 

 

“What are you laughing at?” Ciel demands. “I’m not that bad of a kisser.”

 

Sebastian smiles at his Phantomhive and kisses him chastely before speaking. “I was laughing at myself. Don’t worry, your kisses are lovely, my Ciel.”

 

Ciel rolls his eyes but they both know the scarlet blush on his cheeks. “Why were you laughing at yourself?”

 

Sebastian’s hands move up and down Ciel’s hips - delightfully beautiful things - and he shakes his head slightly. “I was comparing myself to Adrian.”

 

Ciel frowns a bit. “Undertaker?”

 

Sebastian nods, smiling softly. “Adrian and I were the ones to earn our Phantomhive’s love,” he whispers. “And I just find it strange that I am comparable to a pedophillic looking junkie.”

 

Ciel rolls his eyes yet again and pulls Sebastian flush against him. “You have yet to ‘earn my love,’ Michaelis. I’m only half undressed.”

 

Sebastian nearly purrs as he throws himself back onto Ciel and resumes kissing his Ciel and moving curious hands. 

 

They fit so well together as they sit there in bed, kissing and exploring each other’s bodies. Sebastian’s hands seem to slot perfectly with Ciel’s hips and waist and neck, and Ciel’s hands seem to fit into the dips of Sebastian’s body. Everything about these moments is perfect. The room is quiet but filled with soft whispers of adoration and moans of pleasure, and Ciel loves it. Ciel could spend an eternity kissing Sebastian, but Sebastian has other plans. 

 

One article of unfashionable clothing comes off after the other, and a new patch of skin is revealed to Sebastian’s merciless hands. First Sebastian’s hands will map that area of skin out, and then his mouth. Ciel can do nothing but whimper softly against the touches, and he usually clings to Sebastian’s hair when he kisses the new territory of skin he’s conquered. 

 

They’ve barely even begun and Ciel is already breaking in Sebastian’s arms. Going all the way? Ciel shivers in anticipation, and it’s a shiver of pleasurable excitement. It’s not fear. Because this is Sebastian and Ciel wants him to touch him. He wants these touches. With every inch of skin burnt by Sebastian’s touch, he forgets another moment with the faux angels. He forgets the cold dead hands that once touched him. 

 

And it feels so… refreshing to let someone rewrite his painful history. 

 

Eventually, Sebastian’s head comes in level with Ciel’s pelvis, and Ciel’s face is redder than Madam Red’s hair. 

 

“May I?” Sebastian whispers, his lips brushing against Ciel’s awkwardly tented trousers. 

 

_ Holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck this is fucking hot.  _

 

“Yes,” Ciel squeaks, and he slaps a hand over his mouth after he hears the atrocity he has just uttered. 

 

Sebastian is having none of that, and he moves up to kiss Ciel thoroughly before murmuring, “I want to hear you, Ciel. I want you screaming before this is over.”

 

And… there goes Ciel’s sanity. 

 

Sebastian slinks back down to Ciel’s little friend, and he kisses it softly, almost teasingly through the fabric. Ciel throws his head back so hard that it hurts and he winces quietly. 

 

_ Fuck fuck fuck. _

 

Sebastian waits a moment for Ciel to recollect himself and look back down at Sebastian before continuing. 

 

Soft, open mouthed kisses are peppered all over Ciel’s virgin erection, and Ciel grows more and more frustrated. It’s so damn slow and teasing and Ciel just wants the pressure to be released, but he’s too damn terrified to move his hand down to aid Sebastian in his actions. He can barely look at Sebastian doing the deed, for God’s sake.

 

Sebastian unzips the fateful zipper and there’s only one thin, fairly damp cloth in between his member and Sebastian’s sinful damned mouth. Their eyes meet as Sebastian’s fingers toy with the band of Ciel’s boxers - thank god he wore his black one today instead of the bright red one, his red one is just embarrassing- and Ciel is blushing and a high pitched and extremely embarrassing whine escapes his lips as Sebastian leans down to kiss his shame. 

 

From then on Sebastian is gone. 

 

The band is shoved down without mercy and Ciel’s member is popping out proud and hard, and Sebastian’s tongue is flicking out to taste the tip of said member. 

 

_ Holy fuck shit damn shit damn dicks cocks fucks ducks cheese and crackers.  _

 

Ciel will never -  _ never  _ \- admit to the girlish and porn worthy moan/whine that he releases when Sebastian’s mouth closes around Ciel. 

 

Ciel has masturbated, he has watched porn, he has done the things a normal teenager would have done - believe it or not - but never in his seventeen inexperienced years has he felt something as good as Sebastian’s mouth around his dick. It’s so warm and wet and  _ perfect  _ and Sebastian is looking heavenly as he tentatively sucks at Ciel’s dick. 

 

Sebastian is also enjoying Ciel’s dick in his mouth. Ciel has a slender cock, and it endearingly curves to the right a bit. It’s smooth and Ciel doesn’t have much hair at his privates, and the look on Ciel’s face is absolutely priceless. Claude wasn’t a virgin when he and Sebastian first fucked - that was Sebastian, who bottomed at the time, actually - and Sebastian has usually gone for more experienced men and women in the past. People who know what they’re doing and know their way around sex and pleasure. Ciel knows nothing but his hand and daydreams. So seeing what Sebastian might have looked like when Claude first went down on him, it’s satisfying. He’s Ciel’s first, and he prays to a few gods that he doesn’t believe in that he’ll be Ciel’s last. Ciel is  _ his  _ and Sebastian is the only one giving him this pleasure. 

 

He moves up and down, keeping it simple and keeping eye contact - well, trying to - with his Ciel, and his lover is a quivering mess under his hands and mouth. When Ciel gives him this one particularly blissful face, Sebastian smirks - as best as he can around Ciel’s pretty cock - and then moves down and down and down until the entirety of Ciel’s cock is in his mouth.

 

“Fuck,” Ciel whispers. “Holy hellfire of fucking ducks that’s hot.”

 

Sebastian moves off Ciel with a small pop and looks at Ciel darkly. “You shouldn’t be able to speak,” he whispers against Ciel’s cock. “I want you moaning my name when you cum.”

 

Ciel looks at him with a mildly panicked expression which quickly morphs into a blissed out gasp as Sebastian begins sucking faster and harder. Ciel’s hip involuntarily buck up into Sebastian’s mouth, but Sebastian seems to do nothing but encourage it. Unthinkingly, Ciel begins bucking his hips up into Sebastian’s mouth, and he feels the heat growing in his groin, building into something explosive and amazing. 

 

“Sebastian,” he moans quietly. “Fuck, Sebastian, I’m about to cum.”

 

Sebastian only sucks harder.

 

“Fuck! Sebastian get off I’m going to cum oh god I’m coming I’m coming…” he trails off and weakly attempts to shove Sebastian's head away before he cums, but Sebastian is having none of that. Ciel cums in moments, and Sebastian swallows it. 

 

_ Fuuuuuuuuck. _

 

“Sebastian!” He gasps as he releases into his kinda-boyfriend’s mouth, and there’s only two words going through Ciel’s head as he peaks and slowly comes down from his high.

 

_ Fuck _

 

and

 

_ Sebastian.  _

 

The two words go quite well together. 

 

Sebastian rises up to Ciel’s level once all of the cum is swallowed and licked clean, and Sebastian eyes Ciel with heavy eyelids as he whispers, “Should I go rinse my mouth before kissing you?”

 

Ciel slams his mouth against Sebastian’s and tastes his release in Sebastian’s mouth and he actually finds it really fucking hot. He kisses him without restraint and Sebastian is dragging his hands up and down Ciel’s body, overstimulating every part of Ciel.

 

“You have no idea how fucking hot you are,” Ciel rasps out when their lips separate for a few moments, and Sebastian grins in response.

 

“I think I have some idea,” he whispers against Ciel’s swollen lips, and Ciel is mentally slamming his head against a wall.  _ Stupid stupid stupid just say nothing embarrassing can’t you do that much? Goddammit.  _

 

Ciel doesn’t know what to say and would much rather  _ not  _ embarrass himself any more. So he kisses Sebastian. He kisses him and he kisses him and he’s lost in the feeling of Sebastian’s lips on his. 

 

Sebastian seems fairly content kissing Ciel, groaning happily into his mouth and rolling his tongue with Ciel’s, but Ciel comes to a sudden and kinda embarrassing realization when Sebastian’s own erection pokes at his hip.

 

_ Sebastian’s hard…  _ Ciel thinks suddenly.  _ I should… I need to… I could do something about that.  _

 

“Sebastian,” he whispers. “You’re… hard.”

 

Sebastian chuckles against Ciel’s open mouth. “Is that surprising?”

 

Ciel mentally curses himself. He’s being such a fucking idiot right now. He told Sebastian he wants to go all the way, aka have sex. Aka take out Sebastian’s dick and then… you know. 

 

And here he is, freaking out over the still clothed boner. 

 

“Ciel?” Sebastian murmurs into Ciel’s neck, just below his jaw. He leans back enough to meet Ciel’s eyes and he kisses his lips chastely. “You look nervous.”

 

Ciel shakes his head quickly. “I’m not!”

 

“We don’t need to anything more, Ciel,” Sebastian says kindly. “Like I said, I’m willing to wait for you. I will wait for you.”

 

_ Do I look that nervous? Am I acting like some pathetic little virgin who’s just way too horny? I fucked up, didn’t I? I shouldn’t be nervous about Sebastian’s fucking dick, I said I wanted this and yet here I am, panicking over it. Will I be able to give Sebastian as much pleasure as he just gave me? Does he think I’ll fuck up? _

 

Ciel bites at his bottom lip. “Do you not want me?” He asks lowly, his voice monotone. 

 

Sebastian seemed shocked by Ciel’s question. “Sorry?”

 

Ciel looks away. “Do you not want to go all the way? Am I too-”

 

“Don’t,” Sebastian whispers before pressing his lips against Ciel’s quivering lips. “Don’t finish that sentence.”

 

Ciel scoffs. “I fucked up why are you even-”

 

Sebastian kisses him again. “You didn’t fuck up. You’ve been nothing but amazing. I don’t even get why you’re suddenly thinking you did something wrong. You’ve done nothing wrong. Nothing.”

 

Ciel balls his hands into fists against Sebastian’s lower back. “I don’t know…” He swallows and braces himself mentally. He’s a Phantomhive. He can do this. He can admit his flaws… surely he can do such a simple thing. “I’m a hopeless little virgin and I need your help,” he blurts out. “I want to… pleasure you and everything, but I’m going to fuck up and I need you to be patient with me.”

 

Sebastian smiles fondly, but it’s too close to a smirk for Ciel’s liking. Ciel kisses the smirk away. 

 

“We have all day, Ciel,” Sebastian murmurs. “All day to teach you how to make love.”

 

_ The cheesy little piece of shit why do I even like him is it because he’s a sex god and my perfect soldier and butler and stripper?  _

 

Ciel groans and rests his head on Sebastian’s shoulder. He turns his head so he faces Sebastian’s perfectly sculpted neck, and Ciel gets a  _ brilliant  _ idea.  _ We’ll start slow _ , he thinks to himself. 

 

Slowly, curiously, he moves his lips to Sebastian’s neck below his jaw, and he starts kissing the smooth skin there. His kisses are soft and he tries to memorize the feeling of Sebastian’s skin under his lips. Sebastian moans softly and pulls Ciel’s hips closer, so Ciel takes that as encouragement. His tongue pokes out to taste Sebastian’s skin, and he’s a bit surprised by how… normal it feels. There’s no sparks flying and instant magical boner - even if his dick is starting to harden again - and Sebastian just tastes human. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

But Ciel likes it, and he likes the positive reactions he seems to be getting from Sebastian. He peppers kisses all over Sebastian’s neck, and when he begins nibbling at Sebastian’s collar bone, Sebastian’s hip buck  _ up  _ and into Ciel’s own and suddenly he’s being kissed, hard. Sebastian’s hands tangle roughly into Ciel’s mess of hair and drags him into Sebastian, kissing him with everything the man seems to have to offer. A desperation is in Sebastian’s actions, and Ciel loves it. Sebastian wants him. Sebastian needs him. 

 

Sebastian is rocking into Ciel’s hips and he releases a sweet whine that sends shivers down Ciel’s spine.

 

“Fuck,” Sebastian groans into Ciel. “You’re like a fucking drug. I want more… god I want more. Ciel please… give me more. Let me have you.”

 

Ciel is frozen for a second, but then he smirks. So Sebastian is just as hopeless as Ciel is when it comes to their desire for each other.

 

“Tell me how to pleasure you,” Ciel whispers filthily, instantly and nearly regretting saying the words. It’s so… vulgar. And yet they roll of his tongue like music. 

 

Sebastian makes a little gasp and he’s nibbling at Ciel’s ear. “There are a thousand different ways you could do that, my Ciel.”

 

“Tell me the easiest,” Ciel whispers with growing confident as his hands slide down Sebastian’s chest and hovering over his waistband. 

 

Sebastian sucks a bruise into Ciel’s skin below his earlobe and his hands find Ciel’s. 

 

“Do to me what you do to yourself when you think of me,” Sebastian whispers. “God that was a mouthful”

 

Ciel laughs a bit into Sebastian, dipping his hands under Sebastian’s waistband, feeling the warmth trapped there. “So arrogant of you to assume that I think of you and do such vulgar things.”

 

Sebastian laughs. “Well, I’ve jacked off so many times to the thought of you, so forgive me if I though the feeling was mutual.”

 

Ciel unbuttons the slacks and palms at the bulge there. He mimics the movements he does to himself in the middle of the night while dreaming of Sebastian. “Trust me, it is.”

 

Sebastian smirks with a small moan passing his lips. “Then get on with it,” he whispers. “Take it out.”

 

Ciel’s breath shudders as he reaches deeper down and moves the cloth out of the way. Sebastian is… impressive, in the nether regions, shall we say. He’s large and quite hard, heavy in Ciel’s hand and so real. This is real. This is happening. Ciel is touching Sebastian. 

 

“You look really nervous,” Sebastian murmurs. “Don’t be. I promise my dick won’t bite. I might, but only if you let me.”

 

Ciel chokes out a short cough. “I’m not scared of your dick, Sebastian.”

 

Sebastian smirks and leans forward to brush his lips against Ciel’s ear. “Prove it.”

 

_ Oh this bastard has asked for it.  _

 

Ciel’s hand curls around Sebastian’s apparently not dangerous dick and takes a few moments to just feel it and appreciate it. He gives Sebastian a few sweet kisses and his hands roam around Sebastian’s groin, and he’s proud of the quiet moans Sebastian releases into his mouth. He cups Sebastian’s balls, weighing them as he begins slowly, oh so slowly, pumping his length. 

 

“Fuck,” Sebastian whispers. 

 

Ciel kisses him harder and pumps a little harder, but slowly. He spits into his hand to add some sort of lubrication along with Sebastian’s precum, and Sebastian’s eyes roll a little into the back of his head when Ciel’s now slick hand moves up and down. 

 

“Do you do this while thinking about me?” Ciel whispers against Sebastian’s lips. 

 

Sebastian nods. “You have no idea.”

 

“Enlighten me,” Ciel whispers. “Tell me everything.”

 

Sebastian groans happily into Ciel and bucks his hips up a bit. “I’d think about our nights at the club, how you looked when I first saw you.” Their eyes meet and Sebastian has nearly black eyes, dark with lust. “You were so small and you looked so out of place, like the moon during the day. I danced for you, danced for your innocent eyes and beautiful lips, and it was heaven on earth when I finally heard your voice. Your voice rings in my head when I do this to myself. I remember your sweet little whines and the way you say fuck when I’d touch you, and how your eyes would be blown beyond belief and how you looked like a desperate man.”

 

Ciel laughs as he twists his hand around Sebastian. “I wasn’t that desperate.”

 

“Sure,” Sebastian drawls. “You weren’t desperate for this hot piece of ass.”

 

Ciel opens his mouth to retaliate but Sebastian cuts him off.

 

“And it didn’t matter because I was desperate for you,” he says. “I saw my own desire reflected in your eyes and it drove me  _ insane _ .” He emphasizes his words with a roll of his hips into Ciel’s hand. “You were so beautiful and the look in your eye drove me mad. You were so different and you were like a drug, offering release from the boring pattern I called my life.”

 

Ciel thumbs at the head of Sebastian’s weeping dick. 

 

“So I’d imagine fucking you hard into my mattress and making you mine.”

 

_ Fuck, Sebastian. _

 

Ciel’s hand falters and his eyes are met with Sebastian’s. 

 

“You’d moan my name, only my name, and I’d become your drug, your addiction, and we’d live off each other like monsters and we’d do the most perverted things known to man.” 

 

Ciel quickens his hand and decides that Sebastian is going to be a mess by the time he cums. 

 

“I imagined fucking you on every surface of the apartment. The walls, the kitchen, the table, the bed, the stairs, all of it. Suck you off in the bathtub, jack you off in the car, fuck your pretty mouth on the couch…” Sebastian trails off and gets lost in the feeling of Ciel’s hand. “And we’d have ages to do it all. All the time in the world because you were finally mine.”

 

Sebastian kisses him softly. “You would be shy at first, unsure of how to make love. But I’d show you the ropes, and teach you the ins and outs of gay sex. You’d blush and I’d laugh and we’d kiss in the bed for hours on end before anyone’s dick even made a show. I’d wait for you to be ready and I will wait for you.”

 

_ I am ready,  _ Ciel thinks.  _ I want to forget the world and the dead touches and I want only you. I want to drown in you.  _

 

Ciel moves his hand faster, earning hitching gasps from Sebastian and he kisses him hard as he moves. He uses every trick in his admittedly small book, and then Sebastian releases a long moan and threads of white escape him. 

 

Ciel tries to lean down to taste Sebastian, but his head is being captured by Sebastian’s hand and he’s being kissed deeply, lovingly, lustfully. Sebastian drags him into his lap and he rocks their bare members together, earning shaky gasps from Ciel. Ciel is hard again, and Sebastian smirks as he grinds against his Phantomhive. 

 

“You sure you want to go all the way?” Sebastian murmurs. 

 

Ciel nods and rolls his hips into Sebastian’s. “I want you.”

 

Sebastian nods. “Then give me a moment.” He rolls over so Ciel is below him, and he shuffles off the bed and leave Ciel laying there, half naked and very confused. 

 

“I have lube in my bag,” Sebastian says. “Don’t move until I’m back.”

 

Ciel smirks and lays back on the pillows. “What if I want to touch myself? Get all hard for you?”

 

Sebastian drops his head and mutters ‘fuck’ and a few prayers. “Don’t.”

 

Ciel pouts. “Why not?”

 

Sebastian raises his head to meet Ciel’s eyes with a sinful look. “I want you to wait for me. Surely you can be obedient enough?”

 

There’s a strange tingling in Ciel’s lower abdomen and he believes he’s just discovered a kink. 

 

“Okay,” he whispers. “I’ll wait for you.”

 

Sebastian smiles and runs out out of the room with his pants hastily put on and his dick being wiped by a handful of tissues. 

 

Ciel leans back on the bed and acknowledges his dick but doesn’t touch it. Which is kinda embarrassing because now he’s following Sebastian’s orders and he’s pretty sure that’s linked to a kink of some sort. Kinks… 

 

Ciel sits straight up and clambers towards his dresser as he remembers a  _ very  _ embarrassing present Elizabeth got him ages ago. He yanks open his drawers and rustles through five of them, cursing as he tries to find the gift quickly enough to put them on before Sebastian comes back, but they don’t appear. 

 

“Where the fuck did I hide them,” he mutters. 

 

_ There they are _ , he thinks as he finds them in the very back of his bottom dresser. His hands clench around the lacy material, and he looks proud for a moment before fully realizing what he’s planning to do with the piece of clothing in his hand.

 

“Fuck, I’m a piece of shit.” 

 

He puts them on, nonetheless, and they would fit well if it wasn’t for the raging boner. Oh well, they’ll be off soon enough. Sebastian will be back soon.

 

He throws himself back onto the bed and chucks off his shirt and rest of the restraining clothing, leaving on only his lovely gift from Elizabeth. Awkwardly, he sprawls across the bed in a hopefully sexy way, but he’s not sure. He’s never seduced anyone before, so cut him some slack. 

 

Sebastian's footsteps sound in the hall and Ciel’s cock is very interested in his return. His heart, however, is far too eager and is about to fail in his chest. 

 

Sebastian strides into the room, a bottle of lube in his hand and he’s looking cocky as fuck right up until the moment his eyes land on his beloved Ciel. 

 

“Fuck,” Sebastian whispers, and he’s throwing the bottle somewhere on the bed and throwing himself at Ciel’s hips, kissing the skin around Ciel’s gift. “Where the everloving fuck did you get these beauties?”

 

Ciel blushes madly. “A friend gave them to me as a joke.”

 

Sebastian kisses Ciel’s stomach with an open mouth, and he gazed up at Ciel with half-lidded eyes. “Well, bless this friend. I nearly came right there and then, seeing you in these.”

 

Ciel blushes as Sebastian mouths at his cock through the lace panties. “Sorry.”

 

Sebastian pauses to reply. “Sorry? Baby, don’t be sorry. This is fucking heaven, right here.”

 

Ciel laughs quietly and moans as Sebastian kisses his member through the material.

 

“Shame I can’t fuck you with these on,” Sebastian murmurs. “But these will be getting a lot of love once we get into the habit of these things.”

 

“The habit of fucking?” Ciel asks. “You make it sound like a new healthy habit.”

 

Sebastian shrugs. “Sex is healthy in a relationship. Healthy and consensual sex, that is.”

 

“Well you’re doing a lot of talking and not much fucking at the moment,” Ciel mutters, and he slaps his hand over his mouth after the words have escaped him. 

 

Sebastian laughs and moves up to kiss him, pushing his hand away. “Don’t worry. I’ll be inside you soon enough.”

 

Ciel moans, but still retaliates like the little bastard he is. “Who said I’d bottom?”

 

Sebastian raises a brow and smirks. “Do you want to top me?”

 

Ciel grins wickedly while grinding into Sebastian. “Maybe. One day, I definitely will.”

 

Sebastian chuckles and drags Ciel up into his lap, and he kisses him as he drags his hands down Ciel’s lower back. “If you want to top, I’m fine with that. But I think it’ll be a little safer if I top tonight.”

 

“Why?” Ciel asks with an arrogant expression. “Is it because you’re so experienced in gay sex?”

 

Sebastian rolls his eyes and thumbs at the cloth around Ciel’s hips. “I wish I could say no, but it’s true.”

 

Ciel laughs shortly and kisses Sebastian. “Then hurry up and fuck me.”

 

“Shit,” Sebastian mutters as he rolls his hips into Ciel’s and kisses him feverishly. 

 

They roll around in the massive bed, kissing and touching and whining for each other, and Sebastian then begins making his way down to Ciel’s hips. He kisses down Ciel’s neck, collarbone, chest, nipples, stomach, lower abdomen, and he mouths at Ciel’s bee erection. He sucks purple bruises onto Ciel’s skin, marking his territory and leaving reminders for Ciel to trace as he dreams about Sebastian later. Sebastian gently turns Ciel over into his stomach, placing him in his knees and forearms, kissing his lower back and pushing apart Ciel’s legs to get better access to the beautiful ass that started it all. 

 

He kisses said ass, nipping at it playfully, and Ciel mutters a few insults about Sebastian’s honor. Nothing he can’t handle. 

 

He slowly, teasingly, painfully pulls down the pink pants that Ciel is internally screaming over, and smooth pale skin is revealed. Skin that no one but Sebastian has touched-

 

No.

 

This skin has been touched before. 

 

Sebastian finds the faint traces of scars on Ciel’s skin and he maps then out with his lips. They remind the pair that this pale beautiful body has been scarred and torn apart before, and Sebastian lavishes Ciel’s skin. He will not harm the soul in his hands and its body. He will love and cherish Ciel and rewrite the awful history carved into Ciel. 

 

And he will do so by committing filthy deeds of human lust. 

 

“Fuck!” Ciel shouts as Sebastian’s tongue finds its way onto a very private part of Ciel. 

 

Vulgar sounds fill the room, intertwining to create a strange music for Ciel and Sebastian, and Ciel feels satisfied by it. This is human. 

 

Sebastian squirts a fair amount of lube on his fingers once he’s momentarily satisfied with how he has made Ciel squirm, and he kisses Ciel softly as his fingers trace the arguably most intimate part of Ciel. 

 

“Are you okay?” Sebastian asks.

 

Ciel nods. “Be gentle.”

 

Sebastian kisses him again. “Of course.”

 

A single digit prods at Ciel’s entrance and he squirms at the feeling. 

 

“Relax,” Sebastian whispers. “Relax. I won’t hurt you.”

 

Ciel breathes in and out deeply, closing his eyes and trying to relax his clenched bottom. 

 

Sebastian kisses his cheek softly as he pushes in deeper, keeping his touch as gentle as possible and focusing on Ciel’s breathing. When Ciel doesn’t negatively respond, he begins moving his finger in and out slowly, getting Ciel used to the feeling and trying to find the spot that will have Ciel screaming his name in ecstasy. 

 

“Add another one,” Ciel whispers. 

 

Sebastian nods and complies, going even slower.

 

Ciel winces slightly at the stretch, and Sebastian kisses him softly as he moves his fingers in and out. 

 

“I’ve got you,” he whispers. “I’ve got you.”

 

Ciel’s breath staggers through his lungs, and Sebastian moves his other hand to Ciel’s erection, curling around it and pumping it. Ciel moans and Sebastian moves his fingers more and faster, beginning to scissor Ciel. Ciel is gasping at the stimulation and trying to decide whether or not the fingers up his ass are good or bad, but then Sebastian’s fingers curl in  _ just  _ the right way and suddenly Ciel is whining at too high a frequency, pure pleasure filling his nerves for just a moment.

 

Sebastian’s smirk is blinding. “Found it.”

 

Ciel is a disaster gay mess moaning into the pillows now that Sebastian has found his prostate. 

 

His dick weeps as Sebastian’s hands touch every sensitive part of him, and soon enough, three, four fingers are plunging into Ciel and preparing him for what’s to come. 

 

“Are you okay?” Sebastian asks as he removes his fingers and grasps at Ciel’s hips. 

 

Ciel nods quickly. “Am I ready?”

 

Sebastian laughs quietly as he pulls Ciel’s torso flush against his own. “Only you can answer that question, Ciel.”

 

Ciel bites his lip and rocks his ass against Sebastian’s now very hard cock. 

 

“I think I’m ready.”

 

Sebastian kisses Ciel’s nape and gently places Ciel back onto the bed, turning him over so they face each other. 

 

“Tell me if you want to stop,” Sebastian murmurs, and Ciel nods. 

 

“I trust you.”

 

Sebastian kisses Ciel tenderly as he lines his member up with Ciel’s prepared entrance. 

 

“You will never hurt me.”

 

The tip enters Ciel, and his breath becomes ragged. His virginity is officially gone. In no manner is he a virgin, and he’s given it all to Sebastian. It was always going to be Sebastian. Ever since he saw this giant ass marble sculpture of a man, he was lost. It’s always been Sebastian, and honestly it’s shallow as fuck.

 

But Ciel doesn’t care. He doesn’t care. He wants Sebastian and he doesn’t feel scared as Sebastian moves into him and holds him. He belongs in these strong arms and he belongs with Sebastian. For the first time in a lifetime, he feels safe and loved. 

 

When Sebastian bottoms out, Ciel is lost in the look on Sebastian’s face. He looks blissfully lost in the sensation of Ciel’s warmth, and that look banishes any senses of pain in Ciel’s not so virgin ass. Sebastian opens his eyes to meet Ciel’s, maroon eyes meeting blue ones, and they come crashing together in a kiss as violet paints their eyes. This is where they were meant to be.

 

They begin moving together, rising and falling as one creature, the creature every religion has spoken of. The creature humans make together when lust overtakes them, the creature that makes them human. Because this is what makes them human. Love and lust. 

 

_ Love and lust.  _

 

Frantically, they move together. Sebastian finds the spot in Ciel that sends stars blinding his eyes, and the only words they seem capable of saying are ‘fuck’ and each other's names. Sebastian is a creature of base desire now, and so is Ciel. 

 

_ This is what we are _ .

 

_ We are human, and this is how we love.  _

 

Ciel knows only Sebastian’s touch as they chase their climaxes. Every nightmare he’s spent his life running from has disappeared in Sebastian’s fire, and the only hands to have ever touched Ciel are Sebastian’s own. Sebastian is the only one to have known Ciel like this. Sebastian is the only one. 

 

“Fuck, Ciel,” Sebastian gasps against Ciel’s open mouth. 

 

“Sebastian,” Ciel moans. “Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian.” His name is a mantra and it cures the pain in Ciel's life. 

 

The feeling of Sebastian slipping in and out of Ciel is overwhelming, and he’s lost in it. Lost in the warmth and the bluntness of the sensations and the lewd sounds filling the room. It’s all so real. The wet and messy kisses on their lips; the loud and shameless sounds from their mouths; the sound of skin slapping against skin. This is the world that Ciel has missed. Reality, as some of us like to call it.

 

Ciel comes first, and Sebastian follows soon after, adding even stranger sensations to Ciel’s nerves. They stay there, panting and gasping and racing for breath, and when their eyes meet they kiss. 

 

Ciel never wants to let Sebastian go. He loves this feeling. The awkward stickiness on his stomach; the softening dick in his ass; the heat drowning the room; the wet kisses all over his face and neck; he loves all of it. This is so real and it feels so satisfying. 

 

“Ciel?” Sebastian whispers. “You’re crying.”

 

Ciel throws his head back and laughs as the tears run down his face. “Thank you.”

 

Sebastian looks a bit confused. “For what?”

 

Ciel kisses him and smiles as he slowly descends from his high. “For making me human again.”

 

Sebastian kisses him back. “You’re welcome.”

 

Ciel clutches at Sebastian and they lay there in bed together, relishing in the physical aspect of humanly love. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the chapter was a bit all over the place, but I’d like to think that it makes things a little more realistic? People are awkward and things don’t flow as well as they should at times, so... yeah. (Just leave me to make excuses for my choppy writing)
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments and tell me what you think!


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